#bran thoughts

[g00py-g00p3r]

Ooooh nooooo my BONER is so large right now. Like, it hurts how absolutely long and girthy my BONER is at the moment. It's going to be a tough job to fap my enormous BONER.

[branovices]

New game: Talk to your cat as though you are Dracula, Lord of Darkness.

“Are you hungry, my pet? Then feed.. hehaha... FEEEED!” 

*puts down bowl of wet food*

[branovices]

Things I call my cat:

Harker (his name)

Harkersaurus

Harkersnarker

Snarkers / Snarks

Snarkerdoodle 

Furry Shrimp 

Fat-shrimp

Furbit (fur butt)

Mipur Bouy (my poor boy)

Walnut Brain / Walnut

Wedgehead

Goofus 

Snoofus 

Snarfer

[branovices]

Narrator: “Watch as the Incan stonemason shapes and fits each piece so perfectly that one cannot even wedge a credit card between them.” 

Me: *fitting my groceries into the freezer*

[branovices]

Thinking about Dwemer and John Worrell Keely. Keely supposedly invented an engine for airships powered by vibrations in the ether, controlled by musical tones... He claimed to create vapors more powerful than steam, also created by manipulating the ether. All this should sound familiar to anyone familiar with Dwemer tech explanations.

Keely was a charlatan, obviously, but I wonder if some of the Dwemer tech in TES lore was based on his ideas.

[branovices]

Whenever I see a low rating at a restaurant with otherwise good ratings and the main reason is “poor customer service,” I ignore it and automatically assume that person is an asshole.

[branovices]

Elder Scrolls Headcanon lore: After the Oblivion Crisis, the people of Kvatch coped with the destruction of their mighty city by complaining a lot and developed a culture of cheerful pessimism. This attitude from Kvatch became well known. By the Time of Elder Scrolls V over 200 years later, complaining became known “kvatching” throughout Tamriel.

[g00py-g00p3r]

On my knees for them (not to give them head, they're just short)