Becoming Santa.......
Christmas and the Best Gift I Ever Got.....
As a father, we notoriously get terrible gifts. As a dad you get a tie or a tool box. I grew not necessarily rough, but, we didn’t have a huge bounty either. So i promised myself that as I grew up i would make sure i got myself a gift every year. I also promised myself that my children would have great Christmas’s every year as far as i could provide it. Some years my brother and i would share a big gift like a Nintendo. Eventually i would get a job and every year buy myself the Christmas pair of Jordan’s annually.
Fast forward a few years. I’m married with children. Now Christmas is all about them. Somehow though that made me like the holiday more. If i spent it at my mothers house we would do a secret Santa and laugh at the gifts and surprises of who has who in the secret Santa. We would always pick names out of a hate during my younger sister’s birthday party a week before Christmas or at Thanksgiving. If we were at my in laws house we would all gather in the basement to listen to music, dance and eat.
This year at my moms house this year some of my sisters have issues with my mother and didn’t show up. Everyone appeared tired and not into the festivities. Luckily the holidays were saved last night by a gathering with my wife’s family bringing all the gifts for the kids and everyone laughing and joking. Exactly what i needed to get back into the spirit of the season.
Part of the reason that the season didn’t feel as special to me was that this year my wife and i spent so much money making our anniversary special that we agreed to not buy additional a Christmas gifts. This was a mistake. I bought my wife some sneakers for Christmas regardless but i didn’t wrap them i didn’t surprise her. I didn’t make it an event like i normally would. Next year Christmas 2020 will be one of exclusively surprise gifts and dramatics. My wife didn’t get me anything for Christmas because she got me a coat that was expensive for her so we agreed that she didn’t need a second gift. I secretly and stupidly expected her to get me something despite telling her not to do so. I don’t hold that against her i just kind of wanted to be involved in the gift opening with everyone else. That leads me to the best gift she ever got me. Which also happened to be the cheapest gift she ever got me. See I’m obsessed with the Jordan retro 12s sneakers and one year the Space Jam retro 11s came out at the same time. I was upset because she didn’t get the sneakers i wanted and i hadn’t gone to get them myself because she said she would get them for Christmas and with my connections in the mall security staff i would’ve gotten a pair separated for me. So i was so upset and throwing a tantrum that when she surprised me with 3 different color pairs of the retro 12 plus the pair of Space jam 11s i was so busy throwing a tantrum that i couldn’t turn it off and behave appreciative of the amazing gifts i received i was so disappointed in myself. So while this gift probably would’ve been the greatest gift she ever got me the anger i experienced and my stupid behavior took away all the emotion and joy out of the moment because i was being childish. I still regret that behavior to this day. I feel really ashamed so ashamed by my behavior i never apologized for it and i don’t mention it i just kind of hope she forgave me and knew that i absolutely loved it.
The best gift i ever received from my wife and probably ever was one that showed despite not having money that she was thinking of me. That she paid attention and that she cared it was perfect. She got me a book writing book for me to begin writing poetry again, a peanuts Charlie Brown collection of all the comic strips ever written and a calendar of Charlie Brown. It was perfect. It moved me. It showed insight and paying attention to things i held dear from childhood. That’s the thing about good gifts, when chosen correctly it’s worth so much more than monetary value it’s about the thought truly. So yeah becoming Santa sucks but there are moments where the magic is still there.......