who's the guy on your header and why is he holding a pigeon
Let's talk about the guy on my header and why he's holding a pigeon. Can we talk about the guy on my header and why he is holding a pigeon please, dash? I've been dying to talk about the guy on my header and why he's holding a pigeon all day.
With that.... welcome to cockmojo and today we are going to count down the ten reasons we cannot get enough of that guy on my header and why he's holding a pigeon, Duncan Ferguson.
10) Little Boy'd The Entire Prem
Here at cockmojo we don't give one shit two shits red shit blue shits about what pundits have to say (minus Micah WHO IS SO SMART AND SO SEXY) But we are journalists. And check any source ..... he is Football's hard man. My bedroom KNOWS. Former players make their living telling stories about Big Duncan Ferguson. He is So Kind.
9) Big Duncelloti
A Jack Russell Terrior standing on top of a minute pony. A chimpanzee and a duck cuddled close together. A squirrel feeding a small kitten. Carlo Ancelotti and Big Dunc managing Everton Football Club. Duncan Ferguson invented Loving To Watch Them Lose. It is with a certain hint of melancholy that cockmojo reports that Carlo even offered Dunc a spot on his staff at Madrid. Dunc is too busy rebuilding Inverness Caledonian Thistle FC ... this space? Watch it. Still they are good friends, text each other, and even vacation together.
8) Get Your Finger Out and Get They Fucking Results
Some Evertonian was doing not great in his photography class and got Big Dunc (cameo who?) and got him to send this personalized video with Goodison as the backdrop. Even my non football beloveds have found themselves being moved by this footage.
7) When Our Rovers Were Forest Green
When Duncan Ferguson was appointed manager of HYFG (hell yeah Forest Green) everyone who was everyone was upping the vegans. Cockmojo even recieved reports that Big Dunc's other half was removed from the premises for trying to smuggle in cheeseburgers. Duncan's stint in league one or whatever forced those of us at cockmojo to genuinely ask the question... can plant-based players even... ball? It turned out that the club was a flop and I know they're reading this cause they are the most online club ever... but it did give us environmentalist Duncan Ferguson promoting these vegan croissants. He might not have managed to save the amazon but he saved us from ennui here at cockmojo.com
6) BDFY (Big Dunc Fashion Week)
His streetwear especially to and from court (which reminds me I should probably touch upon that) went NUTSSSSSSSS.
5) When Two Men Broke Into His Home and He Beat One So Bad He Then Had To Bring The Robber Back to Life
Him being the most mad because he thought he was one of the lads... what were they doing breaking into his house?
4) Shadow boxing the virtual mascot. "Do you know who this is?" *puts his dukes up*
3) His interaction with other cocks (past... present... it still happened and was valid and sexy
His wee shneaky feeling about Richarlison circa World Cup (22?????). His love for Mbappe (I can't find the video) praise from Micah Richards in a way that is so sensual to me. Also late edition I watched this religiously without even knowing who Dunc was and still wanted him mhmmm.
2) Natural Born Gaffer
If we at cockmojo can be so deadass ... i literally wanna repost the picture of what he said because it is that serious. (The picture being I'm 90 percent sure is a screenshot of what I transcribed in google docs of what he said on that boxer's podcast.) But I couldn't have said it better myself you literally have to be obsessed with what you're doing when you're a teacher/gaffer (the later CJBOL how would I know but still.)
1) And this brings us to our final and number one moment here at cockmojo: Why Is He Holding a Pigeon?
He's always grown up around animals, pigeons, greyhounds, ferrets (idk how to do that thing where you cross out the word but if I did I'd do it to the word ferret) it calms him. He loves nature. He has them to this day. He loves nature and it's really quite peaceful and loving.
