The Great Faerun Baking Show (part five)
Hello people. I cannot be stopped. Do you know how long I spent making up and looking up weird desserts? Do you have any idea how hard I tried to come up with a baking-related pun using the word 'Menzobarranzan'? I have a Problem.
(I failed thinking of a pun, by the way. Feel free to comment whatever you come up with and then I'll kick myself for not being as clever as you)
For those of you who are just stopping by, I had a horrible idea a while ago and this is the result. I have no idea what's going to happen or who's going to win. I’m just going to roll a D20 ‘bake check’ for everyone and write out the results, including what everyone rolled so y’all know I’m not cheating just so my druid boyfriend can win. The person with the lowest total score (out of a possible score of 60) goes home.
We've got the main 6 companions, Jaheira, Halsin, Minsc (and Boo), Minthara, Dammon, and my tav Medora (who y'all can just pretend is Alfira if you don't want someone else's tav in the story, since they're both female bards)
Week One, Cake Week: Star baker was Karlach, Minthara went home
Week Two, Biscuit Week: Star baker was Halsin, Shadowheart went home
Week Three, Bread Week: Star baker was Wyll, Jaheira went home
Week Four, Pies and Tarts Week: Star baker was Wyll, Minsc went home
Week Four: Underdark Week, or "Just Like Lolth Used to Make"
This cake uses sussur fruit instead of eggs, which provides a unique gelatinous quality. They also glow in the dark, which of course they do.
Astarion: Blackberry and vanilla sussur loaf. He got the proportions wrong, and after upending his pan onto his serving dish the sussur loaf oozed out in a puddle. The flavor was nice, but the presentation was horrible.
Dammon: Peach lemonade sussur loaf. Part of the loaf stuck to the pan, but he did his best to decorate it with leftover sussur fruit to hide it. The dark silhouettes on the glowing cake disrupted the traditional clean look, but there was nothing to complain about regarding the flavor.
Gale: Pandan and star anise sussur loaf. The star anise flavor was a bit too strong and the loaf was underbaked, but overall he received positive comments from the judges.
Halsin: Honey and lavender sussur loaf. The alien-looking cake and the homey flavors made a wonderful contrast, and it was baked almost perfectly.
Karlach: Gin and tonic sussur loaf. While her loaf was in the oven she passed around measuring cups of booze for the other bakers, the hosts, the camera crew... Things came out quite nicely, but the taste was ALMOST too boozy.
Lae'zel: Ginger and passionfruit sussur loaf. A nearly-flawless bake that came almost perfectly out of the pan. She expected no less, of course.
Medora: Rose and orange blossom sussur loaf. The floral flavors and the glow of the cake made her dessert look ethereal. She went a bit too heavy-handed with the rose, however.
Wyll: Lemon and thyme sussur loaf. The Blade isn't familiar with the Underdark, and it showed, unfortunately. The loaf was very overbaked, which dims the signature glow, and the thyme was overwhelmed by the lemon.
Technical: Menzobarranzan Tavuk Göğsü
This seemingly inocuous custard-based dessert contains a secret ingredient: shredded bulette meat. You apparently can't taste it if you prepare it correctly, and it provides a more robust texture to the dessert.
Showstopper: Myconid Cake
What better way to showcase the natural beauty of the underdark than to bake a tribute to those weird and wonderful mushroom people? Cakes must have two tiers and beautifully decorated.
Astarion: Tiramisu cake. The soaking syrup he put on the layers made the cake too wet, but the flavors were well balanced. He wasn't able to make as many decorations as he liked, but the ones he managed to create were nice.
Dammon: Earl Grey cake with raspberries. And with enough myconid-like decorations that it looked like a cavern in the Underdark. Nearly flawless.
Gale: Triple chocolate cake. Had a very ambitious idea to do three tiers, each with a different flavor batter, different filling... and time got away from him. His presentation was very sloppy, and as he frosted the cakes while they were still hot due to the time constraints, the frosting melted right off.
Halsin: Orange and thyme cake. A unique combination of sweet and savory, again using herbs he foraged himself. His decorations were incredibly detailed, and the cakes themselves had a very delicate texture.
Karlach: Carrot cake. Carrots are roots. Roots grow in the ground. Mushrooms grow in the ground. It works. Unfortunately carrot cake takes quite a long time to bake properly, and hers were still nearly liquid on the inside when she took them out of the oven. She salvaged what she could, but gave up on trying to make things pretty with two minutes left on the clock, and went to find the last of the gin and tonic from the signature round.
Lae'zel: Lemon elderflower cake. The lemon overpowered the elderflower and the cake was slightly overbaked, but her militant attention to detail made the rock candy decorations incredibly precise.
Medora: Mojito cake. It was far too boozy and the presentation was definitely lacking, but at least the cakes were baked properly.
Wyll: Strawberries and champagne cake. Apparently it's Boozy Bakes club this week, and he was a card-carrying member. A surprisingly delicate flavor, and beautifully balanced with the strawberries.
Our star baker this week with a total of 52/60 is Lae'zel!
And with a score of 24/60, Astarion is leaving the tent today.
So I hope y'all are okay with me taking some creative liberties with the bakes today. Suspend your disbelief. Except for the Tavuk Göğsü which is a real traditional Turkish dessert that honestly sounds super interesting to me. How can you put chicken in a dessert and not taste it. I gotta know.
Feel free to play along in the comments! How would your tav or favorite npc compare?
Omg we're halfway through! We've got dessert week next.
