Roles of a bonus momma.
Let’s talk the role of a stepmother.
Everyone has a different interpretation of what a stepmom should or shouldn’t do. Some people think a stepmom should be actively involved while others say we should let the parents be the parents and do the minimum. I’ve been following a lot of stepmom/bonus mom pages on Facebook and trying to see how everyone navigates within their blended family.
First, let me tell you my role as a stepmom and it’s a very active one:
I discipline and they ask me for my permission 95% of the time
Their teachers are in constant communication with me instead of their mom/dad. Most of the parent-teacher meetings are organized by moi
When they have practice, guess who drives them?!
I’m with all of my kids 90% of the time
This sounds like ME, ME, ME but this is what I have taken on as a bonus momma. Some people have said, “Well, you signed up for this when you agreed to marry HIM.” Yes, I signed up to be a stepmom but I didn’t expect to be the main parent while their biomom is away with her husband or didn’t expect for my husband to have a career change and work a lot.
I’ve come across a few of these Facebook pages and have noticed everyone has a different blended family dynamic. Have you ever heard of nachoing your stepkids?! I didn’t know it was a thing until I started reading more. Nacho is when you step back and don’t do as much, you let the parents be the parents and you’re there for more of a friend role. This wouldn’t work for me because of the way work/custody schedules are but it does work for a lot of other mommas out there.
Then you have people who want you to do everything but constantly remind you that you’re not the bio parent.
What is your role as a stepmom?
