#brainsblogging

[makotokino]

do you ever have that trauma moment where you wonder like. was i supposed to be a different person before someone shattered my mental state and i had to reform it with loose observations of what humans are?

[makotokino]

I love bipolar disorder and listening to songs i usually love that make me bawl my eyes out because i cry 100% more when manic than I do when depressive

[makotokino]

do u ever remember how many years of ur life u wasted on manipulative fuckheads who used ur trauma-induced need for affection against you to keep u on a chain for countless years and just get really bitter

[makotokino]

realizing ur manic rn like oh this is why i've made every terrible decision possible in the past 48 hours

[autisticfranziska-archive]

went thru that list and copy/pasted the things that apply to me ffr

Eccentric personality; may be reflected in appearance

Often prefers the company of animals but not always due to sensory issues.

Is youthful for their age, in looks, dress, behaviour, and tastes

Usually a little more expressive in face and gesture than some other Autistic people

May have androgynous traits. Thinks of themself as half-male/half female

May not have a strong sense of identity, and can be very chameleon-like, especially before diagnosis

Enjoys reading and films as a retreat, often scifi, fantasy, children’s, can have favourites which are a refuge

Usually happiest at home or in other controlled environment.

May have been diagnosed as Autistic when young, or may have been thought of as gifted, shy, sensitive, etc. May also have had obvious or severe learning deficits

Often musical, artistic

May have a savant skill or strong talent(s)

May have a strong interest in computers, games, science, graphic design, inventing, things of a technological and visual nature. More verbal thinkers may gravitate to writing, languages, cultural studies, psychology

May have been a self-taught reader, been hyperlexic as a child, and will possess a wide variety of other self-taught skills as well

Can be very passionate about a course of study or job, and then change direction or go completely cold on it very quickly

Will often have trouble holding onto a job and may find employment daunting

Highly intelligent, yet sometimes can be slow to comprehend due to sensory and cognitive processing issues

Will not do well with verbal instruction - needs to write down or draw diagram

Obsessions (passions / special interests) are not necessarily unusual

Anxiety and fear are predominant emotions

More open to talk about feelings and emotional issues than people with typical autism

Strong sensory issues - sounds, sights, smells, touch, and prone to overload. (May not have taste/food texture issues.)

Moody and prone to bouts of depression. May have been diagnosed with mood disorders such as Bipolar Disorder, while the autism diagnosis was missed (note from typist: this doesn’t mean the other diagnoses are necessarily incorrect; just that they were comorbid with something that went undetected)

Probably given several different prescriptions to treat symptoms. Will be very sensitive to medications and anything else they put in their body so may have had adverse reactions

9 out of 10 have mild to severe gastro-intestinal issues (e.g. ulcers, acid reflux, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and so on) (nothing diagnosed but i dont have great bowels >_>;)

Stims to soothe when sad or agitated; rocking, face-rubbing, humming, finger flicking, leg bouncing, finger or foot tapping, etc

Similarly physical when happy - hand-flapping, clapping, singing, jumping, running around, dancing, bouncing (esp. singing, bouncing)

Prone to temper or crying meltdowns, even in public; sometimes over seemingly small things due to sensory or emotional overload

Hates injustice and hates to be misunderstood; this can incite anger and rage

Prone to mutism when stressed or upset, especially after a meltdown. Less likely to stutter than some other Autistic people but may have a raspy voice, monotone at times, when stressed or sad

Is very outspoken at times, may get very fired up when talking about passions / special interests / obsessions 

Like people with typical autism, will shut down in social situations once overloaded, but is generally better at socialising in small doses. May even give the appearance of being skilled, but it is a “performance” (bolding mine)

Doesn’t go out much. Will prefer to go out with partner only or children if they have them (note from typist: I find I have a short list of “safe people” who I prefer to go out with, and I will refuse to go out if none of those people are available)

Will not have many close friends, and will not conform to gender stereotypical activities with friends, or have get-togethers to “hang out” with friends

May or may not want to have a relationship. If they are interested in a relationship, they probably take it very seriously, but may choose to remain celibate or alone

Due to sensory issues, will either really enjoy sex or strongly dislike it