#blaqstar

[blkdiamond]

I become sickeningly disappointing; to go from being a source of joy and hope to one of despair infused with anger. The joy of existence turned to ashes in my mouth.

I am haunted by the spectre of the eternally recurring nightmare, the low drone of the void draws me ever close to the long sleep. The sleep that will reset everything and reset nothing. Long may the suffering keep me wandering this earth, waiting for the end

[blkdiamond]

Standing against Indigenous Deaths in Custody

[blkdiamond]

I've got this hope in my chest

I'll see one more sunrise

Got my brothers good luck

around my neck every night

I've got this song in my head

It's got me thinking of him

My heart heavy with guilt

It's got my blood running thin

We hold fast, dead set

Hold fast, dead set

The only friends I count as mine

We hold fast, dead set

Hold fast, dead set

Are those who'd die to save your life

Got this burning in my gut

Got these words that I write

If I don't make it home

They'll know they're always on my mind

They'll know they're always on my mind

They'll know they're always on my mind

They'll know they're always on my mind

They'll know

We hold fast, dead set

Hold fast dead set

The only friends I count as mine

We hold fast, dead set

Hold fast, dead set

Are those who'd die to save your life

We hold fast, dead set

Hold fast, dead set

[blkdiamond]

19/11/22

I woke up with the cloud over me

The black dog stares from the darkest corner of the room.

Chest is heavy, but my mind is calm so the SSRI has me moving like Dom Magic Juan

Don King flow, my demise feels as certain as the botanical gardens grow.

I gotta do better, I try to do better but it fails

Should I continue to sludge through existence with tears in my eyes or dive head first into the sea and see where the current takes me.

[blkdiamond]

This is where I come to scream at the void.

There is no physically or emotional safe space. It is taken up by another that doesn't realise or verbalise the exhaustion I am in.

Too scared to start again. Too tired to leave. Too broken to cry and too medicated to care.

Good night, sleep tight, I hope there is some light at the end of this ever long and ever dark tunnel

[blkdiamond]

I don't know if I'm having another intense dissociative episode or is the current trend to now cancel people of colour.

There is a new trend surfacing and it's fucking ugly, but hey I'm just a guy and I don't know

[blkdiamond]

Promise that you will sing about me

[blkdiamond]

Always was