#bowain

[scribblingbearcat]

Avenjj was real, and there, and broken, and hemorrhaging what was left of her soul.

Saberwitch, talkin’ headcanons re: Avenjj and Bowain, slaying mY HEART

[kotorswtor]

saberwitch said: “So uncivilized.”

“Your superlatively civilized prison warden is indisposed.” She tilted her head to indicate the late Major Bessiker, retracted the pike’s blade, and held it at her side. “If you would like me to order a replacement, I can.”

[kotorswtor]

Seriously though, this is a thing that probably happens:

Bowain is investigating a thing at a location that's not readily showing up in the Archives, and finds senior padawan or newly-knighted Ellekai on the off-hours reference desk. Her initial reaction is "LOLOL ur a dumbass Akkadi how u gon lose a planet" until that planet being integral to the structure of the (still recorded intact) system is pointed out. She gets a little suspicious and checks the change log. It's been altered in a way that registers as a little odd. She hauls Bowain by his sleeve down to the basement and they spend a fun-filled evening sorting through thirty years worth of backup disks that may or may not be readable themselves and making passive-aggressive jabs at each others' intelligence. They come to the conclusion that the Jedi Order's assumed-secure stock of cartographic data has been systematically altered under suspicious circumstances, that there's a hole in their infosec procedures that has gone undiscovered for who knows how long, and that that's pretty karking frightening.

[scribblingbearcat]

Saved

"…the twileks. We need to offer them out help," Avenjj said firmly. "Council, masters, they need us. Ignoring them will not make them go away and only breeds ill will," she added. The assembled Jedi Council around her wore varying expressions. Her old master, Zeenah, sat across from her, inscrutable as always.

She was trying to get the Council to approve a branch of the Temple at the village. Padawans snuck off to there all the time as it was. If they established an outpost there, not only could they keep an eye on the flesh raiders and expose the padawans and older students to the world outside the Temple, but they could foster good will as well.

She took a sip of her tea, letting it settle her. She loved tea-

No, wait, she didn’t… this was wrong, somehow, wrong-

Her hands were human, calluses, strong and big and not hers, she was no force damned JEDI, what was going on-

Walking the halls, smiling at students who passed him/her/them, looking forward to the sunset over the mountains and a few hours of meditation in peace-

No, no, NO, she hated peace, this hurt- she remembered being those hopeful faces and this hurt she hated it make it stop-

Looking on as an Imperial Agent was arrested by Republic forces and his/her/thier work was done-

Swelling pride and pleasure as his/her/thier master (not my master no what is happening stop) gave them a rare good job-

Laughing with someone at a hot, delicious meal, feeling at home here, safe, secure, purposeful, and yes even loved-

Stop it stop it STOP IT MAKE IT STOP-

Lightsabers hummed as she sparred with a training droid, one with the Force, the feeling she forgot she knew, not the dark side but the icy-hot sort of feeling like drinking from the purest meltwater spring that makes your teeth hurt and she should be dead darkness and cold inky depths what was going on what is happening stop mAKE IT

"STOP!"

The word carried the Force with it. Glass shattered, she fell down, suddenly liquid -water?- everywhere. Avenjj hit hard metal floor, cutting herself and bleeding anew. The air was freezing on her silvery wet skin, the liquid from the kolto tank dripping off her in rivulets that ran akimbo to the myriad of scars that crossed her body.

Avenjj Taress hacked and coughed, yanked off the breathing mask and pulling the trachea tube more slowly. It burned as she did. Besides what was needed for modesty she was naked, barefoot, and felt as weak as a newborn kitten, shaking in the chill of the room and gasping for breath and control.

….What- what was that- those horrid dreams- how did I get here-

I should be dead.

Of that she was certain. She should be a pale corpse under the ice of the lake. So why…?

The assassin froze.

Akkadi. That son of a bitch. Why?

….Why did he save me?

I guess he really is as stupid as he fucking looks.

Glass scraped the floor and cut her palms. She relished it, feeding on the pain as she pushed herself up and stood on shaky knees. First things first: get the hell out of here.

Then she would figure things out. Like how best to slowly kill her favorite Jedi. Or why he was turning up in her dreams.

Half recalled emotion swamped her, feelings she hadn’t touched in years of torment. Avenjj threw them away, grasped invisibly for the dark side and her hate, seeking the familiar burn.

There it was…..

Yes. Yes. She hated him of course.

The dreams were nothing more than some… Medical side effect. She would have Quinn give her something for them when she got back. That had to be it. Yes.

Seemingly immune to the broken shards that littered the floor and cut her where she stepped, Avenjj took a moment to cross the room and raid the medical supply cabinet, bypassing the locks entirely by simply yanking the door off with the Force.

Gauze went around her hands and feet with terribly practiced efficiency, as used as she was to dressing her own wounds, and a syringe of bacta into her thigh. Avenjj looked up as she tied the last bandage around her right hand with her teeth holding one end.

A security camera.

She gave it her best, wickedest, most horrifying smile, the one she wore during skinning someone alive, wolffish and feral and teethy.

Then she blew a kiss to it, the gesture ending with one elegant silver finger telling them exactly what she thought of thier half assed attempts to heal and contain her.

Stupid, STUPID Jedi.

Standing, she took someone’s lab coat that was draped over a chair and the longest, sharpest shard of glass she could find. It wasn’t much in the way of weaponry and armor.

But not she NEEDED much.

Maybe when I get out of here and we meet agian, I can have HIM walk across broken glass. There’s a cheerful idea, she thought. Without further ado she shoved the door right off its hinges and sent it flying into the hall. Sires began to sound, a warning.

By some miracle, Avenjj Taress was not dead. Not yet. And the universe had the dubious honor of thanking Bowain Akkadi for it.

"Now, where are the escape pods…."

[scribblingbearcat]

Hypothermia of the Heart

She shivered. The hutt’a barge got so cold at night, so cold… Seeped into the metal and turned the Pit into an icebox, stabbing at her lungs with every hard breath like knives. Darkness and cold and silence, alone, shaking pitifully in a ball of battered child -woman?- curled up on the sand…

//”…peration may not be successful…” “Tissue damage… Irreversible…” “…and her core temperature is lower than I have ever seen in a humanoid, let alone…” “Someone is going to have to tell General Akkadi…”//

Akkadi. Why was that familiar?

No, it hurt to think. She curled tighter into herself, trying to fall back into sweet oblivion. Everything felt coated in ice or lead or both. Breathing hurt, the simple act of existing pushing her limits.

Sleep. The place where she didn’t have to think anymore. Where it was warm and quiet, and…

Akkadi wasn’t quiet.

Where had that come from? Who was Akkadi? How did she know it was a who?

She shook her head, tried to go back to the blackness.

Nothing hurt there. It was not too bright and not too dark and warm, like- like a hand holding hers as they moved through the motions of a dance, predator and prey with the roles so blurred she didn’t know them anymore. Searing heat at the small of her back, warm breath on her cheek.

Akkadi was warmth.

The feel of huge hands compared to her child sized ones, wrapping a cloak around her on snowy Tython days, sitting in front of a fire with the only other person who had been warmth to her, slowly thawing frozen fingers from a snowball fight.

HE had been warm. Akkadi was warm.

But she was so, so cold, had been for so long. It was better he stay away, away from her cold in the Pit, away from this place… And most especially away from her.

//”-art rate dropping, we are losing her, get me the epi and the paddles!”//

Avenjj was the vacuum of space, blackness, pure and untouched by light.

"…Except you aren’t. Space has stars, the fire of uncounted suns, burning bright enough to light the universe, my dear."

That voice.

The child/woman looked up from her fetal position. A hand extended from the darkness, a gentle, calluses hand in a simple robe, attached to strong arms, defined chest, broad shoulders, stupid ginger fucking beard, and the bluest eyes.

"Come back to me. You aren’t don’t yet. You can’t be."

But I am tired. So tired, and cold…

"So are stars, before they reach fusion mass, and ignite the galaxy."

//”….coming back.” “Heart rate stabilizing! Increasing! Force be damned, look at that, she just won’t die-“//

No. No I won’t.

I have work to do.

Akkadi. Fucking Akkadi.

My… Revenge…

Drawn back from the doorstep of death’s parlor, Avenjj slipped into deep, blessedly dreamless, sleep.

[bitsypookums]

Loren II, what on earth drives you to needle and be around a certain silver skinned semi ex sith? What do you think of her and Bowain?

"Well, there’s the obvious: she’s got a wicked sense of humor, good taste in liquor, and is pretty damn easy on the eyes… as Master Assbutt has clearly noticed.

"More than that, though?  I like people.  I like stories.  And if someone trusts me with a bit of their story, I try to honor that.  Avenjj knows a bit about me, and I know a bit about her.  I care about her.  She’s been through… well, more than anyone ever should.  And she’s understandably spiky as a result.  …She’s my friend.

"And, you know.  I tend to needle my friends.  It’s a love language!

"As far as she and Woobie are concerned, basically they need to be locked in a room to kill each other or kiss each other or both.  My estimate is one hour of attempted escape, fifteen minutes of collaboration to that end, six hours of trying and failing to kill each other, and then, ultimately, a lifetime of stupid force-bonded kissy faces when they think we’re not looking.  And loud bickering when they think we are.

"Trust me, I’m a brilliant matchmaker.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise."

[scribblingbearcat]

Chicken Noodle Soup

It was not often one saw Jedi Knight Bowain Dar-Akkadi in the Temple kitchens, nevermind with an actual apron on. He could cook, but it was not his calling.

However...

"It's been ten days. She won't eat anything. She just throws it at whoever tries to give her the meals," said the healer sadly. "She's still healing, very much so. Her body NEEDS nourishment; in fact, she was probably underweight to begin with, but now..."

Now, she refused anything given to her. Whether out of stupid, stubborn pride or something else, he wasn't sure, though he suspected pride had a little to do with it.

After all... Everything had changed, entirely without her consent. It's no wonder she grabbed control of such a small thing. A pang in his heart reminded him this was partially his fault; but the alternative was unthinkable. He would not, COULD not, leave her to die at the Council's judgement, or the Republic's, whatever she had done.

No matter what she may think she deserved for what she had done, for he had his suspicions about that, too. 

This particular recipe was something he learned from his master, the ever wise and inscrutable Zeenah Ninghiz. Bowain remembered fondly when he'd caught a cold meditating under the waterfall, and she'd made this for him. It seemed like magic at the time, maybe because she'd made it for him, specifically. He hoped it would be the same for Avenjj. 

She was so weak. 

It was a horribly strange thought to think about Avenjj Badass Motherfucking Queen Bitch of the Sith, and she'd make him eat his own eyeballs if she ever caught wind of it. But three months comatose took thier toll on even her, not to mention her extensive injuries. How she survived remained a mystery; muscle atrophy on top of that, well... 

Avenjj had pegged him with a teacup two days ago and it barely hurt. If she were at her full strength it would have broken his nose at the minimum.

The water on the stove began to boil, and he set it to a slow simmer, smelling the savory chicken stock (also home made) as he began to chop carrots. Then he added celery, corn, a few peas, roast chicken, noodles, and seasoning. The entire thing went on a slow simmer to bring out all the flavors to thier very fullest. 

He took a spoonful, sipped it carefully. It exploded onto his tongue. 

"Oh, you outdid yourself this time, Bowain my boy." 

Very pleased with himself, next was the bread- soft fresh baked bread, perfect for sopping up the leftover broth. Two peices and a moderate amount of soup, a glass of ice water (she despised tea, he knew) and he put the entire thing on a tray, ready to go.

In a fit of mischeif, he added a fresh daisy on the side, and garnished the soup with parsley and a dash of cheese.

Perfect. 

Humming to himself, he picked up the tray and began the walk to the hospital wing. He had a plan.

"Good afternoon, my dear," he said as he opened the door to her room. Bowain was met with that familiar, snapping icy eyed glare. It would have been more formidable had she not been clad in one of those ridiculous hospital gowns, or her cheeks less sunken, or the bandages peeking out from underneath the cloth less fresh. 

They said her burns were hideous, when the removed her from the kolto tank. He knew they were being polite. Bowain's heart hurt afresh. What happened to you, darling? 

Stony silence met his cheerful greeting. 

"Well, I am having a lovely afternoon. I thought I'd stop by, see if you wanted company-"

"Yes, I just adore visiting with my jailers," she spat. He ignored her mightily, even if the comment stung. Bowain took a seat by the table next to her bed, just out of reach. Her hands twitched reflexively in the force cuffs that were attached to the wall by a long, but strong, lead. 

"Well, I thought I would return the favor for Korriban," he replied with a smile. 

"I should have killed you when I had the chance."

"What would killing me accomplish now, Avenjj?" he asked. "You're not Sith anymore-"

"Yes I am, Akkadi, and you'd do WELL to remember that," she hissed venomously. He felt her emotions, tumult though they were, bleeding under the walls she'd thrown up and kept in place ever since he told her of thier Bond. Too many to count, too potent to examine closely. They almost hurt HIM in thier strength.

He sighed. "Whatever you say, my dear."

Glare glare glare.

Trying to ignore her, he unrolled the napkin with it's silverware and put it on his lap. Bowain brought the soup closer to him. "I assume you don't mind if I eat," he added.

More silence, more glaring.

Suddenly, his comm beeped, right on cue. He sighed. 

"Alas, duty calls. I'll be right back!"

Bowain felt her glare follow him out as he turned the corner and vanished from her vision. The door shut behind him... 

And he settled down in front of the security camera in her room (the one she had yet failed to find and destroy with well placed cutlery) to wait.

One hour passed. 

Two.

At two and a half, she began to eye the meal. 

At three, she took the bait, stretching out one long leg to hook around the table leg and drag it within reach. The soup would be cold, but it didn't seem to matter to her; she ate voraciously, with the speed of someone afraid it would be taken away if it didn't disappear in a hurry.

An old habit, he suspected. Oh, Avenjj. I knew you couldn't resist thinking you'd gotten one over me. But if this is what it takes to get you to eat, and heal, so be it. 

Maybe we can have lunch together tomorrow.

[scribblingbearcat]

It occurs to me that...

...This is Avenjj's face during most of Tython and Coruscant and any time there is Super Justice Friends and in general when fucking Akkadi tries to do something nice stupid. Also when Loren tries to get her to 'lighten up'.