#bg3 shitpost

[rielzero]

Bountiful Booty

Loki: *cupping a feel of the cheeks while hugging Astarion*

Astarion: Perusing my fine wares, dear?

Loki: Hmm.. Such a nice booty.

Astarion: Now- Don't spoil the goods!

Loki: But they're so firm. :( *squeeze*

Astarion: *amused chuckle*

[mauveulous]

Haarlep does not, in fact, like dogs.

Is it weird to upload horizontal videos here? Is it weird to upload videos at ALL here? Idk. Maybe.

I was creeped out by the loyal debtor my first playthrough, so someone else has to be, too. Haarlep reminds me of a cat, and what happens when a cat and a dog live under the same roof? Haarlep got to find out.

[raphael-balls-inspector]

i don't know who needs to hear this but if you're a writer, especially if you're into monsters, make yourself a spreadsheet.

i got tired of thinking "wait… have i already written this?" so i started cataloguing every creature trait, anatomy quirk, and weird little niche my brain could come up with. now i've accidentally turned it into a completionist challenge where every new fic is just me trying to tick another box. insect? ✓ arachnid? ✓ aquatic? ✓ infernal? ✓ wings? extra eyes? mandibles? oviposition? bizarre anatomy? batshit trope? one by one we're collecting them like achievements.

i'm trying to 100% complete the Monster Biology DLC.

[transkingcobra]

Getting set up to take some photos because I miss this game….plot twist Astarion does have spider climb I guess lmao

Then I start flipping through the poses and get hit with this

Boi what you doin 😂😭

[baldurdashe]

Lae'zel's romantic lines makes me think of that one spongebob scene.

[raphael-balls-inspector]

I think you would love my Baldur's gate server Balls!! Do you have a discord?

i used to! honestly i miss discord servers sometimes but my brain treats joining a new one like i'm walking into a party where everyone already knows each other and i'm the guy hovering near the chips

considering my url, being nervous socially sounds kinda stupid but somehow posting the most unhinged shit imaginable to thousands of strangers is easier on tumblr than saying "hi everyone" in a discord to me? but that's so cool you have a BG3 server!!

(also love that you're calling me Balls instead of the whole thing BAHAH)

[thecrookedanimator]

Tara could not have kittens because every time she tries to fall asleep, Gale's coming in like this and waking all the kids up

[baldurdashe]

I can't be the only one who noticed right?