I’ve started trying to figure out if something that happened to me (which i used to dismiss as only minor violence) could have actually seriously injured me if i hadn’t managed to keep standing, or if any number of other things had gone differently. (I started realizing this after i read a comic in which a character /died/ from something very similar, although i know that would have been very unlikely.)
On the one hand, maybe i’ll feel less stupid for how i reacted (even at the time) to it. (it was kind of a ‘shit i really don’t have any control here and people can do whatever they want to me and there’s nothing i can do to stop them while i’m living here’ moment. It’s been seeming likely, though i can’t actually remember what i was trying to do, that i had turned to go towards the door out of the house when this happened. Based on where i was standing.)
On the other hand, i would like to never think about this again, because i /can’t actually know/ what would have happened if [x,y,z] had gone differently. and more importantly, it no longer matters. Which is why it’s stupid that i just triggered the hell out of myself trying to figure things out with research/etc.