#both mine

[desper8thymes]

[sluttery-withoutshame]

@2000-man1, actual photo of me handling both men.

[beautifulpaxielreads]

Third Annual TBR Challenge, March 2022

Title: Vespertine (Vespertine #1)

Author/s: Margaret Rogerson

Page count: 393

Rep: Margaret Rogerson answered a Tumblr ask (link) stating that Artemisia, the MC, is aromantic/asexual, although I never discovered any specific mention of it in the text. Rogerson has said (in a Tumblr post that has since been deleted - I found the information on Goodreads [link]) that other characters in the novel are queer [link], and even though said queerness is not discussed in this book, it will be covered later on in the series. Also, it has been speculated that Artemisia is on the autism spectrum/is neurodivergent, but Rogerson has yet to confirm this information[link].

Trigger warnings: Animal abuse, descriptions of past child abuse (both physical and emotional) including confinement and self-harm using fire, body horror, murder (including references to mass murder), blood, anxiety, mental illness, violence, necromancy and possession of human bodies by spirits, religious bigotry, fire and fire-related injuries, self-harm, PTSD, battle scenes, medical content, psychological torture, ableism, minor warnings for bullying, suicide

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ 1/2 (Four and a half stars out of five)

Read more under the cut for my slightly (ok, very) spoiler-ish thoughts.

Thoughts in brief (not that brief, lol):

You might notice in the photo I posted that this book is already looking a little worse for wear. If the amount of damage to a book is an indication of how well-loved it is, then this one is very, very well loved. Of all the Margaret Rogerson books I've read (granted, this is only the second), Vespertine is - in my opinion - the best yet. And it's going to be a series - how awesome is that?!

As I was reading, I kept flipping the pages back, trying to find bits of information that I had overlooked in order to better understand the place I was at. I was so invested in the plot and characters that I read late into the night and actually had to make myself put the book down.

I would like to applaud Rogerson (as well as all her supporters, promoters, editors, etc), because for her, this was an incredibly difficult book to write. She was in COVID isolation and was, in her words, "the most depressed I'd ever been in my life." Massive, massive respect and kudos to you, Madame Rogerson.

I cannot rave enough about Vespertine's MC, Artemisia. She was so well-rounded, so well-written. A character like her runs the risk of being unlikeable, but thanks to Rogerson's writing, this is never the case. Rogerson makes you care about Artemisia and care what happens to her - which is exactly what I, as a reader, want in the characters I'm reading about.

The world-building was really well done too - so carefully crafted and intricate, with the relics, spirits, nuns and the other religious aspects. I'll admit it took a while for me to fully grasp how it all worked, but once I did, I was invested and committed to the world that Rogerson had created.

Now I've talked about the worldbuilding, I simply must mention the revenant, the incredibly powerful, murder-hungry (at least at first) spirit that comes to inhabit Artemisia's body (apologies for my poor explanation, it makes more sense in the book, I promise). Despite its mass-murdering tendencies and hatred of the clergy (known as the Clerisy), it has a delightfully snarky wit and it grows to genuinely care for Artemisia, who, thanks to abuse suffered during her childhood, often forgets to eat or get proper rest. She, in turn, comes to increasingly rely on the revenant for lending her its power and its often blunt advice, and the two develop a close bond which is really heartwarming. The supporting characters were well-drawn too, particularly Mother Dolours and Marguerite.

Despite a slow start - and there were other places where it dragged a little (only a little!) - the plot moved along at a good pace and the eventual twist leading to the climax made logical sense, but also managed to be genuinely surprising.

Loved, loved, loved it - highly recommend! (But please do take the trigger warnings seriously).

[iemergedoutofthewater]

You’ve heard of Cat-Dog , now get ready for Dog-Dog

[earthpodd]

If you don’t mind me asking this, but why do you not like to use the term ‘top/bottom’? I’m not trying to be rude, just curious. And because I identify as female and I don’t really feel sexual attraction (which leaves me inexperienced) I’m kinda at a lack of understanding

I don’t mind at all love. Basically, it’s because I find the top/bottom roles toxic, because heterosexual people use them to “grade” the “level of gayness” of someone, and so they deem the “bottom” as “really gay” and direct most of their hate towards them while the “top” is more “real man”, so they get less hate and are deemed “more straight”, like they can be “salvaged” and straight people have an obsession with that, because they are constantly trying to fit same-sex couples into their heterosexual gender roles. Though, I do apologise if I ever made you feel bad about using those terms. I tend to react badly when faced with them and tend to not police myself on it.

[beautifulpaxielreads]

Third Annual TBR Challenge, February 2022

Title: Gilded (Gilded #1)

Author/s: Marissa Meyer

Page count: 500

Trigger warnings: Blood, body horror (including a flesh-eating zombie), emotional abuse, gore, grief, pregnancy, animal cruelty (including hunting for sport), animal death, child death, death of parent, murder, violence, confinement, death, kidnapping, slavery, cannibalism (hinted), and abortion threat (not followed through), abandonment, some alcohol use, implied sexual content. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THESE WARNINGS LIGHTLY (especially the blood and gore).

Rep: Hints of a potentially lesbian relationship (minor characters), one of these women is described as being darker-skinned and having once been married to a man (she is widowed). Description of the moss maidens (nymphs) as having varied shades of skin colour.

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4 out of 5 stars)

My slightly spoiler-ish thoughts under the cut.

Thoughts in brief:

I have a lot of thoughts about this one but I feel like these would be better shared in bullet-point format rather than fully-formed paragraphs. So here goes!

The incorporation of German folklore (from what I looked up as I was reading) into the story seemed to be very well done, Meyer clearly did her homework. All the elements made sense plot-wise and it never felt shoe-horned in.

The romance was sweet if maybe a tad rushed. I did like Gild.

500 pages long! It managed to hold my interest despite some weaker parts, but I think it could have been trimmed.

If you like your fairy tale retellings dark a la Grimm Brothers, this one will be right up your alley. I know I've already said this, but please take the trigger warnings seriously. There is blood. Lots of blood. Animals are hunted for sport. And children die (gruesomely). I'm still spooked thinking about it all. Was it overdone? I don't know - but it kind of makes me uneasy.

Serilda is a strong, feisty, quick-witted heroine - far from your typical damsel in distress.

The Erlking (or Erlkönig) is one of the best villains I've ever read. He is truly frightening and I'm rooting for him to get his comeuppance. Painfully.

Cliffhangers suck.

Despite my somewhat ambivalent feelings about this book, I'm still giving it four stars because on the whole I really enjoyed it. I'm really curious to see what happens in book 2!

[beautifulpaxielreads]

Third Annual TBR Challenge, February 2022

Title: Rebecca

Author/s: Daphne du Maurier

Page count: 400

Rep: None

Trigger warnings: Murder, death, toxic relationship, ableism, dementia, emotional abuse, infidelity, suicidal thoughts, cancer/terminal illness (minor), gun violence, incest (between first cousins), gaslighting, bullying, violence, alcohol use, period-specific cultural appropriation/racism/Islamophobia (specifically from Middle Eastern and Chinese cultures), blood, grief, misogyny, classism, fire, fatphobia, body horror, death of parents (minor)

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐ (3 stars out of 5)

Read more under the cut for my slightly spoiler-ish thoughts.

Thoughts in brief:

What a strange, unsettling book this is.

I'm writing this review several days after I finished it, at least in part because I genuinely did not know what I would say about it.

I know Rebecca appears on many "best-of" book lists, and I can see why - it's absolutely dripping with atmosphere and suspense, like no other book that I have read for some time. Du Maurier's descriptions of the natural world struck me as particularly vivid. And it is quite a page-turner - I did often end up reading for longer periods than I had originally planned to.

I gave this book three stars for those reasons - but if you asked me whether I enjoyed it, I don't know if I'd be able to give a concrete answer.

Perhaps part of the problem lies in the fact that this novel is very much a product of its time - its attitudes to race, class, gender, body image and disability are incredibly dated and jarring for a contemporary reader. There were two examples that stood out to me:

Around about halfway through the novel a costume party takes place. White characters dress up in an Orientalist fashion - among them an Arabian sheikh (who appears in brownface) and an Arabian courtesan, as well as a Chinese courtier (yellowface). Blackface is also discussed briefly.

A man with a profound intellectual disability is referred to several times as an "i***t" (I use asterisks here, hopefully, it is clear what term is meant). To provide some context, in the 19th and early twentieth centuries, this term, which today is rightly regarded as deeply offensive, was used as a medical/psychological classification.

Many of the characters were incredibly unlikeable, some probably intentionally so. Worst of all was probably the housekeeper, Mrs Danvers, who is a bully of the very worst sort and even, at one point, encourages the protagonist to commit suicide (not carried out). The protagonist's husband, Maxim de Winter is cold and patronising, as well as being twice her age. I never really bought into her infatuation with him, and the sudden transformation in her character towards the end was not terribly believable. Our heroine, who is never named, was understandable at first in her awkwardness and shyness, and I sympathised with her plight. But there were times when I wanted to tell her to stand up for herself, and I didn't like the way she was so dismissive of other people.

Would I recommend this novel? I don't know. All I know is it wasn't really my cup of tea.