slow burn ~ part i
pairing: Noah Sebastian x Reader
word count: 2,049
cw: friends to lovers, confession of feelings, sweetness, tension?ish, just some high making out, let me know if i missed anything
author’s note: i’m having so much fun writing this mini series and admittedly did not proofread this don’t kill me!
The glow of your TV screen illuminated Noah’s face in a way you’d never noticed before. Not that you didn’t think he was beautiful, but right now you were captivated by him like you never had been before. It was like something was in the air tonight, other than weed smoke dancing with the sandalwood candle on your coffee table, and you couldn’t snap out of it no matter where you tried to change your focus to.
Noah threw his head back laughing at some joke made in the show and you felt the room go completely still. He was smiling ear to ear flashing those beautiful teeth that he’s quick to hide as soon as you “joke” that he has a pretty smile — although now you’re realizing you may not have been joking much. His laugh, God what a beautiful sound. There was something about that genuine, freeing laugh that always gave you a sense of comfort, like you knew he could really be himself and let go around you, something he didn’t grant many people access to.
Part of you was trying to convince yourself that it was just the joint you had shared earlier, weed always made your senses a little more heightened anyway, but another part of you also knew that your state was allowing you to finally give thought to what you’d been feeling for much longer than you’d like to admit.
You were grateful the show was keeping his attention enough to keep him from seeing your eyes glued to him. You knew you’d eventually have to come back to your reality but for now you wanted to take in this moment for as long as you could.
“Okay I seriously cannot sit through another episode. This shit is frying my brain.” You watched him lean forward to grab the remote and heard him but still didn’t move. Not even once he noticed your lack of contribution to the conversation.
“Hey..”
You only fully heard him and came back into focus when you felt his hand, incredibly warm and soft against your cheek.
“Hey, you okay?” Your eyes finally came into focus and met his.
“Yeah, sorry, just got a little stoned and quiet I guess.”
“Looked like you saw a ghost in me. Anything I should know? DO you see dead people???” He joked, sensing something was bothering you and trying to lighten the mood. He had always had a knack for being able to pull you out of your head.
Trying desperately to think of a smart ass response to his teasing questions… nothing.
When his jokes were met with silence, he knew to switch gears. His hand still warm on your cheek, you felt his fingers slide to your temple.
“Tell me what’s going on up here,” his smile faltered and any courage you had worked up to tell him in the last ten seconds suddenly vanished again.
“It’s not like you to be so quiet, especially after smoking all of my weed.”
“Hey! You told me we were even because I made dinner. I even used my expensive pasta sauce!” As much as you thought you were unable to break your temporary vow of silence you couldn’t let him slander your character like that without scolding him.
“Ahhh, she speaks!” Noah’s smile returned, his lips curling up at both ends, and suddenly, your determination to be honest with him returned too.
“But really, anything you want to talk about?”
You nodded up at him, when did he get this close to you? I mean sure, yes, he had been close enough to reach out and touch you, but it was like you blinked and he was practically on top of you. An overwhelming but comforting presence that you knew you never wanted to go without.
“Sort of,” you finally spoke up. “Can I kiss you?”
Now he was the one at a loss for words. He opened his mouth as if to speak but he stopped, taking you in, like he needed to make sure that he had really heard what you just said, and this wasn’t another one of his surreal daydreams.
Your mind started to race, what if he was pausing because he was trying to think of a polite way to turn you down? Why would he suddenly want to explore physical intimacy after years and years of being nothing more than a pair of friends?
“No.” Your heart sank to the pit of your stomach, there’s no way this was really happening, right?
“You can’t kiss me,” his voice was low, something in his tone darker than you recognized, “because I’m going to kiss you.”
You hadn’t even felt his hand slip to the back of your neck until he was gently pulling you further into him, your noses grazing each other.
The tension thicker than the smoke in the air, but begging to be cut.
Noah’s eyes had gone shades darker than his chocolate eyes already were, and the sight of his pure desire for you was becoming too much to take in.
As if he could sense what you were silently pleading for, he closed the small gap between you and pressed his lips to yours.
His kiss was tender and warm, saying everything that he had tried and failed to say over the years. You couldn’t fight your sigh at the feeling of him breaking away from the kiss to take you in completely again.
Looking at him now, it was like a veil was lifted. He had always been easy to look at, but suddenly you couldn’t bear the thought of having to peel your eyes away from him to focus your attention on anything else. Noah was an objectively attractive man in the eyes of anyone he crossed paths with, but it was like you were seeing him in an entirely new light now.
“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that,” he confessed, and you could hear the relief of getting that off of his chest in his voice.
He had thought about kissing you before? If you weren’t already melted into a puddle from his tousled hair, his soft lips and the warm hand lightly gripping the back of your neck, you certainly were now.
“Do it again, then.” This time it was your voice with darkness in your tone, and he wasn’t going to deny you when you commanded him with pure want, need.
In an instant, his lips were back on yours, more daring than the last time. Your lips began to dance together, and the second that you parted yours, his tongue slipped past. Exploring your mouth, your tongue met his, dancing together, wanting to know every part of one another. You could have sworn he let a quiet moan slip from his lips, and that only fueled your need that much further.
You felt for his free hand, guiding it to your hips, wanting to give him your silent confession that if he wanted you, he could have any part of you. You were feeling overwhelmed by the deafening clarity that you had been harboring feelings for him too without even really realizing it until tonight.
Even when it came to your platonic relationships, you had never been great at expressing your feelings or thoughts. That was one of the reasons you and Noah became such fast friends. He could always sense what you were thinking or feeling and knew exactly how to help you express or cope with it.
Taking your hint, he pulled your body closer to him. Not wanting any room for space between the two of you, not anymore, you deepened the kiss and swung your leg over his, straddling him.
At first, you hovered above him, nervous now that somehow he wouldn’t be comfortable with that and in an instant, you felt both of his hands at your hips, firm but gently guiding you to sit on his lap. Fighting back a moan, you felt him already hard underneath you. If you were already this flustered from a stoned makeout session on your couch, you couldn’t even imagine how much the feeling of his hands, or his cock would feel on you.
You grinded down onto him, not even giving your carnal instinct any second thought. You felt another low moan vibrate against your throat again, encouraging you to do it again, so you did, eliciting a whimper from him. A fucking whimper.
Then you felt him break away from you, hanging his head low for a moment, causing you to panic. Had you misread what he wanted?
“I’m sorry Noah, I just thought that-“
“Hey,” he cut you off, finally looking up at you after what felt like an eternity.
“Believe me, that felt really good,” his voice had somehow gone even lower, his eyes completely black staring into yours, and his visibly flushed skin peeked through the cracks of his tattooed skin.
“Like really fucking good, better than I imagined.”
The thought of him thinking about and imaging what just happened made your skin hotter.
“Then why did you stop?” You tried to hide the selfish disappointment in your voice and express your genuine curiosity.
“Because like I said, I’ve thought about this, a lot, and this isn’t how I wanted it to happen when it hopefully finally did.” He paused for a second, pursing his lips. “That’s not what I mean though, expecting that it would eventually happen I mean. I just, I’ve thought a lot about what I would do or say if I ever found out that you were also interested in me and almost cumming in my pants five minutes into making out is not it.” He half-chuckled looking down again. Was he serious?
“What are you saying Noah?”
“I’m saying that I’ve wanted to kiss you since the day that I met you. At first, I thought it was just a little crush or an infatuation with someone new, but every second that I spent with you, I started falling deeper and deeper, and then I realized that I’m in love with you.”
You had so many thoughts running through your mind, but only one word came out.
“When?” You weren’t even sure what you were asking, but of course, he did.
“Last year, when the band was overseas during the Europe leg, and I got sick and had to bow out of the last three shows. I was devastated, ashamed, and on top of that I couldn’t even leave until I got somewhat back on my feet.” Your heart sank again, you remembered how heartbroken he sounded, even underneath the sickness in his voice when he called you to tell you they had to cancel the last week of shows while he healed, how disappointed he was in himself.
“And I came to see you.” You dropped everything, used all your remaining paid time off for a “family emergency” you’d told your boss, and got on the earliest flight to Amsterdam you could catch. You could never forget the look on his face when he opened the front door of the Airbnb. It all made so much sense now, how did you not see it?
“And you came to see me,” he nodded, smiling to himself like he was back in the memory, “you dropped your entire life for a week all because I needed you, and I didn’t even ask you. I knew that I liked you for long before that, but then I knew that I loved you and that there was no way I could ever go without you.”
His grip on your hips had softened and you leaned into him, hugging him close with your head buried into his chest.
“I don’t know how it took me this long to see it, but I know that I’ve loved you for longer than I realized.” You confessed. “Well, what happens now?”
“Like I said, I’ve thought about this a lot. Do you trust me?” He guided your chin, causing you to look up at him.
Nodding in response, you knew you trusted him, more than you had ever trusted anyone in your life before.
“Well then let me take care of you, you'll see."
