natty: i probably should have been paying more attention, but koj was on a mission. somehow ate a fuckton of mac & cheese in the span of 2 hours and gained so much weight i thought she was going to bust out of her clothes. had to start working out with sarah, then spent the rest of the night stargazing.
koj: wrote some bitch's biography, befriended seb stan only to find out that in the time it took me to switch from one active household to the other, he got into a serious relationship with some bitch named molly. this put a damper in koj's lifetime goal, golddigger, which is to marry rich and then outlive/kill husband to inherit his fortune. naturally, koj had no options but to befriend molly, invite her to live with them, have her go swimming, build a wall around the pool...and watch her drown. everyone else cried about the loss of a roommate while koj kept on writing her book and conveniently inherited all of molly's possessions. molly's tombstone reads "bitch shoulda stayed away from my man..." now koj and seb are dating. she proposed, but he politely turned her down. maybe it's too soon or maybe she'll just have to move on to celebrity no. 2, jack white. i'll give it a couple days. in the meantime, she's been commissioned, by me of all people, to write a sci-fi novel...