#bird beeps

[bumblequinn]

joe biden: how do i look in this chef hat, giuseppe?

giuseppe, the presidential butler: waifish and breedable as always, muy lord

joe biben: fabulous. pass me the Improbable Meat

[black-bell-bird]

call c!quackity a maneater because he's a hoe but also because of the cannibalism

[sleepyblr-eagle]

hey smpble.. reminder!! despite these trying times, lets please refrain from witchhunting and harassing anyone.. and remember to drink water!! take care of urself!! or ill fly over there myself and take care of u for u!

[bravebirdfolly]

Some guy on my dad's Facebook was getting annoyed by me because I was teasing them about "Teleprompter Trump" and he goes OH YEA WELL I DARE YOU TO MAKE A SPEECH THAT FITS WITHIN AN HOUR THAT YOU MEMORIZE AND GIVE bitch what the fuck do you think I had to do in half of my fucking college classes. I took a WHOLE CLASS dedicated to speeches and public presentations biiiiiiiiitch

[bumblequinn]

organizing a catholic / fighting game themed boy band whose members are named guilty gear, confessional gear, penitent gear, prostrate gear, and the habit

[bumblequinn]

just found an important message from my cat on my phone

[bumblequinn]

for the last time i DON'T have ADHD!!!!!!! i'm just always daydreaming because of my whimsical nature, i make impulse decisions because i love spontaneity, i forget things from before because i live in the now, i get everywhere late because i'm a free spirit, my place is a mess because i'm a creative type, and i'm tapping my foot because i'm feeling the rhythm of life babey! what do you MEAN you found my wallet in the oven

[bumblequinn]

Remember Your Four L's Today!

Laze ✅ Lounge ✅ Languish ✅

and most of all,

Lesbian ✅✅✅