While we're at pet ideas, some more rare pair hell-
Anti and Host would have an owl! Host likes to let it sit on his shoulder as he writes, the gentle hoos calming him, and Anti enjoys starting staring contests with it
In your story Bim and Ed had bunnies as well as many other animals on the farm, I feel like Bim wouldn't be able to resist not taking at least one back home, and Ed wouldn't be able to say no to him
Wilford and Anti would definitely have some bright and colorful pet, like love birds- it could be like that popular post about a love bird and his goth gf
Phantom secretly being worried that Illinois will get tired of him and move on to one of the literal hundreds of others that have fallen in love with Illinois' charms.
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Phantom chewed his lips raw from where he stood, leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen, watching as Illinois talked to Bim. He didn’t like this strange tugging in his chest that kept getting stronger the longer he stayed there. Phantom didn’t get it, he didn’t understand these questions running through his head and making it impossible to actually listen to what was being said.
Why was Bim laughing like that? What’s with the blush? Why did he keep looking at Illinois’ lips? Why...oh.
Another one fell into the trap that was Illinois’ charm. His sincere kindness, the deep chuckle that could distract anyone, the way he held himself strong and proud. Bim had fallen and something inside of Phantom made him hate it.
Bim was a lot nicer than Phantom was, a lot more vocal about how he was feeling and others knew why and when he was upset, something that Phantom kept hidden. Bim also actually had some muscle to him while Phantom was just a stick. A boney mess that could cut someone with his elbows. Bim was also an Iplier. He understood what it was like to be one and how they functioned. He’s been around longer and could help Illinois while Phantom just…
“Speaking of beautiful things!” Illinois’ laughed pulled Phantom out of his thoughts.
“Don’t-” Phantom stopped his scold. It didn’t feel right anymore.
“What’s wrong?” Illinois went over to Phantom. “You usually tell me not to call you that.”
“It’s nothing,” Phantom muttered.
“Really?” Illinois pulled Phantom in and pressed a kiss against his lips. Phantom placed a hand on Illinois’ chest and pushed lightly to part the kiss. Phantom caught eyes with Bim and he looked away. “Are you being shy? Something has to be wrong.”
“I’ll let you two talk in peace. Thanks again, Illinois. If it works you’ll be the first to know.” Bim gave Illinois a smile before walking away.
“If what will work?” Phantom asked, stepping out of Illinois’ hold.
“Bim’s got a little crush on ol’ Edgar and he wanted some flirting advice,” Illinois said with a chuckle and a wink.
“He what?” Phantom felt like his tongue had gotten stuck in his throat.
“I might have said a couple of raunchy ideas and that got him all bothered,” Illinois added with a laugh. “He got the ‘staring at the lip’ part down easily and...oh my, God.”
“What?”
“Were you jealous?”
“No! Never! Absolutely not! There is nothing to be jealous of!” Phantom’s face was burning up.
“You’re right about that.” Illinois went in close and once more pulled Phantom in for a kiss. Phantom only pouted for a moment before giving in and kissing back.
I keep getting the image of dark popping in to check on bim and ed in farm life the morning after and just face palming. AND all of the egos making bets if they get together or not
“How did you guess the Farm Life finale?” Vegorott asked.
“Wait, really?” Bim and Edgar said together.
“I mean, no, but now I wanna change it or at least a part of it.”
“I am not ‘popping’ in on them.” Dark protested.
“Oh, hun, like you have a choice.” Vegorott chuckled. “And we won’t know what part I’m talking about till the chapter is out.”
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Ice Cold
Bim woke with a groan, his head pounding and back aching. He grunted as he slowly sat up, discovering that he had been sleeping on the couch. His mouth tasted gross and his throat was screaming from being so dry and begging for anything to soothe it. Bim blinked a few times and found several water bottles were sitting on the coffee table in front of him. He reached out and grabbed one of the bottles, downing it all in one go and gasping out.
“Fuckin’ ducks.” Bim turned his head when he heard someone grumbling, finding Edgar sitting at the table, legs up and hat covering his face.
“Ducks?” Bim mouthed his question before actually speaking. “Ed?”
“Huh?” Edgar sniffed and reached for his hat, taking it off his face and placing it on his head. “Looks like we went a little heavy last night.” He said, looking at the display of empty bottles on the table. “We even got into the rum.”
“I don’t drink rum,” Bim said, plopping back down. His head was really hurting now.
“I didn’t drink this on my own, or I’d be dead.” Edgar gestured towards the empty rum bottle before standing up.
“I’m ready to be dead,” Bim said, using his arms to cover his face and block out the sunlight coming in from the window. He heard the water running and it kept running for a while, it wasn’t until he heard something crunch that he lowered his arms and looked towards the kitchen. “What are you doing?” Bim asked when he saw Edgar dropping ice into the sink, a ‘plop’ telling Bim that the sink was filled with water.
“It’s a cure,” Edgar stated, dipping his hand into the water and nodding as he took his hat off
“A cure-” Bim’s jaw dropped when Edgar dunked his head into the water.
“Ah!” Edgar gasped when he brought his head out. “That’s refreshing.”
“You could have just taken a shower,” Bim said.
“This is a lot more efficient.” Edgar grabbed a towel, drying off his face. “Your turn.”
“Excuse?”
“Dunk your head in.”
“I am not.”
“I ain’t listening to you complain about a headache all day.” Edgar walked over to the couch.
“I’m not doing that. Ed!” Bim shouted when Edgar grabbed him. “Ed! Let go!”
“You’ll be fine.” Edgar practically dragged Bim over to the sink.
“Ed Edgar! I swear I’ll-” Bim’s threat was cut off by Edgar putting his head under the water. “Cold, cold, cold!” Bim gasped out, water dripping off of his face.
“I hope so, that’s what the ice is for.” Edgar teased, handing Bim the towel.
“Oh? The ice?” Bim turned towards Edgar. “You mean this ice?” Bim shoved his hand down the front of Edgar’s shirt, releasing an ice cube he had grabbed.
“Bim!” Edgar yelped out.
“Is it cold, Edgar!?” Bim shouted with laughter.
“You tell me!” Edgar grabbed a handful of ice.
“No!” Bim squealed as he was caught and had ice shoved down his own shirt.
“Just want to make sure your all good.” Edgar laughed as well, splashing some water towards Bim.
“Stop that!” Bim splashed back.
“You started it!” Edgar splashed even more water, starting to get the ground wet.
“Bullshit I did!” Bim tried to dodge the water but lost his footing, grabbing the front of Edgar’s shirt in an attempt to stay up and ended up pulling Edgar down with and on top of him.
“You okay?” Edgar asked, pushing himself up slightly.
“I’m…” Bim found his voice getting caught in his throat, face flushing at the realization of how the two were. Edgar was hovering over him, hands at either side of his shoulders and a leg between his own.
“Bim?” Edgar pressed the back of his hand to Bim’s forehead. “Are ya sick?”
“My...my back just hurts a little.” Bim croaked out.
“Oh, probably.” Edgar sounded awkward as he got up, helping Bim to his feet.
“I’m going to go change and check on the bunnies,” Bim said and quickly walked off.
“Uh, yeah. I need to...yeah.” Edgar cleared his throat and shifted his hips, adjusting his pants before going up to his own room.
Bim sat on the bed for a good few minutes, still in his wet clothes, just thinking. Last night had started weird and sad, discussing past ‘loves’, but it was actually fun the more he thought of it. Edgar had taught Bim a few tricks he could do with bottles, even though Bim ended up dropping one and watching Edgar try to sweep while shit-faced was a show all of its own. Remembering how Edgar said ‘Shit-thias’ still brought a smile to Bim’s face and it even made him chuckle a little. Edgar’s advice about how shit-talking about an ex or an old crush that went wrong, isn’t a terrible thing. There’s nothing wrong with getting the anger off your chest, to be frustrated, to have a good vent session but Edgar said that he would never say anything terrible about his ex-wife to his child. No matter what. Bim thought that Edgar might look ragged to anyone who just met him or saw him, but he was actually a sweet guy.
“Hey, Bim?” Edgar’s voice spoke behind the door at the same time as a knock. “I’m going to the field to get some wood chopped up for the fire for tonight.”
“Okay,” Bim responded, getting off of the bed and heading over to the dresser. “I'll head over after checking on the little guys.”
“Cool.” Edgar’s voice lingered as if he wanted to say something more. “See ya.” Bim heard Edgar’s footsteps grow softer as he started discarding his clothing. He found himself grabbing the outfit Edgar had given him during one of his first days there, having forgotten to give it back after doing laundry. He was tempted to wear it again since it just felt...fitting. It gave off a strange comfort as if it was safe. Bim wondered if he should wear it or not as he put the clothing on anyways, it was just clothing, it didn’t mean anything. Right?
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Talk To Me
“Hey.” Edgar greeted and cleared his throat. “Shocked you’re up.”
“I was going to say that to you.” Bim weakly chuckled, sitting down on the porch next to Edgar, seeing that there were two empty bottles on the ground. “I heard you moving around and I was curious to know what you were up to.”
“Couldn’t sleep.” Edgar shrugged, taking another swig from the bottle of beer in his hand. “Want one?” He asked when he saw Bim eyeing the bottle.
“I shouldn’t.”
“Why not?”
“I’m pretty stupid sober, I don’t think anyone could handle me drunk.” Bim rubbed his neck.
“You ain’t gonna get drunk from one beer. You’ve bulked up a little since coming here, you’ve earned it.” Edgar grabbed one of the bottles from the sixpack and handed it to Bim.
“I haven’t really bulked up.” Bim softly protested and took the bottle, yelping in pain when he tried to twist the top off and it scratched his palm.
“Your legs ain’t twigs, ya got some meat on your thighs.” Edgar took the bottle back and used the step they were sitting on to pop off the cap.
“Really?” Bim looked down at his legs, it might have only been a month of riding, but his thighs did feel a little thicker. He thought he was just imagining it.
“Can I ask you somethin’?” Edgar asked as Bim took the bottle once more.
“Yeah.” Bim nodded and took a drink from the bottle, face scrunching from the taste.
“What did that Matthias guy do?” Bim thickly swallowed at the question.
“He didn’t really do anything bad.” Bim chewed on his lip. “He was nice about it.”
“Nice about what?”
“He caught on.” Bim could feel his face flushing in embarrassment as Edgar just looked at him, waiting for clarification. “That I had a crush on him.”
“Oh.” Edgar helped himself to a mouthful of beer.
“It was a stupid crush that just happened. I’m over it.” Bim forced himself to take another swig. “I’ve been over it but Matthias didn’t catch that part and tried talking to me, doing the whole ‘I see you as a friend’ and ‘you’re a great guy and you’ll find someone’ bullshit that doesn’t mean shit!” Bim realized he had started to yell and he sniffed. “Sorry, it was just so...annoying.”
“I know that feeling.” Edgar put down his now empty bottle and got a new one.
“How?”
“I had a wife.” The air went silent and Bim could only look down and after taking another drink, he was shocked to find he already finished it.
“I didn’t know.” Bim blurted out.
“Most of y’all don’t.” Edgar shrugged. “It didn’t end well.”
“What do you mean?”
“She got pissed, took Suzy and left.” Edgar downed his beer in one go. Bim wasn’t sure what to say and he just placed down his empty bottle. “It’s a little more complicated than that,” Edgar said after taking a breath, grabbing the last two beers and giving one to Bim. “We met when we were young, would have been high school sweethearts if I went to high school.” Edgar helped Bim open his bottle again. “It started as a fairy tale, heads over heels in love and all that. We got married and it wasn’t long till Mary had a baby bump on her. I thought we were fine and then money trouble started happenin’. It was before I agreed to work with Dark and the others when I thought I could handle myself, my wife and my soon to be child on my own. I thought to myself that since I was the man of the house, I had to take care of it and if that wasn’t the dumbest mistake I had ever made.” Edgar looked out, seeing that Shelia was still playing around in the field.
“What did you do?” Bim asked.
“I started sellin’ kids,” Edgar answered honestly. “I was young, dumb, naive and I let these fuckin’ dirtbags convince me that it was the best thing to do. Sell these kids so I don’t have to sell my own.”
“Sell them?”
“I never asked what happened to them. I couldn’t know, I refused to know.” Edgar’s voice cracked a little. “I thought that if I was only the frontman, the one that smiled and walked them in, I wasn’t one of the bad ones. I just wanted what was best for my family. They needed food and I believed that it was just a weird way of adoptin’ out kids. Isn’t that adoptin’ is? When you adopt you have to pay, we were just cuttin’ out a lot of the trouble. We were getting rid of all of those middlemen.”
“So, she found out?” Bim could feel his heart hurting for Edgar.
“Yeah, she went through my emails. I can’t even get mad at her for doin’ that because I was the monster between us. She was just gettin’ worried about my late nights. She just wanted to know what I was up to and...well, she found out.”
“I’m...sorry.” Bim gently patted at Edgar’s back.
“Suzy was only one, I barely even knew her. The last time she saw her daddy was him gettin’ screamed at by her mama and then gettin’ hit. I deserved it but...it still stings every time I think of it.”
“Did you try talking to her? Explain what was happening?”
“What was there to explain, Bim? I sold babies, I literally sold babies to strangers to do whatever they wanted to them. Do you know how many nights I can’t sleep because that thought runs through my mind? I’m a grown-ass man and I find myself crying for them. I don’t cry and yet here I am.” Edgar scrubbed at his eyes with a closed hand. “I should have been smarter. I have a farm, I could have found a way to take care of us...but...I just…I couldn’t.”
“How did you end up with Dark and us?” Bim asked.
“He found me. It was only a week after Mary left and I was at a motel, drunk and screaming at the ice machine for cheatin’ me. I didn’t know what the hell he was. I thought he was the devil comin’ to make me pay for my sins but who would have known I would be workin’ for him and committing more sins by gettin’ rid of the men I used to sell to. What a way the world turns.” Edgar started to gather up the empty bottles, standing up. “And what about you, Bim? What got you in this mess of a business we’re in?”
“It’s not that fun of a story.”
“And mine is?” Edgar poked at Bim’s shoulder with the bottles. “I think there’s some ice cream hiding in the freezer. I can scoop us up some and you can tell me the Trimmer tale.”
“The Trimmer tale?” Bim chuckled and got up as well.
“Mine’s the Ed Fable if that makes you feel better.” Edgar laughed. “Shelia!” He called out and the dog came running. “You might wanna take a step to the side.” Bim didn’t question it and moved, almost getting hit by the speeding bullet that was Sheila.
“Does she get ice cream?” Bim asked in a teasing tone as the two went back into the house.
“Ed...Ed!” Bim cried out from the couch, legs spread out and ice packs on both thighs. “Why does it hurt so much, Ed!?”
“It’s called bein’ sore.” Edgar chuckled from the door frame, taking a sip from his mug of coffee.
“This isn’t being sore, this is hell,” Bim whined.
“I can handle it, how hard can it be?” Edgar said in a mocking tone.
“I’m in pain here, farm-boy.” Bim huffed.
“And I’m enjoyin’ the show, city-boy.”
“You’re mean.” Bim pouted.
“You started it.” Edgar placed his mug down and picked up a set of what looked like blankets that were plugged into the wall.
“I can’t feel my legs.” Bim let out a yelp of protest when Edgar removed the ice packs. “Those felt-” Bim moaned out as the heated pads were placed on his thighs. “Damn.”
“Calm down, you sound like you’re…” Edgar stopped himself and cleared his throat. “Maybe we should call up the lavender girl.”
“What?” Bim lifted his head up. “What does she-oh.” Bim’s face went bright red and he plopped back down. “You’re mean.”
“I could have just let ya suffer.” Edgar took the ice packs back into the kitchen.
“You caused my suffering,” Bim grumbled.
“You’ll build up a better tolerance the more ya do it,” Edgar said as he came back into the room. “That is unless you don’t think you can handle it.” The grin on Edgar’s face made Bim have the strength to sit up and immediately regret it but he stayed up.
“I can handle it.” Bim puffed his chest out.
“We’ll see, city-slicker.”
x~x~x
“Glad to see you’ve managed to get off of the horse on your own this time.” Edgar teased, only getting to see Bim’s middle finger as a response. “I’m just saying you’re making progress already since yesterday’s ride had you stuck on the sadle for a good five minutes before finally calling for help.”
“It’s complicated.” Bim pouted.
“I know, it must be so hard.” Edgar said in a mocking tone, pushing out his lower lip.
“Don’t be a dick.” Bim stuck his tongue out, finishing tying Maggie’s lead to the trailer. The rope was now just a mess of knots while Edgar’s was just two loops. “I haven’t done this my entire life like you.” He added, turning his head when he felt something nudge at his side. “Hello-” Bim yelped when Maggie pushed him a little with her muzzle, causing him to bump into the trailer. “What is happening!?” Bim shouted as Maggie rubbed the front of her face against him. “Ed! She’s trying to kill me!” Edgar could only laugh at Bim. “Ed Edgar!” Bim snapped.
“You’re fine, she ain’t tryin’ to kill you.” Edgar went over and scratched the top of Maggie’s head, getting her to turn and start rubbing on him instead. “She’s sweaty, so she’s itchy.” Edgar explained as he turned around himself and let Maggie continue. “Might as well get a back rub out of it.” He chuckled.
x~x~x
Bim could only stare as he watch Edgar and the large horse named Buddy, go over a tall leap, both landing gracefully and taking a few more stides before slowing down and heading back to Bim and Maggie.
“Wanna give it a try?” Edgar asked with a smug smirk.
“Do you want me to die?” Bim squeaked.
“Maggie’s a show gal, she can clear it easily.” Edgar was having a little too much fun with the pure horror in Bim’s eyes. “You have your ‘gotta shit’ face on again.”
“You’re being mean.” Bim whined, leaning down and laying on Maggie’s neck.
“If I was being mean, I’d click my tongue and Maggie would take off on her own.”
“Don’t!” Bim wrapped his arms around Maggie’s neck, hiding his face in her mane. Edgar just smiled at the silly display Bim was putting on sighing when he saw an certain old horse sniffing at the jump rail.
“Milo, don’t think about it. Milo...Milo!” Edgar shouted when Milo tried to jump over the rail and ended up ramming through it instead, clattering the jump over and getting parts of it stuck on his body. “Hold my reigns.” Bim couldn’t say anything to protest before he was handed the leather and Edgar jumped off of Buddy. “Get your old ass back here!” Edgar scolded the horse, running after him. “You have a fucking bucket on your foot, dumbass!”
“Does this happen often?” Bim asked, realizing he was talking to the horses.
x~x~x
“Don’t lean forward if you don’t want to go faster.” Edgar called as he watched Bim yelled on top of Maggie, the horse starting to gain some speed. “And being loud only risks spooking them.”
“You’re yelling too!” Bim protested.
“But I’m calm.” Edgar made a point by letting go of his reigns and showing that Silver, a gray horse, stayed where he was and just kept eating grass.
“Fuck off!” Edgar just laughed more. “Ed! Ed! How do I make her slow down!?”
“You know how.” Edgar said. “Just calm down, you know how to do this. You’ve been riding for almost a month now.” Edgar picked his reigns back up, ready to head over and help if needed. Bim only went stiff before yanking on his own reigns, causing Maggie to stand up on her hind legs and throw Bim to the ground. “Bim!” Edgar cried out as Maggie ran off to the trailer, staying there since she heard the tone in Edgar’s voice. “Shit!” Edgar rode over to Bim before jumping off, knowing Silver would head just go back to eating grass. “Bim, Bim are you okay?” Edgar went to his knees, hovering over Bim.
“Ow…” Bim groaned out, openning both eyes a little. “That hurt my chest.”
“Oh, thank fuck.” Edgar let out the breath he had been holding. “Sounds like you mostly got the wind knocked out of ya, but we’ll call it a day. Think you can get up?” Bim blinked once and shifted just a little before scrunching his eyebrows.
“Carry me?”
“You’re a baby.” Edgar huffed.
“But, Ed.” Bim whined. “I’ve been injured.”
“You sound fine to me, now.” Edgar felt a warmth in his chest as he smiled down at Bim, who was holding his arms out towards him.
“But, Ed.” Bim held out Edgar’s name.
“Fine, but don’t get used to it.” Edgar grumbled as he went to his feet, crouching down as he tucked both arms under Bim, lifting him up as he stood. “You just didn’t want to walk back.”
“Maybe.” Bim chuckled, not knowing that some of the warmth in his own chest wasn’t from pain.
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