#big ass bug

[basedandbirdpilled]

wtf is this thang

[mausymall-w]

!!! BIG ASS BUG TRIGGER WARNING !!!

So i finally made a phm eridian oc. Its got a big ass bug so if my formatting is right i’d advise being cautious if you’re scared of bugssss

His name is. Cretace. Okay. Thank you random discord user.

[transgenderbuffoonery]

i love the dispo the guy at the front desk complimented my shirt so i told him it’s steven rhodes art and he was like ooh i’m gonna get one for my gf then they do a wheel spin thing and he gave me a better deal than what i got🙂‍↕️

then the guy actually checking me out walked all the way around the counter to hand me my bag rather than just passing it over the counter and he waited to hold the door open for me as i was leaving i think he’s in love with me🫦

[v7lgar]

no caption

[headspacedad]

excitement time

so - how many of you don't watch your feet when you walk around inside your house? And how many of you go barefoot in the same conditions? I want you to remember your answer.

Because this morning I got up and wandered into the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and looked, naturally, back the way I'd just come. Now, my eyes aren't the best when I first wake up and I thought to myself: 'self, that is one big ass piece of fabric lying there in the doorway you just came through'. Because Sam, you see, likes to chew fabric and so I'm used to small pieces of it scattered everywhere thanks to his hole-punch jaws. But this - this was big for a Sammy scrap of fabric and it was -

pointy.

Lots of pointy in fact.

'There is no way' I thought, still seated, 'that that is a spider. It's not round enough.

But it sure as hell looks like a spider with those legs.'

I'm from Florida. In Florida we get Bugs. There's a lot I can deal with. Not happily but I can deal. Careful, I lean forward a little bit and squint and yeah - that's not spider.

Also yes, it is Very Definitely A Bug.

A golf-ball sized bug

before you added the legs.

Well by now I'm not happy, very carefully getting some pants on, not looking away from it. It hasn't moved and its sitting there in the middle of the floor so I'm thinking its dead (bugs have a weird habit of crawling out into the middle of my floor in this current place I'm staying before they die). That thought - I have lived a long life upon this earth and I am not about to get stupid now when it comes to a giant bug I don't recognize that might be dead but might not.

Briefly, probably longer than I should, I consider attempting to clear the doorway the bug is blocking to get my cell phone to take a picture because 'holy shit, I need a record of this thing, mostly to share with friends to gross/creep out but also, perhaps, to identify it later'. Luckily, my non-social media side of my brain kicks in and points out that just because its not moving now doesn't mean it won't be moving soon and if I take my eyes of this thing and it disappears I'm going to have to take my rabbit, put him in my car, and then lose my security deposit because I'm going to have to burn the entire trailer to the ground.

I find a nearby box of hair dye and carefully position myself in my well honed 'cockroaches always run just as the box drops' position which means I'm ready to immediately leap onto the toilet lid. I slam it down. The bug is crushed underneath the box!!

But is he really? Because its a box of hair dye, not a book. There are a lot of light things in a box of hair dye, it doesn't have a lot of solid weight behind it. I do the grind and twist method with it. Then I very carefully lift an edge, ready to retreat to the sink top this time. The bug is dead! Very squished and very dead. I am triumphant!

I still have no idea what the bug was.

Taking my sister's advice, I type "Big ass North Carolina bug" into the search engine of my laptop and hit images. I regret hitting 'images'. I persist. And there! There it IS! Sure enough - it is, indeed, a big ass NC bug'.

It's a Camel Cricket.

I'm going to put it under a read more because I love you, dear followers and potential stranger.

That was what was in the doorway of my bathroom. That I did not see, as I walked with my bare feet into the bathroom. Somehow some guardian angel somewhere, caught my foot just enough to have me step over this thing and settle down, soles of my feet unmolested.

I also feel I should point down that, last night, before the BAB was found in the bathroom, Sam, sleeping under the covers of the bed with me, woke me up thumping. I reached down, patted his head and then eventually moved him when he kept thumping at me. He went back to sleep. I went back to sleep. The night was very dark.

For my own sanity, I chose to think Sam was thumping, something he never does, for an entirely unrelated reason.

[unclejager]

WTF is this thing?

[moonsandloons]

hit guy ever traffic the traffic cone….golly I sure do know the

Phighting

— Silly

My honest reaction to that information

Fuck I love this image so much I have like three of these in my gallery

[coreywolf]

some srretch practice with the bug