Note: Written for the @empyreanevents Bodhi week prompt Leader. I got super ill with the flu before I could finish this so I'm posting it now.
Masterlist
Basgiath is a place of steel and resilience. Every day, every challenge tests one’s ability to adapt and loose all feelings. Survive, outsmart, improve. Bodhi has always prouded himself on the ability to be invisible. To lurk in the back corners and observe from shadows. His attentiveness is what earned him a section leader position for his second year. The ability to know exactly what other riders needed, how to talk to frightened cadets and motivate the lost cases.
You on the other hand were voted in by most squads in your section of the wing. Not because you were compassionate or people’s favorite, but because the fourth wing hasn’t seen many riders as good and ruthless with their dragon as you. Your connection was better than most, your signet was dangerous and the combination of your fight skills and your dragon’s maneuvers was lethal. Just your presence evoked respect and fear.
Back in your first year, Bodhi wouldn’t have guessed you’ll become someone so frightening. You seemed a little off-standish, distant, but sweet and innocent enough. He recognized your abilities in squad battle and war games, when you almost wiped the ground with him and his dragon protecting your outpost. It was safe to say he noticed you a lot after that. Not out of fear, but admiration. And when you stood by his side as the flame section leader, he was not surprised.
He used every leadership meeting after that to get to know you better. Find out things you thought about when no one was paying attention, how you fiddled with the ties of your sleeves when you got too bored and screwed with your vest buttons when you didn’t agree with someone higher up. He learned the signs of when you’ll challenge Xaden’s plans or when you’ll quietly walk out of the meeting seething.
After two months, he invited you to the gym after a discussion that almost left you breathing fire. You almost turned him away, but it was good to have an outlet for all the anger seething inside of you. You almost broke his arm that night. The next one he hardly escaped a serious stab into his lungs. A week after that he left with a twisted ankle, trying to not let it be known he’s limping.
But only after you almost killed him and he had to counter your signed did you accept his invite to a coffee. At first it was out of guilt. You didn’t want to deepen your ruthless reputation further by hurting a fellow leader. People were already whispering living nightmares and scaring their teammates with your name as it was. But you couldn’t deny that with every training session and study practice you didn’t actually need his presence was growing on you.
You started to understand why people gravitated towards him so naturally. He was born a leader, whether he believed it or not. Where you had to fight for your respect he was granted it out of politeness. Where you got arguments and challenges of rules, his riders listened and acted without fuss. Sometimes you envied how easy it must have been for him to be popular and so liked while you were feared by people before they even met you.
After you started dating, which took a lot of his courage and your patience, it became quite evident there was a big difference in your leading styles. You had to hold an iron hand while he guided people with their best interest in mind. But with the spring growing near he started to become afraid his guidance wasn’t enough.
“I don’t know how to get the second squad up,” he confided in you one evening. “I feel like all my strategies are falling short.”
“They have already made it through challenges, haven’t they? They’ll be fine,” you almost dismissed not looking up from your textbook.
“Not ones like this. Everyone else is getting better and I feel like they’re slacking. They’ll fall behind,” he sighs.
“Look, if they’re not working hard enough, just talk to them. You’re always good at motivating people,” you set away the book to study him instead.
“Not them, they act like everything I say is a joke,” he paces the room, pulling his hair with stress. “I think they don’t have enough respect for me. It would be easier if I could just command them like you do. Yours always listen and respect you.”
“They respect me because they’re afraid of me,” you remind him. “They respect you because you have compassion and empathy. It’s much better to lead with kindness than fear.”
“I don’t know,” Bodhi hesitates.
“Well I do. When my strength fails, they’ll disperse. Yours will stand by you if you can’t stand yourself, hold you up if your leadership falters,” you assure him.
“I guess you’re right,” he admits and finally gets into bed with you. “I guess I couldn’t rule with such tight leash like you anyway.”
“But if it makes you feel better I can give them a stern talking to tomorrow,” you only half joke.
“No, it’s fine. I don’t need to unleash my scary girlfriend privilege on them. You might actually make them cry,” he laughs.
“That’s what they deserve for giving you wrinkles anyway,” you counter and he snorts. “Sometimes I wish I could afford to have the sweetness and amiability you have with them. Don’t let them dim that down.”
You snuggle into his chest, out there you had to be strong and fearless, but in here you could just be two people with the best intentions and their own doubts. The soft girl and her rock-hard boyfriend with all the tenderness in the world directed only to each other. Even though your approaches were vastly different, you got results and that’s what matters at the end of the day. To keep as many people in your squads breathing as you can and make it out of here alive.
This fic was Beta read by the fantastically talented @embersofonyx Thank you for your feedback <3
Important!: I think it's pertinent to state that I am pro choice, and that I fully believe abortions are okay, and in cases, necessary. That being said, there is no abortion in this fic. Bodhi makes this decision freely, and without any outside pressure.
P.s: Xaden's not Venin in this
Word Count: 4.6k
"Fuck!"
Bodhi was breathing hard, his fingers digging deep into the skin of his shins which he held tight to his body. Y/n's thrusts were ruthless, barely giving him half a second to breathe. Bodhi was sure he hadn't taken a full breath since they'd started. Today was the last day of Y/n's rut and thank the gods! Bodhi could not take another fucking after this. He was well, and truly spent.
By some miracle, Y/n wasn't showing any signs of fatigue, only exertion. Beads of sweat dotted every inch of him. It might've been the lustful haze, but Bodhi thought he could see steam rising off Y/n from how hot he was. Something about seeing his alpha like this made Bodhi's omega very eager. It's a good thing too, he wouldn't survive any of Y/n's ruts when Bodhi wasn't in heat otherwise.
Y/n had the best stamina of anyone Bodhi had ever known, even surpassing Xaden. Y/n was the only person he knew of that could take care of an omega for their whole heat cycle without the help of specialised drugs, or toys, and still have enough energy to do aftercare.
Most pairings needed some kind of assistance to get through a cycle when their partner wasn't on theirs. The typical solution being suppressants/steroids/other medications, some preferred to use special toys, sometimes a beta would be invited, or, in extremely rare cases, another alpha/omega joined.
"Good boy, you're doing so well for me," Y/n was barely panting! If his omega wasn't so hooked on the praise, and the way he'd said it, Bodhi would've definitely (not) found it in himself to be annoyed by that.
"Last knot, I promise"
Bodhi whined, tears having long since fallen, the overstimulation resting dangerously close to the edge of unbearable.
Y/n mouthed at his neck, more praise, and assurances mumbled against his skin. He was so close to cumming. So close. Y/n licked and nibbled where a mark would go if they were mated, and he nearly screamed. Bodhi aggressively shoved Y/n's head away so he wouldn't immediately explode.
A husky chuckle escaped Y/n in response, but he obeyed, laying off of Bodhi and purely focusing on getting himself off so his poor boyfriend could finally rest.
Admittedly, Bodhi would've loved if Y/n marked him, mated him; their cycles would naturally sync up, he would always smell like Y/n, they would have to be put in the same squad, and his omega would finally shut up about getting mated.
For all his complaining, Bodhi knew that it was a good sign; it'd never wanted any of his past partners to mate him this desperately, or at all, really.
Y/n's thrusts grew frantic, his hands leaving Bodhi's thighs in favour of the sheets so that he wouldn't leave any painful bruises.
"Fuck, Bo, I'm so close. Almost there. Last one, yeah? Almost over"
Bodhi let himself go, knowing Y/n would follow his lead. Bodhi arched his back to an angle that was frankly concerning, his mouth laying wide open in a silent scream.
Seconds after gravity overtakes him once again, Y/n hugs himself close to Bodhi, letting out a long moan as he spills inside of him. His knot expands, trapping all the sperm inside, and fixing them together for, if past experiences had taught him anything, about forty minutes to an hour.
Y/n gently helped adjust Bodhi's legs so that he was more comfortable, guiding them to wrap around his waist.
Y/n began lightly peppering kisses all over Bodhi's face in between little murmurs, "You did so well, I'm so proud of you. Such a pretty omega. Took everything easily, you make it look effortless"
After ten minutes, when their breathing returned to normal, Y/n gingerly shifts them to the edge of the bed so he could pick Bodhi up without causing pain.
He carries them on unfairly sturdy legs to the bathroom, draping a hand towel over the sink so the cold porcelain wouldn't come into contact with Bodhi's bare skin when he perches him on it. Y/n wets a cloth, and begins the process of wiping him down, ridding him of sweat and cum to make the waiting more bearable.
Not that he minded it, the waiting. He was blissfully cock drunk, with a very happy omega purring softly somewhere in the back of his head.
Once cleaned, at least as much as they could be with nothing but a cloth and limited reach, Y/n took them back to the bed. He pulled off the protective cover, and climbed into bed so they could cuddle for the rest of the night. Breath lightly fanning over where his mark would go someday.
Even in his haze, Bodhi's mind still brought up all the reason's to say, 'fuck it,' and ask Y/n to mate him. There were just two, tiny problems with that. The first being that cadets couldn't mate until they'd graduated. Bummer.
That wasn't a huge concern though; they were no longer in Basgiath, and had already made amendments to the codex to better suit the situation in Aretia. The second, and more important one, Bodhi had yet to tell Xaden he'd started dating an alpha.
Xaden was... protective to say he least. Some would say he was a bit over protective. Most would argue that the 'some' were insane, and Xaden was even more so with how obsessive he was when it came to Bodhi's safety. None would be incorrect.
It did not help that Y/n had cultivated a reputation for sleeping around before committing to Bodhi. He hadn't been a Ridoc, or Garrick level bed hopper, but he'd been up there.
As a result, Bodhi had gone to great lengths to prevent anyone from finding out. Any time they spent a night together, he would scrub his skin raw to make sure there was no lingering scent. His Omega screamed every time he did it.
They also completely avoided each other in public settings. There was never so much as a hint of recognition to be found if their eyes happened to gaze upon the other, nor did anything spark if their names were heard. It was painful, so very painful.
"Bodhi," Y/n mumbled sleepily, "you're thinking too much; I can smell your anxiety. Whatever it is can wait till morning. Sleep"
Y/n intentionally put out a calming scent, helping Bodhi do just that. He was very tired, and Y/n was so nice and warm. It wasn't difficult.
-1 Week Later-
There was a voice.
"Hey~"
It was soft. Distant.
"Bodhi. Bodhi?"
It sounded fuzzy, but soothing.
"Bodhi, you okay?"
The voice cleared into something he could make out, unfortunately, this also sharpened his other senses, and he felt horrible.
His head hurt, and his stomach churned. He felt like he was gonna throw up.
"Bodhi?" That voice, it's Y/n's voice, tinged with worry now. Bodhi groaned, unable to give an articulate response.
Gentle hands caressed his face. Bodhi opened his eyes, wincing when the intensity of light assaulted his retinas.
'Wait a minute, why is it so bright out already?'
"What time is it?" he managed to mumble out without gagging.
"Don't worry about that right now, tell me what's wrong"
Bodhi's brow furrowed, and he was about to argue when another wave of nausea hit him, so he relented.
"I feel like I'm gonna be sick". Bodhi's face screws up as the covers slide over his nipples, the usual cool, silky smoothness irritating his skin, "And my chest is tender"
Y/n nods, rushing off somewhere to... do something. Bodhi didn't know exactly, he just wanted him back.
Y/n returned holding a bucket, a glass of water, and some medication. He placed the bucket to the side of the bed, and dropped the tablets into the water. He helped Bodhi sit up and drink.
He wanted to suggest that Bodhi should see Brennan, but he knew the omega would decline. So instead, he tucked Bodhi in, soothed him to sleep, and then went to speak to Brennan himself.
Of course, he didn't say it was Bodhi that was feeling these symptoms, just someone.
"Well," Brennan starts, looking up in thought, "it could be some mild food poisoning, a stomach bug, perhaps. You said this person is an omega, right?"
Y/n nods.
"It could be some residual heat sickness, or they might be pregnant. I'd suggest they come to me for a proper check up, but does that help?"
"Yes, thank you," he replies, nodding again, "And I'll try to convince them, but they're stubborn you know? Besides, no one wants to argue with a sick omega"
He didn't know why, but something about that last suggestion stuck with him. Y/n didn't want to be that guy that always jumped to pregnancy as the go to theory for morning sickness, but Bodhi had also said his chest was tender...
No. It's impossible, they'd been careful... mostly. Y/n was usually on the fertility pills, but there'd been a shortage, so he couldn't get a refill. But Bodhi's hadn't run out yet, right?
Y/n had been sure of that two hours ago, now? Not so much.
'Oh gods, what if Bodhi's pregnant? We're in the middle of a war, we can't raise a child! And we're barely adults ourselves!'
'Stop,' He tells himself, 'You cannot spiral right now. You don't know if Bodhi is pregnant, and if he is, he needs your support, not your panic.'
Y/n takes a deep breath to collect his thoughts, making an itemised list of what he needs to do in order of urgency in his head.
First, he talks to Bodhi's squad, tells them Bodhi won't be there, and to please take notes for him. Bodhi would stress far too much otherwise. Then, Y/n goes down to the apothecary to get a few pregnancy tests, and some more meds to manage the symptoms. Now, back to Bodhi.
Y/n takes a moment before opening the door.
‘Breathe. Be natural. Don’t freak him out.’
He knocks on the door, waits a few seconds, then opens.
“Hey, Bo, I’m back,” Y/n calls out. He’s answered by a low groan coming from the en-suite bathroom. Walking over, he sees vomit in the bucket beside the bed. There’s nothing glaringly abnormal about it, not that he could tell with his limited medical knowledge, so hopefully no internal damage, or signs of dangerous sicknesses.
Bodhi kneels hunched over the toilette, gagging.
“Oh, baby,” Y/n whispers kneeling beside him. He rubs Bodhi’s back soothingly, and presses a kiss to his head. Bodhi grunts, lightly pushing him away without turning to face him.
“I’m fine. You should go; don’t want you to see me like this”
“There’s not a chance I’m leaving you in this state. Besides, how am I supposed to prove I’m good enough to be your alpha if I don’t take care of you, hmm? Your omega would never forgive me. I would never forgive me”
This earned him a small laugh. He’d count it as a win.
“Fuck, I’m gonna be so behind,”
Y/n rolled his eyes. This was the man he was in love with, and he wouldn’t have him any other way, “Bodhi, now is not the time to worry about that. I’ve got people taking notes for you, so can we focus on your health?”
Bodhi pauses, pivoting his head to look at Y/n as if his neck is rusted, “...You did?”
“Of course I did. I would like to think that after almost a year of dating, I do know you, and I knew you’d worry about that so, yes; I asked your squad to take notes for you”
Bodhi’s eyes glistened, as he stared at Y/n with such adoration, “I love you”
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
They always acted, and spoke to each other like they loved each other, but they’d never said it. Which was ridiculous, Y/n knew, but they just... hadn’t. Until now.
“I love you too”
He was grinning stupidly. Gods he wanted to kiss Bodhi so badly, but he also knew Bodhi would refuse, seeing as he’d just vomited.
‘Focus!’ He scolded himself. He wanted to dwell on their revelation, but he had to first make sure this wasn’t pregnancy.
The spell was ultimately broken by another spiel of sickness. Y/n grimaced. He did not envy Bodhi right now.
“I also spoke to Brennan, asked him about what the symptoms could mean. I didn’t tell him it was you obviously,” Y/n rushes to add, seeing the panic on Bodhi’s face. If Brennan had known, he would have most definitely told Xaden, and as guilty as Bodhi felt about it, he didn’t want Xaden to take care of him. Preferably, he didn’t want anyone to take care of him, to see him like this, but if he had to choose, he’d want it to be Y/n.
“He said it could be few things, like food poisoning, a stomach bug, ...pregnancy,” the last suggestion was whispered, but Bodhi’d still heard it. He turned to Y/n with a dead-pan look.
“Pregnancy, really?”
Y/n shrugged, trying to seem non-chalant, “I haven’t been able to get any contraceptives because of the shortage”
“I know,” Bodhi says, a bit exasperated, “you told me, but I’ve still been taking mine. Speaking of, I need to take it today, can you get it for me?”
Y/n gets up wordlessly. Bodhi hears the familiar crinkling packaging, and then—
“Hey, Bo?” Y/n stands in the doorway, holding the pills with a slight furrow in his brow, “Are these the ones you’ve been taking?”
“Yeah, why?”
A long, horribly dreadful eternity of silence passes.
“Bodhi... these are expired”
His voice trembled, “What?”
“They expired a month ago”
They stared at each other, the room unfairly quiet whilst Bodhi watched his life collapse before his eyes.
As if a flip switched, Y/n sprung into action, falling to his knees in front of Bodhi to comfort him, “Hey, hey, let’s not panic yet. We don’t know if you’re really pregnant, it could still be something else. I bought some tests just in case. Take those, and until we’ve got results, there’s no reason to think you’re pregnant”
Bodhi shakily nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right”
Time passed in a bit of a blur. Y/n made sure Bodhi drank water, and got him something to eat. He gave him stuff to deal with the symptoms, and Bodhi had tried one of the pregnancy tests. They were going to use all of them, but they agreed that while it would take longer, it would be better to use them at different times, in case there was some sort of condition that messed with the results. And so they had waited, cuddling the whole day. Every time Bodhi went to go pee, he used another one. He never checked the ones before, not ready to see the answer until they had all the results.
By the end of the day, they’d used all five, and it was time to check. As per Bodhi’s request, he went alone into the bathroom, leaving Y/n to wait on the bed, and pretend he wasn’t drowning in nerves. Bodhi walked back into the bedroom. He was shaking.
“And?”
“They’re all positive. I’m pregnant”
Y/n didn’t know what to say, or do, or feel, or even think, but none of that was important. He only needed to know how Bodhi wanted him to react, but he couldn’t tell. Bodhi was trembling, on the brink of tears, so Y/n went for calm reassurance.
“Okay. You’re pregnant. Now we know for sure, that’s a good thing,” he wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince more, “That means we can plan”
“We’re in the middle of a war, Y/n, we can’t raise a child,” Bodhi was starting to hyperventilate. Y/n needed to calm him down, now.
“We don’t have to, there are other options,” he starts, hugging Bodhi tightly to his chest. Did the thought of not getting to raise the child him, and Bodhi had potentially created bother him? Yes, definitely, but it wasn’t his choice.
“We could get an abortion. There are a few clinics here in Tyrrendor that I’m sure could perform the procedure safely. If not that, maybe if you carry it to term, we could find a good orphanage. Or there’ll probably be a couple who’d love to take them in. There are ways around this, Bodhi. I’m here for you, no matter what”
Bodhi nodded against Y/n’s chest, breathing a bit more deeply than he was before. They would get through this, together.
-A Few Days Later-
They’d talked extensively about what they were going to do. Bodhi decided he didn’t want an abortion. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that his own parents had considered aborting him, but it just didn’t sit well with Bodhi. It made his stomach turn, and his omega scream louder than it ever had before.
With the medication, his symptoms were a lot more manageable. He was back in classes, and had been telling everyone who asked that it had just been a 24-hour bug. Nothing serious.
If only they knew.
Nobody knew yet. Not Xaden, not Brennan, not their squads, nobody. This is mostly because while Bodhi knew he didn’t want an abortion, he didn’t yet know what he did want. Whether they were going to find an orphanage, foster parents, or keep the baby, they still had to figure out. He wanted to have a plan before he went to Xaden with this. It might help him be less murderous when they told him. On the other hand, having help/advice might be nice, so they’d agreed that if they would tell them at the end of this week, whether they had a plan, or not.
Y/n had been so patient, and caring during this. He had taken everything in stride, and made the best of it, ensuring Bodhi knew he was loved and supported the entire time. Gods he loved that man. He really couldn’t wait to bare his mark.
Maybe he could. He was already carrying their future child, why couldn’t he have his mark too? Codex be damned. There was probably a rule against conceiving, likely why contraceptives were so easily accessible at Basgiath. Also, you know, a bunch of young, horny adults facing death every day, sleeping in the same building, it would be concerning if it wasn’t accessible. And a major oversight.
The door to his room opened, and in walked Y/n holding some of the only food Bodhi could stomach right now. The clamouring smells in the great hall during meals had proven to be too much, so he’d taken to eating in his dorm recently, and Y/n, of course, was more than happy to help accommodate him.
“Hello, my love,” Y/n greeted, leaning in to kiss Bodhi sweetly, “How was your day?”
“Alright. Nothing particularly eventful. And before you ask, yes, I’m taking my medication, no, my sickness hasn’t gotten worse, and no, I don’t have anymore symptoms as of late”
Y/n blushed, smiling. He had asked Bodhi those three questions at least twice a day after finding out he was pregnant. It was sweet, and though Bodhi acted annoyed, he loved it.
“I still don’t know what we’re going to do after the baby’s born,” Bodhi complains, flopping back against the bed. The impossibility of raising a child in these conditions were not lost on him, but how was he supposed to decide when he didn’t know how he’d feel about it until after he was holding them in his hands. He’d heard the stories of the instant connection an omega or beta would feel to their pup after giving birth, he’d also heard that it wasn’t always true. How could he commit to something now when the outcome was so unpredictable?
“That’s okay,” Y/n said, always supportive, the rock he could lean against, “We have months to decide,”
“But we’re telling Xaden tomorrow”
Y/n was silent, contemplating for a moment, “I know we agreed to tell him, but if you’re not ready yet, we can hold off”
“No,” Bodhi sighed, “We can’t”
The longer they waited, the more hurt — and therefore angry — Xaden would be when they did. Bodhi was already one hundred percent certain that when he told him, Xaden would immediately slam Y/n against the wall for getting Bodhi pregnant, which was why he was going to tell Xaden alone. Y/n was not at all a fan of this idea, but (reluctantly) accepted Bodhi’s wishes.
“It’ll be okay. He can’t stay mad at you for long; you’re pregnant, it’s, like, an unspoken rule. No yelling at a pregnant person, regardless of gender, status, or species. Even dragons have to obey.”
Bodhi laughed at that. Y/n always knew how to make him feel better.
“And who can stay mad at this face. You can’t. It’s impossible.”
Bodhi smiled stupidly, “You’re such a dork”
“Your dork”
“Yes. Mine”
-The Next Day-
Bodhi paced up and down his dorm room. Xaden was on his way now after being sent a message from Bodhi via Sgaeyl. His hands were shaking, and sweat accumulated uncomfortably in the small of his back.
Every sound made him jump, every sensation, unwelcome.
Xaden knocked, waited for Bodhi's shaky reply, then entered calmly. He took in his dishevelled appearance, but let nothing show on his own face. Xaden stood across from his cousin, unblinking.
Bodhi couldn't breathe, couldn't think. He felt like the walls were closing in on him.
Xaden's dark eyes never faltered once, "Well?"
Bodhi gulped, "Umm, so, I have something to tell you"
"I gathered that," Xaden said, one eyebrow raised.
Usually Xaden's aloofness in stressful situations served as an anchor, but right now, it grated on Bodhi's nerves.
He took a deep breath, "Maybe it would be better if we sat down"
Xaden rolled his eyes. It was probably the most expressive thing he'd done thus far.
"Just spit it out, Bodhi"
He worried his lip, gaze shifting uneasily, as if he thought someone might be listening in. His cousin sighed like all of this was merely an inconvenience, "I don't have time for this. Talk to me when you're actually ready to talk"
Bodhi's omega writhed. How dare he? It was glaringly clear that Bodhi was in distress, and yet Xaden dismissed it so easily. A level of aggression he wasn't familiar with bled out into his snarl, "Yes, you do. Sit down."
Xaden freezes, shocked, never having thought Bodhi would speak to him like that.
"Alright," he relents. Xaden, finally seeming to grasp the gravity of this situation, sits on the edge of the bed, guiding Bodhi to do the same.
"What's going on?"
Bodhi stares at the floor, his bravado earlier melting now that he actually had to say the words. "I— I'm in a relationship," he scrunched his eyes as if it would hide him.
Xaden stays silent for a moment, "Okay. Given the amount of build-up to this, I assume there's more"
Bodhi felt sick to his stomach. This was his nightmare. He nodded.
"He's an alpha…"
Xaden tensed beside him, guessing where this was going.
"And during his rut, he accidentally got me pregnant."
Bodhi winced at the sharp, hostile scent rolling off Xaden. He was furious.
"Who?"
"It's not his fault"
"Who?"
"I'm not telling you who, Xaden. You're just going to attack him and I—," he pauses, his voice faltering, "I love him"
"You love him?"
Bodhi rolls his eyes, "I am willingly carrying this man's child, Xaden. Yes, I love him"
Xaden stands out of restless frustration. "No, you don't. How long have you even known him? A month?"
Bodhi had to actively prevent himself from lunging at him. He doesn't know anything, and yet here he is, telling Bodhi how to feel.
"We've been together for a year," he counters, staring him down. Bodhi didn't realise how protective he'd become hearing Xaden insult his alpha, but he was going to use it. "If you're not going to be supportive, then get out"
Xaden clenches his jaw. The two sides of him are at war, one wants to start making a plan immediately, the other wants to tear whoever got his cousin pregnant apart. Reluctantly, Xaden bites his tongue, and sits back down. He would never forgive himself if he wasn't there for Bodhi.
"Fine. Do you have a plan?" The question is terse, the room still thick with tension, but it's a start.
"We talked about it. Went through our potential options." Bodhi turns his head to look at Xaden whom refuses to meet his gaze, "I've decided that I'm going to carry it to term. After that? I don't know yet. We'll probably look for a foster home later on in the pregnancy."
"…Carrying the pregnancy to term is risky"
"We're dragon riders. Our life is risk personified."
His cousin finally lifts his head, "This is a different kind of risk, and you know it. It's not something you can train for, the complications aren't things you can prevent"
"I know. I just… I can't get rid of it"
"Bodhi," Xaden sighs, but it sounds more parental than anything, "If you can't say goodbye now, what makes you think you'll be able to do so when they're born?"
"I don't know if I will"
"What are you going to do in that situation? Raise them yourself? Here? In the middle of a war?"
"My parents did it"
"It wasn't easy"
"Nothing worth it ever is. And I wouldn't be alone. I'd have my friends, and you—" Bodhi hesitates, "I will have you, right?"
Xaden soften in a way few get to see, "Of course"
He nods, relief flooding him. He pauses, then mumbles, "I'll also have my alpha"
"Speaking of, when do I get to meet your mystery mate?"
Bodhi fixes him with a deadpan expression, "When I feel like you won't attack him on sight"
"So it's gonna be a while," Xaden mutters.
He glares at Xaden, "You can't blame him. It's as much my fault as it is his. Actually, it's more my fault than his. I was the one who didn't check the expiration date on the contraceptives, I was the careless one"
"What? He can't take a pill?"
"He couldn't get access at the time, which he told me about, and made it very clear that I could say no to spending his rut with him"
"He could've checked the expiration date"
Bodhi smacked his arm, "Stop making excuses to hate him! You're being childish"
Xaden contemplates this for a moment, "I'll think about it"
Bodhi huffs, shaking his head.
"Anyway, is there anything you need?" Xaden asks while making his way to the door.
"Not right now, he's got me sorted," Bodhi gestures to the care package Y/n had constructed containing any and all medication that might be needed, his favourite snacks, and a crotchet green dragon plushie (He'd tried to make it himself, but after many failed attempts, paid a nice granny to make it)
Xaden scrutinises it for a moment. Bodhi holds his breath because while he certainly doesn't need Xaden to approve of his mate, he would really like him to.
"… I guess it's somewhat adequate," He murmurs, looking like it pained him to admit so.
Once Xaden left, Bodhi flopped back against his bed. A quick glance at the clock tells him that Y/n would be here to check on him soon. He smiled to himself. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.
I ran my fingers through Bodhi dark locks. Bodhi hummed opening his eyes. I smiled kissing him on the nose. He grinned wrapping his arms around me. I inhaled taking in his scent. “Shower?” I asked curling a strand of his hair with my finger.
“Together?” Bodhi said leaning up. I simply answered his question with a sly smirk. His eyes widened as he rolled off the bed. I chuckled swinging my legs over the edge. He quickly stripped off all of his clothes. I bite my lip grabbing his chin. He hummed as our lips connected. His hands glided down to my butt cheeks giving them a squeeze. I moaned lacing my fingers through his locks.
I gasped feeling my back press up against the shower glass door. Bodhi parted his lips from mine. Turning his attention to getting me naked. Which wasn’t hard because I was wearing a simple large shirt. My nipples hardened as his large palm cupped them. I kissed his neck trailing up to his earlobe. I gently tugged his earlobe making him groan. My hands glided down his chest landing at his length.
I wrapped my fingers around his girth giving it a pump. This little action extracted a throaty groan from him. I giggled releasing his earlobe. His right hand dropped from my breast and to my entrance. I winced feeling his finger tease my folds.
“Shower~” I moaned feeling his fingertip slowly part my walls. Bodhi left hand pushed the door open. I released his cock gripping his shoulders. He retreated his hand from my heat. I stepped into the shower. He quickly turned the water on before turning his attention back to me.
Bodhi spun me around making his length slap against my cheek. I bit my lower lip feeling his fingers circle my clit. His other hand gripped my breast. I bucked my hips back making him groan. “Please~” I whined just wanting to feel him inside me. I parted my butt cheeks. He lined his tip against my folds.
I closed my eyes feeling his tip part my folds. A shiver traveled up my spine as he filled my walls. I swore under my breath rocking my hips back. He groaned buckling back against me. His hips slapped against my butt cheeks.
“Fuck~” Bodhi said pulling out to only slam back in. He hide his face into the knock of my neck. His lips pressed against my tender skin. I moaned running my fingers through his sweaty strands. Each time he’d buck into me I’d rock my hips back. His fingers kept roughly rubbing against my clit, making the pleasure intensified. My cheeks started to sting from his hips slapping against them.
My whole body shook as I met my end. Bodhi thrusted one last time into me. His warm seed painted my inner walls. He made a trail of kiss along my neck as we basted in our climax. His warm breath tickled my skin. I hummed brushing my fingers through his hair. His length soften and slipped from my entrance. I harshly exhaled turning around to face him. He grinned staring at me through half opened eyelids. I cupped his lips placing a kiss a upon his lips. The steam from the water fogged the air.
“Close your eyes.” I said tilting his head back. He obeyed shutting his eyes. I ran my fingers through his hair as the water dampened his locks. My left hand cupped the back of his head. I tilted his head up right reaching for the shampoo bottle. He hummed as I massaged my fingers against his scalp. I dripped some shampoo on his hair. I set the bottle aside running my left hand through his hair.
Bodhi chuckled staring down at me fondly. He pulled me into a tight embrace. I giggled wrapping my arms around his neck. He kissed my nose leaning his forehead against mine. I pulled my right arm from his neck. Poking his nose with my soapy index finger leaving a bubble on his nose. He chuckled tilting his head to the side pressing his lips mine.
Note: Written last minute for the @empyreanevents prompt Bond, alas what happens when four dumbasses fall in love. I missed writing some cute fluff.
Masterlist
Spring at the Basgiath War College wasn’t often something to celebrate, it meant flight lessons in still freezing temperatures and ruthless challenges that were getting more intense the closer it was getting to squad battles. The good thing was the sun started showing and days were getting longer, letting you enjoy the remaining bits of sunshine after class. Some took it as an opportunity to get a bit of free maneuvers practice in, like Bodhi. Others entertained their dragons and went for afternoon flights with them, like you.
As your magnificent red Daysei lands in the field with Cuir, you see your wingmate got some good training in. You knew Bodhi briefly, if at all, put in sibling squads. He always stroke you as a strong, ambitious man who didn’t take anything for granted. Most people had reservations about the marked ones, but you still had to meet a more loyal and righteous person than him. Which really didn’t help with the crush you’ve developed over the year you’ve known him.
‘You really should finally do something about that man,’ Daysei nudges you.
‘Only when you do something about yours,’ you fire back. ‘Dragon courting is much easier than human, is it not?’
Your crush on Bodhi and her crush on Cuir was just one of the things you fit together in, so conversations about one or the other were on nightly basis. Either you were obsessing over Bodhi’s abs and fight skills, or she was complimenting the green’s intelligence and battle strategy. Either way you were both sure the male of your choosing had no interest in you and suffered in silence together while encouraging the other one to speak up. It was clear one of you will have to break first sooner or later.
“Hey, I’ve seen you in the sky today, nice work,” Bodhi, who so graciously dismounted his dragon, says to you.
“Hi, yeah, uh, Daysei is great,” you agree a little startled.
“Well I’m sure it’s not just on Daysei,” he compliments and gives a little nod to your dragon. “Maybe we can go train together sometime? I’m sure me and Cuir could learn a lot from the both of you.”
“Oh, yeah, yeah sure! Anytime,” you agree much too giddily and choose to rather run from the humiliation. “Anyway, I’ve gotta go, bye!”
‘You did not have to indicate MY incapability when trying to impress your woman,’ Cuir pesters him when you’re no longer nowhere close to the flight field.
‘Sorry, but what was I supposed to say? Hey Y/n, do you wanna have romantic dinner with me?’ Bodhi rolls his eyes and takes his own leave.
‘What’s wrong with romantic dinners? I thought you’re just the type with the amount of daydreaming you do about her,’ Cuir almost laughs at him.
You were almost reaching the mess hall to grab dinner by the time Bodhi made it back to school, and for one you thanked all the gods you weren’t in the same squad so you didn’t have to bath in your misery longer than necessary. You surely made a fool of yourself, but what were you supposed to say? You hardly ever expected him to talk to you as is, let alone invite you to anything with him.
‘Wow, another chance successfully blown,’ Daysei jabs.
‘Hey, at least I said something coherent! And what was I supposed to say? He just invited me to train with him,’ you shrugged.
‘No, he invited you, us, to teach him. There’s a difference,’ she insists proudly. ‘He’s surely smitten with your skills.’
‘Oh please, it’s just training,’ you weren’t willing to get your hopes up. ‘He has his own circles, I doubt he could like someone like me.’
‘The way you talk one would think YOU are a rebellion’s child,’ Daysei snorts.
It was true that socially Bodhi was arguably the one in worse standing, but it never looked like it bothers him much. From what you could tell, he had an established friend group of other marked kids who held together for everything. He didn’t need other friends and certainly not you. Your squad was fine, but you wouldn’t say you’re personally anything exceptional. A first year just like him, but without the obvious background training.
Bodhi went for a short dinner before washing off the smell of sweat and dragon fire and going to bed to do some light reading before sleep. It was hard to fall asleep most nights anyway unless he was completely exhausted from training, and even then his dream were haunted by the woman he found most ethereal.
‘You gonna pretend to stare at the page much longer or admit you’re again thinking about a girl you’re too chicken to ask out?’ Cuir pokes in his mind. ‘You’ve been on the same page for ten minutes.’
‘I am analyzing it,’ Bodhi argues.
‘Oh really, what was the last thing you’ve read then?’ Clearly the green dragon is having way too much fun with this.
‘Shut up,’ Bodhi snaps the book shut. ‘As if you are any better, have you told Daysei already how prettily her scales shine in the morning sun? Or that her colors remind you of blood on stone?’
‘I’ll throw you off the next time you try to climb on me,’ Cuir threatens and butts out.
In the morning however, he is more insufferable even before breakfast. If Bodhi didn’t know better, he’d think his dragons took his invitation as his own free pass to impress the lady of his liking. To which Bodhi wouldn’t necessarily object, but he would not let his dragon take the credit for his own heroism of finally speaking up.
‘You gonna take her out today?’ The dragon chirps up.
‘Guess I’ll try to, and I’m not taking her out, it’s just training,’ but gods mow much would he wish it was more than that.
‘That’s what you’re saying now, but the moment you see her it’s gonna be all oh the pretty hair, and the pretty eyes, and the pretty hands…’ Cuir mocks.
‘As if she would ever lay eyes on me that way,’ Bodhi sighs. ‘She is way out of my league.’
‘Give yourself a little grace, you’re a skilled rider and fighter,’ Cuir objects.
‘Yeah and a convicted felon half this college is trying to get on his back. There’s nothing she could see in me,’ the boy grumbles.
‘You’d be surprised what young females fall for. Look at the shadow wielder, he’s worse and has a woman promised to him,’ that wasn’t very encouraging but probably the best Cuir could come up with.
Bodhi swiftly ate his breakfast before heading to classes and training, his eyes skimming every classroom for you out of habit. You shared most of them considering you were in the same year, but he didn’t usually sit close to your squad. As the day went on, his resolution started to crumble and he dragged himself to your door out of pure dragon pressure. His heart was running wild before he even knocked.
You opened the door with a surprised face that deeper seeing him on the threshold. Your jacket was gone and you were wearing grey sweatpants, a pencil stuffed behind your ear. Bodhi was sure he has never seen a more beautiful person in his life. No goddess could compare to your beauty in that moment, carefree and comfortable.
“Am I interrupting?” He asks timidly.
“Uh, no, I was just… doing some homework,” you decide on. “Can I help you?”
“I was hoping maybe we could go for the flight..?” Bodhi mentally slaps himself, of course he could have waited. “I mean, it’s pretty nice outside and surprisingly warm… If you want to, that is.”
“Now? Uh, yeah… yeah why not,” you shrug, looking back into the room. “Just let me throw something on.”
And the door is shut again, only the sounds of you scrambling around and twice a line of courses when you stab your toe on the wardrobe make it through the wood. When you open the door again, you are equipped with full flight gear, the pencil still nestles behind your ear.
“You need that?” Bodhi jokes lightly, pointing it out.
“Oh no, no I don’t,” you sheepishly take it out and throw it back into the room. “We can go.”
You put your hair in a braid on the way, which to Bodhi is incredibly attractive. You make it to the flight field before he can blink, both your dragons ready to take to the skies. He has no idea about the excited chatter Daysei was torturing you with all day, not giving you a chance to concentrate on any of your lectures.
‘Yes, we’re finally going,’ she almost screams at you in anticipation.
‘If you keep screaming at me they’ll think we’re both children,’ you grumble.
Your dragons take to the sky like they own it, flying through clouds of dust and warm sunshine. Never had you imagined sharing the flight with someone would be even more fun than flying alone. Basgiath had a lot of bad things, but you’ll always be grateful for the fact it gave you your dragon. You understood why people said there’s no greater connection and love than between a dragon and his rider.
Bodhi is enjoying himself way too much flying next to you. He probably never have had a better flight than this one, the weather was perfect and so was his company. The dragon beneath him however is seemingly doing his best to make Bodhi look utterly useless, taking all sharp turns and altitude changes like if he’s testing him on the day of threshing.
‘Is this a payback for the learning comment?’ He complains. ‘If you throw me off they’ll both think we’re both stupid. And we don’t want that, do we?’
‘No,’ Cuir admits and levels out.
‘Then behave and maybe we can ask them out later,’ Bodhi tried to motivate him.
‘I’ll make a spiral, it’s gonna look good, promise, just hold on,’ and just like any dragon Cuir doesn’t wait for confirmation before showing off before the female next to them. ‘Is she looking?’
‘Of course she’s looking, you big lizard,’ Bodhi rolls his eyes.
You didn’t find anything stupid about Bodhi’s flight skills, it was honestly impressing both you and your dragon alike. Daysei made a few happy twirls, having a similar conversation with you. About how good Cuir looked and she hoped to hit her best angles in the setting sun. It was honestly baffling how a dragon decades older than you can still be worse than a teenager.
‘Cuir has asked me out later,’ she announces suddenly. ‘I’m gonna say yes.’
‘See? I knew he liked you!’ You encourage her. ‘No sane dragon wouldn’t.’
You touch down right before sundown, the dragons taking off the moment you’re both off their backs before you can even steady your feet on the ground. At least someone figured their situation out, but you honestly thought you’d have to be the first one to admit your feelings to Bodhi, now she will never let you live it down until you tell him something.
“Hey, nice flight,” Bodhi comments warmly.
“Yeah, you too,” you nod stupidly just standing there for a minute, not wanting the afternoon to end. “You know I wanted to say…”
“I was wondering…” you say at the same time and Bodhi incites you to go first. “Ladies first.”
“No, no, it’s okay, you go first,” you wave your hands embarrassed.
“I just… wanted to ask if you’d like to have dinner?” Bodhi masters his bravest smile.
“Of course I’m gonna go to dinner now… What else would I do?” You shrug incomprehensibly and try to joke. “You don’t expect me to go to bed hungry, do you?”
“No, yeah, no, of course you will…” he scratches the back of his neck. “I meant with me. If you want to have dinner with me.”
“Oh! Sorry. I thought you meant…” you trail of and see the hope leaving his eyes.
“It’s okay if you don’t. I mean, I probably wouldn’t want to have dinner with myself either,” Bodhi takes the rejection like a champ.
“No! I do! Of course I want to have dinner with you,” you panic, that’s really not what you wanted for him to think.
“Oh, okay then! Let’s go I guess,” he quips up and offers you his hand.
“Such a romantic,” you comment with a smile and take it.
The way back to college is much nicer now, already lit by torches on the walls. But the evening chill doesn’t reach you because your whole body is hot with the excitement of Bodhi holding hands with you. He sheepishly looks around but you don’t care who is watching, you want them to see.
‘Bodhi’s taking me to dinner!’ you scream at Daysei not caring about what predicaments she’s in herself right now.
‘See, I knew he’ll figure out how amazing you are,’ she answers lovingly and lets you be for once.
Sometimes it takes a little faith for a dumbass to ask his girl out, human of dragon.
okay, so idea time am I right? I was thinking like a Xaden or Bodhi fic where they’re laying in bed with their partner (reader of any gender) and they tell reader that they love them but reader doesn’t respond because they already fell asleep but the man of your choosing doesn’t know that so they like maybe get a little angy at reader but then realize they fell asleep. Like, you get where I’m trying to get with this? I hope so, its also three in the morning while im typing this so i hope its not worded too weirdly. Also I’d kinda prefer male reader since there’s almost none out there and i know you write for it but I also acknowledge that Xaden couldn’t be straighter so y’know :/
Hello! Thank you so much for the request, but why choose 1?
I wrote for both Xaden and Bodhi with male reader (separately) though I flipped it with Bodhi and his could be read as either male or female honestly, hope that's okay. Enjoy!
Warnings: Fluff, Nudity (non-sexual), drug use, implied alcohol consumption, tiny sprinkle of angst
I Love You
Xaden (0.8k) :
"Are you okay?" Xaden whispers, concern bleeding into his voice as Y/n leans almost all of his weight onto him.
He mumbles out an unintelligible answer which Xaden thinks is, "Yeah, fine." But clearly, he wasn't.
"Were you hurt?" He tries not to let panic rise at the thought, reasoning that someone would have told him if he was. Although, if something had in fact happened to him, and no one bothered to tell him? Whoever was in charge of Y/n's patrol today was going to be in huge trouble.
He finally lifts his head from Xaden's shoulder whilst fighting to keep his eyes at least half open. "No, wasn't hurt. Just tired. Patrol was long"
Relief floods through him, and he tugs his boyfriend a bit closer. Doing a quick assessment of those around them, Xaden lets his expression soften even further noting that barely anyone was around.
"Come on, let's get you into a nice hot shower, then we can snuggle"
The first part of Y/n's response was too garbled to make out, but Xaden caught the word 'assembly' at the end of it, and assumed he was asking about the meeting he had scheduled for this evening.
"It was canceled."
'Well, it will be soon,' he thought to himself.
Y/n just hums, and lets Xaden direct drag him to their room. He undresses Y/n with care, taking his time, all the while Y/n is half unconscious. Xaden hauls his boyfriend upright again to sit him on the toilet while he runs a bath.
"Thought you said shower?" Y/n states, but it comes out as more of a question.
Xaden hums, adding Epsom salts and scented oil into the water. "I did, but I thought a bath might be more appreciated"
Xaden doesn't see it with his back turned, but a goofy grin creeps onto Y/n's face, unbidden.
"You know me so well," he sing-songs, "You like to make everyone think you're so tough, but you're really just soft and fluffy. Like taffy"
Xaden can't help the laugh that escapes him, "Are you tired or drunk? Because this sounds like one of your drunk rambles"
Y/n pulls back, as if offended, "I wouldn't drink alcohol while on patrol," he protests.
Xaden admits to himself it is quite out of character for him, but he's still not entirely convinced. He chooses to let it go however, deciding that this isn't the hill he wants to die on. "Alright, if you say so"
After checking to make sure the temperature is good one last time, he scoops up his partner, gently laying him in the water, his sleeves getting drenched in the process. He pays it no mind, instantly reaching for a loofah and soap. Xaden meticulously washes Y/n's body, leaving nothing out. He soaks the rest of his clothes to do it, but it's a small price to pay for the serene contentment on Y/n's face.
The duke takes a moment to just stare. His onyx eyes rove over him, the small accumulation of bubbles not doing much to hide anything. Xaden grabs the shampoo, conditioner, and comb, kneeling behind Y/n's head. He begins carefully wetting the hair, keeping the soapy water from his eyes, and gently massages his scalp.
"I love you," Xaden whispers next to his ear, pouring mint scented shampoo in his hand and rubbing together.
'Copycat' Xaden thinks to himself, amused. He'd rather die than admit it to anyone, but he likes that Y/n tries to smell like him. It isn't until he starts applying the product to the hair that he realises Y/n didn't respond.
'Maybe he didn't hear me'
Xaden says it again, louder, "I love you. Y/n"
Still nothing.
'Unbelievable,' He thinks puling back a bit. 'I've only gotten comfortable saying it recently after almost two years of avoidance, and now he doesn't even respond? Not even an acknowledgement?'
He's about to repeat it a third time to try get a reaction when he hears it. A cute, quiet snore, and slow even breaths. The anger and indignation leaves him, replaced by adoration.
"That good huh?" he murmurs to himself. Y/n sleeps through Xaden washing his hair without waking, only stirring once lifted out of the bath.
"Go back to sleep, I've got you"
Y/n doesn't need to be told twice, passing out immediately. Xaden manages to towel dry him well enough so that he won't soak the bed before carrying him over, and tucking him in. He changes out of the wet uniform and crawls in next to his boyfriend, tucking Y/n's head into the crook of his neck so that warm air skitters across Xaden's chest.
They both fall asleep like that, dead to the world till morning.
_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_
Bodhi (0.7k) :
I knock gently on Bodhi's door, cringing at the volume anyway. I shouldn't be here, not at any time, and certainly not at twelve am, but I couldn't sleep, and cuddling with him usually helps.
I almost leave as there's no answer, but just as I turn, the door opens, and the smell of churam smacks me in the face. Worse than that, Xaden Riorson stands in the doorway. He glares down at me with that ruthless intensity he's infamous for, however, for once, he just walks past instead of lecturing threatening me. It's probably the drugs in his system, but for now I'll delude myself and say he's getting used to the idea of Bodhi and I being together.
Garrick follows soon after, greeting me with his signature smile, then Imogen, who also glares, but is a little more petty, shoulder-checking me on the way out. Despite this, I still go inside, eyes lighting up when I see Bodhi. He's in bed, his freshly smoked stick of churam lying on the bedside table. He looks exhausted.
"Hey, handsome," I whisper into the dimly lit room.
"Hi," he responds, suppressing a smile, pupils blown wide. "Come here"
I follow the request, fitting myself into his side. His eyes droop, but he still finds the strength to turn off the lights, and pull me in closer, practically laying me on top of him.
"You think I'm handsome?"
For a moment I'm confused, before realising I called him handsome when I walked in. Not unusual for me, but I guess in his state, he just happened to latch onto the first thing I said.
"I do"
"I do," he repeats wistfully, "Funny how we'll be saying that to each other one day"
"What do you mean?" I question.
"Like, when we get married"
He says it so calmly, like it's a fact. An electric shock runs down my spine at that. When. Not if, when we get married. I know he's high, but there's no harm in humouring this little fantasy, right?
"You want to marry me?"
A child-like grin appears on his face, "I do"
Fuck, the way my heart warms is a problem. I have to manage my own expectations. One of us is more likely to die sometime in the next year and a bit than survive long enough to get married.
Wouldn't it be nice to pretend though? Just for tonight?
"I don't think your cousin would approve"
Bodhi's face scrunches. "Fuck him"
"No thanks, he's not really my type." My cheeky response earns me a light smack on the ass. We laugh, and lapse back into silence for some time
"...I want to marry you too"
He hugs me closer. "Then that's what we'll do. When we graduate, we'll go get married in Aretia"
Sadness comes over me. This is how I know he's out of it. Aretia is gone. The wedding he wants, that we want, will never happen.
But tonight, we play pretend, "Yeah, in Aretia. ...I love you, Bodhi"
"..."
Umm, okay, did he not hear? Is he ignoring me? Is this a prank? Bodhi always says 'I love you' back. Even in front of Xaden when we eventually became public.
"I love you," I say again, slower, enunciating each syllable.
"..."
'Wow, so apparently high Bodhi will propose, but won't say 'I love you'. Real nice.'
I try not to let my mind run, but I've always had an overthinking problem. Immediately, I'm plagued with worries that this is revealing Bodhi's subconscious desires. What if he only likes the idea of marriage, and doesn't really care too much with whom. Did he settle for me? Am I not what he really wants? What if—
'Before you work yourself up to a full blown panic attack, try using your ears,' my dragon orders, interrupting my inner monologue.
I take a deep breath, and do as he says. I strain to listen to what he's referring to, but all I can hear is mine and Bodhi's breaths, as well as his heartbeat—
Oh. His heartbeat. It's slow, meaning he's asleep. Even though logically, I know this, I count his heartbeats just in case, getting 9 beats in 10 seconds. The average for a sleeping adult male is 40-60 bpm. I repeat three times, just to be thorough, which allows me to confirm, he is indeed asleep.
It does help to put my mind at ease, while also calming my own racing heart. I send a small thanks to my dragon for snapping me out of it, and willingly allow sleep to drag me under.
Note: Written for the @empyreanevents Bodhi week prompt Alone. I might write one more with way more angst, I went lightly on this one. Technically takes time during Iron Flame but doesn't carry any spoilers.
Masterlist
Conscription day was deadly. Numbers of cadets slipping off the parapet before even reaching the riders quadrant even on a good day was not a pleasant sight, but today Bodhi was watching. Not because he had to, as a third year he had assigned that duty to less experienced riders. But because he anxiously awaited the moment his eyes will land on the one woman he always wanted to see, but never in a place as deadly and cruel as this one.
Ever since he was a young boy following every Xaden’s footstep without question, his eyes always landed on the girl attached to Garrick’s hip. Even though she was almost three years younger than Bodhi, she bettered them all in puzzles and always found some shortcut to win a race. Y/n Tavis was a force of nature, but also incredibly humble and sweet. She was not a girl who belonged in the riders quadrant, a place that stripped away everything nice and gentle.
Given she was only fourteen when Bodhi saw her last, he could not have a good idea of what kind of young woman she grew into. The apostasy took her away from him way too soon, keeping her in different foster homes and then taking them all away to Basgiath while she enjoyed a few more years of innocent obliviation. He could imagine she’d fit better in the healers quadrant if anything, with her caring nature and attention to detail, but the law was obdurate.
Maybe he should consider himself lucky, he only had to wait eight years while it will take at least eleven for Garrick to see his little sister again. But it already felt like forever and yet… here he was, equally excited and mortified to see his favorite person in the world again, afraid she’ll be ripped away from him the moment he catches a glimpse of her unruly hair.
Cadet after cadet jumps off the parapet, many marked ones, even more not, and yet no sight of his favorite Tavis. The sun was about to set down, and Bodhi started to worry she maybe didn’t make it to Basgiath after all. The punishment for not following the recruitment order was tremendous, unless… unless there was a much more serious reason she didn’t even make it here. That only made Bodhi worry more, because he knew how cruel people can be to marked kids who don’t grow tough skin.
The eight years without you were torturous. No contact, no meetings, no birthday wishes, not even a letter. Never has he felt so alone in his life as when you were taken god knows where and he went from seeing you at breakfast every day to no contact at all. You may have been Garrick’s relative but with you being the youngest of the close group, you were everybody’s baby sister. Imogen used to braid your hair while Xaden used to let you win every swordfight.
Maybe you had a really bad foster family, maybe the people in the house tortured you, maybe other marked ones didn’t take nicely to your princess treatment along Aretia… No, he had to think straight. You’ll be here. He knew you’ll come. If anyone was tough enough on the inside to endure anything life threw at them, it was you. You just took your time, evaluated the task at hand and learnt from other’s mistakes.
Bodhi had arguably his own problems to worry about, but he thought about you every Christmas, every summer, every time your birthday rolled around, imagining what beautiful lady you were growing into while blowing out candles off a blueberry cake. In Basgiath there wasn’t a week over the last two years he didn’t think of you and what such uncanny place will do to you. And now when you were almost at the tip of his fingers, he knew it’s his responsibility to make sure you make it out alive, as long as he can help it.
Distracted from his thoughts by another cadet making it through he sweeps his eyes over the bridge again, where slowly but surely a petite figure was making it over. You were a lot taller and grown than the last time Bodhi has seen you, but he’d know the full head of cashmere brown hair anywhere. Every little wobble holds his breath as if he’s the one crossing over. He doesn’t dare to move a finger, not even twitch until you’re safely down from the parapet, dictating your name as a new cadet.
“Tavis,” he calls out the all too familiar name then and is met with the spark in your eye.
“Wow, Durran, I see the riders quadrant did you some good,” you appreciate his new form.
He’s not the skinny kid he used to be anymore, where there was slim form and sharp agility now grew muscles you couldn’t even wrap your hands around, and he surely grew a couple inches too. You bitterly realize this is not the boy you used to know anymore, this is a man altered by eight years of endurance and experience.
“It’s so good to see you,” Bodhi hugs you tight and you get almost lost in his embrace.
“You too Bodhi,” you sink into his arms. “Even though I would have liked to come a little earlier.”
The hint of sadness in your voice is evident as you already grieve three more years you won’t get to see your brother or his best friend. Xaden and Bodhi were just as much your family as Garrick, and having to spend the last eight years without contact with either of them was a torture in its own. But now, the war college would prepare tortures and challenges for you of its own. And Bodhi and Imogen won’t be there for too long to protect you from them.
“Wow, look at you, you must have grown at least thirty inches,” Bodhi laughs examining your face and body.
“Well, considering I was… what, fourteen when I saw you last? I’d certainly hope so,” you joke, falling into comfortable conversation. “And you look like you’ve grown a lot yourself.”
Bodhi makes sure you are put in a squad in his section, at least that way he can take as much care of you as possible. He technically shouldn’t interfere with the first years’ training, but no command will stop him from looking over you and he’d be damned if he lets anyone even touch a hair on your head.
The first couple of weeks goes fine as far as he can tell, you adapt quickly and learn from experiences fast. He organizes training for the marked ones and is happy to see you when you join. Imogen is unnaturally happy to see you and makes sure to prepare you for every challenge possible. They brief you on opponents, teach you counterstrikes and practice your dagger skills. When the time of gauntlet training arrives, Bodhi can only hope you’re prepared and agile enough to make it through.
A big rock falls off his chest when you make it back to the gym on the first day, but his throat can’t stop closing up every day for the remaining two weeks. Now standing up on the flight field he feels like throwing up when his section is up on the course, counting cadets until your turn comes up. He can’t decide is he should look or rather not. He watches you slip and regain balance, know he should turn away but can’t.
In that moment he realizes no matter how hard he tries or how close he is, he can’t protect you in a place like this. Not really when it matters, when it’s life or death. In those moments, you’re alone, and you need to hold your own without their help. He needs to let you spread your wings, otherwise you might get too used to them saving your ass and aren’t ready for when the won’t be there.
He writes down your time and congratulates you, turning his attention to the next cadet in line. You try not to feel hurt by his blatant lack of interest, but after so long of not seeing each other you’d expect at least a little bit more of concern for you. You try not to let it tarnish your parade of excitement, you made it up the gauntlet and earned the right to go meet the dragons for fucks sake, you deserve a bit of credit for that.
Threshing day arrives before you blink, but you don’t have a lot of time to dwell on it. You know many cadets will be out for your blood today, and your objective is one – find the green dragon you felt weird pull to yesterday, hopefully bond it and get the fuck out of here before on the other riders in training can succeed in taking your life.
You make it back to the flight field only about two hours later, but even in such a considerably short time, every minute felt like eternity to Bodhi. He would have signed up for valley watch, but he couldn’t have known where you’d want to go and he’d be forbidden to interfere anyway were anything about to happen to you.
You are pleased to see you’re one of the first riders to make it back and officially connect your name with your dragon’s. You already felt great about the bond, and making it official was such a rewarding step. You made it through challenges, gauntlet and threshing, the rest of the year can’t be too bad, can it? The night is spent celebrating with your peers and the rest of the quadrant, but you can’t help but feel a pang of hurt when Bodhi is nowhere in sight to even congratulate you.
Even though everyone else has a couple days of rest, Imogen doesn’t let the marked ones off from training for too long. She makes sure you still show up in the evenings, training and sparring as usual, because this quadrant is out for your blood. And even though Bodhi always helps, suddenly he makes sure to find himself in the other corner of the gym when you’re on the mat, or pointedly avoids your gaze when demonstrating grips.
After weeks of his avoidance it’s hard to not take it personally, but you have no idea what you did to him that he suddenly treated you worse than a stranger. Was it just your crush on him that made you think he’s almost too nice to you? Did he suddenly find you annoying or boresome? Or was it bonding your dragon that pushed him away?
You had almost too much time on your hands to think about all the possibilities when sleep wouldn’t come even after hours of flight training at night, but not now when Imogen was pushing you past your limits for the last twenty minutes, not giving a damn about your exhaustion or the wrist you twisted in flight maneuvers today.
“I’ll take over,” the gruffy voice you could have almost forgotten calls out behind you.
You relax your stance and look his way, but it’s Imogen who leaves the mat to let him take her place. Great, so it wasn’t enough to let you suffer in silence, now he had to publicly humiliate you in front of all your friends after Imogen worn you out too. Really, maybe you preferred his ignorance.
“You’ll never get a guy down with that stance,” he warns and pounces at you. “You need to be responding faster.”
“Didn’t think you’d notice,” you pant blocking another attack. “From the other side of the gym you made sure to always distance yourself from me at.”
“Well you can’t have me always by your ass,” Bodhi says. “You have to keep watch over your own back.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” you counterattack. “Not like you’re having my back now.”
“I can’t be protecting you forever,” he strikes.
“You aren’t protecting me now,” you argue, going for his mid-section.
“You think I don’t wanna be?” Bodhi deadpans and sweeps your legs, positioning himself over you. “You think it doesn’t make me sick every time you’re in training where I can’t protect you? Every time I have to see you take on a challenge with opponents twice bigger and stronger than you?”
“You don’t even look my way!” You argue, letting him cage you in. “Ever since I bonded it’s like I don’t even exist to you. It’s like you’re…”
“Like I’m what?” Bodhi challenges.
“Like you’re jealous,” you admit and the words change his whole expression.
“There’s nothing to be jealous of,” he answers as he effortlessly lifts you back up.
You try to concentrate on studying and battle brief after that, you really do. But the thought of what happened between you and Bodhi, what you possibly could have done to warrant such behavior was eating up at you. And you get the perfect opportunity to question him about it a few days later when you find him slouched over some maps in the riders library on a Friday evening.
“So what did I do,” you question as your spread your fingers over the map. “What did I do to you that you started treating me like such and asshole, huh?”
“Bullshit. I’ve known you my whole life, and never have you treated me so badly,” you call him out. “So what is it? I’m a big girl, you can tell me.”
“It’s not what you’ve done Y/n,” he sighs and runs his finger through his hair. “It’s this place. This goddamn school.”
“I… don’t get it,” you admit.
“When you came, all I could think about was how to protect you here. How to make sure nobody can hurt you. If you wouldn’t have bonded, they’d let you be, but now that you have…” Bodhi hesitates. “Now you’ll spend the next three years as a rider and I won’t be here to protect you. It doesn’t matter how great your bond with your dragon is, this place will break you. Torture you.”
“Then help me get prepared, don’t push me away,” you plead, sitting in his lap.
“If I don’t push you away now, I won’t be able to let you go when the year is over,” he admits.
“Then don’t let me go. It will be just a goodbye until we see each again, not forever,” you promise. “We made it eight years, we can take another two until we meet again.”
“But it feels like forever,” Bodhi whines, already feeling the pain of separation that isn’t even there yet.
“You can send me letters,” you suddenly remember. “In fact, you should get everyone to send me letters next year, Imogen and Xaden and Garrick…”
He hears the break in your voice mentioning your big brother, maybe he has waited eight years to see you again but your wait for Garrick will be so much longer. If you two can make it, what is a few more years for him? And he knew that you, out of all people, will fight tooth and nail to make it back to them. No matter what this bloody war college throw at you, he will make sure you’re more than ready to take on it. He won’t torture either of you by staying away anymore, life’s too short to hesitate on his love. The riders quadrant doesn’t give anything out for granted.
Note: Written for the @empyreanevents Bodhi week prompt Spare. This is short but super lovely.
Masterlist
Bodhi always found he got lucky given his situations. Lucky to survive his parents’ execution, lucky to be allowed to live in foster care, lucky to survive in Basgiath and bond a dragon and lucky to only be Xaden’s spare heir. He didn’t want his chair, his position, and the least of all he wanted to lead his province alone. He always thought he wouldn’t be a good fit anyway, too soft, too indecisive, unable to carry all the lives of his citizens like Xaden bravely did for years.
But now Xaden was gone and all those tasks have fallen on him. Supply connections, political deals, border patrols, and he didn’t know how to shoulder it all. He tried, wanted to get through everything just like Xaden. But he wasn’t Xaden, and instead of strong decisions and sharp orders he found himself drowning. Everyone had their opinion on everything and he didn’t know any more ways to silence them. Couldn’t rule the room in with a single sentence like Xaden did.
Right now they were arguing over runes sword supply for a border outpost and have been for the past ninety minutes. And that was only the third thing on the agenda of today’s meeting. He desperately wanted the chair at the head of the table to swallow him whole and never spit him out again. Brennan catching his anxious gaze commanded the room and decided the best route without being interrupted or questioned.
How come apparently everybody was better at this job than he was? He was technically born for it, yet couldn’t get the assembly to trust him on a single topic. He got out of the session two hours later, completely drained and exhausted. And it has only been few weeks. How much longer he will be able to handle all this he didn’t know, but just the constant questioning of his every decision would convince him to turn venin himself and get lost so that he doesn’t have to sit through a single meeting ever again.
He enters his room with heavy footsteps, eyes widening a little on your form changing from flight leathers to comfortable shorts and a t-shirt that looks suspiciously like his own, worn out and washed out of color. The corners of his mouth hardly lift up as he smells the wind and fresh grass on you, engulfing you in a hug before you can put your second sock on.
“Hi,” you chirp up, scratching in his hair until he let’s go of you. “I just came back from the vales. You wanna go for dinner?”
“I don’t know,” Bodhi murmurs.
“We could get pancakes, or I think the venison is on the menu tonight,” you go on listing options but all he hears is more noise.
“I said I don’t know gods damn it!” his outburst makes you jump a little, scrunching your face up on him. “Sorry, I just…”
“Hey, I know you don’t have it easy, but that doesn’t mean you’ll talk to me like that,” you school him.
“I know, I’m sorry I yelled. You don’t deserve that,” Bodhi sighs.
“Gods know I don’t, so what was that about?” You sit in his lap, forcing him to look up at you.
“I’ve just been so stressed lately, I can’t do one thing right. Everyone always argues about everything, it’s like they’re not even listening to me,” he admits, laying his chin on your shoulder. “Xaden was such a good leader and it’s like I’m just splashing around hoping for someone to save me before I drown.”
“You don’t have to do it like Xaden,” you promise playing with his hair. “They listened because he is scary, it’s not a bad thing that you’re not.”
“But it worked for him,” Bodhi says.
“Yeah, but it doesn’t need to work for you. You are good, loyal, empathetic and compassionate, that’s enough, love,” you soothe.
“I don’t know if it’s enough anymore,” he whispers.
“It is. And I’ll always be there to save you from drowning,” you promise, smiling at him. “Now how about we get that dinner and after we can cuddle up and let the world handle its own problems for a while. I’m starving.”
“Oh we can’t have that,” Bodhi matches your happy tone.
You sit in a far corner so that nobody can bother you in the dining hall and joke and complain about the day you had. Bodhi did have it hard, but you didn’t doubt that with the right support system he will get through anything. You didn’t know a stronger or more determined person. And even though this position fell into his lap without him ever wanting it, you were sure he’ll do his goddamn hardest to fill it to his best abilities.
When you’re finally dresses in a linen nightgown and cuddled under the duvets, he feels like it’s the first time in the whole day he can actually rest and relax. No place was more comfortable than snuggling up to you, your hand in his curls playing lightly and his hands tightly wrapped around your middle. He could spend the rest of his life right here, the rest of the world can kindly go fuck itself.
“When you’re missus Durran I don’t want to live here,” he admits quietly.
“Really? Where do you wanna live?” You ask amused, it wasn’t too often you daydreamed about the future these days.
“Some place quiet, in the village maybe,” Bodhi speculates.
“Is that so?” You continue scratching.
“Yeah, I want our children to run around flower fields, not fortresses. And fresh air is good for them,” he contemplates. “No war talk, no battered soldiers, no battle decisions or death.”
“But your whole family is here..?” You remind him. “And we still have two dragons following our asses.”
“We can still visit, besides, at least the dragons will be useful for transport. What kid can say they ride a dragon to school?” Bodhi jokes.
“Wow, you’ve really thought about this haven’t you,” you smile.
“I think about the day I marry you every day,” he admits quietly, already half asleep.
“Yeah, me too, love,” you whisper as not to wake him.
Nights like this when you didn’t have too many obligations and could just relax and dream a little were your favorite. You both needed the confirmation sometimes, to feel your love. To check in with each other, and you remind yourself you’ll need to check on Bodhi a little bit more. Tomorrow will be another hard day, but for tonight there’s only peace and cuddles.
Note: A little shorter cute story written for the @empyreanevents Bodhi week prompt Wanting.
Masterlist
Bodhi has always lived in Xaden’s shadow. Ever since he was little his life started and ended with his cousin. Required to be strong as Xaden, smart like Xaden, follow in every footstep of his. But Xaden was always older and just a few steps ahead. Bodhi learnt how to ride a horse? Xaden was already winning races. Bodhi mastered a dagger skill? Xaden was already using it in sparing like second nature.
Nothing Bodhi ever did was quite close or good enough. He was always the second choice. Always left behind, because Xaden was the immediate pick. And he was expected to take it as his role, to always be compliant with whatever Xaden wanted. Follow his lead without doubt, never tell him no. Because Xaden knew best and was the best.
Even in Basgiath he couldn’t escape his cousin’s shadow because when Bodhi crossed the parapet Xaden was already a second year rider bonded to the strongest dragon anyone has seen around. There was no way Bodhi could ever compete with that. He will never be seen as his own person, as good enough in comparison. So he stopped trying.
Every meeting Xaden had the last word in just because he was potentially a duke, every argument he was supposed to let him win ruffled the feathers of his patience. He longed for a day he could just stop, leave his perfect cousin and all the expectations behind and never look back. Find a place that was just his, where he was Bodhi Durran, not just the cousin of Xaden Riorson. But he knew such fate wasn’t in his stars.
You were one of the first years who entered with him and Imogen, a marked girl with shimmering long hair and witty personality that took up the whole room. He noticed you immediately, everyone probably did. Most marked ones tried not to spike any interest or trouble, but it seemed like you bath in the attention, enjoy every insult you can fire back at people.
But he also noticed how you hang on every word Xaden says, follow his every step in demonstrations or seek his help when training for challenges. And out of all the things Xaden had and Bodhi wasn’t allowed to want, you were the one he longed for the most. When Bodhi bonds Cuir and you acquire a beautiful orange dragon, he thinks there might be a chance, but he can’t find a moment to talk to you.
It seems every time he wants to spend with you or talk to you, Xaden somehow appears or calls you over. He tried to convince him to leave you alone a little, but Xaden was having none of it, claiming you’re just too good of a strategist and help to let you off the hook. Apparently even his apprentices are off limits for Bodhi now. And he hated the inability to do anything about it, because everyone just accepted Xaden as the best one there is no questions asked.
His mind once again flies to the girl he found so pretty and cunning even though he knows he should be concentrating on the battle history in front of him, or he’ll fail yet another test and will be able to throw it on the pile of ‘not as good as Xaden’ receipts again. It’s been months and all Bodhi can do is huff and puff about the chances he doesn’t get to have because of his cousin.
“How come you’ve never asked me out?” you call out behind him.
“What?” His soul almost leaves his body as he spins in the dining hall chair.
“Imogen leaked,” you admit with the most innocent smile. “Apparently you’ve been smitten with me for months.”
“…I don’t know where she got that,” Bodhi deadpans.
“Oh, so you don’t like me?” You make sure so casually as if talking about the weather. “Cause she said something about obsessing over me for the past half of the year.”
“I don’t dislike you,” he wasn’t sure what the right answer is to this weird test. “But I don’t know why she’d say that.”
“Alright then,” you shrug and place your own study books down.
“Why would you want me to like you?” Bodhi can’t help but ask after a minute. “I’m hardly something to tender over.”
“You kidding?” You actually laugh. “You are so smart, you’re like, one of the best riders in our year, you’ve gotten five kids successfully trained so they don’t die in this place on your own, and you’re so kind to everyone who speaks to you… you’re a catch for whoever you’ll be interested in.”
Never in his life has he heard anyone speak of his qualities and not compare him to Xaden once. He was only falling more in love with you with every word you ever said. He couldn’t believe you’d think all this about him. And he couldn’t believe Imogen betrayed him and told you all about his feelings.
“Imogen didn’t lie,” he admits quietly.
“Sorry, what was that?” your head picks up from the book you’re studying.
“Imogen didn’t lie about what I feel to you,” Bodhi repeats. “I just… I couldn’t believe anyone would ever see me too.”
“Why not? You’re great,” you shake your head.
“Because everything is always about Xaden. He’s the only one people see. I’m just… his worse second-hand copy,” he locks his fists. “It’s like I’m not even a person, just some tool to extend him.”
“You think you have to aspire for everything he reaches?” You ask.
“It’s not me who does the expecting,” his jaw grinds. “I thought you liked him too? That you expect me to just be his aid. You were always with him…”
“Bodhi, Xaden is just my friend. Sure, we do some work together, but that doesn’t mean I’m interested in him,” you cringe a little disgusted. “Besides, to me he could never compare to your qualities. He’s not as kind and smart and charming.”
“Everyone takes me as this substitute just in case. I’m not allowed to be my own person. I’m just his cousin,” he admits.
“You’re noone’s copy Bodhi,” you state. “You are amazing just the way you are, in your own way. You don’t need to be like Xaden, you’re already best as you are.”
“Thank you for thinking that,” he smiles. “Not a lot of people take us as two different people.”
“You don’t have to thank me for the truth,” you shake your head. “Just keep being amazing and don’t hide in someone’s shadow. And I’ll probably have to have a talk with your friends.”
“Please don’t,” your playful wink scares him. “I want them to keep liking my future girlfriend.”
“Well then you better get back to battle history, dear future boyfriend,” you playfully poke him.
“Will do,” he salutes but his gaze keeps running away to your concentrated adorably scrunched up face.
Bodhi’s whole life was filled with shadows and doubts, boots too big to ever fill. But you made him believe he can make his own boots, his own decisions to dictate his fate. And it does not need to be like Xaden’s.
