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Chill Bill you have to stop. You smoke too tough. Your swag too different. Your bitch too bad, they'll kill you.

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FotW: SDMI - In Fear of the Phantom

Welcome back to Scooby-Doo Mystery Incorporated, and now we're getting into a problem many reboots and adaptions face - what happens when you try something different. Today's episode isn't really that special, serving as a bridging point between the next stint of episodes focused on the gang's love lives.

Except for featuring the Hex Girls of course.

Not to overshadow the main villain, which would be extra funny considering their backstory, but come on that's what y'all are here for.

Yeah, they got a bit of a redesign since their last few appearances in the two billion direct to DVD films. Fans DID NOT like this, and in a later episode they had to actually address the backlash while also scrapping these outfits for the original ones. They also steal Luna and Dusk's hair dye and gave Thorn's highlights a diminished role.

My personal opinion? Eh, I would've preferred a middle ground between the two, but for reboots I encourage designers to go all out since it's their own thing. So for Mystery Incorporated I would've either kept the redesigns or gave them completely brand new looks a second time. The OGs have a more cohesive aesthetic, but I like how MI experiments by giving each girl their own Alt style. It's probably Dusk who could probably use a new outfit though, since her Tank Girl getup doesn't mesh as well as Thorn's "Pagan School Girl" and Luna's "Lesbian Thespian" outfits do. Actually, maybe one of those Scene Kid reconstructions of School Uniforms would've worked better?

Oh yeah, this nerd.

Backstory: Like most lesbians Velma is a massive fan of The Hex Girls, snagging front row tickets for the Scooby Gang just in time for them to witness a "Phantom" try to murder Thorn on stage. As with every mystery the gang decide to take it upon themselves to do the cop's job to keep the concert going while protecting the band.

This leads to an exploration of the show's two main ships, Fredphe and Shoob - again, yes really.

This show is really good trust me on this.

Scooby outright calls Shaggy a cheater for going to prom with Velma instead of hanging out with him like they always do, and replaces Mathew Lillard with a wooden dummy much to Shaggy's chagrin.

Fred meanwhile comes out as nonbinary a teenage boy with emotions as he finally grasps Daphne's romantic interest in him. All thanks to an entire song written by Daphne where she uses Fred's special interest to get through to him.

Behold, one of the best songs made for a television show in history.

Before this spectacular moment of audio interposed with occasional Zelda CDI-level animation (to be fair are you even looking at the animation in the first place) we got some Phantom shenanigans. Mostly him responding to Scoob and Shag's ability to warp time and space by just setting them on fire, probably the most effective thing one these guys have attempted so far.

Design: Obviously a homage to The Phantom of the Opera, and as we go through the series, you'll start to notice a lot more homages that Wikipedia will kindly point out for you. Though you can also see a bit of Comic Supervillain in his design, so much so that he doesn't seem to fit with the show's own aesthetic. He wears a black full body suit with a gigantic, taller than his own head, Dracula collar and grim reaper-esque hood. He has a fabricated piece of his outfit that goes over his shoulders like Football Pads, but with a sleeker design as it attaches his cape to the main costume. His cape is black but its interior is lined with a sparkling holographic material.

His mask, belt, boots, and glovers are all made of golden mechanical pieces, as they actually allow him to charge up bolts of electricity to fire at the teens in our show. This tech is never explained, and he really only uses it a few times before forgetting he has these weapons at his disposal.

His mask is the best part of the outfit, legitimately cool while evoking a gas mask. It's almost like it was made out of several pieces asymmetrically stuck to each other with large bolts, like if C3PO was mangled in an accident and put back together with recolored bits of R2-D2. There are several short, cylindrical ports on his gauntlets, boots, belt, and mask that occasionally glow green.

Reveal: Shaggy, with an extensive knowledge of obscure musical groups as we'll be shown time and time again, recognized the shiny material of The Phantom's cape as belonging to a One-Hit Wonder named Fantzee Pantz. And once that's discovered it's pretty obvious that the other suspect, The Hex Girl's manager, is not the culprit as he was just as responsible for Fantzee's obscurity as THG.

No, the true culprit is the girl's songwriter, who first attempted to sabotage them through badly written songs but was thwarted by the girl's talent and popularity - So he then turned to just trying to kill them, and Daphne. He ends up taking Scoob's dummy to jail with him, but the original duo patch things up by then - letting us look back at Velma who got sidelined so badly this episode.

2/5 Goofy as hell design for a goofy character, probably the most "Villain of The Week" we've encountered so far. In fact, he'd probably fit in better in Miraculous Ladybug than this show. Not that bad otherwise, just not as impressive.

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Skylanders Review: Stealth Elf

Let's continue our adventure in Skylands with our first female Skylander, Stealth Elf!

Another body type you'll see often is...well, "girl". You'll see what amounts to a fairly humanoid woman whose main concept is "action girl" a lot, though they do at least experiment well when it comes to posing. The originator is Stealth Elf, who got ascended from Extra to main character in the tv show as the girl of the main trio. Though that's disingenuous, Stealth Elf is one of the "Elite" Skylanders, which means she gets a new figure almost every game.

Let's see what her deal is!

[Image: Stealth Elf is a humanoid...elf, with green skin and elongated pointy ears. All her clothing is made of brown leather, including her fingerless gloves, boots, leggings, skirt, V-neck crop-top, and Ninja-esque facemask. She has golden straps fastened around her gloves and boots. Her shoes have a cleft, indicating that she only has two toes on each foot. She has raspberry blue hair in a single long braid that reaches her lower back. Her eyes glow a solid vibrant blue with no visible irises or pupils.]

Stealth Elf is very clearly not my type of concept, as I never cared for Elves in most capacities played straightforward like she is. Though making her a ninja is a fun twist, and I remember liking her a lot in the Netflix show. There's this episode involving Ninjini (I'll get to her when we reach Giants) and Stelfy that I remember the most from the series.

She's a very simple design, and her face mask helps sell her ninja aspects while not putting her into a fully black ninja outfit. This however does not mean she doesn't get one down the line.

As Elves are natural beings who love and guard nature, Stealth on the shelf is our first Life Elemental Skylander. Life is also another Neutral type, for characters whose designs don't really read enough like the other elements, but also lacks the fantastical elements needed to be a Magic type. She was found as a young child in an old tree by a ninja master who was also one of the many sentient tree-people in the Skylands. Which is kind of like finding a baby primate nestled within the corpse of one of your distant cousins.

With no memory of where she came from, the orphan elf was raised with the art of ninjutsu TMNT style until her skills surpassed her master's, so she went off to Eon's place to learn how to improve her Element specific abilities and hopes to find out her true origins during her travels.

Not sure what else to talk about her, since she's a fairly solid design even if she doesn't really hit any marks that make me, personally, a fan of hers. I don't dock points if something doesn't satisfy my personal preferences.

Since I have nothing else to talk about, why not share these hard as hell images from a Skylanders spin-off game posted by @yourlocaltoad.

Motto: "Silent but Deadly" - Yes this is a fart joke, even though it doesn't fit but at least it works with her being a ninja. Bet they regret not saving this for the Ninja Skunk man they make later. 2/5.

Stealth Elf gets Three Chompies. Not my thing, but I can't fault her for that.

Stealth Elf unfortunately did not get a horrific Party City Halloween costume. SAD.

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Skylanders Review: Double Trouble

So um Yeah, we've covered 1/4 of the original thirty-two Skylanders, now we gotta' talk about Double Trouble.

[Image: Double Trouble is a um, "Shaman" character. His face is actually a tiki mask, with a rectangular shape that extends his forehead to a higher position. His mask has canine-like teeth surrounded by a rectangular, carved in lips, alongside a carved unibrow. There are also five additional quadrilateral markings above his unibrow that almost resemble SpongeBob's eyelashes. You can see his lime green eyes through the mask. There are several feathers decorating the sides of the mask, alongside a grass-skirt with a leather...fanny pack maybe? Its latch is tied around a cartoonish bone, and you cannot see any legs under his skirt so that's a cool detail I guess. Anything not covered up by his "traditional" garments reveals that he has blue skin, with humanoid features. He wields a staff topped with a crystal, with metallic fixtures surrounding it, and with more feathers decorating it.]

So um, remember the Witch Doctor and Shaman monsters from the OG Scooby-Doo series? Kids franchises really loved those wooden masks!

Okay these masks are really cool, and they are a great representation of cultures - especially with how humans all have the same idea of using artificial faces to intimidate others or put on performances.

But like, this is...not good right? I can't really say the devs who designed this guy deserve a 1000 years of misfortune for not being all that culturally sensitive, but look at him.

Better yet, look at the fact that most of his in-game dialogue is just different iterations of Ooga Booga. No seriously.

I am not comfortable with this, like his species is apparently "Tiki Man"??? I feel like if you want something Tiki inspired that has no connection to the culture actually connected to that imagery, you could at least make up a new name for it? Video Games are a half-visual media, so the connection would be easy to make through design alone. Here it feels kinda lazy just to call something "Tiki [Blank]", like calling the stars and stripes a "Flag pattern" in a world where America doesn't even exist.

The Tiki stuff is just aesthetics by the way, there is no other cultural influence because it's very clear he's mostly based on African Shaman stereotypes.

His backstory is basically the same as the Zebra from My Little Pony, and his name comes from the fact that he ate a special plant that gave him the ability to create clones with his already expert magic. The first positive I can give this character is that I enjoy him getting along with his clones despite the fact that they're all tiny bombs mechanically.

It gets even weirder because one of his beta figure designs is just a normal elf-eared wizard with no Tiki elements. Perhaps it was deemed too similar to Eon, but with a few redesigns it could've worked. Even taking Chompy Wizard into account.

Motto: "Boom Shock-a-locka!" I did not like writing this review. 1/5.

One. He gets one. The Bone Chompy of Death.

Did I mention that I will not do a full creature design review of the original Scooby-Doo! Where are You roster of monsters for reasons this review makes apparent.

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Skylanders Review: Gill Grunt

Now that we got the golden boy out of the way, we can get into the things that aren't Spyro! And believe it or not, that has more meaning in regard to this series than you'd think - but no spoilers! Let's start with the second Skylander ever introduced, if you bought the base game anyways, Gill Grunt!

[Image: Gill Grunt is a bipedal, humanoid creature with fish-like features similar to the Creature from the Black Lagoon aka Gillman! He has webbed feet and hands, and rounded scales on his limbs. He has blue skin and wears clothing that's a darker, Royal Blue color. Alongside some belts around his wrists, ankles, and waist, he wears something akin to a janitor's jumpsuit with the legs and sleeves cut off. He has wide fishy eyes with yellow sclera and orange irises, alongside fins on his head resembling ears and a mohawk. He lacks teeth, but his bottom jaw has two tusk-like jutting points coming from the bottom lip giving him a pseudo-underbite. He lacks a nose, only having nostril holes in the middle of his face.]

I genuinely cannot tell what this funny fish man is wearing, but I think I've seen anime schoolgirls wear the same thing to battle so he's clearly prepared for anything.

Gill Grunt here actually enlisted in the "gillmen army," but met a mermaid on one of his travels and fell in love. He promised to reunite with her after completing his service but found out that she was kidnapped by pirates after he left. He continues to search for her to this day, and works as a Skylander to combat pirates to prevent this from happening again to others.

Sources vary on whether or not he'll ever find her, or if he did after his many rendezvous with Spyro and his clique. Maybe she doesn't want to be found because she heard about his gillman war crimes.

As a fishman, Gill Grunt is our first Water Elemental Skylander, armed with both a hose gun and some sort of weirdly shaped trident launcher. He's a cute little guy, and he's definitely a good example of the other Water elementals. His story is especially interesting, though unfortunately we never get a fully fish-tailed mermaid as a core figure in the franchise despite how obvious I feel that should've been.

Heck, his story actually lends well to his girlfriend becoming a Skylander if he ever finds her while on Spyro's adventure, but I guess a few upcoming Skylanders fill the niche of singing Ningyo for the franchise. And as a retired war vet, he has enough seniority that he can actually recruit other Skylanders (specifically other Water elementals) on Eon and Spyro's behalf.

Alternates: Gill Grunt gets a slight redesign for Superchargers, now wearing golden armor with a helmet and water tanks on his back. He actually wields a real trident this time.

It's said that Gill Grunt loves singing, which is also what his girlfriend does, but his entire species is tone deaf. The book says it sounds like a jellyfish gargling on seaweed, so imagine that, because I sure can't.

Motto: "Fear the Fish!" - Yeah, a lot of these are just vague and absurd threats but sure Gill Grunt. The ocean is scary, so sound advice. 4/5

Nothing to write home about, but a solid little gill man. Three Chompies out of Five.

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Skylanders Review: Ignitor

Let's return to our regularly scheduled Skylanders Reviews with our next Fire Elemental, Ignitor!

[Image: Ignitor is a sentient ball of fire nestled within a squat suit of armor, the armor being a metallic blue with silver accents. His body is the armor more or less, which is mostly just a large helmet with the leg and arm pieces of the suit growing out of it. The helmet almost shares the same head shape as Optimus Prime. The top of the helmet is open, allowing tendrils of fire to flow out of it like hair or plumage. He wields a flaming serrated sword.]

Ignitor, formerly called Ignatius when he wasn't a sentient suit of armor, was once a regular knight of unknown species until a witch tricked him into wearing a supposedly "fire-proof" suit of armor to help him fight a dragon. Turns out, the armor was cursed, so the moment the dragon's fire touched him he was turned into a fire spirit. The cursed steel of his new shell bound his flaming spirit to the armor, leading to his current form.

He retains his personality, and now seeks out to find the witch who tricked him while working alongside the Skylanders. Cursed armor, sentient fire, and cursed armor filled with sentient fire are a classic fantasy trope that makes sense for this world so I'm glad to see it here.

His design is rather simple, but I like his funny proportions. One has to wonder if he became a head with limbs ala Modok before or after getting cursed. It's also nice to know that Ignatius took the curse in stride and never lost sight of who he was. Ignoring the potential spelling error in my reference guide, there's not much else to him. Besides it specifying how terrified he was of facing the dragon before the witch tricked him. Guess it's hard to read the fine print when you're shivering your timbers.

His simple design seemed to be his downfall, as he doesn't even have an exclusive skin for any of the mobile games. Which is a shame.

Motto: "Slash and Burn!" I mean, he does do that I guess. Pretty basic even if it's a threat he can carry through. 2/5.

3/5, a good entry that's been a bit forgotten. Carry on Sir Ignatius.

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FotW: SDMI - The Creeping Creatures

The Freak of the Week for today are the titular Creeping Creatures of Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated's second episode of its first season.

Backstory: The Mystery Gang begin to receive anonymous clues from a "Mr. E", a man who wants to lead them on the right path towards solving the true underlying mysteries of their hometown (in this canon) Crystal Cove. He first leads the gang to investigate the neighboring ghost town of Gatorsburg, a prospector town that built its economy entirely on Alligator-based products. Which seems to be the home of human-alligator hybrids.

Most mysteries need to settle on a single town, as this is before the gang gives up on their education to become world-travelling nepo baby sleuths. So it's fun to visit separate locations to build up the world of Mystery Incorporated, and a town that managed to latch their existence onto something more unstable than gold is definitely funny. Gatorburg is a wonderfully gloomy set-piece, the swamp casting a gloomy shadow over the remnants of a rundown tourist spot. Sad that we don't visit this place again.

The gang find themselves stranded in Gatorsburg, their entire engine missing, and thanks to a local hot mechanic's suggestion they decide to stay at a reskinned version of the Bates Motel - ran by the mechanic's sister and her gangly twink son. But before the meddling kids can rest, they are attacked by not just one, but three gator creatures who chase them out of Gatorsburg. Surprisingly, these bloodthirsty beasts refuse to chase after the gang once they cross the border.

Designs: We have three monsters to review! An entire family of gator hybrids with alligator bodies and human faces.

The "Patriarch" is the largest, heavily muscular even when on all fours with a lion-like mane of black hair. He also has a noticeable bald spot, and his face is so pale you could almost mistake it for a skull if it weren't for his glowing red eyes and tiny human nose.

The "Matriarch" is a heavyset, squat beast with a very humanoid face with red hair. Her face is similar to her brother's, only rounder, and her skin has a more blue-ish tone that contrasts nicely to the male creepers.

Finally we have the "Child", or I guess teen, who's the lankiest and funniest of the designs. He keeps all the proportions of a gangly teen, alongside black emo kid hair with the sharpest bang in the bayou.

Reveal: Rather than wasting time with the mystery, the episode chooses to focus on set up and action to tide you over until we reach the obvious conclusion. The Creeping Creatures turn out to be the mechanic, the hotel owner, and her son. All relatives, they were the remaining citizens of Gatorsburg who refused to abandon it like the others. So to bring money back into the town, they began making faux leather gator products to sell and used the gator people get-ups to scare away prying eyes to their illegal activites.

They must've really gotten into their role considering how much of their own property they destroyed through their raw strength. Once captured, the gang gets to leave and return to their status quo.

Huh, wonder if that'll have further connotations down the road.

5/5 - Ssscalies ssstay winning.

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Skylanders Reviews: Cynder

"While just an egg, Cynder was stolen by the henchmen of an evil dragon named Malefor and raised to do his bidding. For years, she spread fear throughout the land until she was defeated by Spyro the dragon and freed from the grip of Malefor. But dark powers still flow through her, and despite her desire to make amends for her past, most Skylanders try to keep a safe distance… just in case."

Read that bio alright? Yeah, that's basically all my knowledge on this character.

[Image: Cynder is a quadrupedal dragon with many similarities to Spyro, almost being the same shade of purple as him. She has magenta accents instead of mustard yellow ones, specifically for the webbing of her wings and her stomach plating. Her horns, wingtips, claws, and the tip of her tail are made of steel. She wears steel, spiked bands around her front legs/"wrists" and neck as well. The tip of her tail resembles the head of a spear, while her short horns go down the sides of her head - three on each side parallel to one another. She has a short snout, blue eyes, and magenta gecko-like patterns on her forehead.]

The Skylanders Netflix show gives her a few episodes of note, though she only has a slightly bigger role than Crash Bandicoot in the overarching story. Though Malefor, who's her dad I guess(??), is the one to tease Spyro's secret origins which we never got to see because the show ended on THAT as a cliffhanger.

Why did they make her neck so long in the show?

As for the game, she's an Undead Skylander purely because of her connection to evil. It's a bit odd, and I am honestly surprised Toys for Bob didn't pull a Pokémon when they got new elements later. Her dark evil powers seem to only center on electricity, called "Spectral Lightning". She can also call upon a ghost for allyship and burst forward as a shadow.

I feel like I'm missing a lot of history regarding this character, and would not be surprised if there was some hidden history regarding DeviantArt fandom groups and whatever ships you wanted to see her in.

Motto: "Volts and Lightning!" Okay??? 1/5.

3/5 Chompies. The Renamon of Spyro I guess? Tried not to let my lack of knowledge of Spyro canon conflict with the design itself, so I decided she and Spyro can share scores.