( @bowise. )
caleb doesn’t want death.
there are things he has to do and people he has to protect. making things right, whatever that means for himself. he thinks he’ll be ready to die if it means his parents get to live, but as it stands right now, he’s still far away from that point. and until it reaches him, the mighty nein rely on him to do his job as part of the team. that’s how it works.
when the fight breaks out he stays in the back, as he always does. there’s no space for him on the frontlines, no time for decisions or strategizing. a couple of bandits had ambushed their group mid-day, giving them the advantage of surprise, and there’s enough self-confidence and skill in their fighting that caleb knows better than to engage directly.
one of them passes his range as he tries to attack nott and caleb blasts a fireball into his back. it’s as startling as it always is, the scream of agony as the heat burns through fabric and skin, destroying anything it touches. glazed eyes watch as the man twitches, rolls around in the brown grass below trying to put the flame out, and eventually stops moving with a crossbow bolt in his skull. nott catches his gaze and he sees her grinning before turning to hide again.
it’s enough of a distraction for him to hear the footfall a little too late.
when caleb turns the man is already too close to react in time. if he burned him his own clothes would catch fire and there’s nothing else he can think of before he already feels metal sinking into his chest, pushing past bone and muscle, only to promptly be ripped from his body again. he tries to breathe and finds there’s only blood in his throat, a bubbling, hissing liquid where it escapes him, too much for comfort. enough to know that it’s too much.
he can’t see the man who did it, but he hears the footsteps away from himself after another tremor goes through him, another push into his chest. the sound is distorted, as if far away - he’s reminded of the ocean, the sound of noise below water, a pressure on his ears. caleb feels like he’s drowning. his body crumples to the ground like a ragdoll ripped from its strings, and he doesn’t feel the impact. one would think that’d be scary, to not feel anything after everything fell together on top of him, but even the panic is taken from him the second it starts to reach his consciousness. caleb is numb. caleb feels his chest heave with every gurgling breath he tries to take, blood spilling past dry lips, into the grass beneath his back.
caleb wonders if this is how mollymauk felt when he fell.
there’s a scream, and part of him thinks it’s nott, but the other recognizes his mother. her pained cries echoing in his mind as he remembers the night he killed his parents. he wants to get up. wants to run inside, wants to save them, but his limbs are so tired, and he feels so heavy. his body longs for sleep, and caleb recognizes it as death. he’s numb. he’s empty. he’s dying.
he doesn’t close his eyes, but the darkness reaches him anyways.
