#bg3 shitpost

[pencils-and-paperclips]

Gale would enjoy cream soda

Shadowheart would not

[nora-darling]

Okay, look-

The top of your desk is a completely normal place to keep a statue of your goddess/ex-lover in her slutty little outfit.

The fact that the chair is facing it at an angle where you have to look up at it is totally irrelevant.

So what, that there's a mysterious bottle right next to a pile of rags above an open book with a very obvious stain on the pages?

[grayoil]

Evangaleon

[lady-sapphyre]

Happy third birthday to hit video game Baldur’s Gate 3

[thecrookedanimator]

wake up in the middle of the night to this scampering at you at 7 mph

[raphael-balls-inspector]

hi Inspector! hope it doesn't sound too weird or anything but the way you write about Mephistopheles is literally comforting to me so would it be too much of me to ask if you could write something with him? maybe him comforting reader after a bad day? i'm so sorry i have not seen you say if you do requests or not, if not feel free to ignore this!! hope you're having a lovely day!<3

AWW this is genuinely one of the sweetest asks I've ever received, thank you so much!!!!🥹❤️

It doesn't sound weird at all! If anything, I'm really touched that my interpretation of Mephistopheles brings you comfort. That honestly means a lot to hear!!

Okay so it's maybe a bit shorter than expected, but it's after the read more!! I genuinely hope I did my interpretation of Mephistopheles justice!

As always, this is simply my personal take on his character! It may not line up with everyone's interpretation, but it's the version that's made itself at home in my brain so if you like peepaw Mephi, well there you go x'D

I hope you enjoy it, and I hope it brings you a little comfort too!

Pairing: Mephistopheles x reader (can be read as platonic, GN Reader)

(P.S. Don't ever apologise for asking! The worst I can say is that I don't have the time at the moment. I'd much rather people ask than worry they're being a bother. 🫶)

You had not meant to seek refuge in the House of Hope.

Not really.

It had simply happened.

One moment you had been wandering the halls with no real destination in mind, trying to outrun a day that seemed determined to follow you, and the next you had found yourself tucked away in one of the quieter libraries.

The fire burned low in the hearth, bathing the room in amber light. Shelves climbed almost to the ceiling, crowded with volumes whose spines had long since faded beneath centuries of careful handling. The scent of old parchment mingled pleasantly with cedarwood and the lingering fragrance of freshly brewed tea.

It should have been comforting.

Instead, you found yourself staring into your cup, watching the surface grow steadily colder. Your thoughts circled the same worries again and again until they blurred together into something shapeless, a heavy knot sitting stubbornly beneath your ribs.

You didn't hear the door open.

"You've been glaring at that tea for some time now, dearest."

The deep, measured voice drew you from your thoughts without startling you. Looking up, you found Mephistopheles standing in the doorway.

He was an imposing figure by anyone's standards. Tall enough that he seemed almost carved into the archway itself, broad shoulders wrapped in dark robes embroidered so subtly they caught the firelight only when he moved. His dark hair, darker than Raphael's and touched with distinguished silver at the temples, had slipped loose from where it had once been neatly tied, falling past his shoulders in soft waves. Half-moon spectacles rested low upon his nose, and beneath one arm he carried an enormous leather-bound tome that looked as though it weighed as much as you did.

For a long moment, he simply regarded you with quiet observation.

His gaze drifted from your untouched tea to the expression you had so unsuccessfully tried to compose before finally settling back on your face.

"It has been one of those days," he said.

It wasn't phrased as a question.

You let out a tired breath that almost resembled a laugh.

"...Is it that obvious?"

"I have lived for several millennia," he replied as he crossed the room at his usual unhurried pace. "Patterns become rather easy to recognise."

He set the book carefully upon a nearby table before turning his attention fully to you, deliberate, almost impossibly calm, as though the concept of rushing had simply ceased to exist somewhere around the second millennium of his life.

When he reached your chair, he paused.

"May I?"

Only then did you realise he was asking permission to touch you.

You nodded.

His hand came to rest lightly against your shoulder. It was astonishingly warm. Not possessive or insistent, never that with him, nor forcing you to accept the touch. He was reassuring, the broad weight of his palm grounding you in a way you hadn't realized you needed.

"You are holding yourself very tightly," he observed quietly.

You frowned. "Am I?"

"Mmh."

His thumb brushed once across the fabric over your shoulder before becoming still again.

"It is a remarkably common habit among people who have spent the entire day convincing themselves they are coping. You are carrying yourself as though the weight of several kingdoms has been placed upon your back."

"It feels like it."

"I do not doubt that."

There was no immediate attempt to contradict you. No insistence that things would improve. No well-meaning lecture about optimism.

Only acknowledgement, and that was kinder. After another quiet moment, he spoke again.

"Come here."

The words were spoken so naturally that your body obeyed before your mind had quite caught up.

He opened one arm and you stepped forward. The embrace that followed was gentle, more gentle than you had imagined.

Mephistopheles was enormous compared to you.

His arms settled around you with careful deliberation, drawing you against the solid warmth of his chest as though you were something precious rather than fragile. One broad hand came to rest between your shoulder blades, the other lightly against the back of your head.

There was no pressure forcing you closer. Only enough of it to let you know that if you wished to remain there, you could. His robes smelled faintly of old parchment, cedarwood, and black tea. Comfortingly familiar.

Your forehead rested somewhere beneath his collarbone. You became acutely aware of just how much taller he was.

"...There," he murmured. "Better?"

You gave the smallest nod.

"I thought as much."

His thumb traced one slow, absent-minded circle against your back. After a while, he spoke again.

"When one has lived as long as I have, one begins to recognise a peculiar habit shared by nearly everyone."

You looked up slightly.

"They apologise," he continued, "for becoming tired."

A pause.

"They apologise for becoming overwhelmed. They apologise for being human."

The corner of his mouth lifted into the faintest smile.

"I have never understood why."

You felt your eyes sting.

"I just..."

The words caught.

"I feel like I should have handled today better."

"And why is that, dearest?"

"I don't know."

"An honest answer. Good."

He inclined his head thoughtfully.

"You know, there is an unfortunate belief that strength is measured by how much one can endure before breaking."

His hand remained warm against your back.

"I have found the opposite to be true."

You frowned.

"The strongest individuals I have ever known were not those who never stumbled. They were the ones willing to admit when they required rest."

His gaze softened.

"There is no shame in reaching the limits of your strength."

"...Even if it's over something small?"

He looked genuinely puzzled.

"Who informed you it was small?"

You blinked. He continued before you could answer.

"A burden does not become lighter merely because another believes they could carry it."

The words settled somewhere deep inside you.

After a long silence, you let out a breath.

"I think I needed to hear that."

"I suspected as much."

Another small pause.

"I also suspect," he added, "that you have eaten very little today."

"... Perhaps."

"I see."

There wasn't the slightest trace of triumph in his voice, only calm certainty. He had expected exactly that answer from you.

"I believe," he said, smoothing a hand gently over your hair, "that we shall rectify that first."

"And then?"

"Then..."

He looked toward the crackling fireplace.

"...we shall make fresh tea."

His expression grew almost thoughtful.

"You may tell me about your day. You may tell me nothing at all. We might simply sit."

Another faint smile.

"I have always found silence to be considerably more companionable than people give it credit for."

You couldn't help smiling back. It was small and tired, but a genuine smile.

"There it is," he said quietly. "I was wondering where you'd misplaced that sweetest smile of yours, dearest."

You laughed.

This time, it didn't hurt.

He rested his forehead briefly against yours, warm as his hand cradled the side of your face.

"One difficult day," he murmured, "is not the measure of a life."

His other hand found yours, giving it one reassuring squeeze.

"Come, dearest."

The word was soft but never demanding.

"Let us begin with warm tea."

[raphael-balls-inspector]

Hi Balls! Bit of a random ask but would you be open to collaborating sometime?

Could be writing, art, silly Tumblr posts, worldbuilding or whatever sounds fun. Totally understand if you don't do collabs, just thought I'd ask because I love your work and also your "teeth porno" drabble here made me laugh and I love your writing!

Oh, absolutely! I would love to, feel free to reach out!

I genuinely love collaborating with people! Writing can already be such a fun hobby on its own, but seeing someone else's ideas bounce off yours and watching a project slowly grow is one of my favourite things!

So far I've mostly been collaborating with my lovely friend @melhyan! We're currently committing crimes against productivity by pairing artworks with writings! She's been working on illustrations of Lucien and Haarlep to accompany one of my fics (one of the two spicy arts, you saw the other on my dash LMAO), and she's also creating some absolutely GORGEOUS Kar'niss artwork to go alongside my Kar'niss/Halsin AO3 fic (that will be posted soon)!

I'd absolutely be open to other collaborations too! Writing, worldbuilding, fake documents, journals, letters, Tumblr shenanigans, character interactions, headcanons... honestly, if it sounds fun and we both click creatively, I'm always happy to chat about it!

No pressure either! Sometimes ideas stay as fun conversations, sometimes they turn into full projects, and sometimes they accidentally become 20,000 words because Raphael refused to leave the drafting room.

The Department of Collaborative Tomfoolery is always accepting applications. The paperwork is considerably less terrifying than Raphael's contracts. Probably!

[raphael-balls-inspector]

Is it okay to rp with you on Discord Balls?

Absolutely!

I'm always happy to RP on Discord (it's actually my preferred platform!), though Tumblr DMs are perfectly fine too if that's where you're more comfortable.

Since a few people have reached out recently, I've put together a little RP Guidelines page. Nothing scary or overly formal tbh, it just explains how I like to write, my reply pace, characters I play, boundaries, plotting style, and a few general expectations so we're all on the same page before we start. I find it saves everyone a lot of confusion!

✦ RP Guidelines: [link]

✦ Lucien's Character Sheets:

If you're interested in Lucien specifically, here are his references too:

✦ Lucien (SFW): [link] ✦ Lucien (NSFW) (I will only rp nsfw IF you are more than +18, blogs with no infos will be blocked): [link]

As soon as I get more/make more art of Lulu, I'll be sure to add them to the pages! (*stares at @melhyan 's spicy drawings of Lulu and Haarlep*)

✦ One Small Request:

Please avoid repeatedly pinging or nudging me if I haven't replied yet.

Even if it's daytime where I live (England, GMT+1), I may simply be away from my computer, busy with real life, or taking a break.

I promise I'm not ignoring you, I just like replying when I can give the conversation my full attention rather than rushing a response.

✦ Plotting & Brainstorming:

I'm a fairly structured planner.

It's completely okay if you don't know exactly what you want to write yet, we'll figure it out together!

The only thing I ask is that we try to build one idea at a time. When conversations jump rapidly between lots of different plots, prompts or character ideas or two rps at the same time, I can become overwhelmed and my brain sort of… blue screens. Instead of getting excited, I start feeling like I'm falling behind and honestly just want to close Discord, hide under a blanket, and literally drop the rp.

Please don't feel like you need to submit an application consisting of five OCs, twelve Google Docs, seventeen family trees and a PDF of the Forgotten Realms' political landscape.😭 One idea is genuinely enough to get us started. We can build the rest together! Throwing lots of unrelated lore, prompts and character sheets at me all at once tends to overwhelm me, and my poor little archivist brain starts filing everything into the wrong cabinets.

Please give the guidelines a quick read first! If you think our writing styles click afterward, I'd be delighted to chat and brainstorm something together.

RP should be fun for everyone involved, so I'd much rather make sure we're a good fit from the start than have either of us feel pressured later. Looking forward to hearing from you if everything sounds like your cup of tea!