ok so it was actually inspired from this little drabble, which i'm putting under the cut since it's very small. things like this is why, every once in a while, i open my inbox up to requests (which i fill very inconsistently lmfao). the original drabble was requested, but as soon as i wrote it, i had such a vivid mental picture that i was immediately formulating the full fic that same night. i think i was up until like 3am writing it on my phone?
i think this fic is my favorite fic that i've written, and i'm really proud of it, in terms of characterization, relationship building, and prose/dialogue. i wasn't trying to make it super angsty, but it's also a bit of a departure from my typical light and fluffy rom-coms.
also. my favorite line in the fic is actually a really short one that only one person commented on:
He’s right, of course. You sigh loudly, perhaps a little too obnoxiously, and Jihoon laughs at you. “You peel me like a clementine,” you mumble. “It’s terrible, being known.”
anyways, original request under the cut, with my favorite parts in bold
I don’t like relationships. That had been the deal from the beginning. Jihoon doesn’t want strings, because strings are complicated, they tangle, they tie you to another person and leave thin rubbed-raw burns when they break.
His room is illuminated in a dim violet neon glow when you get dressed, fingers moving slowly as you turn your shirt back right-side-out. Jihoon is sitting at his desk, brow furrowed as he scrolls through his phone, undoubtedly looking at something work-related. Jihoon doesn’t like relationships, you remind yourself. This was never the case for you. Normally, you’d refuse the arrangement. You want something real, from the heart, serious. You don’t like playing around. But here you are, the end of another night, pulling your jacket back over your shoulders, because you can’t find it in yourself to break things off with Jihoon. Just being near him is enough, you tell yourself, a bold-faced lie.
“Do you want me to call you a lyft?” Jihoon looks up from his phone and you think your heart could burst from the way the sharp line of his eyes and the curve of his lips fills you up.
“Jihoon,” you say, your lips dry. There’s so much you want to tell him. I want strings, you think. I want complicated, I want messy, I just want this to be real.
“Hmm?” I don’t like relationships, in Jihoon’s voice, seared into your memories.
“Nothing,” you mumble, shoving your phone in your pocket and turning to leave. “Good night.”
director’s commentary on home is a feeling, or any of your taeil fics!
i don't know if i have too much commentary on home is a feeling, actually ! not on the actual fic itself, anyway. moreso on the reception it received haha which....is vast and absolutely wild to me. that is became my most popular fic. and people are still recommending it to this day, a year and some change later. wild.
my fave part of that fic is still the bit with the magic trick, im still in awe of myself for writing that LOL
now ! on some of my taeil fics that is an entirely different story haha
arrival was supposed to be much...more than it is. i think because i left it so last minute i wasn't able to capture exactly what i wanted to in it and while i think the emotions and the atmosphere i got across, there could have been much more nuance to their connection.
for example, i wanted to get across the idea that taeil wasn't just...passively waiting there for her. initially it was much more of a...an ambiguous question. like he had had flings and romances through the years of their separation but nothing ever quite felt right. and same for the reader character.
but the sort of liminal feeling of it. the time having passed for so long and then yet not feeling like any time at all? i think that came across well.
it also is meant to sort of feel like a period piece without being set in any specific period so im hoping that also came across !!
