When your depression and anxiety are tied to a deeply ingrained perfectionism and your bosses confirm that their expectation is you make exactly ZERO mistakes ever.

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When your depression and anxiety are tied to a deeply ingrained perfectionism and your bosses confirm that their expectation is you make exactly ZERO mistakes ever.
And the rug is pulled out from under me again
Having a pretty rough go right now. Every time I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel, my world gets flipped on its ear. Busting my ass the last few years, working full time plus a full time side business, I was within a couple years of being debt free. An ill timed and totally bullshit call into my boss’s office today changed all that. With no fuckin warning, no preemptive conversation, I was demoted today. This is the second time this has happened with this company. I thought this place was different. Only took my 7+ years to discover I was so wrong. I felt something was off the last couple months. Even confronted my boss about it (I really listen to my gut feelings), and I was assured that all was well. “I value so much, you’re an integral part of this team”...blah blah bullshit. I’m not so surprised I guess. Just really fuckin hurt. I have busted my ass for a decade for this company. And for what? To be shot right the fuck down. Being a strong, opinionated woman in a male-dominated business in bassackwards hick fuckin ville USA is impossible. You’re not allowed to have a bad day or get too busy. The face that I have more knowledge and availability than my everyone else in my location, including my boss, and even my boss’s boss doesn’t mean a fucking thing. Apparently you’re supposed to just have a fuckin smile plastered to your face at all times. Well, I’m not a fake person, so that doesn’t work for me. Being knowledgeable and good at what you do no longer seem to be important. Just smile, keep your damn mouth shut, and make people happy. Well guess what folks, this is the real world. I personally don’t trust people who smile all the time. It’s not natural. So once I’m able to get the annual bonus I’m supposedly suppose to be getting, I’m out. Fuck this shit. I refuse to not be appreciated when I bust my ass. I come in early, work late, work on my days off, take on all the shit my boss is too fucking lazy to do. And what do I get for it? A demotion. And taking my title away is supposed to make me work harder? What God damn mother fucking motivation is that? Why the hell would I stay and work for someone who treats me like a doormat? So it will end in the next couple months. And it will come with no warning. I will ever so slowly clean out my office as to not call attention to anyone. Once my bonus hits my account, I’m gonna nope the fuck outta there. No warning, no notice. I’m just going to set my out of office reply to “I quit” and go about my life. I would rather clean fucking toilets at Walmart for minimum fucking wage than be treated like that. So here’s to a couple months of smiling through all the bullshit and biting my tongue (I just hope I don’t bite that bitch off). The utter satisfaction of telling my boss FUCK YOU with no warning will be such an award in itself.
You are worth more than what you think
Age, tittles and gender don't determine your value...you do
Call out :p
Me: "i cant come in today. I have no excuses. I didnt puke. Im not sick. I dont have a fever."
Mngr: "so whats wrong then?"
Me: "i pulled my neck and i legit cant fuckin move at all. It really hurts"
Mngr: "well you sound fine to me"
Me: "well you sound like a doctor to me"
Mngr: "fine.. See you tomorrow"