#blupost

[valkyrieblu]

Woke up to find no one milking my gock in my sleep.

Whats even the point

[bluengiespy]

Spy - An Autistic Analysis.

This includes a lot of headcanons.

Note: He would actually not be canonically diagnosed with autism due to a lack of proper research during his time period, but in my fic canon I consider this to be true.

Also, this is true for RED Spy as well, but I'm chosing to talk about BLU Spy specifically because well, he's my favorite. But yes, as a clone of course it applies the other way.

Spy has always been very particular. He has certain routines. He listens to the same music, likes a lot of the same food.

He has certain clothes he wears. Textures particularly, he can't stand anything rough. Everything he owns is soft and silky. This is especially noteworthy with the fact being that his suit is custom and not official uniform. The company intended for him to just wear his uniform when he was originally cloned but he was very adamant that "his clothes" be returned to him even without being aware of himself being a clone.

He rarely likes to be touched by people. He also doesn't like touching a lot of things either. He's usually wearing gloves, which is partially a cleanliness thing and partially a sensory thing.

In conversation he's overly formal, as if following rules he has for speaking. He's suave, yes, but it's practiced. Though he can also come off as rude and uncaring with his bluntness when he doesn't care for certain things.

Spy very picky, in fact. He doesn't like certain foods and can end up not eating as much as he should because of it. People might see it as a snobbish need for certain foods, but it's generally just certain dislikes.

He has a very specific interest in mid to late 1800s. This includes the Victorian era but is not wholly encompassed by that as the Victorian era is typically in reference to British history. Art, music, books, it's a lovely sort of time period that he is always trying to learn more about. He can be very particular with the details of different decades and is completely frustrated when people act like the whole century was one cultural monolith and not full of variety in fashion and differences over the years.

Spy can get very overstimulated. Certain smells and especially sounds bother him very much, so if overwhelmed around the base he tends to retreat to his smoking room and pace about and smoke while listening to one of his favorite records. The smoking room, notably, was originally a sort of office space that he had claimed for himself because he needed somewhere to regulate himself.

Being autistic affects him in a lot of ways he doesn't really realize are part of the same thing, due to the fact being that a lot of this sort of thing goes unnoticed. The members of his team try to be aware of things and be accommodating in ways they can though.

[bluify]

The Six Queens as Stand-Up Comedian Quotes

Catherine of Aragon - Anjelah Johnson

When I first started telling people that I got married a lot of people were surprised, they were like “What? Oh my god I didn’t even– I thought you were a lesbian!” ... Surprise! Ponytail is ‘cause I’m lazy. Not a lesbian.

Anne Boleyn - Joel Kim Booster

When you’re a bad driver with this face it’s a nightmare. Let me tell ya it is no fun. I feel like I’ve seen every version of “Of course!” face, and I don’t appreciate that face. Every time I see it I just wanna roll down my window and be like “Excuse me sir, no no no, I’m not a bad driver because I’m [female], I’m a bad driver because I won’t wear my glasses and I text!”

Jane Seymour - Iliza Shlesinger

I genuinely feel that when women ask me “How did you guys meet?” it’s less about a genuine personal inquiry for me and it’s more like they’re digging for clues, like “WHERE DID YOU FIND A SUITOR? TELL US! WE WISH TO KNOW!”

Anna of Cleves - River Butcher

I am butcher than all of you. And by like, a lot. I can tell. When I got here a valet came running across the street and said, “Oh my god! Thank god you’re here! We have a bunch of manual transmission cars and none of us can park them! Please help us!” So I said, “How many ya got? 10? I’ll take two at a time, let’s get this thing done.”

Katherine Howard - Mae Martin

I’m having a weird year, I just got out of a long-term relaysh’. No really, like a 5 year relaysh’. I was in a long-termie. I was engaged, I was gonna get married! But I feel like the first sign that you’re not mature enough to get married is that you’re abbreviating relationship to “relaysh.” But we broke up in Decembs.

Catherine Parr - John Mulaney

I normally don’t notice people. I zone out constantly. Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? I’ve been zoned out since [1543]. I just– all day long I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast.

[valkyrieblu]

I need a girl to use my tits and gock as a form of stress relief.

Like; sit down and treat groping my tits like going on a smoke break “god i really needed this” while i whimper and tremble beneath their fingers

[bluengiespy]

my blu team! there's some more details that I can't really display here but this is how i would portray them with cosmetics at least!

[bluengiespy]

What the team thinks of Medic - As of the current point in time in universe (near the end of KMMD).

Note: While this is pre-transition I still like referring to her with she/her outside of the story (and those people I reply to on AO3 who don't know yet). It feels wrong to do otherwise! I've always been very straightforward about her being a trans woman being a major plot point in the next fic.

Requested by @violet-silverblood !

Scout: Scout trusts Medic. She always seems to know what to do on the battlefield, even if she scolds him a lot. Of course he always needs help! When they first found Spy's headless body, she told him to first stop panicking and then told him what he could do to help in the meantime while they figured things out. He's glad they have someone levelheaded on their team, but he can't say he talks to her much personally.

Pyro: Pyro trusts Medic a lot. While only for brief moments, Medic has seen Pyro's face. Pyro is glad that Medic still treats them the same, regardless of what perceived gender they have under their mask. They have a lot of health troubles when it comes to their lungs especially due to prior injuries from smoke inhalation. Medic always takes good care of them and makes sure she can help them in any way she can, and checks their oxygen tank and medical equipment to make sure everything is working well for them. They would "still" hate doctors if not for Medic. So Pyro appreciates that.

Soldier: Soldier doesn't particularly feel personally close with Medic. He trusts her, yes, he thinks she's one of the most valuable members of the team, but he can't say he's ever particularly spent much time with her. She's more of a doctor/coworker than a friend. She's just always so busy. Soldier does hold her in high regard for both her secrecy and her abilities in regards to certain things though. It's been a well-kept secret that Soldier is a trans man, since he hates the idea as being seen as anything else. Medic has at this point in time, already done his top surgery, which he was absolutely very happy with.

Demo: Demo can just tell there's something wrong that she's not talking about. She used to go on about how drinking so much is bad for his health, but she's stopped recently. She always has this odd look in her eyes, and he swears she doesn't eat as much as she should. He does a lot of the cooking, so he notices more than anyone. Medic always keeps a professional front with most of them, so its hard for him to feel like he's ever cracked that surface when it comes to her. He tries to always be the type of person you can talk to though.

Heavy: Heavy feels a certain way about Medic. He felt upset with her briefly for hiding the truth of being clones, but he understands why she did it. He still trusts her. The bond they have from their time together on the battlefield means a lot to him. Sometimes he comes to her with his worries, things about his family, and how it hurts him so much to know that they're not his. She's so understanding. She's all he has right now. He can tell how deeply bothered she's been lately, especially since everything that's happened to Spy. He wants her to trust him too.

Engineer: Engineer cares about her so much, but his attention feels divided. He hadn't even realized how little he'd been checking up on her until recently. He'd been so focused on Spy for so long, even before everything that happened. They were friends first. He lost sight of that. He feels so guilty. She always cared so much about him. After they found out they were both clones, Engineer gave all his attention to Spy in an attempt to distract himself from their situation. He's sure she felt forgotten. They used to be so close before. Is that why she won't barely let him help her anymore? Why she feels so distant now?

Medic: She hates who she is. She hates the person she sees in the mirror. She hates that she looks like him, hates that Spy sees his face when he looks at her. She hates that she's not good enough, that she has no real accomplishments compared to him. She refuses to hurt people for her research, at least, people other than herself. She'd rather tear herself apart from the inside than let herself become the same sort of monster as the man she was created from. Nothing she has done so far seems to lessen the self hatred she feels.

Sniper: Sniper doesn't trust her very much. It's not that she did anything wrong, he just doesn't trust a lot of people very easily. He especially doesn't like medical things, so part of that carries over. He doesn't like the idea of being examined, or touched, and he definitely doesn't like the idea of surgery. Since he's a trans man, of course she's offered certain surgeries, but he just hates the idea. He just gets his testosterone vials from her and handles his injections himself. She seemed to pity him when he said he doesn't have any memories of anything before they were cloned, but she hasn't talked to him about it since. It doesn't matter, it wouldn't change anything for him. They're coworkers, and that's really it for him.

Spy: Spy feels bad. He noticed that she tries so hard to be careful. To not move too quickly around him, to not make even an expression on her face that looks too much like the enemy Medic. She was nothing but gentle with him when she removed his stitches. She was the one who carefully stitched him together in the first place, even apologized as she put him under to do so. He's slowly been working on trying to not be so afraid of her. It's not her fault.

[bluengiespy]

BLU Team - Nightmares

I'm requesting this one myself hehe. Warning ahead for gore/blood mentions.

Scout: He's at a dinner table. The smell of blood is overpowering. A voice asks him, "What's wrong, Jeremy, honey, aren't you hungry?" Scout looks down at the food, and its an unrecognizable pile of bloody flesh and bone. He can't bring himself to get up, to move, to run. "Jeremy?" The voice asks again. He looks up, and he sees his mother sitting across the table from him. She has no face. She tilts her head, and the voice comes from her blank skin anyways, "What's wrong?" He flinches awake and looks around, practically expecting her to be there.

Pyro: They're drowning. Deep, down where the fire can't save them, they can't breathe. The water fills their lungs and it hurts. Every inch of them is fighting to stay alive, but there's nowhere to go. All they can do is choke. It's all just deep, dark water. They wake up struggling for breath even with their oxygen tube.

Soldier: He's being followed. Every time he turns his back he sees nothing, but he can feel eyes on him everywhere. He walks down dark alleyways with a gun in his hand. When he reaches a dead end, he spins back around, ready to fight whoever has cornered him. There's nobody there. When he wakes up he still feels like he's being watched.

Heavy: He's alone. It's winter, and he trudges through the snow while he clutches a bleeding wound. The blood is bright red against the snow. He just has to make it home, to his family... Or... He has to make it back to the team. To Medic. Yes, Medic will help him. The snow goes on forever, and his movements only ger slower. He stumbles, falls to the ground, and manages to barely roll himself over to look up at the sky as he bleeds out, alone in the snow. He wakes up alone.

Demo: He's late. He overslept and everyone left without him. He somehow makes it to the battlefield but for some reason he's never got changed and he's not even wearing pants! He can't find his grenade launcher, his stickybomb launcher... All he has is three empty bottles, and it doesn't help that he only has two hands. He turns the corner and that wizard tells him he needs to pay a fine of $500 or else the whole team is going to be evicted from the base, and they're all really upset about it but he can't find his wallet and... He wakes up with a headache.

Engineer: He's talking to a woman he doesn't recognize. He walks with her down long, empty hallways. The walls are smooth and white, the floor is a shiny grey, with not a single defect in either surface. Just smooth. He enters a room, and he sees rows of large glass tubes filled with a strange blue liquid. Asleep in all of them are his teammates. He turns to the one that holds Spy. Spy is hitting the glass from the inside, begging to be let out. He's drowning. Engineer can't manage to do anything. When he wakes up, he holds Spy a little tighter.

Medic: She's on the battlefield. Her horribly injured teammates cannot be healed. Organs spill out everywhere. They scream and beg for her help. She holds a gun to their heads and apologizes as she kills them so they don't have to suffer any longer. Then she hears him laughing, and she knows he did this. She corners him and fights the RED Medic with her bare hands. She pins him to the floor with her hands wrapped around his throat. When she looks down at him, she sees herself staring back at her. She wakes up and keeps herself busy with her work so she doesn't fall back asleep. She avoids looking in mirrors for a bit.

Sniper: He can never remember this one very well. He has it often. Flashes of blood and violence. He holds someone's hair tightly in his hand and slams their head into the ground over and over and over again. Someone over to the side, a girl, begs him to stop, asks him why he's doing this. He doesn't stop. When he wakes up, he barely feels real.

Spy: He has too many nightmares to keep track. In some red gloves hold his decapitated head. In some his headless body attempts to kill him. In some, the enemy Medic has him tied to his operating table as he slowly cuts into his skin with a scalpel. It is always agonizing. No matter what, he flinches awake. Sometimes Engineer notices and sleepily attempts to soothe him, telling him he's safe and running his fingers through his hair. If Engineer stays asleep though, he doesn't like to bother him. He slips out of the room and walks around the hallways of the base, smoking cigarettes until the fear fades away.

[bluengiespy]

Their thoughts about red team?

ooohhh so I've actually rambled about this before to someone on discord a little bit but i never got to make a post about it so I'm glad you asked!

BLU Team - Thoughts on their counterparts:

Scout: Scout is jealous. Incredibly jealous of RED Scout. Knowing that he's a clone, and that RED Scout will get to go home and see his family again, or talk to them on the phone and send them letters makes him so mad. Scout has such fond memories of his ma and brothers. But at the end of the day, Scout isn't Jeremy. RED Scout is. It's not fair. Everytime he sees that guy on the field he wants to cave his head in with his bat.

Soldier: An almost friendly rivalry! Soldier respects the RED Soldier for his combat and bravery. They regularly blow each other up and there are no hard feelings about it! War is war! In fact it's a little fun to have an enemy that's just like you. Soldier feels weird about being a clone, but he feels no animosity towards his counterpart for it.

Pyro: You're just like me, and I'm just like you. Pyro feels a strange connection with their counterpart. Knowing that they both share the same face, the same burn scars, it's strange. Nobody else knows what they look like but them. They're fascinated by the other, but they're enemies. They're not supposed to talk to each other.

Demo: Demo feels... bad for his counterpart. Almost a sense of pity. He understands what it's like to feel that guilt about his past, the crushing weight of family expectations. It's what led him to drink as much as he does. Demo feels a sense of freedom in knowing now that he's a clone but his counterpart? He doesn't get that freedom.

Heavy: Heavy is angry and bitter. What gives RED Heavy more right to be the real Mikhail than him? He remembers- to him, he was there. He fled with his family out of the hands of their oppressors back in Russia... At least... It feels like he did. Heavy just wants to see his family again, to know they're alright. But they aren't his. They aren't supposed to be.

Engineer: Engineer can't help but think the RED Engineer must be some sick son of a bitch. Spy had told him about how the RED Engineer sat by and helped the RED Medic with his experiments. He wouldn't trust him even if his life depended on it. His counterpart is loud, reckless, rude even. Engineer thinks he's more deserving of the name Dell Conagher than his counterpart ever was. Engineer tells himself he could never do something like that to someone like the RED team did to Spy. Not even to an enemy. Right?

Medic: She's fascinated by his work, but he disgusts her. She could NEVER let herself be like the RED Medic. Medic always finds herself in his shadow, unable to keep up with his accomplishments. The medigun, the übercharge... They're all things that are just an imitation of her counterpart's creations.

Is she unable to keep up with him because of her inability to do the things he does? Is she weaker, or does she just have a heart? Seeing the effects of the experiments done on Spy, she could never let herself hurt someone like that for her own gain. She still has that burning need for knowledge, to experiment. At least Medic has one always willing test subject to use, herself.

Sniper: Sniper doesn't know him at all. The RED Sniper is foreign to him. Sniper knows his name, Mick Mundy. He's from Australia. He wears a hat and sunglasses just like him, he lives in a van just like him, he even knows how to shoot and kill with a rifle. The rest? He's not sure. Sniper doesn't remember the rest. Mick might look like him, but Sniper isn't Mick. Sniper doesn't remember being Mick.

Sometimes Sniper stands at a broken payphone outside the base, knowing it holds some significance to him. But he doesn't even know who to call. Eventually, he might remember. Maybe if he holds the phone to his ear he might hear something. Maybe someday he could ask Mick himself. But he can't bring himself to. Not now.

Spy: Spy hates his counterpart. The RED Spy made these mistakes, these choices that haunt him. Couldn't he have found a way to not abandon his son? To not abandon the woman he loved? Spy might not have any desire to see Scout's mother again, but it haunts him. He hates the bitter, cruel man his counterpart has become over the years. Spy has seen the way RED Spy taunts the others on the battlefield after killing them, sometimes laughing at Spy's own teammates. Spy kills because he has to, but he thinks RED Spy must kill because he enjoys it.