It was about three or four in the afternoon at this point in the day. Loki had taken Millie off toward Undella Town, and Celeste had just finished recording a set of ocarina samples for Bijoux. The Sylveontaur had gone off toward the lake to take a quick break, leaving Bijoux by herself in the main clearing. The sun settled high in the sky, slowly heading downwards along with the passage of time, signaling that evening was on its way.
The Cinccino-taur sat there with a set of wireless headphones around her ears, head buried in her laptop, listening to the samples and stitching them together along with the samples of other instruments. The main rhythms sounded right; the ocarina mixed well with the shamisen notes, and some notes of piano, guitar, violin and drums accompanied things later in the track. There were minor blips; some things didn't sound like they had mixed smoothly enough, and she made small adjustments, tweaking things until she was satisfied with the way things blended together.
Bijoux looked up briefly, slightly taken aback by the approach of a shiny Roserade. She lifted her headset from her ears, hanging it around the back of her neck. She pressed the save function shortcut, pressing 'yes' when the program asked her if she was sure she wanted to overwrite the file she had been working on. She watched a progress bar showed up, keeping an eye on it slowly filling as the computer did its work. When the grass type addressed her, Bijoux moved the laptop to face away from the pair, listening while he introduced himself to her.
"Oh, you're one of MIss Charade's friends!" Bijoux trilled in discovery, looking down at the Roserade. "Yeah, I definitely know about that Meowscarada; Mom talks about her a ton. She's definitely got a crush on her… but with how easily she falls in love, I'm not sure how much Mom wants to act on that." She shook her head. "But uh… yeah, I think I've seen you around at least a time or two, if you're friends with Miss Charade. Mom said you were named after something to do with cards. You're mister, uh… Jack, right?" She stood and offered the grass-type a returned bow and a nod of her head, a gentle, welcoming smile on her muzzle. "Anyway, uh… you're doing soul-searching? Go ahead, ask me anything."
Bijoux listened to Blackjack's questions, letting out a small blush when he mentioned their gender identities. Sure, she was being more open about it, but it still felt slightly weird to have someone outside of her family and friend group mention it. Regardless, she nodded and thought carefully about how she could explain it to him, without overstepping any boundaries. Of course, she realised the Roserade was an adult, so she also didn't want to talk down to him in the process. She briefly eyeballed her laptop's screen, saw that her track had saved successfully, and closed the laptop when she was ready to address his questions fully.
"Well… my Mom actually transitioned about two hundred years before I was even born," the Cinccino-taur finally replied, rubbing her left hand behind her head. "There definitely wasn't an overlap of us discovering our gender identities together. I guess if anything, though, the fact that she had the experience and lived the same sort of discovery made it easier for me to come out as transgender. I didn't really always have the words to describe how it felt, but she did, and hearing her explain what it meant, that it was normal and valid to be… it was an incredible feeling to know someone had my back on the matter. That she not only understood, that she would go to any lengths to help me be who I was."
Bijoux offered Blackjack a broad, toothy grin, and let out a bit of a laugh. "It's weird. Once I came to terms with my gender identity, it was never really a struggle to figure out my sexuality and romantic preferences. I always knew I liked girls, and I still do, so I guess it wasn't all that surprising to come out as a lesbian as well. I guess that one was just another domino in the chain of events; you figure something out about yourself and a lot of times the rest falls into place."
The Cinccino-taur rose briefly, then stepped over to look at the Roserade more closely. It was only now that she realised that the grass-type was almost a full two feet shorter than she was. She knelt down in front of him, tucking her legs beneath her taur body to try and close the height gap between the pair. At least as long as she was sitting, she didn't have to look downward to look him in the eyes. She extended a hand slowly, steadily, to offer the grass-type either a handshake or a small pat on the shoulder, if he were to accept such contact.
"I'm going to be honest," she began. "I'm not here to ask you exactly what you hope to find with your soul-searching, mister Jack. I'm not going to assume I know anything about you other than that you're a friend of my mom's, but I do know that the most important advice I can give you is that, whatever you find, don't ever keep it entirely to yourself." She nodded sagely.
"I know I was extremely fortunate that my mom happened to have the same experience with her gender identity, and that not everyone necessarily has a friend who knows exactly what you're feeling. But if you have one friend you can trust, even one, then once you discover something, the best thing you can do is talk to them. Even if they don't know the words to describe your inner discoveries, it's better to at least know you can be honest with someone about those feelings, and know that they'll support you. And just because they might not know how to help, just having the chance to have someone listen is one of the best things you can have. And they might even know someone else who does know how to describe your feelings."
Bijoux held up a finger to signal for the Roserade to wait, before rising to her paws and heading to the grove's storage shed. When she came back, she had a small pamphlet in her hands. She knelt back down, offering it to Blackjack. Were he to look at it, there would be descriptions of different words to fit multiple gender, sexuality and romantic identities. Different coloured flags would accompany each identity, to correspond to each word.
"I don't know the exact feelings you have, and I don't have any intentions to make you tell me," Bijoux reiterated, her tail swishing half-heartedly behind her. "But when I first talked to Mom and we went to therapy, I took a few of these pamphlets with me. I thought at the time, maybe I wasn't completely sure of the way I felt. I read through the different identities, seeing what resonated and what didn't… but in the end, I realised, it was that simple as identifying as a transgender woman. At least, it was for me. Maybe seeing some of those put into words will help you a bit as you look through your heart."
Bijoux smiled warmly at Blackjack. "I hope that I was able to help you at least a little bit, mister Jack. Either with the pamphlet, explaining some of the history behind my identities… just, anything, really. But again, I feel like the most important thing you can possibly do is to search yourself for some answers, find the person you trust the most around you, and tell them about your discoveries. Maybe they'll know how to explain it to you in terms you both understand. Maybe they won't. But the nice thing about this, is that even if your journey is about self-discovery…"
"You don't have to do it alone."
