Work in Progress
Goodnight Love: The Music of Ashley Ozark Henry
Dedicated to ALS Research and Awareness
A Short Story by Aaron Wience DRAFT: 1.4.4.1 posted Draft Pending 1.4.4.1: 8 additional pages, many corrections and inclusions.
NOT FINAL DRAFT Chapter 1: Doodling
1992, the sound of neon green wind breakers rubbing together is the music of four year old Ashley Henry. Laying stomach down on her mothers handiwork. A bed so perfectly pressed nothing tufts the covers until you tuck yourself in. Humming to herself she doodled tribal masks on simple stick figures, hitting drums, and chanting. Her right hand on her cheek clumsily holding up her head, rotating her wrist around against her chin, a display that looks otherwise uncomfortable, but for a girl just getting over being a toddler it seems to be just fine. Her hums, accompanied by the wisps of her pants and the feel of her wrist against her face was a symphony only the picture made partial sense of.
Ashley loved to doodle. As soon as she realized she could pick something up and change it, or change something else with it she did. The discovery was made when she realized she could draw in her food with her fingers. When she was a baby, it was more about picking stuff up and dropping it on the floor to see what it would do. Luckily for her parents Meredith and Anthony Ashley learned very quickly that if something breaks its simply gone. Her favorite cups fell from her highchair and seemed to disappear into pieces like a flower instantly blooming. Somehow at two years old she remembered that loss. It was two meals and two cups and crying that taught her quickly. Not scolding, although her mother felt it was.
When Ashley started to walk and run, she started to take things off of tables. It was a mixed blessing for her to have found her mothers lipstick. By some stroke of luck she took the cap off instinctively and began to run back and forth in the upstairs hallway between her bedroom and the bathroom, switching hands to continue the pattern. One line, two lines, three lines, she giggled and ran. Meredith was in the kitchen with Anthony making lunches for themselves.
“Can we do a thing where we don't do peanut butter at all, not even a snack for a week? I'm worried about it deadening her taste-buds.” said Anthony, as he packed away his share of the diced vegetables and sandwich pieces her and Meredith just prepared.
“When I see anything related to peanut allergies, or peanut poisoning, or anything like that in Readers Digest, or some other magazine, I'll let you know. But if she asks for it, I'm going to give her peanut butter.” said Meredith rather plainly. Thump thump thump, and giggling from the hallway.
“Ok love.”, said Anthony. They share a kiss. “I'll call you around 10 and let you know when I should be home. I don't imagine their being reason for me to stay late but if there is I should know by then.”
“Ok hun. Love you.”, said Meredith closing the door. She stood there and watched Anthony get into their 'Limousine' of an Oldsmobile and leave the driveway. She placed her arms at her sides for only a moment before a motherly gasp left her mouth as she realized the thumping and giggling stopped. “Ashley?” she said have sternly. Ashley answered with a hiccup of a giggle.
“Uh ohs! Mess mummy! Uh ohs.” Ashley said, showing her mother her red hands. The wall behind her said it all. Ashley's red teeth and forehead also told her some stories.
Luckily she never had another instance of flagrant domestic vandalism. Her father wished he could have seen more of what the wall looked like when he got home that day. He was a mechanical engineer who for his own reasons left a biomedical science scholarship to pursue his dreams of being an inventor. After Ashley was born Anthony stopped tinkering so much in spare time and just wanted to put in his time at work so he could go home to his family. A bright man, with a good job, that knew how to make a girl laugh and treat her right. Part of treating her right meant doing away with the stress of having been what Meredith felt was theft, or a rip off scam after Anthony had drafted and had the company he worked for implement a new mechanical system. Meredith never asked what it was, she was more concerned about Anthony drinking, crying, and complaining about people and situations she didn't understand, or really want to understand because it all sounded horrible. So he quit and quickly picked up work as an industrial engineer for a manufacturing infrastructure company that worked primarily in product pipeline automation, soda bottling machine maintenance, things of that sort. And he was happy and never had another reason to distress his wife.
Being a man of design and science he could see his daughter was only experimenting with her force of will, her ability to create and change the world around her. Meredith was apprehensive giving their daughter markers and pens, but Anthony protested,
“She's a quick learner and if we supply her with paper and drawing surfaces, she'll understand what to do with them.” so for her fourth birthday she received a few stacks of paper, art supplies, and some awesome neon pants.
From four to six years of age Ashley continued to draw, learning more complex words as she went to kindergarten and first and second grade. Well behaved, hungry to learn, quick to comprehend the real lessons life teaches. Such as, if you pull another girls hair because you want to look at it and touch it, she might turn around and pull yours and not like you very much afterward. Even after all apologies are given. Ashley hadn't anticipated Lorena would hold a grudge against her. She just felt really unfortunate for her that she did because Ashley thought she was interesting and pretty and worth talking to. Seeking conversation turned quickly in bullying. Lorena scolding her the way a child scolds another child. “I don't want to talk to youuuuu!” Lorena would say, shaking her head. “Leave me alone you're gross!” she'd shout. Other children would gawk and make Ashley uncomfortable. That uncomfortable feeling took some time to understand. That odd sense of another person being able to disrupt the way people think and feel about you. It hurt a lot more than the other kids thought it might. Ashley felt like anyone who was willing to play along with that horrible stuff was just being mean and it was difficult to tell which kids were actually mean or just playing along. It made her feel lost.
By Grade 4 Ashley was quickly becoming more socially reserved. She doodled and wrote a great deal. So much so her teachers felt it disruptive to her learning, even though her answers were more often then not correct, sound, and well explained. A very bright girl who unfortunately attuned to that sense of social disruption caused by others. Any public attention made her feel uncomfortable. She'd hang her head slightly down and avert her gaze with passive nuances that teachers found rude and other students found unpleasant. Furthering a decent into anti-social behavior.
Luckily that year she met Kerry. A girl from the other side of the class room who could see how uncomfortable she was sometimes. Kerry knew Ashley wasn't being rude, she didn't want the attention. “Hi I'm Kerry Fastener! I like buttons because my dad says they're just for us fasteners!” she said, holding out a hand that was slightly sticky from having eaten a few grapes.
“I'm..” Ashley looked up from her notebook at the curly haired and bouncing girl. Ashley was trying to look at the features of her face and the colours of her eyes but she kept moving around.
“You're Ashley Henry. I know that because Ms. Stolk always scolds you. But I know why she scolds you, its because you hold your face down and kind of bark at her like you don't want her near your fence. My puppy does that to people too. I know what that looks like. Can I sit with you?”, luckily for them both lunch time was a very busy time of day and the other kids were preoccupied with themselves. Had they not been and Kerry were teased, it may have changed both of their lives forever.
“Yeah you can sit with me.” Ashley hastily packed her notebook into her desk and took out her lunch. “Are we going to have lunch together?”
“I thought we were. Charmed.” Kerry said, holding out a hand covered in gloss and lint. “Sorry, I was eating grapes, do you like grapes? I chew the skin off, they look so neat inside.”
“I like grapes, but certain kinds upset my stomach. The big purple ones with seeds mostly.” Ashley began to snack on her veggies.
“What's that?!” Kerry pointed at Ashley's hand.
“Cantaloup. My mom read something and told me I have to eat it, it makes your hair look nice she says, so I'm eating it.”
“That's so neat, do you think it will fix my curls?” said Kerry.
“I'm not even sure she knows what she reads sometimes. In some of those same books there’s weird stuff and even weirder pictures.” Ashley said, having another piece of cantaloup.
“You say weird a lot, do you feel weird?” said Kerry.
“Only when I feel like people are being mean to me.”
“I just feel sad when that happens to me. I think being weird is better than being sad because from where I'm sitting you don't look sad, its confusing, and I like that.” Ashley snacked away on her lunch as Kerry talked away. That seemed to be how their friendship went for sometime.
Chapter 2: Sing me a song Ashley
Sale Your Ship, in big black letters on her Grade 6 binder made a lot of people ask Ashley what the hell her problem was. Most kids had band names, or crushes, or friendship notes. Ashley had what others felt was random garbage. With Kerry's companionship over the years they fostered new friendships with Pamela and Jeremy, both whom were also somewhat accidentally outcast like she was.
Sale Your Ship, became a tangential phrase her father said to her one night when she came home crying because Lorena put gum in her hair during gym class in Grade 5. He said,
“Silly little girls grow up into silly woman, and they stay silly for a long time. You my darling, you're the captain of a ship made by your own hand and they're only jealous because they can see you sailing it. Sail your ship sweetheart, and everything will be OK. It's only the sounds of the ocean when they say horrible things, they're just part of the water and the world of noise you're sailing past.”
Anthony hadn't anticipated he'd see 'SAIL YOUR SHIP' on her binder for school the next day, or every day after. But it was reassurance for him. At a young age he could see his daughter was fascinated with how she could change the world around her, and he wanted nothing more as a father to give the tools to do so, to her hearts content, to her dreams fulfillment, whatever those ends might be. And so accidentally on purpose it became a mantra of strength for her.
Ashley and her friends for most of Grade 6 placated the bullies when they arrived to tease them or test them. No one ever asked what the words on her binder meant, they were only repeated and scoffed at with remarks like, “That's stupid.”, “That isn't even anything.”, to them maybe and only because they didn't understand it.
Grade 7 was difficult for Ashley. Kerry's father passed away in a car accident that left her with a broken arm. Ashley didn't know how to cope with her friends grief except for holding her and crying with her, sometimes just out of feeling powerless for her. She wrote “Sail Your Ship” on her cast and put a big red and wonderful balloon heart in fourteen different colours with BFF4L, which were individually bubble lettered, with shine effects and all written in the middle.
Lorena was number two in a clique and thought it would be great to sneak something onto Kerry's cast, putting a black line near the balloon. Which lead to an altercation and a suspension for Lorena, whose grades started to fall due to her social subordinate preoccupation. Kerry showed Ashley who was just happy to see Lorena didn't figuratively pop her balloon. It was black sharpie however and no matter how much Ashley stared at it, she didn't know what else to do except put another line through it and make it an X. “Let's just cross her off. Right? What if every time she bothers us from now on we just say, “Goodbye Lorena.” it'll drive her nuts. She doesn't understand that besides the harm she causes she isn't anybody. Let's right her off the island.”
“Yeah!” Kerry agreed enthusiastically. “Oh my god, it'll drive her crazy!”
“You hope so?” Ashley said. Giddy they held each others hands and jumped up and down. Their plan was so brilliant.
Their plan was effective in upsetting Lorena. So much so it made her cry one day in front of her friends when she snapped something at the four of them in the hall. With Pamela and Jeremy saying, “Goodbye Lorena.” with Kerry and Ashley, it was just too much for her. She didn't understand what it meant and it began to upset her. Which appeared to demote her in her social group. Lorena began to work on her school work more and began to distance herself from others for a time. Until one day in the fall when her parents came to pick her up from school. They came to the classroom, spoke to the teacher, and with a cold confused face, she packed up her things, emptied her locker and was simply gone.
Some students believed Ashley, Kerry, Pamela, and Jeremy performed a hex on her and saying goodbye made her go away. Other kids believe she became pregnant and her parents removed her from school before she started to show. No one knows what happened. She just moved away. Her clique didn't have a reason either and without Lorena no longer had a reason to bug Ashley or her friends. It was just dealt with. When asked the teacher said, “Switched schools.” and that was the only answer given.
Grade 8, Grade 9, and Grade 10 were easy going years. The four of them started to write music together, song lyrics at least, and hum and sing melodies in the lobby area of their highschool. Sometimes they got teased but it was never really more than “Go back to band class!” or the like. Ashley felt the song she wrote dedicated to her mantra was really powerful, but Pamela although a very pleasant singer was more into trying to get them to hum and sing to what she felt was her music. Which caused some interpersonal issues for a time, but nothing they couldn't sort out over time. Jeremy had a bit of a floating crush on all three of them, and hanging out with a blonde, a curly haired brunette, and a red head kind of made him a sought after boy. The three girls were becoming young woman fairly quickly and sometimes encountered the odd flirtation, but none of them felt any of that was more important than their school work of 'The Boat' they called themselves. Ashley didn't much approve as the connotation was more or less that its HER boat she's sailing, although the lingering thought of her friends being simply crew was not very becoming of the respect she had of them. And it also would mean having to pull rank, the connotation of the boat concept was becoming exploded in the group and her song 'Sail Your Ship' although a favorite of Ashley's when Kerry sang it, didn't feel right coming from anyone else.
Sail Your Ship
Yeah, Today, Like any in the month,
Depending on the time of day, I might be able to say, We're always on the move, And everyone is always going,
Where are we going to? Impatient to be happy,
But never here. And never clear,
what we even wanted,
Or where we're even going. Yeah, Today, Like any in the month,
Depending on the time of day, I might be able to say,
It's untimely for a curfew,
a soul isn't yours to keep,
it's only here to hold you,
only here until you go to sleep. You can only try to lose in life,
if you already won just keeping pace.
Yeah, Today, Like any in the month,
Depending on the time of day, I might be able to say,
In dreams may heaven hold you,
may your friends in the light guide you,
there's no darkness that surrounds you,
when you let love surround your life.
Kerry had a special way to make that song come to life for her. Ashley felt like it was written for Kerry to sing every time she sang it, and they'd hug just because or high five, just if the word boat was said in public. And at the end of Grade 10, that's when it made sense. There is no rank with Kerry, she climbed aboard because she wanted to be there and she made it work when Ashley didn't feel like it could.
Chapter 3: The Show
Every year in highschool there was a talent show Grade 11 was the year Ashley needed Kerry to sing her song in front of the school. “There isn't anything we can't do together and if Jeremy or Pamela want to be apart of it, awesome, they can be, they should be.”
“Ashley, I'm fine singing this song with you, but in front of the entire school, I've never done anything like that.”
“So we practice Kerry. Let's work on it in free periods and I'm sure if we ask we can use the band room, even though neither of us take band.”
“I don't think they'll let us use the instruments. Each student pays a huge deposit so they can use the ones they're assigned to.” “There is an open drum set and a piano. They rotate people out to teach them rhythm under pressure and I'm sure Jeremy or Pamela could learn how to use a tambourine or something if they want to. Don't over think it. We have to do it this year.”
“Ashley, can we do the talent show next year.”
“No. I plan on doing something myself in the show next year.”
“Oh. I see.” Kerry said with puzzlement. “That, wow, actually, that sounds like an amazing idea. Could I do your hair for it?”
“Only if we do the show this year. You can do my hair and you can let me do your hair.” Ashley said plainly. To some it might sound like a negotiation but between them it was elucidation. Kerry was alight.
“Oh my god what do you want to do with my hair?!” exclaimed an excited Kerry.
“Sometimes I've never seen you do to it and I won't do it until the day of the show.”
Two months of hitting some simple piano cords when she could Ashley felt like she had a general idea how the song would go. Unfortunately it began to feel like a sound-alike to 'Imagine' because of the cord progression Ashley was working on. Slowing the pace of the piano cords helped, and getting Pamela and Jeremy to appreciate their roles with shakers and a tambourine went better than expected. Jeremy was also going to perform something on a bass guitar that he'd be borrowing from a friend for the show. Without a plan he was just going to go on stage and make some noise with it, good or bad, that was his plan and the girls thought it was pretty ballsy. Cleverly, he was going to schedule his set early on in the show as an ice breaker. He couldn't tell if it would turn out good or bad and the thrill of that concern seemed rather adventurous to the group, so they were all in for the idea. Not to mention it was an easy way to get back up on stage and look as mellow and into the music as possible with nothing more than what could be called a baby rattle. They all thought it was genius and even considered wearing costumes or stage makeup. Jeremy made it clear he was going to wear black eyeliner when playing the bass and gave assurances it would be washed off for their set. They agreed upon the terms and for another two months worked on their song to make sure it would come out just right.
April and the talent show showed up much more quickly than it seemed it would. And the four of them sweat for twenty days until the show. They sweat during the show, and Jeremy vomited before going up to do his piece, which somehow was better because of how distressed he appeared. Jeremy played a simple rhythm on the lowest string, that with accompaniment might have sounded like the backing for a song. A few people liked it enough to clap during the performance. Pamela watched him with her hands over her mouth with nothing but concern that Jeremy might feint or not want to go back on stage. Kerry was incredibly uncomfortable as she'd never had her hair straightened but trusted Ashley that it would add to the effects of the song. Kerry comforted Pamela, who soon held Kerry's hand which came resting to her shoulder. “He looks like he's having fun Pam.” she said, to which Pamela replied,
“Yeah he really does. But it also looks like he's in pain.” And the three of them watched with the entire school as Jeremy began to shred so hard that the gym just vibrated with nonsensical noises and tones which abruptly ended. The silence broke into applause and the three girls began to clap loudly. Jeremy then put his guitar down calmly and motioned the Principle back on stage to introduce the next act. Jeremy even clapped for him as he walked on stage, ushering in more clapping from the audience. He walked down the stage steps slowly and just as both feet touched the ground all three of the girls with big wide eyes looked at him with promise. “That was really something Jeremy.” Pamela said.
“Yeah.” Said Ashley. “Fucking wow dude, what was that?” asked Kerry.
“Girls please, sorry, I need to go to the washroom, wash my face and compose myself to get back up there. I want to live there, oh my god. I need a moment.” and with that Jeremy gave the girls a quick smelly hug and he was off.
“We're on in two acts, when Jay gets back it might be one.” said Kerry, “I'm so nervous.”
“Don't be. There is almost a thousand people including staff out there and only 50 or so signed up to be apart of this. This is what we want, this is something I know we can do and do well. So let's take some deep breaths together, warm up a bit, limber up, we got this.” Ashley said fairly composed. Already wiggling her arms around and saying LA-LA-LA-LA to herself. Pamela did a full body shake and made some nonsense 'Bbrrrtt!' noise, which made Kerry laugh which she was humming with her eyes closed.
“Hey girls, we good?” Jeremy said with a pant.
“Yes we are I think.” Kerry said sceptically and a bit shaken.
“I took my eyeliner off, did it work for the presentation?”
“Ha! Ha!” Pamela laughed, “Presentation.” she said as if the word itself was a joke. Ashley realized Pamela was nervous to shake her tambourine.
“Pam, would you be alright with maybe taking a shaker up with Jeremy instead. I don't want to throw this at you last minute but I didn't have time to ask if you wanted to have the both of you using shakers.” said Kerry. Ashley went beat red in her face. She was not anticipating any changes. “Ashley, I know its your song, but I really feel like if they both had shakers, and Pam, if you kept the same rhythm as if you had the tambourine..” Kerry trailed off looking at the three of them. “Yes, no?”
“Love it.” said Pamela.
“That sounds like a really awesome harmony kind of idea with the percussion, I love it. Let's do that.”
“That sounds like it will work actually.” Ashley said with vigor, realizing the shakers add to the depth of the melody and the interplay of varying rhythms dignified the idea of having two different people use the same instrument.
“Our next act is features Ashley Henry on piano, Jeremy Leland and Pamela Hicks on percussion, and Kerry Harmon singing vocals, performing for us “Sail Your Ship” written by Ashley Henry.”
“Yes! Yes! I'm so pumped!” Jeremy said.
“Holy shit holy shit holy shit.” said Pamela stepping forward to the stage, unknowingly leading the way for the others to follow. Jeremy stopped Pamela from walking up first.
“We should go on stage in the order we were introduced, and slowly get to our positions.” said Jeremy putting a hand out to Ashley and leading her toward the stage. “Hang on wait until its quite.”
“What Jeremy, why?” asked Ashley.
“For effect. Ok go go, sounds good out there.”, She made her way to the piano and sat down at the bench, moving it forward creating an echo of wood scratching. Ashley's ears were beat red, her face was nearly purple. She lifted the cover off the piano keys, when Jeremy and Pamela go to their positions. Kerry looked up at them and couldn't see Ashley behind the piano. Jeremy motioned for her to come on stage, and she lurched forward. Suddenly taking each step as if they were in a long tunnel. She walked up to the microphone and looked back and forth. She glanced back at Ashley and Ashley was just staring at the piano. Suddenly in Jeremy's voice, “One, two, three, four..”, and Ashley began to play. He closed his eyes and kept the beat with the shaker in his right hand. Pamela was to come in with her shaker shortly before the vocals and instinctively Jeremy put his left hand on her left shoulder and gave it a bit of a squeeze making her smile. She began to shimmy in the white noise for the vocals and when that C Major cord rang out, the song began. The entire school and staff watched and listened. Some classmates who had seen Ashley's notebook, and peers who had heard them talking about their song began to cry. There was mixed reactions but it went remarkably well. Kerry closed her eyes half way through because she didn't want to look back at her friends and mess them up. And when she opened them, the song was over and all she could see was applause, tears, and the audible hooping and hollering of their peers. She looked back at her friends, motioning them to come forward, they embraced, and bowed in unison. This is what they worked for.
The principle walked up onto the stage and before they could notice he said, “That was wonderful, how long have you guys been working on that?” he said, tilting the mic toward the group.
“About four months” all four said letting out a giggle.
“That was wonderful big round of applause for them.” without skipping a beat the principle turned and looked at the crowd and began again, “And our next act is..”
The four of them made their way to the back of the crowd to enjoy the rest of the show with their parents who showed up. Jeremy's brother and mother were there. He was punched and kissed almost simultaneously. Pamela hugged her mom and dad and cried in part as a catharsis of her hard work and in part to the fact she felt she looked stupid on stage. Ashley's mother was there who greeted her with,
“Well that was something!” Meredith shouted over the choppy piano styling of a Grade 9 nut cracker prince attempt on piano.
“Where's dad?” asked Ashley.
“Work again. Something breaks, he gets called.”
“I know how it is. Wish he could have seen us play.”
“Well the school is taping this whole thing and making it available in a few formats. It's 50 bucks, but we'll get it anyway for him.”
“Thanks for that.” Ashley said.
“You're welcome.” replied Meredith.
“I kind of want to go home and lay down.” said Ashley.
“Are you sure?”
“If we're getting this recorded, I'll watch the rest later. I just want to go home now.”
“Alright well, that's fine. I'll go pull up the car.” Meredith kissed Ashley on the forehead. “I'm proud of you honey, it was wonderful.
“I'm going home guys!” shouted Ashley toward her friends, with complete disregard for the current performer.
“Ok, talk to you later!” Pamela shouted, she was the closest in ear shot. After Ashley left Jeremy and Kerry went around looking for her, ultimately asking Pamela if she knew where Ashley went. “Went home with her mom, seemed tired or something.
Many students couldn't recognize Kerry with straight hair prompting a few of boys in the crowd to reintroduce themselves, even though she was introduced before going on stage which for her just made them appear unobservant and talentless for having not performed.
Chapter 4: Better Than Before
Ashley spent only two days before the upcoming talent show to write her song. Since the year previous Meredith and Anthony went online and picked up two pianos for free and had them both tuned for just under $1,000. Anthony refinished and stained them and Meredith painted them in bright colorful depictions of Van Gough's Stary Night with the assistance of Ashley. The shorter of the two pianos was left in a more natural wood finish. The Star and Walnut the family called them, were mutual gifts for Christmas following the talent show.
In the first week of school in Ashley's Grade 12 year, she woke up to a cramp in her right foot that persisted for the first month of school. What felt like at first as the repercussion of 'sleeping funny' slowly went from cramping pain to almost complete numbness in her toes in her right leg. She tried not to limp or make too much of a fuss about it but occasionally mentioned it to her parents.
Some nights Anthony would massage Ashley's feet while they sat and watched TV together. Meredith began to request more foot rubs as well, since he was giving them out and all. Meredith would scan over Ashley's homework, approve or make some final suggestions, Ashley would go to bed and implement the corrections, and Anthony would simply need only to remain seated for his 'next customer' he'd call it. Neither were quick to reciprocate and that was fine for him. Anthony preferred the stretch and scratch method of relaxation. Thanks to an alarming article in Readers Digest Meredith believed that the oil and lubricants used in Anthony's line of work were cause for his enjoyment of scratching.
“I don't have a rash anywhere, my skin isn't dry or cracking, and I'm not scrapping myself raw.”
“Yes honey but it says that you could be experiencing momentary localized irritation because you may have had some of those chemicals absorbed into your pours.” “Love, it isn't an issue for me, it is then also not a medical issue requiring attention, OK?” he said wiggling his sockless feet. Giving a nod, wink, and kiss toward Meredith.
“Is this you asking for payback for the weekly foot rubs you give us girls?”
“Not at all love. Just a suggestion and that's all that magazine is giving readers. It just unfortunately comes off like a cold fact that is universal for everyone, and that just isn't the case or I'd be all rusted like the tin man.”
“You're my tin man.” she said to him, placing her book at the coffee table leaning in for a kiss.
“These tin man hands have done us pretty good and they're pretty damn soft considering the work I do. You should appreciate them more.” he said holding his hands up for inspection.
“You have lovely hands and lovely skin.”
“Exactly. So don't let some book tell you I should have otherwise when I simply don't.” “Ok love.” Meredith said giving him a hasty kiss.
“Maybe we need a more detailed inspection.” he said, throwing his paper aside, turning off the TV and half chasing Meredith up the stairs. Ashley, sat awake in her room re-writing an English essay on Animal Farm. With her headphones in and her toes out of the covers, she was listening to CBC Radio enjoying another tale from Stuart Maclean. Ashley mechanically applied her corrections with precision and poise. Until her immaculate penmanship was sullied by a sudden hand cramp. She took a deep breath and waddled her arms about to limber up for the final stretch of the essay when she accidentally and quite forcibly threw her mechanical pencil. Luckily her whiteout was nearby so she could dab the misstep away. After having done so she looked about for her pencil. Taking her headphones out and throwing the covers off her legs she felt suddenly dizzy as she stood up and a pain shot up her leg. She looked down to find her pencil in her foot with a trickle of blood splayed out from the wound. She kicked her leg breaking the lead off, which she sat and removed with puzzlement. She rubbed her foot and examined the wound. Suddenly she felt very unwell and although the wound hadn't caused her any trouble the curious and odd sensation of waves of cramping pain shot up her leg. She slapped her calf and thigh and wiggled her legs about off the side of the bed. Maybe it was delirium, tunnel vision, having sat for too long in one position doing one task. These theories ran through her head as quick explanations but the sick feeling stopped her from returning to her essay.
The following morning she sat at the kitchen table completing her write up. Anthony was called into a product packaging back up which damaged a conveyer and auto-folder which supplied tape and applied the tape in the system. Being the master craftsman he was Anthony would receive work orders in the night and call and inquire or confirm he'd do the work whenever he received them and every morning there was something. Sometimes multiple somethings, which he would duplicate and put on the fridge “Just in case anyone was curious.” he'd say. If anyone was up he'd fix them up what he could in the time he had before he'd head out to his first job. Sometimes it was nothing more than pouring the girls some tea or a cup of coffee, maybe some snacks would be left prepared in a container for “Whoever is interested.” he'd say. On this particular morning however he left Ashley a glass of Milk with a note that said, “Drink this even if its warm by the time you get to it.”. Which was curious, thoughtful, and less desirable that cut carrots or kiwi with yogurt for breakfast. Long ago Ashley factored out that if she was a captain of her ship her father was the admiral for having appointed her her vessel.
“Did your father really leave you a glass of milk out this morning?” asked Meredith.
“Yepper.” Ashley said packing her paper away into her bag. “Can I take the car to school today? Pam and I want to go Glow Bowling after school, just because. This essay, this book really, has been such a bore. And instead of worrying about our grades I figured we should go do something to get our mind off of stuff.”
“Drink your milk.” Meredith said.
“Yes maam.” Ashley said with a salute and a giggle.
“Oh bugger off.” Meredith said. “The keys are in my purse, go ahead. I've got a four day weekend coming up and I plan on wearing my bathrobe until I don't want to.” she said, scuttling her butt around the kitchen.
“Mom, why?!” Ashley exclaimed reaching for the keys.
“You're welcome!” bellowed Meredith to the sound of a closing door.
It was a Thursday in February at 4:15pm when Ashley, Pamela, Kerry, and Jeremy packed into Ashley's mother car. Without any real inclination of going bowling at all. “It might happen.” the group communally surmised.
An hour into their evening cruise Ashley began to have cramps up her leg again which caused her to visibly strain and audibly hiss.
“Ahh fuck!.” she exclaimed. Pamela reached over and turned the music off.
“You OK? What's wrong?” she said with concern. The sounds of smacking lips ceased from the backseat.
“What's up?” asked Jeremy.
“Ashley, what's happening?” asked a pensive Kerry.
“I think I need to pull over guys. My leg is freaking killing me.”. They pulled into a parking lot down the road from the Booster Juice they had just visited and all four exited the vehicle.
“This is really concerning Ashley. You've been favoring that leg like a dog that got stepped on for awhile and if you're driving and suddenly unable to drive..” Pamela was immediately interrupted by Kerry,
“Jeremy can drive us home.” Kerry exclaimed somewhat nervously. “Let's just call it a night. We went for a drive, grabbed a drink..”
“But we didn't actually go bowling and I was actually hoping we would.” said an exacerbated Ashley.
“No outside food or drink allowed folks. It would be out of the question until our smoothies are gone.” Jeremy said, taking a gulp from the massive Styrofoam cup in his hand.
“I don't know guys just let me think. It'll pass it always does.” Ashley said patting down her leg. “Plus if she sees us pulling up she won't be pleased seeing someone else driving her car.”
They leaned against the car for fifteen minutes gulping their smoothies to a flowing conversation which went this way and that. “How are we doing on our beverages? Good to go?” Ashley asked.
“Yeah, I've been good to go for a bit.” said Jeremy, “Anyone else done I'll run your cups over.” he said, motioning his head toward a receptacle about a block away. The three of them handed over their cups as he collected them and dashed off.
“I can drive, you know I'm a good driver.” said Pamela.
“Yeah but I don't want to upset my mom or betray her trust and I think it's fine. I'm fine. It's all good.” Ashley said while climbing into the drivers seat. The two girls climbed in and they scuttled toward a lumbering Jeremy who for whatever reason ran to the trash can but decided to leisurely stroll when returning.
The car revved up as they headed toward him and then stopped with a skreetch.
“Wow, nice entrance.” Jeremy said, laughing slightly as he enter the vehicle.
“Pam, can you drive us home.” Ashley said without looking away from the steering wheel.
“Yeah no worries.” she said and without hesitation the car was placed in park and the two switched places.
“Pam, could you go maybe just 2 or three under the limit.” Kerry asked.
“I can do that. Hell, I'll go five under and we can switch the radio to smooth jazz, hows that sound?” Pamela retorted.
“I'm down for some Jazz.” said Jeremy.
“I'm not.” said Pamela, “I was not serious.”.
“Can we actually have the radio off and maybe go five under just because please.” asked Ashley.
“Ok.” Pamela nodded.
Kerry and Jeremy got out at his place and Pamela drove up to the block where Ashley lived. “Want to switch seats before we pull up?”
“I shouldn't drive Pam. I have to talk to my parents.” Ashley replied.
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
They pulled up to the double wide driveway where Pamela cranked the parking break into position and let out a mutual sigh between the two of them. Ashley just smirked a little glumly.
“Ash, this is serious at this point. What the hell is going on with you lately? You're basically hiding a limp and this evening had a hard time regulating pressure on the gas peddle. You need to see a doctor about your leg.”
“It isn't just my leg, I've been having pain in my pelvis too.”
“Jesus Ashley, the same leg, the same side?”
“Yeah. I accidentally stabbed my foot with a pencil the other night and I didn't even feel it. Which freaked me out, but my foot doesn't cause me any trouble anymore.”
“Wow, what the hell are you telling me? You stabbed your foot and didn't really feel it? That's not supposed to happen.”
“Well no, like, where the lead hit I didn't feel it, but taking it out I could feel my hand and the wound, it was just a really odd experience.”
“OK, well I'm getting out of the car until your mother sees us, and I'm hoping you'll talk to your parents about what happened tonight.”
“I kind of have to now. With Kerry's anxiety around driving, I can't put her at risk you know. That's why I let you drive. She was getting tense and I felt like I let her down.” Ashley spoke opening the door. Both car doors slammed and Ashley fell over crying.
“Ashley, oh my god. You're scaring me. Why did you fall over?” Pamela questioned.
“I'm really scared too. I don't know why this is happening.” she said, wiping tears from her eyes.
“I'm going to get your mom right now.”
“No its ok.” Ashley said collecting herself. Ashley began to limp to the door while trying to compose herself.
“Wow, OK, fuck your shit girl, I'm helping you inside and I'm telling them what happened.”
“Ok Pam.” Ashley said with fluttering lips.
Ashley unlocked the door and the two stepped in.
“Honey, we're home!”, bellowed Pamela.
“Oh my, and who might be home exactly?” said Meredith coming downstairs. Her pleasant decorum fell flast upon seeing the girls in the doorway. “What's going on? Are you hurt? Is the car fine?”
“The car is fine, but Ashley and I need to speak to you. Is Tony around? You might want to get him too.” Pamela said plainly.
“Ashley what's this about?” Meredith asked with both concern and puzzlement.
“I don't know Mom, but we just need to talk right now please.”, Ashley limped to the kitchen. “Love?! Could you come downstairs?” shouted Meredith. Followed by a set of thumps.
“Yes dear, how can I help yoo... Ashley?” he said.
“I'm fine Dad, just take a seat with us, somethings happened or is happening, I don't know and I'm freaking out and I freaked out Kerry in the car and”, Ashley began to sob.
“Pamela..” Meredith said leadingly.
“We didn't go bowling, the car is fine, I drove it here, I didn't need to say so but I am because something happened to Ashley when she was driving.”
“More cramps in your foot?” asked Anthony whose eyes glassed over slightly. “My whole leg Dad. I felt like I almost hit Jeremy with the car and I hit the break so hard I frightened Kerry.”. Meredith and Anthony exchanged the concerned glances that only parents could exchange.
“Jeremy is fine?” asked Meredith.
“Yes! I didn't actually hit him, I just hit the gas hard when the pain hit and I panicked and hit the break.”
“And that's what happened.” said Pamela, “I am going to get going because I really have no idea where I fit in the emotional family stuff. But what I can say is, her leg is bothering her more than she's saying, and she also mentioned a pain in her pelvis.”
“Thank you for driving her home Pamela. Much appreciated.” said Anthony.
“My pleasure.” Pamela said shooting a glance and a nod toward Meredith. “Another day.” Pamela said, looking down at the table as she stood up as if she was examining the events of the day all flayed out in front of her. “I'll let myself out and lock up. Take care.” and with that Pamela was off.
Chapter 5: Goodnight Love
“I can still swing a kettle bell, but I can't skrew a skrew, or button a button right now.” Ashley said. It was April and their family doctor didn't have any answers aside from suggesting physical therapy. It was their seventh weekly visit to the physio therapists office. Ashley was walking in crutches as her right leg began to consistently buckle under her by late March. Multiple Sclerosis was a consideration thrown at the Henry's immediately after the pencil story was told to their physician. Who quickly granted a referral to see a neurologist. Who, unfortunately left the Henry's in the dark for the most part regarding any hypothesis he had. The pamphlets Meredith took from the outings only served as fodder for her concern and anxiety which grew each time she read about a new disorder or condition. Anthony was taking fewer jobs so he could get home early and be there for Ashley and Meredith. “So yeah, kettle bells are fine, but if you want me to lace my shoe or button up a dress, it just takes too long and I don't like how it makes me hand feel.”. Ashley swung the kettle bell, did curl ups, held it over her head, strength seemed good but her right hand started to cramp up and she noticed a decline in the cleanliness of her penmanship and fine motor skills. At this point Ashley's frustrations had been overtaken by curiosity. She came to terms with the idea that just as she had adventured out to change the world, her body and mind would change the way she interacted within that world and for her she began to anticipate discomfort and her sense of patience grew in multitudes. She could feel whatever was happening to her wasn't getting any better and she reasoned out the tests were to mark her decline if anything else because strength training did jack squat for her.
“What else are we doing today?” asked Meredith, who insisted on being present for the therapy sessions.
“This is about it actually. We'll be giving the results to the neurologist and we'll see you next week.” he gave a smirk and moved a pen around on a few pieces of paper he was holding. Meredith made it all too clear she was leaning in to see what he was writing. It looked like squiggles on an anatomy chart of some kind. He flipped the page. “See you again.” he said smiling and nodding.
“OK well that's it then,” said Meredith and she turned toward a sweaty Ashley. “Want to grab a bite or anything?”
“Maybe a smoothie. Swinging that kettle bell around makes me feel hot and gross. I'm not even sure they wash it, makes my hand stink.”
“I'm sure that's more your hands fault than the equipment.”
“Yeah you know what else is my hands fault, having to type all my shit for school because I can't fucking write anymore and just the thought of scrawling that incomprehensible garbage on a piece of paper makes me want to rip off my own face.”
“Are you done being dramatic?”
“Well at least you can take my crap with a grain of salt mum. Because I'm getting pretty salty over this shit.”
“We are too honey.” said Meredith and she passed Ashley her sweater. “That sports bra looks good on you but I don't understand why you don't just leave a top on.”
“Mom, I get hot, I feel gross, there are ice packs here and stuff, it makes sense to me so that's why I do it.” she said zipping up her hoodie with her left hand. The two made their way to the door before Meredith asked,
“Did you ask him about favoring that side? I mean, did he tell you to use your hand as much as possible or anything?”
“Nope.” said Ashley, throwing her body against the door.
“Did he say anything?”
“Mom you were right there the whole time, it's a relatively small space and you're being silly. He wouldn't whisper suggestions in my ear when you're standing right there.”
“Just asking. Still up for a smoothie?”
“Of course. Why would I change my mind?”
“I don't know, but you could have.” Meredith protested unlocking the car.
“I don't want to make you feel subservient but I'd rather not deal with the hastle of going in to order. Can I get a very berry with a warrior booster?”
“Oh I'm sorry, can I take your order miss?” retorted Meredith who was checking her blind spots as they exited the parking lot.
“All the flavours at Booster Juice and you're choosing to be salty? Really?” the two had their laugh of half sarcastic chuckles, Ashley got her smoothie, and the two went home.
“Could you carry my drink in for me?” Ashley asked.
“Sure sweetie.” Meredith replied.
Upon entering the block they could see Anthony's van was in the driveway, 2pm, on a Tuesday very uncharacteristic of his work ethic despite his common 3 or 4 o'clock homecommings.
“Wow, Dad is home ridiculously early.” Said Ashley as they pulled up. Parking break up, Meredith motioned for Ashley's cup as she took a deep sip from it. “Ahhh. Refreshing.” she said while passing it to her mother. Ashley unlatched the car door with her right hand and shoved it open with her shoulder. Bracing her crutch under her arm she used it as leverage to hoist herself up and out of the car.
Inside they found Anthony sitting on the sofa with a stapled stack of paper in his hand and some crumpled up tissues beside him which he picked up and shoved in his pockets.
“Well if it isn't my lovely ladies.” he said jovially. Standing up to give them both a huge and a kiss. He rocked them back and forth in his arms a little bit causing Meredith to switch from comfort to concern. Looking up at Anthony she saw that he was grimacing with redness surrounding his eyes.
“Tony... what were you reading.” Meredith asked.
“Not much, not much. Mmhreghmm.” he said clearing his throat. He kissed Ashley on her head.
“I'm going to go do some reading.” she said kissing her fathers left breast and giving him another squeeze breathing into his denim jacket, that distinct Dad smell. He held onto Meredith and the two of them watched their daughter make her way up the stairs. Meredith looked back at Anthony who's face was obviously fighting back some pretty heavy emotions.
“Honey, are you OK? We're going to get through this. We just have to be strong for her.” she said putting her arms around him.
“Oh honey,” he sobbed wiping a tear from his face. “Take a seat with me and take a look at the fax I just got from the neurologist.”
“I do not like where this is going.” she said angerly. “You're being this way as soon as we get into the house is not very good for team moral and now you have me worried and upset without even knowing why, so tell me what the hell it is.”
“I can't honey. I don't even know. I took it with me to work and read a little bit of it, barely did two jobs, left my apprentice to clean up. I've been staring at it and trying not to star at it since I left for work this morning. Just sit down and read it and please say nothing to me until you have. And I'm sorry for my reaction, but I'm going to continue reacting the entire time you're reading and especially when you stop. When you've gone over the whole thing say nothing please, just take a moment. I took hours today with it and I still don't know what to say.”
Dear, MR., MS., Henry
FROM THE OFFICES OF DR. J. BARNES Office 244: South Alpine Neurological Institute and Hospital
Please be advised that the following material is being provided for you pending further medical testing and examination to confirm the following diagnosis of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) for Ashley. Our recommendation is that you call the office immediately after having read the material. Our hope is that Ashley will continue to benefit from your love and support as we strive to deliver the best of care. It means so much to have parental support. You can continue to help Ashley through the upcoming testing phase by encouraging her that when the testing phase is complete, there will no longer be any testing required and physiotherapy may be continued as long as you would like.
ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis), also known as Lou Gehrig's disease, is a fatal disease of the nervous system, characterized by progressive muscle weakness resulting in paralysis. When motor neurons gradually degenerate and die, the muscles no longer receive nerve impulse signals from the brain or spial cord. As a result of the nerve death, the muscles shrink until atrophied resulting in paralysis. Unfortunately as of yet the medical community is yet unable to find the possible cause for ALS. It is suggested that Ashley begin taking Rilutek as soon as a diagnosis is confirmed. Rilutek has shown promise and inhibiting the production of Glutimate which research has shown may choke nerves over time.
Please be advised confirmation of ALS diagnosis may only be confirmed at your next appointment at which time we will have a comprehensive treatment plan awaiting your aproval.
Please read the included information sheets and remove the authorized prescription for Rilutek which is to be filled after your next appointment. Another prescription may be given upon request.
It is important to be supportive as Ashley is enduring a great deal of trauma and your strength in this time may invariably be of benefit to her. Please contact the office at your earliest convenience.
“What the fuck is this Anthony?!” exclaimed Meredith. “I think it's a medical request not to discuss this with our daughter until accompanied by a neurologist.”
“They think she has fucking Lou Gehrigs disease? Do you know who that is?” exclaimed Meredith.
“Yes I do love. And we can't breath a word of this to Ashley. All we can do is call the office in the morning and go from there”
“Go from where, from almost nowhere to absolute hell? This says its fatal. They're bracing us for our impending loss. We're going to lose our daughter.”
The two of them sat up most of the night. Sometimes holding each other. Sometimes sobbing alone at opposite ends of the couch. Leading them back into each others arms. They poured themselves a glass of liqueur at 2am and another at 3. At which point Anthony took their glasses and Meredith took the partially crumpled pamphlet in hand to bed.
The following morning Anthony was up at sunset. He didn't check his office fax or do much else other than tell his apprentice where his first job of the day was and that he'd probably be doing the work alone. “Do the work but not too quickly, if you complete quickly call for another, this one is mostly tube and filter replacement, the next will probably be a little more intensive but if you think you can handle it I won't hesitate to trust you with the work.” he sipped his coffee and hung up staring out the kitchen window.
Three hours later Meredith joined him for a hug, kiss, and cup of coffee. “Nothing has even really happened yet has it.”
“No love.” he said taking a sip. “I don't think we can do much more than listen to the instructions given to us.”
“I already feel like shit.” Meredith said groggy.
“Well, we were up until almost four on three cups of booze between us. We can blame the booze today.”
“I like that idea.”
The two of them sat in their robes waiting for Ashley to come downstairs for breakfast. When it had dawned on Anthony that maybe he should cook breakfast. “Nothing has happened yet, so we act like nothing has happened. Let's make a good breakfast and call the neurologist's office.”
“That's a plan.” said Meredith.
Ashley was greeted with all kind of wonderful smells when she let out her morning yawn. The smell invited her downstairs with the expedience of impending french toast and some kind of fried food yet to be identified.
“Holy!” she exclaimed entering the kitchen. “I'm sorry, are we having Christmas breakfast or something, what's with all the fixings today? It's Wednesday, what the hell is so special about today?”
“All these flavours and you're choosing to be salty?” said Meredith, making Anthony laugh deeply.
“That's a great line.” he said.
“I picked it up at school and used it on mom after physio yesterday.” “Well it works, except I think the flavor of one or two things might be salt.
“The hashbrowns.” said Meredith with a mouthful of them.
“I made you up a plate love. You also have orange juice and milk in front of you here. I'd recommend Orange juice with the salty fried stuff, and then milk with your french toast, but as you like.”
“I appreciate the effort guys but you both look haggard. Is it really worth the effort? This is like two hours of work right here.”
“Yeah but it could also be lunch. Cold french toast is nice as a snack. I did a double yolk recipe so they're pretty heavy. Also you're not going to school today.”
“I'm lucky enough to juggle my free periods with appointments and stuff, keep up with the work, and maintain a social life. Like hell I'm not going to school.”
“There's another appointment today.” said Meredith.
“In about two and a half hours. So, enjoy your breakfast, I ate, your mothers still eating, I'm going to go take a shower and have lay down before we go.” Anthony gave Ashley and Meredith a kiss on the top of their heads and went upstairs with a fresh cup of coffee in hand.
“Leave us some hot water please! Or which ever of us gets to go third today. Dad will come home from work and shower for like forty minutes and if I'm just out of physio”,
“Do you want to continue going to physio?”
“Is that an option now?”
“Its an option.”
“Well I mean, maybe a bit. I don't know.”
“That's fine, you can decide later.” Meredith cleared her plate and poured herself another cup of coffee. “Would you like some?”
“That depends, how long is my day going to be? Am I going to school at all? This seems ill planned and almost celebratory or something.”
“Oh no, no it isn't. We were just both up early enough to put some extra effort. I mean, potentially we could do this everyday but I can't eat like this every morning. I'm uncomfortably stuffed. You're father's right about the french toast by the way. I took one piece too many and I only took two.”
“Noted.” Ashley stabbed a piece of toast from her plate and replaced it on the stack.
The appointment came and the Henry's were directed to a family room they hadn't been in before. There were candies and tissues on the table and spider plants in the window siles. Anthony was looking out of the window, Meredith was siting poised on the green sofa too small for three people. She placed her arm around Ashley and was about to make a comment when the door opened.
“Hello I'm Dr. Daniels, nice to meet you all.” the man said placing a file on his desk. He shook everyone's hand and asked Anthony take a seat in one of the two chairs. “Just go ahead and pull it up”, Athony was moving forward with the chair underneath himself when Daniels spoke.
“I thought we were seeing Barnes again.”
“Unfortunately he's with another patient. So Ashley, how have you been?” “I would describe how I'm doing as gimpy but not defeated.”
“Gimpy but not defeated.” Daniels reiterated. “So, Ashley the reason you are here today is because we believe we've found the possible cause for the progressive weakness you're experiencing.”
“It isn't MS right?” she said plain faced.
“No, it isn't MS. Unfortunately however the symptoms you're experiencing are alike to another neurological disorder called ALS. Today, we believe we can make that diagnosis by charting the progression of the disease.” Anthony and Meredith both reached into their pockets and pulled out tissues almost simultaneously. “Ashley, I'm afraid there is no cure for ALS and its progressive.”
“Oh god.” Ashley said welling up. “You mean this isn't going to stop, it's just going to take control of my body away. And it isn't going to stop?”
“I'm afraid so. Given how far along you are and given the somewhat unpredictable nature of the disease you will be immediately given all urgent care needs and there is a treatment plan thats”
“Treatment plan, for something that's going to take my body away from me. And so what, you're going to give me a hospital bed in my room and a wheelchair?” Ashley took several tissues from the table and held her face in the mass of paper. “Ok so, my right leg is going to get worse, my right arm is going to get worse, and then what?” she said muffled by the tissue.
“As I've said ALS is unpredictable. What causes it and the areas of the body it may effect is unknown currently but what is known is that it is almost absolutely fatal. I'm sorry but given the current degeneration of your muscle and nature of the disease we believe you may have a year before you'll require respiratory assistance. At which time if you take Rilutek as directed, you may have two to three years from today.”. Anthony fell from his chair and put his arms around Ashley and her mother did the same. “I'm so sorry. I assure you however we will be doing everything we possibly can to make you as comfortable as possible.”.
“Until it kills me.” said Ashley.
“I'm sorry, yes.”
“Oh.” she said. Ashley raised her arms and stood up on her good leg and hopped to the window. “Wow.”, Meredith and Anthony sat up and held each other with tissues to their faces. “I have a talent show I wanted to be apart of, graduation, university, fucking marriage, having my own apartment.” “Honey..” Anthony said reaching out to her.
“No Dad. I'm seventeen. Who the hell has been driving my boat if I haven't? Sail my ship Dad, right? Right into the fucking rocks.” Ashley slumped to the ground keeping her wrists and hands on the windowsill.
“We're going to be here with you every step of the way.” Meredith spoke in a shaking cracking tone, “Your father will be, and so will any medical professionals who can help.”
“But that's just it, I'm being told there is no help. There is no hope even. Whether you are all here or not, I soon won't be, and even sooner I'm going to be trapped.”. Ashley could hear the shuffling of paper.
“This is some information about what to expect, it also includes a treatment guide so you'll be aware of what will be happening as the disease progresses. Again, I'm very sorry, and if you have any questions be sure to call the office. Excuse me.”
And with the closing of three doors and the opening of two, they were back home sitting in the living room as if paused. “How am I going to explain this to my friends? What's the point of even going on with business as usual if its futile anyway?”
“Ashley, would you prefer a boat analogy or just plain words?” asked a bereft father.
“Plain English please.” she said blowing her nose.
“Life is unpredictable.”
“Sage advice pops.” she scoffed.
“This news is going to be difficult for anyone who hears it. We need to appreciate the time that we have.” -- NOT FINAL DRAFT I can be contacted through @Bibbly53 on Twitter