#boyfriendspast

[timeunwinds]

I Liked Boys Who Wore Abercrombie & Fitch

     Let’s take a trip back to the 90s when ‘AF’ meant Abercrombie & Fitch                         and I liked all the boys who were wearing it.                            (You can see I had my priorities straight.)

In my early teens I was constantly rejected by the opposite sex until one day, without warning, they were suddenly interested in me. (Huh?) I hadn’t done anything differently, but somehow they were seeing me differently. I found it all very confusing. I went from constantly being rejected by guys to them wanting to date me. I definitely did not see that plot twist coming. 

Once I got past the initial fear and confusion of it all, I guess I got used to it. I guess you could say I began to take advantage of and embrace my new found romantic comedy life. I lived with the illusion that it would always be that way.<insert face palm emoji here> I eventually learned the cold hard truth, my romantic comedy life was only for a season, and I was just as single at the end as I was at the beginning. 

Now that I am older and wiser I can see what I had back then. Looking forward I know who/what to appreciate and not take for granted. I obviously can’t go back and fix my past relationships, but I can move forward with intention and awareness. That’s the upside to mistakes, they help you make better choices moving forward.

To all the boys I hurt before, I’m sorry. For I knew not what I did. Thank you for all of the romantic gestures, including, but not limited to the promposal (before it was even a thing), poetry, roses in my car, giving me your shirt when I was cold, bringing me soup when I was sick, following me home to make sure I got there alright, and answering my calls at any hour. 

Even if I am late to say I appreciated it all, know that I appreciated it all. Thank you for loving me. ; )

<3,

Lisa

                      🎵Blackstreet- We Gonna Take U Back/Don’t Leave Me🎵

[utterlysappy]

I loved you with a childish love One that couldn't think of anything more than forever, and white gowns. I loved you with a physical kind of love I just wanted you, my body wanted you, my fingertips wanted you, my skin wanted you And I loved you with a tamed kind of love One that liked how you held the door open for me, and smiled at me when I was sad. One that wanted you to teach our kids how to ride a bike. But him. I loved him with the most intense love I've ever felt. He was my waking moment and my ending thought. He was the like the peel of an orange on my fears and anxieties. He was my everything, my all that I lived for. I saw all my hopes and my dreams when I looked in his eyes. Oh I could go on for pages and pages, but what I'm trying to say is: I don't know how to love right after I loved him.

[freakishlytalldisaster]

men with kids.

so myke has a daughter. if you've been paying attention to anything i've ever said then you knew that...if you're new to this then yes. she's 5 and lives 4 hours away in middle Tennessee with her mother. 

my problem is my bestfriend asked me what she (ex wife) was like and how much she hates myke for keeping babygirl with her and all that bullshit. and i have NO IDEA because i am literally scared to hear him talk about her and their past. even though i know that he agrees that he shouldnt of  gotten married because he was young and it was for the wrong reasons and all that jazz but i feel like you can't just lay down and make a baby with someone and not love them even a tiny bit. let alone go through with getting married to them. i mean, i dont have any kids so i do not understand at all but i wanna know about her and what kind of person she is but i'm scared to bring it up. 

i've talked to myke's mama on the phone and she seems to hate babygirl's mother/ her son's ex wife very very much...but that's family business i guess. 

i need to chill. i worry tooo much.