Blog Entry #9: Relationship With My Parents
The Individualization process was something I had taken interest in after I read up on it. Unfortunately, I had been absent for this class discussion, but I still looked into the concept and I found it something prominent in my life. See, my relationship with my parents has always been one where I challenge their thoughts and beliefs and I’m open to accepting their opinions even if my own began to differ from theirs.
My dad raised me to not immediately accept what other people told me to believe, telling me that I need to come up with my own conclusion on things and be more independent with how I interpreted things. This was interesting, as even if I was taught to always question what he told me, I always found myself agreeing to his perspective in things and began sharing his opinions on things anyway. At that time, the viewpoint I had questioned the most was my mothers, as it had gone against a lot of what my dad taught me. Such as not letting people get away with taking advantage of you, of not believing in superstitions, or in relying in a supernatural being in surviving in life. I thought my dad’s way of thinking was practical, and made sense, so I align myself with it. This however, caused friction whenever my mom believed differently, and I would question her on why she would allow herself to be kind to someone after they clearly took advantage of her kindness, or why she would believe in God so much. It took me a while to realize that my mother had a point with her beliefs as well, I just took a very long time to realize it because she wasn’t as assertive on her point of view as my dad was. After I got older, and wanted to understand how my mom thought, all her advice on being patient and being kind finally set root in my head and I understood where she was coming from. I used to think my mom was very passive because of how she reacted to things, like letting my dad boss her around, when my dad taught me to never let anyone take advantage of me. But then I realized that my mom may have been passive, but she was strong because she had the patience to deal with all of that when she didn’t have to. Understanding her perspective led me to learning from her as well and admiring her.
I love my parents. And lately, I’ve become comfortable with sharing exactly what I thought about things with them, and constantly asked them about their opinions on topics, and questioning them when I didn’t understand why they viewed something in a particular way. I used to do this a lot in the first place, but I’ve learned how to do it in a more respectful manner that doesn’t lead to me being called out for being disrespectful. I’m very grateful for my parents and their trust in me for me to be able to talk to them like that.