#big exhale

[ghosttopiary]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

im in Mashwood hell now! does a bisexual little jig that pisses u off

[minty-bubblegum]

I have no memory of this what how did this happen what did I message u

*inhales deeply as I'm about to tell you your bedtime story, a fairytale by the seems of it.*

SOOOOO.

It was mid July, and I was in Walmart with my mother getting groceries. Me and Scar had been talking in the GC already, when you suddenly popped up

"I ate doves cat"

And I proceed to check my Tumblr, something I had rarely done (at the time, I only used this platform as a place to only read fanfiction, and to keep up with twst news) and I see the mass chaos...

I proceed to make my first moot, Dusky that fateful week! I made my first real post, and now I have an addiction

[bodhimcbodeface]

Me: Fuuuuuuck, my front tooth just came out. I thought this only happened to me in dreams.

Me: ...wait a second

*starts acting extremely inappropriately in public to see if people notice*

Me: Oh good, it’s a dream

[kingmagician]

this bit must be different for everyone.

at least, quentin hopes so. the train that pulls up on the platform feels like it’s his. he can’t really put his finger on why - maybe it’s how clearly it’s signposted, eliminating any chance he could have for anxiety about taking the right train. despite every fraught, tugging feeling in quentin’s chest, he feels calm when the doors slide open and promise a comfortable, quiet, first-class experience. 

he just has to swipe the metro card before he gets on. that’s all.

only -

“ uhh. um. i don’t know if i want to go. ”

he looks back over his shoulder. shit. the doorway is gone. penny is gone. he’s talking to nobody, stood uselessly on a train platform, clutching his free pass to the other side of the underworld. he knows his friends will - be fine without him. penny told him. they don’t really need him, they, maybe they cared about him but they don’t need him. there are bigger things in the world. there’s bigger magic happening. 

panic rises in his throat like bile.

“ i don’t want to go — ? ”

maybe they don’t - need him but - if this is the other side of killing himself then — he doesn’t want it, he doesn’t want this to be the attempt that worked, he doesn’t want to go forever without — without holding julia’s hand, without being near eliot, without margo giving him shit and penny and kady looking at him like he’s fucking nuts half the time, without alice and her - weirdly fervent belief that quentin’s not that bad.

he is, though. he is, he left them. quentin grips the card so hard that its edges dig into his skin but it doesn’t hurt at all and his chest gets tighter and he cries harder, stood on the spot, because whoever runs this station won’t let it hurt, and they won’t let him have a door back to his friends, and - he balls his fists and presses them into his eyes. “ shit. shit, shit, shit — i want to go back — ”

“ it’s alright, quentin. ”

he uncovers his eyes.

there’s an attendant standing in front of the train. she must’ve got off whilst quentin was crying. they have - the kindest face he’s ever seen. “ hi. um. ” he swallows. “ i didn’t think this was the sort of train that has attendants. ”

“ well, normally not. ” she beams brightly. “ it’s okay. we know when someone needs a little help. ”

oh. “ can you take me back ? up there ? i need to help - i promised eliot i was going to see him. i promised - and - there’s so much, that’s going to happen, and they don’t need me, but i need to be there for, all of them - ”

“ you’re right, quentin. they don’t need you. ”

he blinks. the shock is sharp enough to stop him from crying. so there’s that. “ w- what the fuck ? ”

the attendant is very - placid. gentle. calming, even. she takes the hand that quentin is holding onto the metrocard with, and unfolds his fingers around it. “ you must move on, quentin coldwater. your friends will be fine without you, and you will be fine without them. ” she turns the metrocard and lays it flat in quentin’s palm, and then lays her palm over his. “ you don’t have to be afraid anymore. ”

and he isn’t afraid anymore.

“ you don’t have to worry about them. ”

and he stops worrying. the motivation to look after them leaves him.

“ they are better off without you. and you are better off here. ”

he feels better. hollow, though, like he didn’t give up his feelings so much as have them scraped out of them, and he wants - needs to ask - why she’s doing this to him, why he isn’t allowed to feel those things, but - she guides him to the scanner. helps him put the metrocard through. and smiles so soft, and so sweet, that quentin can’t remember why his cheeks are so damp to begin with. “ there you are, ” she coos. “ now on you pop. off we go. ”

when he steps on the train the hollowness leaves him, too.

he doesn’t remember anything by the time he reaches his destination.

[bi-snark]

Inquisitor - Hippolyta Adaar

Marjorie Hawke Neria Surana 

Finished set (click through to make pretty, etc. etc.)

[gastromancer]

time to start Posting all my year old drafts.

[sanctusingenium]

23 May 2025 1:20pm

my baby just got discharged from the hospital 🥹 not to brag, people, but I’m almost certain I did something there… the guy was dying yo

[rueclfer]

yummy ass theme MMM

BRUV THANK YOU i aged like 15 years making ✊🏼✊🏼✊🏼✊🏼✊🏼✊🏼✊🏼