#br(otp)

[7yd1a]

Do you guys ever have those fictional relationships that you kinda ship sometimes but would rather see as a friendship? Like a Br(OTP) or something?

[tjfuckingking]

This Love Seems Real || Self-Para

❝ — We said goodbye in the pouring rain

And I broke down as you walked away 

Because all my life I felt this way 

But I could never find the words to say 

S t a y

“I’m so sorry, Ty, I just am.”

The words echoed in his mind, words spoken three years ago by his best friend. He remembered the cool day, the same air that had brushed against his healing wounds, the feel of cool metal on his hands hours before. It had been the only speech that Tj had ever prepared for, the only one that he had ever had to run through a hundred times and still, now, to this day, he wondered if maybe he had done it wrong. Perhaps, there was some possibility that if he had just used different words, different phrases, been less intense, things would of gone differently. He knew he was kidding himself, more, he knew that he had sabotaged the best relationship he had ever had with the one thing that he could not stop himself from doing; Loving.  

It had not been easy. Tj had allowed his heart to be trampled, broken, crushed, a thousand times but this one had been different. It had taken a certain amount of his strength. His Mother had left him, she had made the choice to leave this world and with her she had taken a piece of him forever, a piece of innocence that was lost from blue eyes a long time before she had eventually killed herself. He had started to believe that her death had been a gift. The wrapping paper had been ugly and scary to touch but she had done it for him, it had taken him half of his life and a run in with death to understand that. Stephanie had broken his heart out of fear, she was not the person she thought she should be and so she had crippled him in an attempts to find herself. He could understand that. Jessica had used him as part of a game to fight a Father that was angry and vicious, who she could not control. He had loved her too much and she had crumbled beneath the pressure of a love she did not believe she deserved. That too, he had accepted. Carlie had loved him, or so he liked to think but she had also been stubborn, afraid, more in love with her vices than a boy who stood in her way. It had hurt but he had understood and moved on. Even Rose, who had torn his perfect world apart, who had been a hurricane that tore through every single part of his life and left him in a sobbing pile of ruins weighed down with the guilt of having to let her go, had not hurt him as much as Justin had managed to in one moment. He would of taken any of those pains a hundred times over before he would take hearing those same words. There had been no explanation. There had been no follow up. One moment Justin and Tyson had been best friends and within three weeks they had became strangers who would never talk again besides awkward three word email blasts and texts that seemed like they were to entire contact lists to cover up a growing need for words in the silence.

He had tried to be happy. He was happy. Just not as happy as he had been when Justin was still in his life. He didn’t know if people saw it, if they could sense it, if they questioned why there was still a wedding ring on his finger, a sign that he was committed to something that no longer existed, a sidenote of love that even in it’s most subtle years had been much more than he could explain. The tragedy had not been the failure of a marriage but the loss of a friendship. Maybe his love had always been too great but Justin had not said that, he had said nothing. If he had spoke to him, if he would of said a thing, if he had given Tj any hope at all then he would not of spent the last three years as he had. He would not of gone to Africa and never looked back... Not if there had been something for him to look forwards to right here, right where he started. 

He opened his eyes, hand reaching out towards the mirror he had covered upon his arrival that stood tall on the same desk he had spent years of his life sitting at. Even this room was haunted by memories of the friendship he had once been in possession of, a reminder of everything he had lost. Every corner reeked of emptiness, every engraved initial within wood an awful reminder of how simple things had been. It almost made him want to see himself. For the first time in three years it almost made him really want to see himself, to look the person he now was in the eye and tell himself to move on with his life. Let it go. His hand wavered ready to pull the towel from the mirror, fear twisting his guts -- who would be staring back at him? What if it was not him anymore? 

It was halfway between his thoughts that he considered that perhaps, the ring on his finger as pristine as it had been since the day he first put it on, should not be there. It had found a home on his finger and he had never removed it, not even once since the very day it had made it’s way there. Only in the midst of madness had it ever slid or became lost from the owner, himself who thought o fit as his most prized possession despite how rich he had became how much he owned. It would always be worth more. Justin would always be worth more. More than him. He had to breathe to remember that it was just a piece of metal, that years had passed and their marriage, it was void. It was nothing. You could not consider a joke a joke after this long, after every other part of a friendship had turned to dust. He had promised to always be Justin’s husband, in sickness and health and Justin had promised him the same in return and they had stuck to that, both saving one another from some sickness, both caring for each other until health returned. Maybe this was where death parted them. Not literal death but the death of who they had been, who they were meant to be. Three days earlier Tj had seen Justin, or whoever he was now, a strangely empty vessel of the boy he once knew, a person with a new life that did not include him. Justin did not want him in his life and he would not fight for that chance, even if he wanted to, this ring  was a just a reminder of his unwillingness to let go of a school boy love that he had once thought he knew. A love that he was now sure had been but a figment of his imagination when he needed it most, to believe that someone could possibly love him as much as he loved them. Twenty one years old he now stood and it was almost enough to make him laugh, lighting up his features for a split second before he realised that he was no longer laughing but crying instead. The tears did not fall, they simply sat in resignation as they had a million times before. He was all cried out.

The ring had wedged itself where it wanted to stay and it took three attempts to finally manage to push it upwards and off, like twisting a coil that had been tightened far too many times. He had not taken into account that he may grow over the years as he had continued to wear it and now, as it finally clattered onto the counter top, he felt some sadness over the loss. It was just a thing. He told himself that every day, but that did not mean it was any less awkward to run into someone still considered your husband wearing your wedding ring. His breath was short, relief tainting his features.

It was then that he looked again.

“Shit,” his gaze now dropped to the empty space but that was not what was attracting his attention. Where his wedding band had once sat was now pale and white. The African sun had done a lot to taint his skin, painting it in tan that made him look healthy, healing wounds but it simply could not penetrate sterling silver. There, on his finger, remained the reminder of a marriage that had meant nothing. Forever markered by something that had been a joke, a joke that had became horribly relevant to the truth. A union that had became nothing but a sham because a joke was not funny when there was nobody to laugh with. A joke was not funny when you only cried over it. It almost made him angry. He stared at with tear filled eyes, rage swelling but not exploding, scars of old numbers on his arms starting to feel as if they were going to tear from the tension that he had not noticed fill his body and for the first time, he realised he was not sad, he was not heart broken not anymore. He was just angry. Why did Justin get to escape this when he never would? Why did Justin get to forget when he never could? Why did Justin get to walk away from this when he never should?

[justjustinmoore]

but if you loved me why'd you leave me? take my body take my body all I want is, and all I need is to find somebody. i'll find somebody like you.

It had been two years. Two years since a fire burned up a building of their school, two years since Justin’s wounds healed. Two years and he still had scars, but not just physical ones. Two years since Tyson King told him that he loved him. Two years since their last kiss. Two years since Justin fucked it all up. Two years, Two way too long, way too hard, way too many fucking years.

You’d think that Justin would’ve been long gone from Whittemore. After all, everything there sucked. The school he graduated from, some of the people that he’d graduated with, his parents, and the fact that he was utterly and miserably alone. Scratch that, he wasn’t truly alone. Sure, Andy hung around and the occasional friend from school. And his newest girlfriend, of course. But bitter as he could be, Justin would tell anyone, no matter who they were, that he was alone. It did not appear this way as he strode down the street with a beautiful girl, hand in hand. It didn’t matter that inside she was really wondering why he hadn’t asked her to move into his apartment yet. It mattered that they looked good together.

For Justin, it seemed like relationships never made it further than just sleeping together and looking good in front of others. He’d never admit this, but he knew it deep down.

For two years, Justin continued to answer the same questions. What happened to TJ? Why did he leave? Do you still talk to him? Don’t you miss him?

I don’t know. Because of me. I don’t know. No. More than anything. No.

It could’ve been another normal day. Justin could’ve spent a little more time pretending to love a girl that would one day be irrelevant to him again. Maybe it was fate that stepped in, or maybe it was just reality finally telling Justin he needed to get a fucking grip. Whatever it was, it hit Justin like a ton of bricks. Because he was back. Tyson King stood across from him on the street. Tanned, grinning, beautiful. He looked like the sun itself. He looked happy.

An incredible jealousy passed through Justin. How did Tyson get to be so happy? Because he knows how to move on, dumbass. Why was Justin so miserable? Because you couldn’t just admit your feelings like a normal person would.

Justin stopped. He stared. Even when Tyson disappeared into a storefront, Justin stood and watched. And the beauty beside him looked at him incredulously, like he’d lost his damn mind. And maybe he had. Maybe he was going crazy, maybe he hadn’t seen Tyson at all. But he had, he knew he had. His heart felt like it was on fire.

“I thought I saw someone I knew, but I didn’t.” Justin explained to the girl by his side.

And though it killed him, he continued walking.

[tjfuckingking]

Somewhere Only We Know || Tustin

He felt the phones in his hand weighing heavier than it should have, an icy gulp as he stared out to the water that he had known his entire life. Memories flickered in his mind of two little boys skimming stones against that very same water who had grown into men, or at least close, memories filled with scraped knees and goofy smiles, awe struck eyes. His best friend. The boy that he had met in class, building a stupid toy, the person who had became a part of his world that he had never been able to rewrite. The person who had stood by him through so much, the only one who had been able to save him from his own darkness, hold him when he cried. The person who had reminded him that he would always belong right there beside him. He didn’t know, if Justin was aware, that the love that had built within his every cell was for more than just the friend he had raised, he didn’t know if he felt the same way, if he ever could, beause Tyson King had never suggested that perhaps there was more beneath all of this than just the fact they were friends and that was why, tonight, he was sure, would be a night that changed everything, a night that set the records straight. For better or for worse.

As he heard familiar footsteps behind him, his eyes flickered away from the dimming water of the river, his eyes dark and stormy, something unsettled behind them as he stood, but he didn’t hesitate, he knew that hesitation would only make it more impossible to do what he had to, to take the greatest risk of all, the risk of trading one love that had always existed for a greater one that may never be returned, “I remember, when I was a kid, I used to read Ella’s magazines, and there were always people asking-- what do you do if you fall in love with your best friend?” a strange crooked half smile rested on his lips as he stepped towards Justin, “And most of them said tell them, talk it through, figure it out but--” and that was when he did it, his hands moving the boy towards him by the collar, his lips pressing against Justin’s, not like all the times before, not like every kiss they had shared clumsily and playfully in the past, this one was real. This one held emotion, love, desire, a different world entirely, a hopefulness in the pressure of his lips. His eyes shut tightly and he prayed for the best as he pulled away, breathing out, not sure where to look, “But you know me, I’ve never really listened to anyone.”

[justjustinmoore]

                                        he’s a monster

                                                 and i

                                                        am nothing

                               too much of nothing to help him.

                                   they say that drunk words

                                         are sober thoughts,

                            but what about the words spoken

                                        once you go crazy?

                                                          are they sane thoughts as well?

[justjustinmoore]

I clung to your hands so that something human might exist in the chaos.

[irrelevancerps-blog]

✌

im so so shitty with these im glad im friendless asied form u and alex tbh(but not rlly bc its quite sad)!1!1! anywaaaaay i honestly have no idea how long weve been in eachother lives but i feel like its been at least like a year?? maybe 2 idk, its beenn a short minute thats all i care about; bc u put up wuth me even tho im a piece of trash!!! i love u so much, ur the best best friend anyyone in the entire world could have and i just wanna hug u and i cant wait to come to vegas and see u, EEEEEEK(i rlly made that noise just now, im js). WE R TEH DYNAMIC DUO and nobody can compete, haha, i love you to the ends of the galaxy and back, i hope u know that. and thnx for putting up with me as long, and as constant, as u have.

[irrelevancerps-blog]

there is noone on this earth i love more than i love paco ~heart eyes emoji~