Request: Hi, um this is my first time requesting, I would like for U if you could, do Sebastian, Claude, undertaker, and maybe Ciel, how they got into an argument, and the guy ends up raising their hand and might look like they might slap them because they were mad, their beloved is feared of them for a while or in that moment? uh, the them I suppose is angst with some comfort at the end, I've had a rough day, so I need depression with comfort, If U don't want to do this, I totally respect your wishes.
Title: When He Raises His Hand to You
Genre: mostly angst, little sliver of comfort at the end of each character portion
Pairing: Sebastian Michealis/Ciel Phantomhive/Undertaker X GN!Reader (separate)
Notes: Hey! I'm so sorry about this, but I don't write for Claude, so I stuck to the other three that were requested. Otherwise, I also decided to roll with headcanons for the format - the short descriptions would help the reader interpret the written in a way more similar to their situation, I think.
That said, I will warn any reader now: this does deal with traumatic events such as previous abuse and intense anxiety. If either of those makes you uncomfortable or is a trigger for you, I recommend reading something else. If you decided to read, please do so with caution.
Either way, I hope all readers enjoy it - and that it can possibly make your days better.
Below the cut!
Sebastian Michaelis
on a normal day, he’s gonna be cool as a cucumber
seriously
it would have to be an absolutely A W F U L day for him to even raise his voice at you, much less his hand
but today was one of the aforementioned days about ten times over
you had dropped by the Phantomhive manor to aid your family
your initial time spent with him was limited
you had to crack down and get to business with ciel
seriously, the two of you were notorious for being thrown together to solve cases
but that wasn’t what bothered sebastian
he was normally able to handle you working
but it just seemed like everyone was trying to get on his nerves today
mey-rin broke a good portion of the manor china, managed to flood the laundering area, and was seemingly even more inept at cleaning
finnian poisoned a large portion of the garden and seasonal flowers with one go, proceeded to call for sebastian to fix it, and then destroyed not only another portion of the garden but also the shed in which they kept all of the required tools needed
and bardroy burnt the kitchen. again. for the fifth time today.
this isn’t even accounting for the multitude of times in which grell came by to crash the manor and their endeavors to uncover any evidence
bringing along the other reapers
and the times that day in which they had completed work to present to you with the undertaker in which sebastian needed to attempt multiple times to get him to laugh
it was, overall, a stressful day
and he really wanted to relax with you
given ciel’s discretion, of course, but he knew you were a reasonable person and patience was something that you had in spades when it came to sebastian and his work
he would be able to do that later that night, though
you specifically requested have sebastian stay with you once the busyness at the manor slowed
and, after a few hours that felt like a good few weeks to sebastian passed, you were able to
you were trying to relax by candlelight and admire the images that were present on the walls surrounding you
sebastian was trying to put ciel to bed and make sure that the rest of the servants were asleep
“young master, is there anything else you require of me before you rest for the night?”
“i think that will be all, sebastian. possibly if you could review any documents that may need reviewing with y/n, though. that would be great.”
“or course, young master. rest well.”
he met up with you not long after putting ciel to bed, and as you were roaming, he was trying to remain calm.
this never usually happened.
he usually had everything under control.
he usually had his head upright and logic straight.
but tonight, for once, he wanted to - needed to - relax
sadly, while he couldn’t really relax, he at least was with you
well, he thought he was
until you caught wind of an event occurring in your own manor
and you were reccommended to leave within the coming few hours
that was the last straw for sebastian.
“darling, i normally attempt to allow you to attend to your own events and needs, but i only wish to request that you stay here for the moment.”
“sebastian, i’m quite sorry, but this is important. i must attend to it quickly. i promise you that it won’t take long, not in the slightest.”
“darling, if i may-”
“sebastian, i’m so, terribly, sorry-”
“darling-”
“i must be on my way-”
“no. it was said that you could leave come the morning.”
“i’m quite worried, though-”
“darling, i must ask you to stay calm and relax here for the night.”
“but business calls-”
“ignore it. i’ve had quite the stressful day, and all i request is that i do not be denied time spent alone with the one human i can tolerate.”
he only slightly raised his voice then, yet you were still chilled.
not enough to back down, though
“sebastian, please-”
“y/n, dear. you are staying here for the night.”
“no, i must go-”
you stood up, rushing to reach your room for the night
sebastian regarded your leave, grabbing your arm
“please, sebastian-”
“no, darling-”
“i quite clearly said. NO.”
“sebastian-”
his fists were clenching, something you failed to see, but nonetheless
“please, darling-”
“i must leave-”
he pulled you by your arm and quickly, oh so quickly
he raised his other hand
it wasn’t by much, not by much at all
but it was so sudden, so shocking, and so uncharacteristic of him
it left you shaken
you stared at his gloved hand, mouth agape
memories came back to you, almost tenfold
some of your past with your adoptive parents
some of your past with your biological and deceased parents
some of the orphanage owners that you lived with
a gloved hand, to you, was something that often terrified you
and, in that moment, sebastian was no longer sebastian
he was your father, your adoptive mother, and your previous caretaker all at once
hand raised, brow furrowed, and eyes wide
the sight was bloodcurdling to you
tears clouded your vision and you backed away, resorting to running from the current room you were in and locking the door
sebastian had lowered his hand upon seeing your facial expression
but, despite him trying to process what had just occurred and the emotion that came with it, he was only trying to configure the aftermath
he knew you had locked the door, really
and though he had the key to enter if need be, he left you alone.
he wouldn’t want you to be so awfully scared that you would fear for your wellbeing after this point
he would approach you after you have settled what you need
you would be returning to the manor after everything has been worked out, and he’d ask tanaka to lead you to your carriage
of course, while advising ciel of his actions and your dilemma
so, in that time, he would have to process the regret
the true, honest regret
and come to terms with what had happened as well as what he is to say and do to fix the situation as best as he could
and so, come the next day, he was alreayd prepared
ciel had been the one to greet you, and tanaka was the one who led you into the manor at you next visit
and while you saw sebastian, you were still hesitant to talk to him
you knew that he meant no real harm towards you, that it simply was a spurred reaction
but that didn’t make it much better at all.
ciel had been the one to chew out the servants for screwing things up so awfully that day, so they really straightened out and quick
so they had been on their best behavior for the time that you were away, and still had been
sebastian had been given a break, and tanaka had been temporarily appointed the caretaker for the phantomhive child
ciel really, truly saw you as someone to respect, so he made sure that you would be fine and that sebastian felt guilt for it
it wasn’t until nightfall came that you talked to sebastian
it took some time to muster the energy to do it, but it was done nonetheless
he had approached you and held out a hand, which you obliged
he gave it a light kiss, meant to signify a simple apology
you knew how formal he could be, and he never really did this after an event such as the one that recently occurred unless he was instructed to find information
so this was slightly shocking, but it calmed you down.
“darling, i do apologize for my atrocious behavior during the last time we were alone.”
“no, no - you did it as an impulse reaction, nothing more. you wouldn’t hurt me.”
he chuckled just the slightest at that statement, but guided you to a nearby seat.
a candle was lit on a shelf not far away from said seat, and it smelled faintly of (favorite/scent).
it was an apology silently accepted as you sat beside the tall man and shared a conversation.
the following times that he was bothered, he made sure to avoid letting any anger reach him as best as he could
(that, or he took it out on grelle if she just so happened to be in the vicinity of wherever he happened to be)
(sometimes, he even ended up beating the red-headed reaper in front of you)
(ciel would always scowl, you’d always giggle a little. it was funny, so-)
Undertaker
this guy.
okay.
with undertaker, i don’t think he would raise his hand unless something positively huge was compromised.
he can get serious, yes.
it can get intimidating, yes.
but the thing is...he isn’t particularly violent unless pushed so far that that’s the only course of action.
(dude’s an xntp of some kind, logic and ideas are way higher than kicking and fighting when things go wrong)
that said, i think this would have to do with him planning his resurrection idea
that, and/or putting it into action.
specifically during book of atlantic, or right before.
it would probably be during the planning stage, and i have a feeling that work would manage to get to him
he is a reaper, and he does have emotions, so it isn’t like he wouldn’t be even a little stressed about this.
that, and he needs someone to help put that plan into action.
he didn’t manage to reach his partner, and you?
yeah, you were completely and totally unaware of his plan, much less aware of his whole idea.
you only knew that he was doing something, and you assumed it to be his normal work.
he was busy, as always.
but, you knew that he also needed a break from time to time.
again, he’s a reaper - he needs to function like a normal human to do acts that a human is almost completely unable to do.
so, using what was available, you made him a snack.
it wasn’t much, no. not much at all, but it was something.
you had a plate in hand, taking it to a door to the undertaker’s office
knocking gently, you heard his voice ring.
“who could possibly be knocking on my study door?”
you laughed, shaking your head and setting the plate you held on the ground.
“tis merely a burglar, darling. they happened to drop a snack by for you, as well.”
“ha ha! well, i appreciate the burglar’s efforts!”
and this followed as habit for days
which then turned to weeks
which then turned to months
which caused you to get a little pissed.
your partner wasn’t responding to your efforts, he wasn’t even opening the door in front of you.
if this was just a portion of his normal job, then why is he being so secretive?
so, tired and annoyed, you did what you would normally do.
bring him food
(again, still a reaper.)
and instead of just dropping it by the door like usual, you knocked and stood there
“whoever may be here at this hour?”
“yet again, a burglar, darling. i do think we need to focus more on our security.”
“ah, and may they perchance have food readied?”
“why, yes they do. they do wish that their target would meet them to flaunt their loot.”
silence.
you knew it would happen.
he doesn’t respond to this well, but you usually calm him down.
this? totally different story.
“well, my apologies dear burglar, but i’m unable to do so. would you please leave the plate beside my door and i’ll provide a gift of thanks tomorrow?”
you breathed in deep, knocking again.
you heard the old wooden chair that he kept in his study move when you didn’t reply.
some footsteps echoed as best as they could, but that was it.
until the lock became undone.
the door didn’t open, no, but the lock became undone
so, angry and worried, you stormed inside
“undertaker, darling, take a break.”
he cleared his throat and sat still enough
still enough to warrant some fear
“please, you need to rest and i’m sure that this endeavor of yours can wait.”
slowly, slowly, oh so slowly he stood
and finally looked at you
you remembered seeing his eyes before, but now?
there was a fire in them that scared you senseless
“darling, if i may, i’m quite busy-”
“and you’re failing to care for your health. you never seem to listen when i have to remind you-”
“now-”
“-that you can’t thrive off of what is essentially spite and drive-”
“(y/n), my dear-”
two steps closer.
“-simply because you wish to. may i remind you-”
“darling, i might advise you to calm down-”
“-you are not a demon nor one of those damned creatures referred to as angels, you are simply a-”
“darling...”
another two steps
“-reaper. you are a reaper, and you need rest just as much as the rest of us humans do, so-”
“(y/n), there is a fine line here...”
“-not just for my sake, but for yours, take. a break.”
“i cannot!”
for the first time in a long time, he raised his voice to you.
“this is business that you are not to be associated with, and it requires my utmost attention.”
his voice boomed through the walls
“with your ‘care’, i seem to be getting less work done by the second.”
he stepped closer with every word he uttered
“so, if i may say, you are being quite obnoxious-”
“i’m only trying to assure your health, reaper or not-”
“ENOUGH!”
his hand came up quickly
you flinched back just as he did so, terror overtaking you
you gulped as you stepped back, setting the food on a table nearby the exit of the study
silence rang louder than he ever did in that moment
tension rose, very obviously so
“alright then. i’ll be out of your way if that’s what you think.”
you pushed your chest up, raised your head, and proceeded to turn your back to him
“i’ll be leaving then.”
and you left
he sighed, sulking hsi way back to his seat
he was staring through his fingers at the copious amounts of work present on his desk
shame was everything he could comprehend.
you, on the other hand, took to roaming the town.
waving to the townsfolk that you knew and vice versa, sharing slight conversation with those that you could say you were friendly with
you even ran into grell when walking past the nearby church
“ah, hello, (y/n) my dear!”
“hello, grell.”
she noticed your attitude as soon as you spoke.
nothing could slip past her
“what happened, dear? do you wish to talk about it?”
you shook your head
“i’d prefer if we just took a stroll around. i need to clear my mind.”
so you did.
small talk was exchanged, and she told you of her issues in the workplace
stories about how overtime was exhausting, complaining about being ridiculed for the event with madam red by will, even about how people in the office were outright insufferable
it got a slight laugh out of you
even when she would bring up her advances towards the phantomhive butler, you listened and let her talk
it was relaxing, but you couldn’t help but feel a little dejected still
your partner just raised his hand to you even though you were trying to make sure that his health wasn’t suffering
yes, you were being a tad bit obnoxious, but it wasn’t out of malice
it was merely worry for him
the night fell not long after, and being courteous, grell walked you home
“rest well, darling! i shall see you again soon!”
you smiled slightly, “of course, grell. i wish the same to you. good night.”
and you slowly walked into the undertaker’s shop, trudging to the small flat that you both lived in hesitantly
when you entered, undertaker was located in the kitchen area staring at a cup of tea in his hand
creaking was heard upon your entry, and his head darted up to face you
you sniffed, turned away, and went to hang your coat
“may i inquire what it is you need, undertaker?”
he cleared his throat, and though you couldn’t see it, directed his gaze to the warm liquid in front of him
“i apologize for my actions earlier.”
you sighed, turning back to him and waiting patiently.
“it was impulse, particularly one that i’m not fond of. you were simply making sure that i was well taken care of, and i took it for granted.”
“mmm. alright then.”
approaching him, you brushed a stray hair from his shoulder
“i accept your apology, though i will say that i do not apologize for my intent. i apologize for my persistence, though - it was quite rude for me to barge in on your work.”
a simple little moment was shared in silence in that moment
he sipped his tea, you stood by and made dinner for the both of you
“do you wish to work again tonight, my dear?”
“not quite. rather, i’d wish to relax with a good book.”
you gently smiled, nodding and reaching for silverware and napkins to prepare the table with him
Ciel Phantomhive
ciel here is a bit of an enigma
we know he is usually calm and collected, b u t
he’s still a child.
his emotions are going to be all over the place, and him raising his hand to someone was depicted
(in regards to lizzy breaking his ring)
so this wouldn’t necessarily be normal, but it also wouldn’t be something that isn’t a plausible reaction (sadly)
but, for the sake of this, let’s say that ciel is almost 18.
business for funtom was getting tiring, and it seemed that every case he was being thrown was harder than the last
his lessons were getting more plentiful, the servants were wreaking havoc around the manor - more so than usual
a guest was to join you and him at the manor tonight
and, finally, daily annoyances were starting to get to him
he couldn’t even sit through a game of chess.
you had been staying at the manor for the summer months, as your family knew his quite well since you were children
(you two were close, so your staff was caring for your manor while you were away)
(you still had your personal servant with you, though)
you had been trying to play against him, but as much as he tried, the most energy he could muster was used to complain and sigh in dejection
it left you feeling a little off, but you knew how he could get.
“do you need some time alone, ciel?”
“hmm? oh, uh...if you wouldn’t mind...though i do apologize in advance.”
you smiled and shook your head
“no problem! whenever you need me, i’ll be in the manor. somewhere.”
so, you left.
and with that, chaos seemed to hit him harder.
the servants were getting more lax, driving him (and sebastian, but more so him) up a wall
and grell decided it would be a good idea to infiltrate the manor and ‘relax’
translation: annoy the living hell of out sebastian and himself
case after case was being sifted through, and despite his intelligence, ciel could swear he could feel his brain losing its functionality
add that onto the extra work that sebastian provided for the day (seeing as it was one that was much less busy than others) and...
you’ve got a pissed off phantomhive.
night rolled around, and with that, so did the arrival of the guests.
it also meant that there was going to be some intermingling
and chaos, as always.
dinner was stressful.
mey-rin had been instructed to only set the table - 1. by. 1., as per sebastian - and pour the wine
but she had slipped.
again.
ciel sighed, but sent a look towards sebastian.
finny didn’t do anything outright outrageous, but upon the reminder that the dinner event was tonight, he tried to fix up a portion of the garden.
it didn’t work.
the portion was completely black. no clue how, it happened though.
and sebastian had warned ciel, so it was supposed to be blocked off.
sadly, though, once the dinner itself had ended and the intermingling began, people were adamant
‘i’ve heard wonderful things about your gardens, mr phantomhive!’
‘the flowers here supposedly bloom much more beautifully than elsewhere.’
that wasn’t uncommon.
so they of course had to see the garden.
it was a game of cat and mouse, keeping the guests from the destroyed area.
you, ciel, and sebastian were acting as mice in that scenario
and by the end of the night, as desserts were being left
bardroy had burned the kitchen down.
a g a i n.
ciel had about had it.
sebastian was able to keep a more level head, thankfully, and got him to calm down just the slightest.
though he was just as pissed.
that said, though, things did get worked out
and the cleaning process was almost insufferable
again, after being knocked to the side, grell decided to try again.
ciel had it at that point.
he had stormed to his office, almost looking like a child throwing a hissy fit.
you noticed this and immediately trailed him
“ciel, is everything alright?”
“i’m fine.”
“you’re mad, you’re not exactly fine.”
“you heard me the first time, y/n.”
“yes, i did. and i don’t believe you.”
by this point, you two had made it to his office and were getting heated
“well, darling, might be good for you to believe me.”
“no, i don’t think so. you’re mad, i can tell, the guests could tell - everyone here knows.”
“no, not a single occupant knows.”
you sighed, shook your head and took a deep breath before speaking.
“ciel, you’re mad. livid, even. that’s fine. but you need to discuss it.”
“no, i don’t. i’m not mad.”
you step closer to him.
“yes, you are and you need to talk. things are different now, ciel. you don’t have to hide anything from me.”
another step closer.
“y/n, this is fine. it’s fine. it is merely a normal occurrence.”
“normal occurrence, maybe - but no matter, you are mad. and stressed. that’s easy to see.”
another step.
“you’ve gotten tense, you haven’t even been able to sit through a game of chess.”
and another.
“you were constantly glaring, and couldn’t even fake small talk with the guests tonight.”
and another.
“just sit down for a second...”
one more.
“take a deep breath or two...”
you were in front of him now, reaching for his hair to brush it away from his eyes.
“and then we can ta-”
his arm seemed to raise instantaneously.
had ot not been for sebastian getting there in time, who knows what would have happened.
either way, you were shaken.
no tears, you knew he could get worked up and resort to moronic actions
but this was only slightly unexpected.
you nodded, backing away and taking a deep breath
“fair enough. i’ll wait until you’ve leveled out, ciel.”
giving your awareness to the tall butler, you retreated to your personal room for the summer and called for your servant to help you get into your night clothes
you went to sleep that night with a head full of thoughts.
he had never gotten violent with you, until tonight, that is
and he had always been upfront.
was it stress?
was it simply anger?
or was this a sensitive time for him in general?
these questions plagued you
as they plagued ciel, as well
it had been a pretty intense day, mostly due to the copious amounts of events and documentation that needed to be done
but that doesn’t excuse his actions.
he knew that you would listen, you’ve done it before.
multiple times, you would sit and listen and provide input whenever - and it always seemed to be at the right time.
he truly messed up, and he knew it.
he just didn’t quite know how to verbalize it
“young lord, if i may suggest something, it would be best to get to the point.”
sebastian was helping ciel to bed at this point, and even he was about tired of tonight.
“and how would you suggest that i do that?”
ciel waited as sebastian hummed
“they’re reasonable. waht you have to say, they’ll listen. just be honest with them, young lord.”
humming himself, ciel sent sebastian off once situated in bed for the night and stewed over what to say.
the next morning, you and ciel were seated at different ends of the dining area table
the aura was tense - enough to know something was wrong, but not enough to know exactly what it was.
ciel cleared his throat after sipping his tea, brushing his pants before looking at you
“y/n, i owe you an apology.”
you raised a brow, but straightened yourself in your seat and gestured for him to proceed.
“it was wrong of me to raise my hand. i was livid, i was also stressed, but that is no excuse,.”
your gaze softened just the slightest.
he was tense, again, and almsot fumbling to put together a sentence.
likely about why his reaction occurred.
“we can get into the details later, ciel. i appreciate the apology. you don’t have to tell me why if you don’t wish to.”
and from then on, the day slowly got better.
sebastian even gave ciel a break, keeping papers from him and cutting his classes for the day.
you two had finally managed to reconcile, going on multiple little adventures in the manor itself.
looking through all of the books in the library at the manor, going through the garden, even venturing through the woods beside the manor (being trailed by your servants, of course.)
essentially, everything came to a better end than beginning (considering the ‘beginning’ was the previous night)
he also managed to keep himself in check following the event.
(it shocked you, how well he adjusted)
(seriously.)
(ciel managed to keep everything together, even when the day was worse than the event that caused it).
(it also shocked sebastian, to be frank.)
(but you weren’t complaining - you were connecting with him better!)
Ok ok ok first off.. amazing job writing! Second can you write the assassin having a ;) dream about Ciel? ;) ;) ;) if you catch my drift and maybe a little something something happens?
Thank you so much for the kind words! I’m so happy you enjoy my writing and trust me enough to do something like this! I’m finally done! Sorry this took so long >.
Nice Dreams (Adult!Ciel x Assassin!Reader)Warning(s): definitely NSFW (if you’re under 18, please don’t read)Word Count: 2,525
You snuggled into the bed, your arms wrapped around the pillow Ciel usually slept on. Tonight, you were alone as Ciel was off who knows where. He had been rather adamant that you not come with him. Even though you told him, several times, your injury was healed over he was still having none of it. Rather than continue to argue, you sent him off earlier that day.
But you hated not having him there with you to sleep. The both of you quickly found you relied on the other to get a restful night. Nightmares for him, overly heightened senses for you as you were too paranoid something was going to happen. However…your (E/C) trailed back to the pillow under you. “This will have to do.” You muttered into it, inhaling deeply to get the comforting scent of your husband. And soon enough, you were able to fall into a blissful sleep.
“H-harder, Ciel, please.” Your voice echoed in the large bedroom you shared with him, your hands bunching the sheets under you as you lay face down in the pillows. Ciel had a strong grip on your hips, having them hoisted up as he sat on his knees.
As his hips continued to thrust into your core, one of his hands reached around and under you to begin to tease that sensitive bundle of nerves. You let out a whimper and shimmied your hips with his touch, trying to feel him even more. “So needy.” He teased, his torso leaning down over you so his deep voice could whisper in your ear. “I love it when my girl whimpers like that.” His mouth moved to your neck where he nipped and sucked on your sweet spot, effectively making you putty in his hands.
“Oh, Ciel, please….” You whined; your tough façade having quickly fallen away.
“‘Please’ what? Use your words, (F/N).” He chuckled heatedly into your ear, his hips never letting up.
“I-I…I need….”
Ciel rotated his arm, groaning a bit in the process. Sebastian had to leap out a window with him in the butler’s arms. No longer a child and now a tall man, it was much harder to tuck himself against Sebastian and he landed right on his shoulder. While he was given an apology, the butler wore that devilish smirk that said otherwise. “Bastard enjoys causing pain.” He muttered as he rounded the corner and found himself outside his bedroom. Right as he was going to turn the handle, he heard a most…interesting sound.
“Mmm, Ciel, thank you….” Your moans, while muffled, easily reached your husband’s ears outside of the door. Smirking, Ciel turned the handle ever so quietly and stepped inside. You hadn’t pulled the curtains completely, so the light from the full moon cast a glow over the bedroom. He could easily see your slightly writhing form in bed, twitching and moaning his name.
Tilting his head a bit, he walked over and sat beside you on the bed only to find you with your eyes closed. Yes, when one was experiencing pleasure it was common to close one’s eyes, but that was not what was happening now. You were having a very nice dream it seemed.
You gave a small whimper of need and that was all he needed to hear. Ciel loosened the tie around his neck and placed it, along with his gloves on the nightstand. Pulling back the sheets, he gazed at your quivering form for a moment. How did he get so lucky to have such a strong and beautiful woman? His right hand delicately trailed up your bare leg, pulling up the hem of your night dress with it.
Your thighs pressed themselves together, faintly registering the gentle touch in your sleep as one of affection. Ciel’s pale hand traveled further, reaching your hip and pausing, raising a brow. “No undergarments?” He muttered under his breath. You always wore them to bed, annoyingly so. But now, when he was not expected home until the next day, you decided not to wear them? How rude of you.
Ciel brought his hand up to his mouth, delicately licking his fingertips to get them nice and slick before brought it down to cup your sex. Your hips immediately bucked into them in response. “Ciel….” You mumbled out, holding onto the pillow more tightly. It amused him to no end that even in sleep, you knew who was giving you pleasure. His middle finger slid in between, rubbing ever so slightly and watched as your legs squirmed. How were you already this wet? It truly must have been a great dream. It amazed him you were still asleep since you were such a light sleeper.
A deep inhale was heard and his eye wandered back to your face as it snuggled into the pillow. His pillow. Well, at least it will smell like you a little bit when he’s all done. The soft sounds of your wetness from the movement of his finger was more than enough to have aroused him. The fact you were having a dream about him in the first place was definitely the main cause.
Ciel slipped a finger past your entrance which made you draw a sharp breath followed by a groan. “W-what?” You blinked the sleep from your eyes to see a hand between your legs and it connected to your husband. “Oh, hello there.”
Your husband chuckled and began to gently rub his thumb over your clit. “Hello. How was your dream?” He hummed, leaning down to place a gentle kiss to your ear. “it sounded like you were having a great time.”
You felt your body flush at that. Yes, you were having an erotic dream about you and your husband. But you had no idea it could actually be heard. “It…was a wonderful dream.” You turned a bit to face him, your hand trailing down his chest. “But this is far better.”
He grinned at that and rose up a bit. “You were certainly making some lovely noises, (F/N).” He purred, his hand not leaving your core and it made you squirm all the more. “But now, there’s nothing? Why is that?”
You bit your lip a little, looking to the side. Given your line of work, you definitely not what high society would call a proper lady. And, to be honest, you wanted to give that to Ciel. He deserved someone who could be that. However, the finger curling inside of you made you think otherwise.
“Now now, there’s no need to be a proper lady with me, my love.” He smirked, seemingly reading your mind. “I want to hear your voice calling my name again.”
“You’re too perceptive for your own good.” You breathed out, your legs opening up a bit to gran him more access.
“I don’t think you’d have me any other way.” He grinned back and let his other hand undo the buckle of his slacks.
You could only smirk at that, “Like I said, too perceptive.” Ciel immediately leaned forward and trapped your lips in a kiss, the both of you heatedly nipping and sucking each other’s lips and tongues. He was easily able to draw soft mewls from your mouth as his hand began to work at you a bit faster down below.
“Louder.” He growled, kissing back down your jaw to nip at your neck. He slipped one more finger inside of you, making your hips rise to press into his touch.
“Ciel….” You whimpered, biting your lip, “Don’t tease me like that.” The dream that you had was effectively a big tease in and of itself since it wasn’t real. But now that your husband was right here, effectively holding back to give you any release, well, it was driving you mad.
His hand trailed up your side, lifting your nightgown until it sat above your breasts. “I’m the tease?” He asked, his unoccupied hand gently cupping your right breast. “Can you imagine my reaction, to see my wife moaning and gasping out for me in her sleep?” Ciel’s head dipped to give a small lick to your left nipple while his thumb gently played with your other one. “My god, it was enough to make me forgo any thoughts of sleep.” His lips wrapped around it, sucking it just enough to make you gasp, but not enough to fully satisfy you. He was wanting to draw this out.
“Please….” You whimpered again, not sure how much more you could take. The both of you have been starved of the other’s touch for a while, each of you desperately wanting this. You’ve had just about enough.
Sitting up abruptly, you flipped the both of you so you were straddling his waist, your breath coming out in pants. After the momentary look of surprise, Ciel grinned and placed a hand on your hip, rubbing circles there with his thumb. “That’s it….” He egged on, raising his hips to press against your core.
“Now who’s the tease?” You groaned, easily feeling his bulge. Raising your arms, you slipped off your night dress to reveal your bare self. “Especially since now you’re the only one with clothes on.”
Ciel swallowed hard as he gazed at your (S/C) and (B/T) form. If he thought you glowed from the moonlight before, you definitely were now from the slight sheen of sweat covering your body. “I suppose…that is a bit unfair.” He conceded, sitting up at the waist and unbuttoned his jacked and dress shirt, all the while placing soft kisses along your jaw until your lips connected.
That’s when your hands took over and all but finished ripping the shirt off of him and throwing it aside. “That’s better.” With his toned torso now bare, your hands trailed down it, loving the feeling of his chest rising and falling, clearly as excited as you were. Reaching down further, you let your fingers dance over his clothed member, a teasing grin on your face. “Hmm, what do we have here?” You teased, rolling your hips against his that elicited a small groan from the both of you.
“You know what it is.” He growled, his hands squeezing your hips.
“I do, but patience my love.” You purred and pushed him back down. Sliding down a bit, you laid between his legs and eased his trousers down along with his own undergarments. Your (E/C) eyes flickered back up to meet his own stark blue one, a knowing look on both of your faces. Opening your mouth, your tongue gave a firm lick to his cock, making his hips buck immediately. You loved how sensitive he was when it came to this.
Humming in pride, you wrapped your lips around the tip, one hand finding his and the other massaging your fingers around his base. Soft slurping noises were now paired with Ciel’s moans, his hand holding tightly onto yours while the other fisted your hair. It was nice to have the strong Watchdog effectively turn weak under your hands and lips.
You knew what made your husband ‘tick’ so to speak. And you definitely were doing that. You brought him to close to the edge several times by gently grazing your teeth against his underside or rubbing your tongue teasingly across his tip. His pants began to be more frequented with growls as you kept edging him. “(F/N)….” He growls, his eye narrowed at you.
“Yes?” You asked innocently, placing a gentle kiss to his slicked up cock.
“While I said I did not want you to be a proper lady, I didn’t mean for you to tease me like this.” His hand tightened in your hair as you giggled against his member, making his hips jerk.
“You should know by now that for me, they’re on in the same.” His eye flashed at that and he quickly picked you up and put you on your hands and knees. Ciel rubbed his tip against your aching core, making you mewl in need.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.” He answered back, slowly sliding just the tip in now. “Speak up.”
He knew just how to tease you as well to make you soft in his hands. Your back arched as you looked back at him. “Please….” You whimpered, the smirk on his face growing.
“Please what?” He asked back.
“I-I need you, inside.” Your hips shimmied and tried to back to engulf his member, but his hands held your hips firm. Ciel let your whimper and whines continue, not giving in. He loved seeing you like this, completely submissive in this situation as opposed to your daily life that consisted of orders and killing. Oh how he loved you.
Your body began to tremble as he stayed in that position for a few moments longer, panting and doing your best to be patient. “That’s my girl.” Ciel’s deep voice hummed before his hips connected with yours, making your head jerk up with a gasp.
Hands gripped the bedsheets while he thrusted into you, his hand roaming your back while the other stayed attached to your hip. This was pure bliss for the both of you; moaning, gasping, calling out each other’s names. But, the teasing you gave each other as well as being intimate after so long quickly made both overly sensitive. It was much shorter lived than you would have liked, but, damn it, he was too good and he felt the same way about you.
The moment his hand reached around to rub your clit was your undoing. You screamed out his name as you came undone, your torso collapsing onto the bed as your body shook.
Ciel gave a low grunt when you came, definitely not expecting you to come so quickly. But he soon followed with one more thrust deep inside of you, your body happily taking whatever he gave.
If you didn’t feel full before, you certainly did now. Ciel collapsed back on the bed with you, pulling you close to his chest and snuggled into your neck as you both soaked up the other’s presence.
“You should wake me up more often like that.” You giggled, your hand finding his wrapped around your waist.
“If I did, it wouldn’t be nearly as surprising though.” He placed a soft kiss to your cheek, slowly sliding out of you and pulled a blanket over your forms.
You smirked a little at that. “What, don’t want Sebastian coming in to see us bare?”
Ciel rolled his eyes and pinched your side. “I’d rather him not see you.” His hand found your left one, gently thumbing the ring that sat on your ring finger. “You’re mine.” He said a but possessively.
You nodded your head, your (H/C) hair tickling his face. “I know, I know.” Your hand squeezed his and you snuggled into his chest. “And you’re here. Thank you for coming home.”
Ciel smiled and pulled off his eye patch and tossing it aside. “I am. I always will be.” Giving you one more kiss, he sighed blissfully. “Have a good night.”
“You too.” You answered back, your life was perfect.
Hi!! Can you do an undertaker, Sebastian, and Ciel with an S/O who is an assassin?
Here it is my Anon! I hope you enjoy it!
Undertaker and his Assassin S/O
He knew what your profession was from the moment he saw you. In his previous line of work, afterall, he ran into several of your kind. Or perhaps it is better to say, the targets of your profession.
It was a little surprising to him though to find out that he developed a target on his head. No doubt from a disgruntled customer who assumed the measurements were wrong on the coffin. Or, at least that’s what he assumed.
But, considering who he is, he was definitely waiting for you to show up, giggling all the while. It was a bit unnerving to have a target be laughing at their imminent demise, but you brushed it off as a coping mechanism.
Even so, he was…frustratingly hard to kill. Your usual tactics of ‘grab and take them down in a headlock’ weren’t working. Not because you weren’t strong enough, but because he kept weaseling out of your grip somehow. You blamed the soft long hair.
Yet, after your first few failed attempts, it was obvious the Undertaker saw it as more of a game than a threat on his life. Which only served to annoy you.
After a few more unsuccessful attempts, you screamed, “Just let me pin you!”
To which he grinned and shook his head. “But if I let you, that means you leave.” His voice took a deeper turn as he brushed his bangs to the side. It made you shiver, those irises weren’t normal. And you’ve looked into many a dying man’s eyes to know that.
With a frustrated growl, you sat down on a coffin (since he didn’t have chairs in his funeral parlor, weirdo) and crossed your arms. “Looks like I’m not going anywhere then.”
He laughed and turned around. “I wouldn’t have it any other way dearie. Don’t worry, I don’t mind sharing my bed when you get tired of this silly bounty.”
You could only stare and purse your lips. Truly, it seemed like you would not be getting out of this anytime soon. But perhaps…that wasn’t so bad.
Sebastian and his Assassin S/O
It was nice to see you back after all these years. Pretending to be something you were not born to do. To think, the once proud royal assassin of Ancient Egypt, a lowly baker barely scraping by in London. It was a bit saddening to see your potential go to waste.
But no matter, now that he found you again after all these centuries, he would not be letting you go.
His first priority was to watch and observe. How were you with others that have wronged you? Who were far too rude for your liking? His eyes gleamed as he saw your hand twitch towards a bread knife after a particularly annoying customer walked away, but you retracted your hand. The frustration on your face said it all.
But, he needed to see you in action. He desired it in fact. After all, that’s how you won the demon’s heart. Perhaps having done so many ‘good deeds’–or as good as can be for a demon like himself–the dark one decided to reward him and bring you back.
Shrouded in all black, he followed you on a rainy morning as you headed to the bakery. You knew you were being followed, he was making it quite obvious actually. But after several particularly annoying customers, this was the last straw. And if the law came after you…well, self-defense was there for a reason, right?
Rounding a corner, you immediately scaled the brick wall, holding onto the ledge of a window as you waited for your pursuer to follow you. Taking out a knife and putting it in between your teeth, you watched the round the corner as expected.
As your figure came plummeting down, intending to stab the man’s throat, you found yourself slammed up against the wall, a hand around your throat.
“My, it seems you still have it after all, don’t you my dear?” A silky smooth voice whispered in your ear. In your heart of hearts, it was distant, but it reached out to the voice. A name was ringing in your ears, begging you to say it. But the moment you opened your mouth, you found a pair of lips on yours and two shining red eyes staring back at you. As the man pulled away, he gave a peck to your nose. “I have a new name now. Call me Sebastian.”
Ciel (Adult) and his Assassin S/O
He had to admit, when he required your assistance as a plus one all those years ago to take out a target, he never expected to actually develop feelings for you. But, yet here he was, you on his arm laughing at a noble’s joke and a ring on your finger.
As the noble walked away, your expression darkened and turned to disgust, swiftly picking up a champagne flute from a server’s tray. “I can’t wait till he’s six feet under.” You muttered.
He couldn’t help but chuckle a little and press a soft kiss to your head. “Patience my dear, all in due time.” You couldn’t help but sigh and lean into his touch.
He was right, but you could wait since it was for him. Now that you were in a very public marriage with Ciel, it was much harder to take on assassination jobs. But he was good to you, he knew you liked it, so he pulled some of his contacts in the underground and was able to secure targets for you. He spoiled you like that.
As the hour chimed, you downed the rest of your glass and handed it to your husband. “I’ll be right back.” You said, turning to flash him a bright smile. “Don’t miss me too much.” And with that, you went off to go persuade the noble to a more…secluded area.
He smirked and nodded his head. You both knew you’d miss the other’s presence. After all, two dark souls attracted one another.
Around eight minutes later, you sidled back up to him with a little sigh. “My love, it seems that one was taken care of in record time.” He mused after glancing back at the clock.
You were efficient to say the least, but it was more fun when they fought. “Next time, get me a more challenging one, yes?” You asked. By no means were you upset, if anything, the target had some nerve to be so easy. Perhaps it was all the drinks they had that did it.
Ciel wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close. “As you wish.” He leaned down and whispered in your ear, “My dear assassin.”
Black Butler X Reader: Choose your way! - Part 1: Phantomhive Manor (on Wattpad) https://my.w.tt/fPeEYxQTXab This is a (Reader Insert) choice your way story, so you will decide where to go or how you would react and every action will lead to another end. It's a Black Butler X Reader so you will get one of those following endings: Sebastian, Ciel, Grell, Claude, Alois, William, Finnian, Bard, Agni, Soma, and a lot more!
I do not own this. I just wanted to share this and all so I had a lot of fun reading so, I hope you gas do too.
When You’re Extremely Shy (and Have an Extremely Attractive Demon Boyfriend)
Request: hello... this is my first time asking a request, if you don’t mind, can you write headcanons for Sebastian Michaelis with a significant other who has Fluttershy personality type? I’m really sorry if my English really messed up, and feel free to ignore this if you’re not feel like it ((> ωㆁ) have a good day!! (*´ω｀*)
Title: When You’re Extremely Shy (and Have an Extremely Attractive Demon Boyfriend)
Genre: mostly floof, might be some comedy in here (it’s really mostly floof tho lol), super super s u p e r slight angst
Pairing: Sebastian Michaelis x GN!Reader
Notes: Okay, so this provided many an idea for me. When i read this a flood hit me, and all I can say is thank you oh so much for the prompt!
Ideas like this are what keep me going (especially now, to be honest-), so when I see requests like this, I have to go for it. Like, immediately. With that said, though, I feel the need to say that the last time I took in anything about MLP was a long time ago - to say the least... - so I might be a little off about the personality of Fluttershy, but I hope that it’s sufficient for you either way.
Also, a warning: there is a very brief implication of abduction and drugging. Proceed carefully, if you do proceed.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! (And don’t worry about you English, it’s great! Keep it up!)
Below the cut!
alright so
this time period is a little bit perfect for a person of this type
b u t
it also means that you are more susceptible to attacks by supernatural forces
since
well
y’know
super shy, super quiet, super timid
the best target for most supernatural beings as well as creeps, murderers, etc.
really, it kinda sucks that it ends up that way
but on the bright side, that is how you met sebastian and ciel
you had been separated from your parents
and had been waiting for you caretaker to return
when someone had grabbed you when petting a stray animal beside the entrance you were waiting at
they had attempted to slam a rag over your mouth,
and they managed to get the rag over your mouth
but someone had been thrown back before anything further could happen
the rag hit the ground, and a small boy and his butler
(you assumed)
came from a shadowed area
and the rest is history!
you had soon become obligated to work with ciel for funtom company collaborations
(your parents were often busy with meetings, and you were going to take over the company as the heir)
so you would often see sebastian
he’d carried you back to the phantomhive mansion after the attack
and it was there that you froze up after finally getting a good look at his face
and h o l y s h i t was he attractive
yeah, you went tense from that point forward lol
flustered
very obviously so
you two did bond over something unexpected, though
you and ciel had gone out to look at manufacturing processes for a new experimental collaboration project
and sebastian accompanied, of course
but it was when ciel had gone to talk to the head of the plant
(or rather demanded that they exit the building to talk privately)
that you had noticed a cat sitting by a box not far from the plant
worried, you walked over and raised your hand to the animal and let it sniff you before you pet it
and it was adorable
purring came about not long afterwards, and it started to rub itself against your arm and hand
sebastian was made to watch after you while ciel handled what was needed
and seeing that you had disappeared, he went to find you
and find you he did
the cat had gotten so comfortable with you in that period of time that you were holding the fluffy animal
the both of you looked so tender
and that was what drew sebastian further to you
on multiple occassions you were very accomodating to guests, and were a very nice guest yourself
super sweet and super gentle, especially to kids
now, listen
this wouldn’t have normally caught sebastian’s attention
but with the way that you had been handling every other situation by this point, this only added to your character
you had already shown your immense compassion and care so seeing that being extended to children-
he doesn’t normally get interested, but this?
yeah, the demon was extremely taken by you
now
he only found all of this out by observation
you never really exchanged any words with him, you only did so to ciel or someone that you were absolutely obligated to
and even then, you were stuttering and/or mumbling
it was very quiet, you were very quiet, and the way that you approached speaking in general only enforced that
(possibly even to a borderline extreme extent, honestly)
you first spoke to him when you had an issue in your guest room, though
somehow, someway, a mouse had snuck into your room
you wanted to remove it, but you wanted to do anything but hurt it
you knew that if any of the other servants had found it, chaos would ensue
and that would mean that ciel would likely order for it to be killed
you wanted that avoided at all costs
so you went to the most reliable servant for help
“s...s-sebastian...?”
your voice sounded almost...dainty
“yes, dear?”
“could-could you help me...for a second?”
“yes, of course. what is the issue?”
so, you tried to speak
and it didn’t come out
too many words, too little time, and way too much anxiety to speak them
so you gestured to your room
(or the stairs, rather)
“would you...f-follow me, in-instead?”
he remained silent, nodding
“do lead the way, darling.”
so you did
it was silent
not awkwardly so, though
you enjoyed that since most people you were surrounded with were very ethusiastic and talkative
you didn’t mind it in crowds,
(not like you liked those in the first place, though)
but when in a quiet space, it made things very awkward and tense
you hated that feeling
as well as sebastian
he loathed that tense feeling, he could sense the people in the room absolutely losing any true comfortability by the second
it disgusted him, frankly
but this was different
and when you showed him to your room, the mouse was gently nudging at your pillow
“i saw it running around and...and i don’t w-want it harmed...”
sebastian knew what you were getting at
“i’ll release it, then. my sincerest apologies for this event.”
he bowed
you froze, unsure of a response
“n-..n-no, no, it’s-it’s quite alright! um...”
you gulped
“..i just want to- make sure it is safe. thank you, sebastian.”
and so he did, releasing it into a corner of the garden that had been fenced in
finny was in another area, and you gave the mouse one last pat before it ran free
and that is what sparked this relationship
he noticed how you always reacted this way, and when the time would call for it, you’d go to him since he was someone that wouldn’t ridicule you for your nature
he always helped you aid the small rodents that wormed their way into buildings, always helped you get any stray animals back to safety
hell, he even did so with kids
you had run into a couple lost kids on multiple occassions, and each time you were sure to bring them to safety and do your damnedest to reach out to their parents
sebastian always made the process easier, and with time, you learned a few things from him
you began to pick up more on asserting yourself when it came to protecting the animals and/or children that you ran into
it shocked people to see your demeanor change when it came down to it, and the tone of voice you’d use would make them bend
“i’m not requesting, sir, i am demanding that you bring that animal to a shelter before any more harm comes to it.”
yeah, that?
that made sebastian proud.
he’d been the one to help you reach this point
you had often come to him to vent
(in your faint voice, of course)
about how no one would listen to you, and how you were ashamed that you weren’t more talkative and outgoing
sebastian had made it his mission to help you when these times would come
he began by letting you voice what you actually wanted to say
“perchance, would you m-...mind if i did so? it doesn’t seem improper to you?”
“of course not, darling. i don’t mind.”
“...alright then.”
and then it came out.
the anger, the pain, the worry - all of it
and he let you go crazy.
your parents wouldn’t, family members wouldn’t, little to no one would
after all, you were the nice, sweet, and gentle child of the (l/n) family.
no one would expect anything less from you
but they definitely didn’t expect anything more intense
and even then, it took a while to get others to accept the fact that you are more than your demeanor
it sucked that it took as long as it did, but it did bring you and sebastian closer
(if we wanted to stay on the bright side, at least)
either way, a huge amount of progress was made
and he eventually came to develop a relationship with you
ciel was asked to provide advisory over the idea
and, surprisingly, he allowed it
(it was mostly due to the fact that he could get a break from sebastian’s lectures, but hey-)
and now, you had another thing to leave you flustered
he truly loved your demeanor and your personality, the way you advocated for others without hesitation
really, he loved you for that
but he also loved to tease the everloving crap out of you
seriously, when you two would have a break from business, you both would relax in the library
books in hand, reading being done
until sebastian would look at you, leaned up against him and eyes focused
“my, darling, you look beautiful.”
and you are no longer existing, you have evaporated
(wishing sebastian good luck when it comes to dating a nonexistent being)
but luckily for him, you always return
and he never gets enough of teasing you
you’re cute, he can’t help it
(he won’t do it in public, though)
(he may be sadistic, he may be cruel, but even he knows where to draw the line)
overall, though
he would be a great influence to someone like that, simply due to his attraction to you
due to that, he wants to help you bring out the best in yourself in a more forward and clear fashion
(and he wants to spite the idiots that decided it was a good idea to ridicule you just because you had a more pacifistic approach to life)
Genre: a very angsty vent piece (that is one of two forewarnings), and a slight song-fic
Pairing: Misc. X GN!Reader
Notes: I never really thought that I would result to doing this, but here we are!
I’ve been dealing with a lot of conflicting stuff lately, and I can’t keep it in anymore. I don’t feel comfortable enough to tell my friends this stuff, nor my parents - anyone, really.
The feeling of being fairly anonymous calms that just a little, so here goes nothing. This is based off the Hero and Villain song, “Trust Me Not”, by Backseast Vagabond. If you want to, you can listen to it here.
And don’t worry, I will get to the requests right after this. I just needed to clear my mind before finishing the pieces that were requested - they aren’t forgotten.
Otherwise, this will deal with some intense topics, and some trauma-related aspects of relationships and such that I have experienced as well as suicidal ideation and extreme depictions of anxiety and anger.
Remember, if you do not feel comfortable reading this, please skip this piece. Please.
Below the cut.
“What are you doing, dear?”
Blank eyes, bags, and looking gaunt. Lovely.
“Aren’t you tired?”
Sniffling.
“God, what are you doing here? I don’t think that you were invited.”
Two different versions. Two different people. Of course, there was always two sides to a story.
“Here you go again, pretending that you love me....”
“When just beneath the surface, you’re convinced that you’re above me.”
Two people. One on each shoulder.
They looked similar, save for the fact that they were polar opposites. One happy, one depressed. One stable, one unstable. One actually living, the other simply surviving.
The image stings.
“Dig deep into the past, I’ve never been one for doing things half-assed - if I’m here to save you, I’ll be here forever!”
No. No, no, no, no-
“Just take my hand, I’ll be your knight in shining armor!”
I slammed my fist on the marbled counter.
Scene upon scene of the two of us flashed through my head, colors drained and atmosphere dull.
That used to be happy.
That used to be perfect.
What happened?
Was it ever perfect?
“You think you’re a hero?”
Then the tears come. They sting too.
“And they’ll tell you, you are!”
And now sobbing. I love this, really, it’s great.
It’s amazing feeling like shit, like you can never be happy. It’s great being tired, it’s great running in circles and trying not to drive off the nearest bridge when going to your parent’s house.
It’s great to be in a constant state of pain, and wondering if you’re leading them on.
They don’t deserve it. They don’t deserve me and my fucked-up-ness.
“’So stoic and handsome,’ and, ‘You’ve come so far!’”
Great, now my hands are bruised.
Though, I guess I kind of deserve it. Especially after what I started, I deserve it.
Nothing more than an asshole and an idiot, doing what I did and what I’m doing now.
How can I see their face again and still have the gall to embrace them?
I’m starting to think that all I’m good for is a good fling.
That seems like the only course of action that I can take without it hurting.
“You think you’re villain, but I know you’re not!”
Really now?
Really now?
I’m not a villain?
...
I don’t believe it. I can’t.
“Under all that angst and anger is a beating, human heart.”
Not true.
“What about the lonely little girls?”
“I’m sorry!”
Stop-
“What about her monsters who prevailed?”
“I’m sorry!”
Stop, not this, please not this-
“You never came to save my world-”
No-
“What about me?”
“What about us?”
‘What about us?’...
What. About. Us?
WHAT ABOUT US?
You never came for me when I needed you most, you only decided to come at the worst possible times.
You claim that you’re here to make me happy, you claim that you’re here to make things easier and help me get better, but you don’t! You never did! You’ve caused more harm than good more often than not! You’ve hurt me more than I could ever dream of hurting others!
And the worst part about it is that...you’re still me.
You are still me....
...Why do you have to be a part of me?
“I recognize that you’re upset, I know they did you wrong.”
“Oh, you know nothing of me!”
“Oh, you know nothing of me!”
I did it.
The mirror is now in shards, about a fifth of them lodged in my hand.
I couldn’t hear the shatter. I could only hear them...
Them, that nasty little prick of a voice that makes me ‘happy’...
“But trust me, please believe me - this won’t stop the hurt for long!”
Lies.
That’s all they are, just lies.
...right?
“We don’t need to end like this! Look me in the eyes...”
“Here comes the hero complex....”
Oh, the hero complex, indeed...
Gotta love it, being so stupid that you don’t even realize that youst head is shoved so far up your ass that you assume the red sheen over the world is your rose-colored glass when really it’s just the copious amount of feces clouding your vision.
“I may be a villain...”
“You call yourself a villain...”
Am I the villain? Truly?
“But you’re the one who lies.”
“But we know it’s a disguise.”
Yeah, seems about right.
I really must be the villain by now.
Especially now.
“So, you’re back at it again, twisting and manipulating every word I’ve said....”
Let me guess....
“Come on, you know that’s not true - I’m just trying to help you! Let me help you!”
‘I’m trying to help you! Let me help you!’
Yeah, seems about right.
“You are not my hero! You don’t know how it felt...”
Hitting the nail on the head, really.
The pessimist in me has always been right, from what I could observe.
“What else could I do with the cards that I’ve been dealt?”
The first one, the next one, the third, fourth, fifth, sixth....
This may be the only good ‘card’ that I’ve gotten.
“You are not the villain! You once held my hand.”
....
I can’t do this anymore.
“Stand up. Get out.”
‘Sometimes things don’t go as planned.’
I pulled my trembling body away from the mirror, blood dripping from my hands and tears staining my face. I was still struggling to breathe, and my heart was still racing.
But I can’t do this anymore.
‘NEW MESSAGE: Darling <3′
Delete.
I deleted the chat I had with them and proceeded to type out a long-winded response.
I didn’t know what else I was to do in this scenario.
‘Hey.
‘It’s pretty shitty of me to do this to you, as I don’t know if I’m really good for you. I’m fucked up, you’re not - you don’t need the baggage.
‘That, and I don’t know how I feel about dating. I know I liked you at one point, but now....
‘I don’t know. I don’t know what else to say.
‘At least, besides the fact that I can’t deal with this pain, and stress, and I don’t want you to carry my baggage.
‘I’m gonna disappear for a while, but I don’t want you to worry.
‘I’ll be in a better place then.’
I grabbed my car keys and checked my savings.
Getting the hell out of here would have never felt worse, really...but this needed to be done.
