How to deal with your ex like the adult you are
From @yoshiscribbles
To @thatsclassicsbaby
Rating: G. Relationships: Bitty/Parse, past Jack/Parse, pre Bitty/Jack/Parse. Tags: coffee shop au, trans bitty, trans parse, developing relationship, established relationship.
I hope you enjoy this fic! I had a lot of fun writing it and tried to incorporate elements you seemed to like, so enjoy :D
The door to the kitchen of the coffee shop slammed open and Bitty turned his head to see his boyfriend plastering his back against the door. Most of Kent’s face was blank, but there was a look of utter panic in his eyes that nearly made Bitty abandon the puffed pastry he was working on. Kent opened his mouth before Bitty could ask what was wrong.
“We can’t work here anymore.”
Bitty blinked, because that made absolutely no sense. “What are you talking about sweetpea, you love it here.”
Finishing up, Bitty folded the pastry before moving to put it back in the refrigerator, which incidentally brought him closer to Kent. The other boy had pushed himself off the door and was now pacing agitatedly in Bitty’s kitchen. “Okay, you can still work here. And so can I, I guess, but I can’t go back to the front.”
Bitty chanced a look at the front through the small round windows in the double doors that led to the kitchen, but there didn’t seem to be anything special going on. Certainly nothing that would warrant this reaction from Kent at least.
"The guy,” Kent said helpfully, though he still didn’t move from his prostrated position on the ground. “With a square jaw and stupidly blue eyes and that perfect fucking hair and-"
Kent stopped himself with a groan, but Bitty felt like it wasn't because he had run out of material to talk about. The description was perfect though, because wow, the guy near the corner did have a perfect jaw, and hair that looked soft, and when he raised his head Bitty ducked under the windows too because those piercing blue eyes sure were something.
"So it's not just me, is it?"
Kent's commiserating voice let Bitty breathe properly again as he realised that his heart was beating far too fast for no discernable reason. "Does he always look at you like-"
Bitty couldn't find the words to express the feeling, but Kent and him were on the same wavelength as usual. "Like you're the sole focus of his attention, yeah."
And this time, Bitty realised that something was wrong, because Kent usually never sounded despondent when they were both noticing a boy like that. He stood up and moved closer to his boyfriend.
"Okay, what did he do?" Bitty asked in all seriousness. He pulled Kent into his arms and the other boy moved easily enough. The tension in Ken's sturdy frame seemed to lessen as Bitty breathed with him, and he eventually answered the hug.
"We... used to date, Kent said eventually. And it hadn’t ended well judging by the way Kent was still refusing to look Bitty in the eyes.
Bitty chased every good thought he'd had about the man's attractiveness out of his mind. "Want me to kick him out?" he asked, though he wasn't expecting a positive answer. After all, Kent knew how much Bitty abhorred confrontation, and kicking that guy out without due cause would certainly count as such. As he’d expected, Kent shook his head in refusal.
They stayed like that for a few more moments, and it thankfully seemed like the ex wasn’t planning on staying in the coffee shop for long. The next time Bitty looked through the windows, Kent’s ex was gone, much to both their relief.
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Unfortunately, it seemed like the appearance of Kent’s ex wasn’t a coincidence the first time, but was instead the beginning of a new habit. Bitty usually wouldn’t mind, except that this was Kent’s ex and Bitty was thus contractually obligated to hate him on principle. This also wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t for the café’s dreadful lack of clientele at 7 in the morning, which coupled with Bitty’s southern upbringing, forced him to make small talk with the man under pain of disappointing his mental mama Bittle. Actually talking to the guy emphatically did not improve things however.
“All of this would be so much easier if he was actually rude,” Bitty eventually complained to Chowder, who had the misfortune of being the only person in the vicinity other than Kent once the ex left.
“But he isn’t?” Chowder asked, but Bitty was too busy moping over how terrible of a boyfriend he was being to try and process what undercurrent of emotion the other boy had added in his tone.
“But he isn’t.” In fact, Kent’s ex – and Bitty was determined not to call him Jack despite having been given explicit permission to do so by the man himself – had been nothing but polite to Bitty, and even tipped generously, the bastard! How was Bitty supposed to hold on to his dislike in such a case?
“Talking to Kent might work?” Chowder’s reply had Bitty realizing that he must have said part of his inner monologue out loud and he flushed. Chowder waved away his attempts at apologies and simply continued. “That’s his ex, right? If they broke up, Kent must have tons of reasons as to why it didn’t work, and they might help you like him less.”
“Chowder, you are a genius!” Elated, Bitty engulfed the younger boy into a hug, nearly choking him with the force of his embrace.
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Kent looked up as the doors to the apartment he shared with his boyfriend opened. He would usually have waited for Bitty to be done so that they could leave the coffee shop together, but he’d had an appointment with his endocrinologist that afternoon and had to leave earlier. Bitty crossed the threshold, arms laden with groceries and looking slightly dumbfounded. Kent chuckled and moved to help him.
“You look like you’ve discovered the answers to the universe, what gives?”
If Kent hadn’t been looking at his boyfriend, he might have missed the way his expression faltered slightly before coming back to normal. As it was, he had nothing to distract him from Bitty’s face and he didn’t much like what he saw.
It seemed like Bitty had learned that there wasn’t much he could do to keep Kent from finding out what he was feeling, for he relented. He greeted Kent with a kiss and crossed the room to put down the groceries in the kitchen. “It’s about your ex.”
Kent grimaced even as he tried to ignore the pang in his chest that resurfaced every time he thought about Jack. It had been years already – 3 years and 7 months, not that Kent was counting – and yet his reaction still hadn’t abated.
He knew Bitty wouldn't push, especially not if Kent insisted, but maybe it was time to face his problems instead of spending another two weeks hiding in the kitchen like his life depended on it every time he caught a glimpse of Jack. "Shoot," he sighed, though he put on a cocky smirk to put his boyfriend at ease.
Bitty didn't seem impressed, but he still continued. He seemed to hesitate over his words, strangely enough. Kent briefly wondered how terrible the question he was going to ask had to be to cause this reaction. "I need you to give me all the reasons you can think of to hate him," Bitty said in a rush, as though the words were fighting to come out of his mouth.
"You... what?"
Kent's nonplussed answer must have opened a dam, because Bitty transformed under his widening eyes. The other boy spoke too fast, moving his arms so much as he ranted that the sleeves of his shirt slid down to reveal the strap of his binder. Kent managed to catch something about Jack, and nice, and too much hockey, and tips, and polite maybe? By the time the rant was over, he did have a very good idea about what the problem was, and grimaced slightly as he considered his answer.
"Yeah, Itsy?" Bitty turned, facing Kent again, and he opened his mouth. "Yeah, he's not- I can't really help you with that." Kent admitted wistfully. "We didn't break up because he was terrible or anything, it was..."
He raised his hand to make some kind of gesture, to try to illustrate his feelings, but eventually let it fall down after it having hovered in the air. What was there to say? That they’d broken up because they were both in terrible states, which in turn made them terrible for each other? He sighed, before leaning against Bitty’s shoulder, who’d approached to stand at his side. Reaching out for his boyfriend’s hand, Kent looked at their entangled fingers and tried to voice his thoughts.
“He hated himself and closed himself off, I hated myself and lashed out, it built up along with other factors until…” Kent interrupted himself, not wanting to be the one to tell Bitty about Jack’s overdose. It wasn’t his place after all, and Bitty really didn’t have to know. “Something happened,” he continued instead. He shrugged. Turned his head to look Bitty in the eye. “We never officially broke up, I guess, but we never saw each other again and eventually moved away.”
Kent had thought he’d gotten over the whole train of events, but even years later there was still an ache in his chest when he thought about Jack. That, and he had to admit that his inability to face Jack didn’t solely come from the awkwardness of facing an ex.
“Nonono, Kent!” Bitty was pleading in that way that let Kent know he was being a drama queen rather than genuinely distressed. He even swooned toward Kent, and Kent couldn’t help the small laughter that escaped him at the sight. It was far too obvious that he was trying to dispel the tension, but Kent still felt grateful for it, ridiculous as his boyfriend was being. It was working after all.
“You were supposed to help me hate your ex, not make me feel sad for the both of you” Bitty protested, though he was also smiling slightly now that the tension had been released.
Kent shook his head fondly and lowered his face to Bitty’s hair, breathing in his familiar scent. “Sorry Bitsy, he’s just that great.”
The tranquil atmosphere couldn’t last for that long though, not when Kent knew he’d let too much of his feelings show with the way he spoke.
“You still love him,” Bitty said eventually, and Kent flinched as he realised that it wasn’t a question. And he couldn’t in all honesty deny the statement.
“I love you,” he said instead. Even to his ears the words sounded like an exrather than honest, even if he meant every single one of them.
Still, Bitty didn’t push him away. He didn’t even let go of the reassuring hold he had on Kent’s shoulder. Instead, he kept holding Kent close and used his free hand to guide Kent’s chin until they were locking gazes together again.
“I never doubted that for a second, Kent,” Bitty said, and the words were fierce in a way that made Kent’s eyes mist over a little. “And I love you too, no matter what your feelings towards Jack may be.”
Kent couldn’t keep looking Bitty in the eyes like this. Not when he felt like his heart had grown three sizes and he had to bite his lip to keep it from trembling. Not when the weight and guilt he’d unconsciously felt piling on his shoulder seemed to have lightened with his boyfriend’s tacit approval and unconditional love. Not when he knew Bitty would support his decision no matter what it would be.
Sniffling a little, Kent engulfed Bitty into a hug and hid his face into his boyfriend’s neck, relishing in the soothing motion a steady hand on his back.
“You should talk to him,” Bitty whispered near his ear. Kent couldn’t see his face, but his voice was tremulous, like he was holding back tears too. “There’s enough place in your heart for more than just little me, and you could see where you want to go from there, alright?”
This time, it was Kent’s turn to pull back a little until he could press his forehead on Bitty’s own. “You’ve never been “just” anything to me,” he whispered hoarsely against Bitty’s lips. He closed the distance between their mouths to press them together gently for a few moments. “And if there’s a future out there that doesn’t include you I don’t want it.
“Kent Parson!” Bitty exclaimed with a tearful burst of laughter. “You are not allowed to make me cry in my own goddamn apartment!”
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It took a while for Kent to put Bitty’s advice into action. Bitty didn’t even push, even when Kent kept conveniently finding tasks to do in the kitchen where he could remain out of view of the customers. Jack must have seen him at least once by this point, unless he had truly become more oblivious to the way he affected people with time. It had to come to a breaking point eventually though.
“Okay, this can’t go on like this I’m going out.”
“Kent, are you-”
But Kent didn’t let Bitty finish his sentence before he’d headed off towards the table that had become Jack’s usual since his first visit to the café. Jack didn’t look up as Kent approached, nose buried in what was probably a history book, knowing him. He did raise his head however when Kent stopped near his table and didn’t move.
“Hey.” The word left his mouth like a prayer and a curse all at once. It was also like exhaling a sigh of relief, and Kent felt all the better for it even as he felt his senses narrow until everything outside of Jack and himself felt dulled.
Kent had been very careful about not stalking Jack on the various kind of social networks available to him, and maybe this was why he was so taken aback by the intensity of those blue eyes. Jack’s eyes looked Kent over with a clinical gaze for a few moments, and Kent felt ice begin to cover him as he pondered the possibility that Jack might have forgotten him entirely. After all, it had been years since they’d seen each other, he’d gotten on hormones since he’d broken up with Jack and though he wasn’t unrecognizable there were still some sizeable changes there. What if Jack had never tried contacting Kent because he truly didn’t care? This entire thing was a terrible idea, Kent should have remained in the kitchen after all.
After what seemed like too long, Jack finally opened his mouth, recognition replacing the confusion in that cold gaze. “Kenny?” said Jack, looking him up and down, and Kent felt the full weight of that stare on him. He didn’t answer verbally – couldn’t get his voice to work suddenly – but his expression must have talked enough for him because Jack suddenly looked both relieved and deeply uncomfortable. They stared at each other in silence, neither of them willing to break it.
“You, euh, you have thighs,” Jack eventually said.
Kent just. Stared. Well no, that wasn’t exactly what he did. He looked at his thighs first and noticed that yes, he did in fact have them, but then he let his gaze climb back up and stared at Jack. To be fair, the other man seemed as confused as Kent about the words that came out of his own mouth, so Kent decided to give him some leeway. Before he could speak, Jack hastened to correct himself.
“Not that you didn’t before, it’s just-” Jack gestured vaguely in the direction of Kent’s legs, and Kent couldn’t believe he still felt some sort of fondness for that awkward mess of a boy. “They got bigger since we-”
“Yeah,” Kent interrupted before Jack could mention their failed attempt at a relationship. “Um, I took up hockey again? And I work out too so…”
They lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, and Kent couldn’t take it anymore. He broke their staredown and turned on his feet, speed walking out of there as fast as he could.
Bitty was hands deep in a new batch of what looked like croissants when Kent opened the door, so Kent hovered at his side and waited for him to finish before he spoke. “Okay, we need to move on to plan B.”
“Plan B, what plan B?” Bitty asked confusedly. Then his face split up in a delighted smile. “Oh, you talked to Jack! How did it go?”
Kent waved his concerns away. “We talked, but now we need plan B,” Kent repeated, and he couldn’t believe Bitty hadn’t understood him the first time. “Which is the one where you talk to him in my place, because I can’t focus when his face is just… Right there!”
“Oh honey,” was Bitty’s answer, accompanied by one of Bitty’s commiserating faces and a hand pressed over his heart. That’s when Kent knew that his plan of simply avoiding Jack until Bitty fixed his relationship would not succeed and he’d have to actually talk to the man himself.
