#blogging it

[rorymarieee]

August 28,2018

It’s been about almost 2 weeks since college started and I’ve cried I think more in these past 2 weeks than I have ever in my life..The only times I’m not alone is when my roommate is in the room to like sleep or when I’m in class..I eat and walk around campus all alone every day while I watch everyone else doing everything I’m doing but with a friend or two...I’ve been so used to being isolated and independent that coming here has been so hard...the number one thing I’m pretty sure my school pushes the most is making friends and it’s the hardest thing for me to do which I why I have none.. I just don’t have the personality to be able to go up to people and start a conversation and make friends..which is how all my roommates are and I just feel like they judge me for not having friends because they’re all out with friends and I just sit in my dorm all day and do nothing

[rorymarieee]

August 4,2018

I rewatched American Psycho last night and my god growing up watching it made me so interested in serial killers and gore and all that good shit...it also didn’t help that me growing up found Patrick Bateman so attractive 😫

[rorymarieee]

July 5,2018

I’ve been so overwhelmed lately..I started working for this business and I haven’t made any money yet because the stuff I’m promoting is either too expense and just people aren’t interested...It’s just so hard trying to get people interested when I literally only know people my age and people my age really don’t care about losing weight and whatnot... I just want to be able to make some money and I can’t even do that.

It’s been really discouraging me to even try now because I see everyone else who does it get customers or people to promote the stuff too and I’m just sitting here posting and wasting money I don’t have on products and no one is just interested. I’ve laid in bed and cried so much the past like week because I just feel so defeated and I feel like I’m going nowhere with this. Idk hopefully I can get people to want to buy some stuff or get people to do what I do and promote the stuff but I highly doubt it.

[rorymarieee]

June 15,2018

So I’m at orientation for my college and it’s a two day event..luckily today is the second and last day, but it’s so boring and awkward. Like they expect us to make friends with everyone that we were put into a group with, but instead I made like one friend and hung around with her all yesterday and so far today..it’s okay I guess but like we’re both just sitting here on our phones not saying anything..probably because we’re both so exhausted since these beds in the dorms are really uncomfortable and they squeak every time you move.

I hate it and I just wanna go home already but I can’t until tomorrow morning and I just really really hate it here..

[rorymarieee]

June 3,2018

So it’s been a fucking while...well for starters I graduated high school which I guess is cool idk I mean by the time I got to my senior year i literally only had my boyfriend as my friend..he was/is still like the only person I truly talk to on a daily and hang out with...I went from having like a pretty good amount of friends to just my boyfriend how great 🤙🏻

I also have orientation for college like next week and it’s for two fucking days 😒 so during those two days I’ll be alone with complete strangers and God knows I’m definitely not going to try and make friends with any of them because what’s the fucking point..I’ll just be spending my college fun class or in bed anyways 🤷🏻‍♀️

[rorymarieee]

April 12,2018

I made the decision to actually sit down and watch Criminal Minds in order since I normally just watch it with my grandma when I visit when it’s just the marathons on T.V.. And my god am I addicted ! I just constantly want to only watch Ceminal Minds and do nothing else. I am obsessed with watching the “relationship “ Morgan and Garcia have on screen and it makes me want them together so badly 😭 But then we have the star of the show Dr. Spencer Reid the one and only man who could make me leave my wonderful boyfriend.. he’s just so precious and adorable and the brain that kid has is 😍😍😍😍😍😍 I just love how the rest of the team is willing to protect him at all cost even if it means risking their lives, it makes me appreciate and love the entire team even more. Anyways now you guys know that I’m extremely obsessed with Crminal Minds and Spencer Reid 💕😍

[rorymarieee]

March 27,2018

Relationships are hard and accepting that your partner isn’t perfect nor will the relationship be as perfect as the ones on movies is hard to accept..at least for me it is.

It’s just hard trying to make it perfect since as long as I can remember I’ve been around failed relationships from family and I always thought that they just weren’t trying to be perfect enough..like they didn’t try hard enough to be like the ones in the movies...

After my parent’s divorce I knew I didn’t want to end up like them so I vowed to make each and every relationship that I have to be 100% perfect...to this day I still try to make my current relationship as perfect as can be but it’s just exhausting since no one can ever have a perfect relationship.

Relationships are all about forgiving and trust and growing with your partner and knowing that you’ll make mistakes and so will they. And having this expectation of your partner being completely perfect is so unrealistic ( which is what I have to remind myself everyday).