Hi, I don't know if you're taking requests or not, but if you are, could you do a fluffy romance-y Gamzee Makara x fem Reader, where, after always feeling cold, the Reader decides to steal one of Gamzee’s enormous hoodies without asking, the sleeves dangling well past her hands. Gamzee, at first, was making a big show of being offended, like gasping, clutching his chest, and groaning about his “sacred clown garments.” But then, after a while, he stares a little too long at how small the Reader looks wrapped up in his clothes. Later that evening, while the Reader's curled against him, he admits in a shy mumble that he likes seeing her in his things, because it feels like the world can tell she's his? You can fill in the rest or expand on it if you want, maybe even jazz it up a little?
Hoohhh wow. Okay. I’m glad you know what you like! You’ve basically written out an entire imagine, so I’ll have to do one better. Certainly something to build off of though! Ahem…
‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹
The hive is always cold. Too cold. He can’t feel it, you’ve asked him to turn it down over and over but he always forgets. It’s hardy like his usual outfits do him any favors either, being light and loose. It’s only natural for a coldblood to want to stay cold. So while he’s out in his living room- which you can hear, because he’s stepping on horns and scaring himself all the while- looking for something to watch, you dig through his closet.
He’s got a lot of clothes you’ve never seen before, sweaters and tank tops and jerseys and hoods and robes. Psychopathic records, some of his juggalo cult things… but some of the clothes are nice and plain as well. Maybe you’ll be able to steal some of those without him noticing? You find a nice, heavy hoodie, purple and black colors. There’s a symbol of the back of a man running with a some of cleaver, which means rather little you.
When you slip it over your head, you have to shake hair out of you eyes. It’s warm. This is what you needed. The thing is the size. The very bottom reaches your knees. The sleeves entirely engulf your hands. There’s no way you can take it from Gamzee without him noticing it belongs to him, but surely just a little warming up won’t hurt? Just a little longer…
“ Hey, babe, check it, I found a horn that doesn’t…” Gamzee stops in the door. “ … work…”
The horn in his hand hits the ground with a dismal honk-squeal. He doesn’t jump this time, eyes focused on you. They slide downward, then right back upward. His words sort of die in this throat.
“ … Do you like it?”
He honk-hiccups. “ Nnno.”
“ You don’t?”
“ Nooo! Nooooooo! That’s mine!” He doesn’t sound hurt, but…
“ What’s wrong?”
“ My vestments… oh, baby, my sacred vestments…”
“ This is a hoodie.”
“ Of only the most wicked motherfucker to run with a hatchet!”
“ Why wasn’t it with your church things then?”
“ ‘Cause I didn’t think- aaaughk!”
He dramatically leans over to clutch his chest, letting his hair drop into his face.
“ Gamz…”
He whines as he looks up at you. “ Sacrilege… sacrilege to the highest degree…”
You laugh and step forward, pulling his hands from his chest into your own. “ Sweetheart… I’m just cold.”
“ Can’t I warm you up?”
“ Babes, you’re naturally cold. I don’t know if you can.”
“ Let me tryyy! Let me try, c’mon, let’s go to the couch.”
He pulls you out to the couch, careful to step over his horns. You both gladly sit next to eachother, and you lean against him. He puts the show he’s decided on- something sappy. He’s probably seen it several times over, and you vaguely remember seeing it once. Still, yku settle in for the ride.
… He doesn’t. He keeps looking between the screen and to you. How the sleeves cover your hands, how it drapes over your body. You can tell, his swath of hair keeps moving back and forth.
“ … Do you even want to watch this?”
“ Huh-? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do.”
“ You’re not.”
He giggles a little, leaning against you. You lean back.
“ Maybe I like looking! Doesn’t hurt to look.”
“ I thought you didn’t like me wearing this.”
He quiets before he pulls your head into his chest. You don’t argue, and instead nuzzle in.
“ You’re so small compared to me, you know that? I like it. I like it lots…”
“ Uh-huh. I figured.”
Gamzee chuckles a little, running a finger through your hair and twirling stray strands.
“ … And I like you in my clothes too. I get to look at you and think… you’re mine. And I want other people to think that too. I want everyone to think that too.”
“ Well… I do like your closet. Maybe I can…?”
“ … I want you to wear my things more. I wanna see you in my shirts. My jackets. My pants, my boxers… I want you in my skin. In my chest, nested in my ribs…”
“ … Gamz.”
“ I do. I want to feel you in me. I want you intertwined with me. On every level.”
His gaze is… intense. Much more than before.
“ I wanna make sure they could never pull us apart and untangle us even if they tried to.”
“ Nobody’s going to pull us apart, Gamz. It’s okay.”
can u do eridan ampora x reader pls plsssssss 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
That I can! Thank you so much for requesting... I also saw this was matesprit specific, so I got you!
He cares a lot about being seen with you, and YOU being seen with HIM. He's quick to initiate affection in public, but is completely knocked off guard when you do the same. Sure, he wants to be a status symbol around you, but it's still plenty embarrassing to him.
He has a very, very hard time being vulnerable. Whenever he is, it comes with a surge of embarrassment and depression. Luckily, he's more than happy to grab on to you. He'll take anything to the grave so long as you promise never to let anyone know he cries.
He gets dizzy when kissed. His fins wiggle and flap like he's trying to fly away. Sucker for the simple and chaste things, but might kiss you so hard you can't breathe. Forgets not everyone has gills.
Touch starved. LOVES initiating but struggles when receiving. Plays with your hair and holds your face. He likes the warmer sensation in his hands. On colder nights, he's completely shameless in snuggling into you like a personal space heater.
Get prepared for lots of trips. He wants you SPOILED. Living a high life nobody can give you but him. Cruises. Flights. Vacations. Fine dining. Parties, galas, balls. If you let him, he'll drag you on his own ship and sail across the seas with you on his arm.
He doesn't shame your wardrobe. He just... keeps... adding to it. You're his personal mannequin anyways, it's not his fault you look so good in certain outfits and nobody else ever would! And even if he HATES your outfit, he'll try to subtly match it- but don't be surprised if some clothes go missing.
Gossip. Gossip. Gossip. He'll bitch about ANYTHING to you, and absolutely loves it if you join in or provide your own complaints about things. He's not afraid to start arguments either, but expects you just don't take it personally. If you DO, he panics and shows up with a bunch of flowers and some dead lusus. Even if he wants to pretend like he's above begging, he's still so very desperate to keep you.
Please ask him about wizards. He wants to complain about them so badly. He wants to talk about how inaccurate they are and how he'd make them better and logical and just make sense! And he's NOT TALKING TO HIS FRIENDS ABOUT THEM EVER OKAY!!! ITS EMBARRASSING HE USED TO HAVE A MAGIC PHASE AND THEY KNOW THAT!!!
HOW THE HOMESTUCK CHARACTER YOU'RE DATING WOULD REACT TO YOU BEING CALLED A SLUR
Includes : Beta Trolls, Alpha Kids, Beta Kids. Online and Offline variants. Typing quirks, custom colors, special text characters, NOT SCREEN READER FRIENDLY. Long post.
TROLLS
ARADIA MEGIDO -
[AA]: 0_0
Online, she doesn't appear to comment about it. Aradia's sort of a lurker in most conversations. However, she's completely down to send ghosts after the person to haunt them- she probably just won't tell you. And if she DOES, it's offhandedly.
Of course, she won't do much in person just for her own safety. She'll just sort of press her lips tight together and make a weird face as she stares at the person.
TAVROS NITRAM -
[AT]: wOAH,, hANG oN tHERE,,,
Online, Tavros will nigh immediately comment on it. He doesn't like it, it makes HIM uncomfortable, and it PROBABLY makes you uncomfortable as well. Of course, his argument really doesn't go beyond “calling someone a ██████ is mean”, which'll likely get him called a ██████ in turn. In that case, he just kind of agrees and then shuts up.
Even if we play with the idea he's safe to go out in person, he still immediately tries to leave to avoid any sort of conflict. If someone's willing to insult YOU, they're willing to insult him and he certainly doesn't want to be there for it.
SOLLUX CAPTOR -
[TA]: oh youre one two talk about fuckiing ██████2 arent you
Online, Sollux immediately raises hell. He's a nerd and a hacker, he knows how to be annoying and will weaponize it IMMEDIATELY. He'll instantly start to spam the DMs of the person with the same slur AND more. And you best believe he'll work his magic and try to send a .zip bomb their way. Don't fuck with an ~ATH user, they'll kill themselves too.
Naturally, he isn't as confrontational in person. He'll still make a grimace and go as far as to maybe murmur a different slur back, but he certainly won't be the one to start anything… offline, anyways.
KARKAT VANTAS -
[CG]: OH I DIDN'T KNOW WE HAVE A ██████ EXPERT HERE. PLEASE, ENLIGHTEN US WITH YOUR PROWESS IN IDENTIFYING ██████S FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, PROFESSOR BULGEMUNCH. TELL ME, DID YOU GET YOUR DEGREE FROM…
It's no surprise Karkat would raise a stink. He might say the word back, but otherwise he won't use slurs in retaliation. His natural way of talking is colorful as-is. Throwing in any new variables would just clutter it up and make him sound edgy like that other moron. He's probably been blocked by now, but you can hear the righteous flurry of taps his fingers are making across the keyboard. "If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo." - Sun Tzu, probably.
There really isn't much of a difference in person- should we pretend he can even leave his hive in safety, anyways. His language is just as flowery, matched with lots of waving his hands and arms. It's almost like some sort of intimidation tactic, but that's really just how he speaks when he's animated. The difference is that it's a whole lot less than it would be online, and he's quick to leave. Retaliation is the one thing he doesn't wanna stick around for, as enlightening as a response would be.
NEPETA LEIJON -
[AC]: :33< *ac unsheathes her claws and releases a flurry of strikes!*
Truth be told, a lot of things Nepeta does reads as terribly unserious even if it's completely genuine. This is one of those things. She immediately jumps into roleplay, regardless if she was doing it or not… to write about viciously killing the other person over and over again! Her fingers are on fire! Her paws of fury cannot be stopped!… until Equius starts pestering her, anyways.
She's just as confrontational in public, probably because she doesn't get out much at all. She'll start hissing… and if that doesn't deter the other party, she's lunging. You'll likely need to pull her off… if you're worried she won't win, anyways.
KANAYA MARYAM -
[GA]: Have You Heard About [XX]
[GA]: Its Really A Crying Shame They Outed Themself As A ██████ And A Whiny Little Grub Loser
[GA]: Truly
Kanaya isn't entirely confrontational online. Especially she knows because it won't do much. That doesn't mean she isn't petty. She's SUPER petty. She immediately starts ignoring the other party and openly shit-talks them to you… in the same chat they're in. She completely ignores them, pretending they aren't there and she can't see their messages unless it's more fuel for the fire. She's giggling the whole time.
However, she's got a lot more patience and tact in person- she's got to, with the people she's been around. The other person won't elicit more than an eye-roll from her… though while she turns her back to them, you notice she'll start applying a new layer of lipstick…
Terezi is not much help. She doesn't care you got called a slur- she just cares that it was THAT one. There's so many better words, and she'll gladly point out which. She'll even rank them, if you want. Accidentally derails the entire conversation to her blindness and general synesthesia.
It's not much different in real life either. She'll grimace and power through the conversation and try to switch it to something else. If she can't, she's ready to leave. But she'll happily ask how you want that person to be killed later! Get ready for a roleplay session.
VRISKA SERKET -
[AG]: UH, HELLOOOOOOOO????????
[AG]: YOU'RE THE ██████ HERE 8UDDY!!!!!!!!
[AG]: ██████ ██████ ██████ ██████ ██████ ██████ ██████ ██████ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Right onto the attack. If she likes you, she's taking this as an attack against HERSELF. She's not shy about saying it right back, and incorporating new slurs into her dialogue. Get cre8tive! She'll spam them as much as she pleases until she gets bored- and, hey, if she can manipul8 them into injuring themselves, even better. But after, you better be ready for her to gloat to you how much better she is for fighting this battle for YOUR honor and you REALLY ought to be gr8ful……..
And it's not terribly different in person either. She's not afraid to get into a shouting spat, though she's sure to end it early and roll her eyes and storm off just so the other person can see how much SHE DOESNT CARE AT ALL FOR SURE CLEARLY!!!!!!!! Vriska will still lay into you though, making her defend you ALL BY HERSELF (even though she didn't give you the chance to butt in at all)……..
EQUIUS ZAHHAK -
[CT]: D→ Um
[CT]: D→ If I may
[CT]: D→ [YN] is not a “██████”
[CT]: D→ You mean to say ██████ surely because that is the e%c100sive term that applies to them
He argues about semantics. It's stupid you got called that, because you're not! He just wants to point out what you ARE so they'll be CORRECT next time!
He's really not much better in person. He just starts sweating harder than he usually does. You're not sure if he's enjoying this or not.
GAMZEE MAKARA -
[TC]: Aw InVeRtEbRo... WhAtS WrOnG WiTh BeInG A ██████? DoN'T AnY ██████S DeSeRvE SoMe MoThErFuCkIn SyMpAtHy? :o(
He doesn't actually know what the word means, though he's heard it before. He has to look it up before actually replying. What's so wrong with being a certain type of person anyways? "(Wе got you!) Our wagons take you to a place / Where they rejoice your voice and celebrate your face / (We got you!) Climb aboard and discover / Your sisters and your brothers and significant others / (We got you!) Ride's free, and it's free to get in / Whatever shape you be, you perfectly fit in (We got you!) / (Want you, need you!) 'Cause we can see your soul is shinin' bright / And we're the Carnival of Lights" - Insane Clown Posse, Carnival of Lights.
To be honest, it's a lot worse in person. He's stoned and completely misses it- either that, or he's never heard it said and only read it. He doesn't know what it means, and you're going to have to point it out for him to even really react. And all he's going to do is leave, really. Harsh vibes. No need to stick around.
ERIDAN AMPORA -
[CA]: im sorry wwhen did the ██████ get allowwed to havve opinions on ██████s again
[CA]: honestly laughable howw you think you evven havve a place in this convversation ██████scum come back wwhen you actually havve somethin to offer to society like [YN]
[CA]: havve you actually tried thinkin before speakin you piece a shit cause its glaringly obvvious that...
There's no way ERIDAN of all people would let anythin' like that slide. This is about to get VERY personal for EVERYONE involved, because he's pullin' out all the stops. If you know anythin' about this person, it's bein dredged up and attacked. On the off chance you don't, he'll make it up. It doesn't need to be true, it just needs to be a blatant attack and get his point across.
He's much worse in person, primarily because he keeps that thang on him. You and everybody in the area are about to become intimately familiar with the might of Ahab's Crosshairs.
FEFERI PEIXES -
[CC]: U)(, S)(-ELLO? [YN] isn't a ██████, you ██████!
[CC]: Just because t)(ey ACT like one SOM-ETIM-ES doesn't mean T)(-EY ACTUALS-EA AR-E!!!!!!!!! G-ET YOUR FACTS STRAIG)(T!!!!!!!!!!!
Feferi… TRIES to defend you, it seems. She's got a BIT of the spirit, but she's really not above both saying it AND insulting you in the process. You're lucky she's just going to block that person…
It's worse in person, because she's practically got a captive audience just by being who she is, and she'll try to defend your honor by dragging it through the mud. Just because you DRESS like a total ██████ doesn't mean you ARE a total ██████! You're too smart and nice and pretty to be a ██████, duh! She's going to point it all out!
HUMANS
JOHN EGBERT -
[EB]: uh, wow okay buddy!
[EB]: i mean looks like you're the ██████ here but whatever!
He immediately bounces back. What else is he meant to do? There's two of you and one of them! He gets into petty insults and eggs you on to join in. Once he gets bored enough, it's blocking time.
In person though, he fumbles through his words and ends up resorting to a childish insult instead. He's a great annoyance though.
DAVE STRIDER -
[TG]: i mean whos to say maybe we're all ██████s
[TG]: prolly just you though given youre the biggest ██████ ive ever met
[TG]: pales in comparison to [YN] its astronomical the level of ██████ery you exhibit im impressed
It's a “yes, and” situation. He immediately jumps on the track of using slurs in three different paragraphs. He doesn't like it aimed at YOU per se, so he whips it right back around at the other person, but you're certainly not exempt from jeering either.
In PERSON however, he cares much more about his cool guy ego. He just shakes his head and gives a thumbs down.
ROSE LALONDE -
[TT]: Curious, coming from you. Did you know the username [XX] tells a lot about your psyche? I can tell neither of your parents ever loved you. It's actually particularly Freudian when it comes to…
Online, she can easily play into her psychoanalysis shtick. Slap words together, long and smart, and bullshit… yeah, she seems to composed, she's got it in the bag. Throws in her own projection for the hell of it.
In person… she doesn't have time or the comfort to compose herself like she does at home. She just flings slurs and insults back. Fuck it. Who needs composure when you can be right?
JADE HARLEY -
[GG]: hey! youre a ██████! leave [YN] alone! you sound like a miserable person!
Let's not kid herself, she WOULD say slurs. But this is the closest you'd get to a genuine defense from… everyone, really. She'll try more to comfort you and shame the other person than start a fight.
In person though? BECQUEREL GO!!!
JANE CROCKER -
[GG]: Oh, you want to talk ██████? I'm sure you know all about being ██████, you little ██████. Do you think you're better just because we can't see your face? We all know you're…
Jane has read enough hatemail, and told how to cope with it. These people are sad and lonely. She wants to make them feel sadder and lonelier. Sure, she might come after to check if you're ok later on, but she's much too busy ripping this person a new one. She's more likely to discuss a cease and desist.
In person, she doesn't bother to dignify responses. Just rolls her eyes and threatens to call cops or security. She's just busy and doesn't want to deal with you being harassed.
DIRK STRIDER -
[TT]: What?
[TT]: I suppose that makes enough sense, but I'm more surprised I didn't get the accusation first.
[TT]: I'm prime ██████ material. Maybe it just imprinted on [YN].
He doesn't have a healthy enough relationship with the world around him and the association with slurs. So instead, he opts to make the situation about himself to divert it from you being insulted. Even tries to play it off as a joke. Even though he loathes labels, he'll take the one.
In person, he's not much help either. He sort of just stares at the person, formulating the right string of words to simultaneously prove himself superior to this person, be your ideal white knight without seeming too obsessed, and also not get hate-crimed in the process. He ends up not speaking at all. He doesn't apologize later either, too busy debating if the cons of killing himself outweigh the pros.
ROXY LALONDE -
[TG]: oh look who decided to speak up now
[TG]: do u think callin ppl ██████ n stuff earns u social points??
[TG]: nobdy likes an asshole get real we all kno ur the ██████
Roxy on the attack! She cycles between calling the person an asshole to their face, and calling the person an asshole to you in private while making sure you don't take it too hard. Eventually she'll be too focused on you to bother with the other one.
In person, she gets loud. Really really loud, and repeating what they said to draw attention. She's going to call them the hell out and make sure everybody knows what kind of person they are.
JAKE ENGLISH -
[GT]: Boy howdy and i thought my language is antiquated!
[GT]: Do your kiss your mother with that mouth or is she the uncivilized ██████ you learned that language from?
A stern talking-to is to be had! He's livid! Who uses that language this day and age! Other than him, because he immediately fires it back at the person and their mother and their father and everyone they happen to know.
In physical confrontation, he immediately escalates the situation. Finger jabbing in the chest, getting into their face, and getting LOUD. He doesn't WANT a fight, but he's very eager for fisticuffs all the same. Of course, he's quick to leave if it isn't working. He's only fighting if they are. And if they're NOT, he's out of there with you.
Could you please write headcanons for Eridan helping his human moirale through a panic attack? I’m going through it rn,, /lh
IM SO SORRY ANON. IM SO SORRY. This was sent Sept. 30th :(
Eridan is unfamiliar with panic attacks conceptually. He's never really... needed to panic, just sort of attack. He doesn't get the word itself, and assumes it's something violent. Maybe it is.
All he knows is that when he sees you freaking out, his pusher drops. He's quick to get over to your side, hands hovering over you and not touching.
You're getting his coat. And his scarf. Maybe more scarves and coats. You must be cold? You're shaking, you might be cold. He's bundling you up with his own coat, that's for certain.
Only then does he even touch you, through his own coat. Just in case he'd be too cold against your skin. But it's hugs and leaning. He doesn't want to leave you alone. He only will if you ask him to.
If you're legible enough, he'll try to get you to explain how you're feeling. He doesn't understand why, and he needs to. Even if it doesn't make sense, he tries to reason you through it. If you're feeling in danger or unsafe, he immediately offers to be protection no matter the cost.
If it's overstimulation, he's more than happy just to share the same space without making much noise. He's too scared himself to leave you be, but he doesn't want to make anything worse. Happy to turn off the lights and open windows to clear out smells and take the coat off you if the texture feels bad.
Silent dissociation makes him antsy, and he'll try talking to you... and then at you. If it seems to work, he's glad to ramble on about virtually nothing. If it's not helping at all, he's glad to just exist in your general area in attempt to help.
If it isn't in person and more online, he'll start continuously messaging you. First trying to talk it out, but if you're not in the mood, he'll try distraction instead.
Regardless of how you panic- loud, quiet, completely still, all over- he doesn't want to leave you. He'll hang around as long as you need, and if you don't want him in the room, he's not going to go far either way.
Truthfully, he can be a little smothering. He wants this fixed as soon as possible because you're being vulnerable and that's terrifying. You're vulnerable and he can't be that and if you're that then you can get hurt and he doesn't WANT to hurt you, so he wants it over.
Afterwards, he acts like it was nothing and it didn't bother him whatsoever. He's still a little shaken, and it makes him standoffish. There's no way he was freaked out over just one upset human, regardless of quadrant! But thanking him will soothe those nerves immediately.
davesprite x reader pretty please? My boy doesn't get the attention he deserves
Btw love the writing!! Stay hydrated and sleep pleaseee
UM. WELL. I HAVE NOT BEEN DOING THAT *OR* WRITING. APOLOGIES. This was from Sept. 30th.
However, I HAD been drafting this mentally when I was writing the Pale Dave x Reader... bc I initially misread it as Davesprite... perhaps, he is winning in my mind...?
Listen. He is nesting. He is insisting he is not nesting. You look at it. It is a huddle of blankets and soft things you and him both fit perfectly in laying down together. There are entertainment devices and snacks within arms reach. It is a nest. You tell him it is a nest. He ruffles his feathers at you.
He WILL be preening you, okay? He doesn't know that's what he's doing, but if he spots a stray strand of hair on you, he's picking it off and then getting absorbed in getting your hair nice and neat and making sure your outfit is clean too. He'll say he doesn't want you to do it back, but if you play with his feathers, he's immediately a sucker for it. He'll look at you really sad if you stop.
He likes physical affection a LOT. He wants to hold onto you, wants to cling onto you like some little koala. He likes being able to touch you. He likes knowing you're real and not going anywhere.
He's not one to talk about his feelings- when he's mourning he either shuts down or deflects. But he's a good listener when you need it. Sometimes there's things he just can't joke about, and how other people feel is one of those times.
He takes the sword out of his chest before touching you, no matter what. He doesn't want to risk anything. Making you bleed, accidental or not, is unforgivable.
He's quite the talker when he's not downtrodden. He likes rambling about nonsense and it's hard to follow unless you've got ADHD to parallel his own. He likes spouting nonsense rhymes in the middle of his rants, and if you start rhyming with him, you can watch his wings flap slightly in excitement.
A lot of his body is a tell to how he's feeling, even if his face is relatively blank. He puffs up, he flutters, he twitches and jerks, his sprite tail waggles and sways. It's really funny when you can tell he's trying to impress you and his feathers poof around his neck.
he sits on you. im sorry. its happening. when you can fly you can be an asshole in unique ways. he sits on you. he takes things and holds them up high. he goes through the walls and floors for fun. he sits on you. youre his stool now. sorry.
CHILDREN ASKING THE HOMESTUCK KIDS WHERE BABIES COME FROM
Includes : Alpha Kids, Beta Kids. Characters are adults, but not exactly HSBC. Strictly offline. No colors. Possibly screenreader friendly. SFW.
JOHN EGBERT -
He's going to lie. Flat out. He either goes the good ol' stork method, says the gods handcraft them, or they get pulled out of hats like rabbits. He thinks it's funny.
DAVE STRIDER -
Immediately assumes the child knows what sex is, tries to go into detail while very clearly not understanding anatomy himself. Makes it sound kind of scary, disturbs himself doing it. Sort of fumbles with his words before telling the child to ask their parents.
ROSE LALONDE -
Tries to go "birds and bees" method. Not touching the exact methodology but giving a brief understanding of the concept. Pollinators and egg layers, what's not to get? Encourages the child to ask questions to their parents after, but also do their own research.
JADE HARLEY -
And I quote, "it depends! sometimes its meteors, but usually its from a butt." That is roughly her understanding, or at least as much as she thinks a child should understand. Leaves more questions than answers. Alternatively, may describe weird ways ANIMALS do it. Very, very uncomfortable.
JANE CROCKER -
Tells the child to ask somebody else, preferably a parent, or just look it up online. "But do NOT use the image function." She's NOT getting in trouble for this.
DIRK STRIDER -
Um. Uh. Um. He sweats a lot and his hands shake as he tries to be literal and metaphorical and honestly he spouts a lot of nonsense that sounds really adult-ish, before settling on "Parents make them". How? With their hands. Yup.
ROXY LALONDE -
"ok when a man nd a woman luv eachother very very much they go to the baby place and ask for one and thats how they got you!" She stresses the fact the two have to be in love, both adults, and do it together, but lies exactly about what they do.
JAKE ENGLISH -
Tells the child they don't seem old enough to know- but then confides in them that "i have good reason to believe they MAY come from one of those big factories way off yonder..."
these r really good btw!! you're a p cool person!!
OHOHOH. Absolutely. This will be neat…
Nepeta is, naturally, a shipper. Dirk cannot help but enable her. The OTPS WILL be drawn, no matter how badly. Fujoshi 4 Himedanshi type relationship, in my mind.
Dirk tried to “organize” “natural interactions” between the OTPs of real people so he can Nepeta could giggle and gossip over it. The thing is that somebody got wiser and realized what he was doing and told him to cut it out. He tries a lot more subtly, but nobody really trusts him as soon as he starts taking restaurants and 3 person movie nights between strangers.
Little Seb is terrorized often. Nepeta has scars on her face from pouncing onto him and strifing.
Dirk has scars on his face and back from Nepeta.
I just saw a lizard, so I’d like to add that Dirk just grabs whatever random animal or he sees in the wild to bring to her for approval. She is flattered but oftentimes just eats it from his hand. Perhaps like… a horse…?
They argue over AppleDash (Nepeta) or RariJack (Dirk). He refuses to admit that AppleDash is canon.
Back to scars- Dirk has plenty on his arms from Nepeta. She likes to knead on him with her gloves on, which will slightly draw out those sharp claws. He says absolutely nothing about it. Has lead to some bloody accidents when either is startled.
Dirk is not allowed to sleep while awake. The second he starts to stall or stand in place for a bit too long, Nepeta starts swatting at him. STOP DISSOCIATING.
Dirk likes hunting with her. A lot. The issue is that he tried to make it efficient and ends up usually over-hunting. As soon as the population starts to dwindle, he starts making robots for them to hunt instead until the ecosystem balances again and he can repeat this, feeling worse every time.
Fan art for eachother rather frequently.
They keep rewatching Sugoi Quest For Kokoro and Nyan Neko Sugar Girls together.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ANYTHING ERISOLSPRITE X DAVESPRITE I BEG
My immediate thought is *pale*. A guy with self loathing of who he is and a guy with self loathing of who he isn’t. A very tasty pairing. I applaud you. But let me get to it. I’m always open to feedback as well, so let me know if you don’t like some of this!
Erisolsprite was the one to start the relationship. They both danced around it for a long, long while before Erisolsprite outright thought it would kill him if they both were waiting for the other to make the first move.
Both are extremely touch starved, with Davesprite craving it and Erisolsprite repulsed by it. Neither are ever physically affectionate in public, but Davesprite enjoys laying across Erisolsprite’s lap. It’s the only thing Erisolsprite can stand for long periods of time.
They placate eachother with their own self loathing. It annoys the other so much it snaps them out of spirals. It’s probably not even intentional on either of their parts.
Neither of them like their own bodies, but love things about the others. Erisolsprite likes Davesprite’s wings- it’s an unfamiliar texture- and the sword in his chest. At least he got to keep the weapon. Davesprite likes the different horns and the textures, the strange fins and accent.
Erisolsprite is soooo tired of Davesprites sense of humor, but is a sucker for it. Likes those SBAHJ comics. Tries to draw for it, but his hands are too shaky and won’t bother with a computer.
Davesprite beatboxes. Erisolsprite tries to sing. No lyrical or vocal talent. Davesprite gasses him up to hell and back so that he doesn’t stop doing it.
They grieve differently. Erisolsprite gets angry. Davesprite isolates. Neither want to let the other do it. Davesprite grabs onto his arms and lets Erisolsprite beat him up, which doesn’t happen for very long because the guilt sets in fact. Erisolsprite won’t stop annoying Davesprite during the isolation.
To add onto that, Erisolsprite gets nervous raising his voice at Davesprite due to the whole Bro trauma, but hates apologizing. Instead, he’ll hug onto Davesprite as an apology and murmur out affectionate statements.
Davesprite has issues saying “I love you”, but itll slip out whenever he’s joking around. It’s mindless other than rare cases it’s deliberate comfort.
