#boaia

[shadow-gackt]

#this is surprising

Why is it surprising?

[tiger-boa]

I'm Just Waiting Till The Firing Stops // Open Para

Frozen. That was the first thing she felt upon awakening, body shaking and mind cloudy. A cold that was present both inside and out, eating away at every bit of warmth it could find. Never in her life had she been so cold, so far removed from the touch of life. How she had gotten there was foggy and every time she prodded at the reasons or her being so far from her dorm - or what felt so far - her heart gave a lurch, reminding her of it’s existence. Only, the pain she found there made her wish that she didn’t, wish that it would just fade into the ice that it had been falling into before she’d tried to find it.

Everything and everyone left. Her parents, her friends, her family, her lover. A choked sob left her at the last bit and she hated herself for it. Hated this weakness. Hated that he’d found a way to make it so she’d never see him again. A mirthless laugh left her at that. She’s never see again so what was the point? Even Gackt had tried to leave. Even when she loved him, he’d been so adamant in leaving his life, so tired of living. If Hongki hadn’t stopped him she’d be that much farther from life. Maybe it was time for her to leave, to let go of the life she’d been so desperate to have, so desperate to hold onto. She wasn’t so desperate now.

Now’s as good as any cutie. Let go, we’ll catch you as you fall. Just let go and maybe you’ll find what you’re looking for in death.

The voices were back and she was too tired to fight them, exhaustion preventing her from running like her mind urged her to. It wouldn’t be so bad to die here. It was cold enough, mind hazily telling her that she was lying on cold rock, the air frigid and damp around her. All she had to do was slip away, fall asleep. If no one found her she’d be gone, just like that. No fuss, no muss. It would be so easy and maybe it was better that way.