#blogging with

[soulmason]

sanchez-dani said: I want to be sorry… or well no, I don’t, since I’m not.

Don’t be sorry. The harder you make us work now the better the performance will be!

Which means we’re on track to have a pretty kick ass performance, I think.

[soulmason]

songsaboutjanehayward said:These are unconventional pets. I’ve never met anyone who raises ducks. How did you come by them?

We McCarthys are unconventional by definition.

My sister went to the zoo and they had some babies there, and she told me and my best friend, Elliott, that she wanted them, and then Elliott told her about this duck farm you can adopt ducklings from and...well, now we have four ducks. I wasn’t even told it was happening, I just came home one day and bam, ducks! There’s one for each of us, and then one each for a couple of our friends.

[soulmason]

soulmadison said: My baby…

He misses you. All the duck kids do.

[soulmason]

I love you, Mace Face.

I love you too, Maddy. So much.

[soulmason]

makeastarchild replied to your photo:Instagram: @masemasemcC uploaded a new photo!#tbt...

A Gibson Les Paul!! Is that yours?

It sure is! He’s my baby. He was my high school graduation present from my parents--everybody else got cars, I got the best guitar probably ever, haha.

You said you were learning to play, right? Next time you come over we can practice together!

[soulmason]

sexysaucysam replied to your photo:Instagram: @masemasemcC uploaded a new photo!#tbt...

…damn.

Haha, thanks! I think.

[soulmason]

[self; private]

It's been a wild couple of days. What the hell did you get yourself into, McCarthy?

Running into Elliott, I think, was one of those...what do they call them, lightbulb moments? Lightning moments? Whatever, one of those moments that ends up meaning a lot and changing a lot. Five days ago I had tangential knowledge of the people in the show, and now it seems like I know all of their deepest, darkest secrets.

Which is totally nifty! And I know it's an exaggeration, but it feels that way. I've never even had a conversation in real life with most of them, and yet here I am, planning to hang out with them and offering my couch if they need it. I know everybody's nervous this close to a performance, and that actors are by nature kind of overdramatic, but like, wow. Maybe I picked a bad time to make myself visible.

But at the same time, they seem like really nice folks. Madison would like most of them, I think. And I do hope Blaine starts feeling better about everything, and that they make sure weird casting stuff doesn't happen in the future. And I hope yoga goes well, not to mention rehearsals! I just...it's a lot to take in. They already have their own little friendgroup, and I don't know any of them. At least, not yet. Maybe this is my ticket in.

Into what, is the question.

I wish Madison had been with me. She could tell me what to do. Which one of these new people is actually worth the time and effort to get to know. Or maybe she wouldn't, and she'd hate all of them. I am better with new things than she is, but she always knows what to say and do. And they're all so much older than us! I want them to like me, of course, but I also don't want to pretend to be someone I'm not just to impress them. They're all busy with their real lives and their real drama and they've been through the ringer a few times--and this is my first round, it feels like. I really, really hope I don't mess this up somehow. I don't want to be that annoying lowerclassman that wouldn't leave them alone. I hope they're not all talking about how awkward and weird I am--although I guess I wouldn't blame them. I am awkward and weird. I just hope that's a good thing.

Sigh. I think it's time to go to bed--another late night. Madison's gonna be mad when she finds out I keep messing up my sleep schedule.

Maybe I'll curl up with Lion King. That'll knock me out.

Everything will look brighter in the morning, McCarthy. It always does.