a/n: okay this isn’t my best work but I really wanted to write something, so give me a little more time and it will improve! also the chapters will get longer (this one is not very long - sorry)!!
warnings: none, except god-awful writing :,)
“Yesterday, my life was in ruins...” y/n sang quietly to herself as she parked her car in front of the pub that her brother was going to be performing at that night with his band. After making her way to the back, she found her brother sitting with who she could only assume were his bandmates.
Brian kissed y/n on the cheek and said, “These are the boys! Right here,” he pointed to the one with long brown hair, “is our new bassist, John Deacon.”
“Darling, I’m Freddie!” the one with the unusual teeth said. “I do most of the singing since your brother over here sounds like a dying animal,” Freddie joked, earning a snicker from the other boys and an eye roll from Brian.
The drummer, who y/n had already met a few times before at previous concerts, simply smirked at her and said, “I hope you remember me, love. I know I remember you...” he eyed her up and down, winked, then said, “it’s hard to forget a pretty face like that.”
Brian just swat the back of his head and scolded him because apparently “little sisters were off limits”. Roger just kept smiling.
“So he does this a lot?” Freddie asked. “The flirting?”
“Well I’ve only met him a few times but I’ve heard stories about how outrageous he can be with girls, especially after concerts - he thinks he’s a real rock star already,” y/n laughed. She turned to Brian, who had finished lecturing his friend and said, “I’m going to go out and get my spot in the crowd, but good luck boys!”
The show was amazing. They did a new song called “Keep Yourself Alive”, and y/n absolutely loved it. Freddie lit up the room and the crowd ate it up. Brian was amazing as always, and the new bassist, John impressed y/n. But she kept playing this little game with Roger. He would wink at her and she would find a way to flirt back, whether it was dancing or winking right back at the blond drummer. Apparently Brian had noticed and wasn’t a big fan.
“What was that?” He asked her. “With you and Rog?”
Y/n laughed lightly, “Bri, don’t worry about it, it’s shameless flirting and I see you do it all the time with girls after gigs.”
Brian responded, “But this is different, y/n/n, he’s a player.”
She raised an eyebrow and y/n said, “I told you. I doesn’t mean anything.”
The cycle between Roger and y/n continued show after show, and she would always visit him after seeing her brother. Now, sometimes she would ride around town in his car with him and sometimes he would come over. They were still flirting, but now it had become physical: small kisses on the cheek, hands on each other’s thigh, and it seemed y/n was always playing with Roger’s hair (she was the only one he let touch it). They had become best friends, and the two were having a hard time convincing themselves - and Brian - that that’s all that it was.
One night it became particularly hard to keep convinced that the two were just friends. The band, now called Queen, came over for drinks after a show, and y/n had decided to join them. She was sitting in between Rog and Mary, Freddie’s girlfriend, and it seemed that she was progressively scooting closer to Roger.
While the others were seemingly occupied with a story Deaky was telling, y/n leaned up to whisper in Rog’s ear, “You were wonderful tonight, Rog. As always.”
He gave a cheeky grin and y/n felt his hot breath in her ear as he spoke, giving her goosebumps. “Only because I know you’re out there, love.”
She chuckled softly and turned back to him, smiling wide, the alcohol clearly getting to her as she made an awful joke, “Bang me like you bang your drums.”
He started cracking up, drawing the attention of the others in the room. They questioned what was so funny, but he wouldn’t repeat y/n’s awful attempt at a drum joke. After everyone gave up on trying to get him to crack and went back to focusing on John’s story, he pressed a kiss to y/n’s jaw, right under her ear, not caring if Brian saw, then whispered one last thing: “If I can get you alone sometime, doll, then maybe I will.”
a/n: okay! there’s part one! let me know what you think of it and if I should continue!
a/n: sorry this took FOREVER! hope it was worth it.
warnings: a little language, references to sex, miscarriage.
previous parts:
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8
You woke up to Roger mumbling softly in his sleep, “Don’t you hear me...calling you...” You smiled softly and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, then attempted to slip out of bed, careful not to wake him up, but he pulled you back on top of him. “Mmm,” he hummed. “Stay with me.” Roger knew what he was doing. He wanted you to stay in bed all day, and whether he wanted to just cuddle or if he wanted more was unbeknownst to you.
But ever since the miscarriage you hadn’t been too physical with each other. “Rog,” you warned. He was trying to get you to miss work, but now that you had graduated and started a job as a real nurse, you couldn’t be late.
“Come on, doll, we don’t ever get time anymore,” he protested. And he was right. If you weren’t sleeping or working, you were in the nursery sulking, even though he hated you being in there (he saw what it did to you).
If you were feeling alright, then typically he wasn’t. It was a vicious cycle of playing babysitter for each other; you made sure that the other was eating, sleeping, and showering when they were too sad to want to do anything
You thought about staying, but got out of bed and made your way into the bathroom to get a quick shower before work.
You stripped as the room filled with steam, then got in when the temperature was right. A few moments later, you heard the curtain open, and Roger stepped in. “I don’t have time to-” you started.
He cupped your face, “Can’t I just take a morning shower with the love of my life?”
You blushed, and then pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “No funny business,” you said, and he saluted, mocking your serious tone. You turned away from him to grab the shampoo, and you felt him slap your ass. “Rog!” You yelped and turned back around to face him.
He was looking around with a cheeky grin plastered on his face, as if you were talking to someone else. “Who, me?” He asked in faux confusion. You giggled and playfully swatted his chest.
Roger helped you wash your hair, and when he wasn’t doing that, he had his arms around your waist and was whispering sweet nothings into your ear. “I love you...you’re so beautiful, love...you’re my world...I love you so much y/n...” he mumbled into your ear, your back pressed against his chest. This was one of the first truly intimate moments you two had shared since returning from the hospital. You were hardly sharing deep kisses, and when you slept you rarely even faced each other. Neither of you were mad at the other, it’s just that you were both hurting.
Roger wanted to see the old you. He missed your smile, your laugh, and you cracking dirty jokes with him no matter who else was around. He wanted to hold you, but not just when you were crying. He wanted to feel you, not just your presence from the other room. Roger missed you.
Your mind was racing a mile a minute too. You wanted to be happy with him again, but it was so hard. You had always said that Roger had your entire heart, but now there was a hole that was supposed to be reserved for Oliver. You reassured yourself that Roger would be there for you the whole time, just like he always was. You felt awful that you hadn’t been communicating with him a lot recently, but you just didn’t know how. The only times you really expressed emotions anymore was when you sobbed into his chest, crying about your baby. You also felt guilty, because you didn’t want to make it all about you. Roger had lost a child too, but here he was trying to put on a smile just to make you feel a little better.
You turned around so you were facing him, but kept your vision locked on his chest, unable to look him in the eye. “I’m sorry for not talking to you,” you said quietly. You couldn’t imagine how lost he must be feeling. Up until about two weeks, you had hardly uttered a word, except for a few ‘I love you’s’ before work and bed.
He sighed. “You don’t have to apologize y/n. It’s going to be hard, but I know we can get through it together, okay?” You nodded and Rog pulled you to his chest, swaying ever so slightly. You wrapped your arms around his waist as he continued, “But please, baby girl, don’t shut me out. I’m here for you, yeah? You know I’d drop everything in an instant if you needed me. It’s always you.”
He pulled away from the embrace to lift your chin up, so you were looking in his eyes. “I love you,” you whispered. And he pulled you in for a kiss.
“I love you too, but I’m afraid I’ve made you late again, Miss May,” he said, tucking a strand of wet hair behind your ear.
Your eyes widened as you realized how much time had passed since you got in the shower; you had been so caught up in your thoughts to notice earlier. You hurried out of the shower to get dressed and dry your hair, and Roger had even made you a coffee and grabbed a muffin for you. “But it was worth it, right? You got to see me, naked, in the shower,” he said with a smirk as he handed you your keys.
“You think I’d rather take a hot shower with you than be on time to work?” You joked. “Uh huh, in your dreams, Taylor,” you said with a smile, then kissed him on the cheek, and you were on your way.
+++
Work was dreadful, as always. You were currently working on the pediatric floor, which didn’t make your day any easier, but thankfully the head nurse on your floor knew about your situation and would let you take a break if she noticed you weren’t doing too well.
Right now was one of those times. You were in a supply room, wiping a few stray tears off of your face and trying to focus yourself enough to get back out to work. You took a deep breath, redid your ponytail, and opened the door, only to hear a familiar voice.
“Yes, that is me,” you heard the person say, and you turned to see Roger standing down at the end of the hall, talking to one of your coworkers. She put a hand on his arm, but he quickly brushed it off and said in an impatient voice, “Actually, I was looking for my girlfriend, y/n. Would you-?”
He caught sight of you walking towards him and smiled happily. He greeted you with a quick kiss and pulled a bouquet of sunflowers and red roses from behind his back.
You gasped and took the flowers. “Rog...you really didn’t have to,” you said, but you couldn’t hide the big grin on your face.
“Of course I did! I’m taking you out to lunch!” He took your hand and led you to the nurses station.
“Press the call button in your room if you need assist-” Susan, the head nurse started in a monotone voice, still looking down at the chart in her hand. “Oh, y/n...and Roger Taylor?” she asked, blushing slightly (something that happened a lot when people saw Roger). A few of the other nurses’ ears perked up when they heard Rog’s name.
“Ah, wonderful, you know me!” He said with a fake smile plastered on his face. “So I don’t have to explain the whole...dentist turned rockstar thing!”
Susan laughed, even though it was an awful joke. You knew what he was doing now. He was trying to use his status as Queen’s drummer to get what he wanted. And you knew exactly how to play along.
He continued, “Well you know I’m very busy with the band, and y/n here is actually helping a lot right now with our new album! There’s a big meeting at the record company today,” he lied through his teeth. “so would you mind if I borrowed her for the day?”
Susan looked at you, then Roger. You spoke up, a sweet smile on your face. “The boys are just under so much stress right now, trying to get out another album. And I want to do everything I can to make sure they aren’t worried about meetings, but much rather focused on talking to fans like yourself. I’m going today with them to answer any questions that they don’t want to.”
You saw him wink at her out of the corner of your eye, and you were going to tease him for it later, but for now, it was definitely helping your case.
Susan looked awestruck as she said, “Yes, yes, of course...you can even have tomorrow off if you need it too, y/n. I wouldn’t want to keep Queen waiting.”
You thanked her, then headed towards the lift, still holding Roger’s hand. As soon as you got on and the doors closed, you started laughing. “Are you kidding me? Dentist turned rockstar? Says the man who doesn’t let anyone call him a dentist!” You mimicked him.
He grinned cheekily at you, then said, “That was better than ‘much rather focused on talking to fans like yourself’’! You don’t even talk like that!”
“Oh yeah...what about that wink I saw?” you nudged him. “Are you gonna leave me for Susan? You might have to settle for grandpa instead of dad in that case!” You laughed, then realized what you said.
“Y/n/n...”
“No, Rog, it’s okay. You said we’re going to get through it together. And we are. We’re going to have kids one day,” you said, smiling as the doors opened to the main floor of the hospital.
You walked off, then turned back around to see Roger not moving. “Are you coming or what? I don’t even know where we’re going!” you said, watching him stare back at you with an unfamiliar expression on his face. It almost looked like he was relieved.
Roger walked towards you and snaked an arm around your waist. You looked up at him and he looked back with a toothy grin. “It’s so nice to hear you say that out loud,” he said softly, then kissed your forehead and led you out to his car.
+++
He was bringing you to the studio, where the boys really were recording another album, A Day At The Races. Brian had told the other boys at another meeting about the miscarriage, and Roger was going to first, but couldn’t finish his sentence without breaking down, he had told you later.
Roger was the last to arrive to the meeting that day, something unusual for him, but he had stayed at home late to make sure you had eaten your food instead of just throwing it out because you ‘didn’t feel well enough’.
He sulked into the studio, lots of thoughts running through his mind. Of course he was distraught about Oliver, but he was worried about you the most. You could make more babies, but he didn’t know what he was going to do if he lost you too. When he opened the door, Freddie had greeted him with a hug, much to Brian’s dismay (he knew why Roger had called the meeting and what he was about to tell the other boys).
Roger had pushed Fred away and sat down on the couch, tears still in his eyes from the car ride.
“Roger...what is it? Come on, you and y/n get into a fight?” Fred asked jokingly. You and Roger hardly ever really fought, but mostly bickered like an old married couple.
Brian shot him a death glare.
“Y/n and I...um...we...” his voice broke and tears started rolling down his face. “We...” He looked up from his lap and up at Brian.
“It’s alright Rog, I’ve got it,” your brother had said in a gentle voice. “About a week ago, y/n and Rog had to go to the hospital in the middle of the night, and they...they found out that they lost the baby.”
John and Freddie turned to Roger, but he was staring blankly at the wall. “I just, I don’t know what I did wrong,” he said, almost sobbing.
Deaky had spoke up, “No, Roger. You can’t blame this on yourself. It’s nobody’s fault.”
“You weren’t there! She was screaming in pain, and, and throwing up because of the pain too! Then they took him out of her, and she got to hold him...and I saw her heart shatter into a million pieces! She’s never going to be the same again!” He said, his eyes bloodshot. “It might not have been my fault!” He stood up and started pacing. “But...but all I could do was watch! I watched as she laid in bed in agony days after that, refusing to eat. She doesn’t even look at me anymore.”
He stopped, then turned towards the boys again. “You know what she told me? She said that she was sorry and that she should have done better...she thinks that she did this...”
Freddie had wrapped Rog in a hug, and the blonde had stopped yelling and was now crying into his friend’s chest.
Roger hadn’t told you all of that, of course. “Ready, y/n?” he asked before you two walked into the booth.
You squeezed his hand, nodded, and stepped inside, drawing the attention of the others.
“Y/n! Come in, darling! So nice to see you again!” Fred said as he hugged you.
You chuckled and hugged him back. “Hi, Fred!”
John stood up from where he was sitting with Veronica, who had her hand on her ever-growing belly. You looked at John, then Ronnie, then back at the bassist. You put a smile on your face, and Roger noticed your grip on his hand had tightened.
“Deaky! How are you?” Rog said, breaking the small silence.
“We’re great! Bri’s in there getting ready to do the solo for ‘Somebody to Love’, then you can get in there and do your part for ‘Drowse’, if you want,” John suggested.
You looked into the box and Bri waved at you.
While he recorded, you sat on the couch, Rog in between you and Ronnie. He saw the look you gave her earlier and was afraid you were going to rip her hair out if she said one thing about her kids. You two made small talk about your work and Rog had his hand on your thigh to comfort you.
Then it was his turn to go in the box, and him and Bri traded spots. You chatted with your brother about the album, and even though you had your brother next to you, it was better when Rog was there.
You tried to steady yourself by taking a few deep breaths, but it was too much when Ronnie said, “Robert misses you y/n! He keeps asking when you’re going to babysit again.”
It shouldn’t have bothered you, but it did. You swallowed and stood up. “I’m going to the bathroom.”
“Y/n...” Brian said. He knew Veronica didn’t mean anything by it, but babysitting was your and Roger’s thing to do together, and it made you feel like you already had a kid.
Roger saw you leave mid-drum solo and he stopped playing. He rushed out of the box and asked, “What happened?” No one answered, so he followed you down the hall and into the women’s bathroom, where you were standing in front of a mirror.
You turned around to face him, “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I freaked out.”
He held your face in his hands and wiped the few tears off of your face. “It’s alright, you don’t have to apologize love.”
Back in the booth, Veronica said dumfounded, “I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“I know, it’s just going to be hard for her at first I think,” Bri said softly. “I’ll go see where her and Rog are.” Bri left the room and roamed around the studio, followed by the other boys (against his will) until he heard your voice in the bathroom. He motioned for the others to be quiet as they listened.
“It’s just, Ronnie and John are gonna have two perfectly healthy babies, and we’re struggling to even have one!”
Roger sat you down on the counter and brushed your hair away from your face. “It’s gonna happen for us, y/n. It will. We can try again, if you want.”
Outside, Bri’s eyes went wide.
You tilted your head up to lock eyes with Roger.
“I mean, we don’t have to, if you don’t want...and I know we said we were going to wait until we got married for another baby, but if you-” he rambled.
You cut him off by kissing him, and when you pulled away, he was a bright shade of red.
“We can try again, Roggie.”
He scratched the back of his head, smiling, as you hopped down from the counter. “I just want a family with you, y/n. And we can try for however long it takes, I promise.”
You stuck out your pinkie and he shook it with his. “You think we can get of here to go get a head start?” you asked with a smirk, and Rog snickered as he put his arm around you.
“We can most definitely try, baby.”
Bri was standing there with crossed arms as you opened the door. “You promised you’d wait until you had a ring-”
You and Rog kept smiling as you jokingly poked you brother’s chest. “’Scuse me, Bri.”
“But you said you’re going to try for another baby!”
You and Rog looked at each other and shook your heads. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, mate,” the drummer said.
“Roger...” Bri warned.
“Hmm?” He asked in a confused tone as him and you stepped around Brian.
“I don’t see a ring on her finger!”
You giggled as Roger picked you up bridal style. “Sorry, Bri!” You said as you waved goodbye.
“Where do you think you’re going?” your brother asked.
“I’m going to put a baby in your sister!” Rog said, and Bri stood there grumbling as Fred and John tried to get him back in the booth.
+++
Four hours later, and you and Roger were tangled up on the bed, exhausted.
You traced his jawline gently as you looked at him with soft eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you too, y/n. More than you’ll ever know.”
You kissed his cheek and hopped up from the bed, wrapping a blanket around you. You walked over to your dresser, where your record player and records were displayed.
Roger sat up and watched as you put a Beatles record on and set it to the song “Til There Was You’.
There were bells on a hill. But I never heard them ringing, no I never heard them at all, til there was you.
You hummed to the song as you pulled out one of Rog’s t-shirts from the top drawer and put it on.
“You’re beautiful.”
You turned around and blushed, then held out your hand to Roger. “Come dance with me.”
He got out of bed and put his boxers on, then embraced you. He sang along to the words quietly. “There was love all around, but I never heard it singing. No I never heard them at all, til there was you.”
He held you as you danced for the remainder of the song. Your head rested on his chest and you listened to his heartbeat.
After the song, you let the record continue playing and led Roger into the kitchen. He watched, confused, until he realized what you were doing. When he saw you open the liquor cabinet, he opened a drawer and pulled out the corkscrew.
One of your favorite things to do with Roger was drink. Just you two together at home, dancing around the house and jumping on the bed. And it always made your night.
Roger opened the bottle of wine and took a swig, then passed it to you.
An hour later, and you and Rog had already drank a full bottle together. ‘Twist and Shout’ was playing and you were jumping around the kitchen. Roger was using spatulas as drum sticks.
“Twist and shout!” You sang into the whisk, which you were using as your microphone.
“You know you twist so good!” Roger sang, smirking at you.
“You know you twist so fine!” You sang, pointing at him and winking.
“Come on and twist a little closer, yeah!” You shouted as you jumped around, then shrieked as you felt Roger pick you up.
“And show the world that you’re mine!” He said, laughing.
“Roger!” You said playfully as he carried you into the bedroom. “Bring the wine!”
He snickered and turned back around to grab the second bottle. In your room, he sat it down on the nightstand and put you down on the bed, then disappeared out of your room.
You took a few more swigs as you waited for him. When he came back in the room, he was wearing his iconic colorful wig. He posed and motioned to his hair. “You like it?”
You stood up on the bed, stumbling and laughing. “Yes! You’re very pretty Rog!”
As the rest of the record played out, Roger joined you on the bed, laughing.
+++
Freddie and Deaky finally complied and let Brian storm over to your house (only accompanied by them) to try to talk you and Roger out of any more baby making, regardless of the fact that it was too late.
He stomped up to the door to your flat and didn’t even hesitate to walk straight in, followed by the others.
Brian expected to see you curled up on Roger on the couch or on the bed, but instead he heard you squeal from the corner of the room when he walked in.
“Brian!” you giggled. You were still wearing Rog’s t-shirt, but now you were also wearing the wig, and you were sitting on Roger’s lap behind the drum kit, trying to play.
Roger’s chin was resting on your shoulder and his arms were wrapped around your waist as he greeted your brother. “Hello Bri!” he said cheerily and completely shitfaced.
“I need to talk to you two,” Brian uttered.
You motioned to the couch. “Well go ahead and sit down! We’ll talk!”
He remained standing as he said, “You guys can’t try again for another baby. You’re not ready.”
“Brian,” Freddie warned.
“Oh, yes we are,” Roger said, and you nodded.
“Brian, the miscarriage was almost five months ago! You should be happy. Me and Rog are now! And we’re learning how to feel better and, and he makes me happier. And he’s helping me be better,” you said, slurring your words.
Brian mumbled something to himself that no one else could hear, and then said softly to you, “I don’t want to see you go through the same thing that happened with Oliver. I can’t see you shut down for months at a time, y/n, and I just want what’s best for you.”
You smiled as you stumbled out from behind the drums while tossing the wig to the ground and lazily hugged your brother. He could smell the alcohol on you. “Christ, how much did you two drink?”
“Enough,” Roger said with a smirk as he snaked his arm around your waist and pulled you back from Brian. “Bri, I’m gonna marry her. We’re gonna have lots of babies. We just don’t want to wait any longer, yeah?”
Brian pursed his lips.
“Aw, come on,” you pouted. “You’ll be an uncle! It’s gonna work out, I promise.”
He looked down as you stuck out your pinkie.
“Hey! That’s our thing!” Roger complained.
Brian shook his pinkie with yours and ruffled your hair. “Hey!” you said as you swatted his hand away.
You turned to Fred and John, who had taken a seat on the couch, exasperated from trying to calm your brother down. “Would you guys like to stay for dinner?”
“I think if either of you tried to cook right now, this building would end up in flames,” Freddie teased.
“Come on, don’t be a bore!”
“How about this: you and Roger sober up while we cook for you?” John suggested.
You thanked him on your way to the bedroom to get dressed, Roger trailing closely behind. He slapped your ass, much to the horrification of Brian, before cheekily saying, “I know the perfect way to do that...”
“Roger! Not right now!” you scolded.
“Oh, you can be quiet.”
“Taylor!” Brian shouted from the kitchen, leaving you and the drummer a giggling mess.
a/n: do I like this? idk. some parts of it yes, and some parts no. I've just been super stressed with school lately, but now I've developed a schedule for writing so there should hopefully be one or two parts out each week! hope you’re buckled in because this is a long story.
tag list: (let me know if I accidentally forgot you!)
psa: I would like to thank all you fools who have stuck around through my non-edited chapters, the chapters that literally take me a month to write, and the chapters that I don’t feel confident in. thank you for being patient with me and supporting me. you guys are why I keep doing this. I love you all! :)) let me know what you think of this part!
summary: reader is pregnant! also as a heads up, veronica is john’s wife and their first kid is robert.
I’m going to start linking the previous chapters so you don’t have to dig through my blog but I didn’t have time tonight. I’ll do it tomorrow after school. Hope you enjoy!!
previous parts:
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6
+++
“No Deacon! I don’t want the lyrics ‘happy at home’ on a rock album!” You heard Roger practically shouting into the phone as you walked inside his flat after a class. He held up a finger as to silence you, since this was a ‘very important phone call’, he had told you later. “Of course I’m happy with y/n at home but there’s more ways to sing about it!” He paused, listening to his friend. “No! ‘I’m in Love With my Car’ is not about her! I told you, it’s a metaphor! I do not fuck my-”
You grabbed the phone out of his hand and said, “Sorry about him, Deaks. You know how sensitive he is about that song,” and Roger’s jaw dropped.
In the background, he could be heard mumbling about how no one appreciated that song enough. “So is it okay if we’re at Rog’s when we babysit today? Brian didn’t handle the sight of us with a kid too well,” you said, and it was true. The first weekend after the tour, you and Roger took Robert to yours and Brian’s apartment, but Brian came home from a date early, while you all were baking cookies, and he had been pissed that you brought Robert over.
“Yes you’ve done it before, but now you’re bringing Roger?” Brian had asked with a disgusted tone.
“Yeah, sounds good, I wouldn’t want you getting in trouble. So V and I are gonna drop him off in a bit, then we’ll see you at your apartment tonight for that dinner Brian insisted on having? You can just give Robbie back to us then,” John said.
“John, that dinner isn’t until next week, on the 26th.”
“Look at your calendar. Today is the 26th.”
You glanced over at the fridge, where Roger kept his calendar, that had dates of your exams, tests, and assignments written on it so that he could make sure to help you whenever you needed the assistance. You saw red x’s on each of the days, leading up until today, which was really Thursday the 26th. But that meant...
No...your period was a week late.
You paused and John asked if you were still there. “Yes, uh, yeah...we’ll see you in a bit to get Rob.”
You contemplating hiding your suspicions from Roger for a while, but you know that would hurt him, and most likely you as well, so you decided that you should be honest with him.
“Roger?” You called, and he came downstairs from his bedroom, kissing your cheek when he reached you. “We need to talk.”
This sent him into a tizzy. “Love, did I do something? Is it Brian? School?”
You gave him a sad smile and said quietly, “Roger, please just listen. This is my fault, and it’s okay if you yell at me, I won’t be upset. You have every right to be mad-”
He cut you off by scooping you up and sitting you down on the counter. “Hey, hey, you’re scaring me. What's wrong?” You looked down at the counter. “Come on, baby girl,” he said, sticking out his pinkie, “I won’t get mad.”
You shook his pinkie with your own, and then he interlaced your hand with his, trying to calm you down. “I think I’m pregnant,” you whispered.
After a moment of no movement, he tilted your chin up so you would be looking at his eyes. Roger said with a small smile on his face, “That’s what you were worried about?”
You nodded, confused at to why he hadn’t blown up at you yet.
Roger pushed your hair back behind your ear. “Doll, that’s not your fault. You know it takes two to tango,” he said smirking, and you giggled. “I already knew you were going to have my kids, and this is just...speeding up the process a little bit.”
You let out a sigh of relief and wrapped your arms around his neck. “I thought you were going to leave me,” you said, mumbling into his neck.
He rubbed your back and whispered, “Never.”
You pulled away, your hands shaking, so Rog grabbed them and pressed them to his cheeks, like always. You sniffled and asked, “What about Brian?”
“Let’s get a test and figure out for sure, then we can deal with him. Surely he’s going to be excited to be an uncle, right?” Roger said, trying to convince the both of you. Then you heard the doorbell ring, and you hopped off of the counter, rushing to the door. You opened it and Roger immediately heard you laughing as you picked up little Robert.
His heart melted at the thought of you with your own kids. Sure, the two of you had talked about having kids before, but you had planned for it to be a while down the line. Roger was nervous, but seeing your face lit up as Robbie waved his parents goodbye washed all of his thoughts away. He knew he wanted you, and absolutely wanted this baby. But he knew that Brian wouldn’t.
“Bye you two! We’ll see you tonight!” you called as John and his wife walked out the door.
Robbie practically leaped out of your arms when he saw Roger. “Uncle Roggie!” the almost 3 year old called and ran over to your boyfriend, hugging his leg.
Roger picked the boy up by his legs and dangled him upside down, making him giggle like crazy. “Down! Down!” Rob squealed.
You walked over to the pair and started tickling Robert, then grabbed him from Roger, jokingly scolding him, “Roggie!” He hated being called that by anyone except John’s son, and he rolled his eyes at you.
The rest of your time together was spent playing hide-and-go seek and tag, which wore Robbie out, and he fell asleep in Roger’s arms on the couch. “So precious,” you said, sitting down next to them and resting your head on Rog’s shoulder. You peeked at his wrist to see that it was almost 7:30, and you were supposed to be back at your place around 8. “If we’re going to go get that test, we better head out now,” you whispered, trying not to wake the little boy.
He groaned and whined, “But I’m comfortable!”
“You can be comfortable with your own kid one day, but first we have to figure out if I’m actually pregnant...Roggie.” You smiled sweetly.
He shook his head in disapproval of the nickname, but complied, his stomach full of butterflies while he was anticipating the verdict of the test you would be getting soon. You picked Rob up from him and whispered for Roger to get the car seat, which John had left for you, and headed for the car.
+++
You quickly went into the drugstore just down the road from yours and Brian’s apartment, dressed in one of Rog’s hoodies and a pair of his sunglasses, so that no paparazzi had the chance of telling the world you were pregnant before you could. “Is this it?” the cashier asked, scanning the pink box.
“Yes, thank you very much,” you said as your handed her the money and took the change, then the bag with the test. There was a pit in your stomach as you walked outside, and you thought you were going to throw up. You and Roger loved each other very much, but you were unsure of how the fans were going to react, and you knew that Brian would not be happy.
You climbed back in the car to see that Robert was up again, clapping and smiling because Roger was singing his famous car song. “See? At least someone appreciates it,” he said.
“Uh-huh, keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.”
You turned on the radio to hear the song, ‘Keep Yourself Alive’, the song that made you first notice Roger. “I’m so, so lucky,” you said with a grin on your face, lacing your fingers with Rog’s free hand.
“Because of me?” he asked, almost surprised.
“Yes, you goof,” you said, watching a smile grow on his face, even though you told him this all the time. “You’re the best thing I‘ve ever had.”
“I’m the lucky one, baby girl,” he said, kissing the palm of your hand. He was being truly amazing about this whole ordeal. You really expected him to want nothing to do with this baby, but he couldn’t have been happier
You were smiling as you pulled up to the parking lot for your apartment. After grabbing one of the tests from the box and scooping Robbie up from the back seat, you and Roger walked hand-in-hand into the building.
As you opened the door, John said, “There they are! We were getting worried.”
“Sorry, we had to stop at the store really quickly,” you apologized to Ronnie and her husband, handing her Robbie.
The boy was smiling and he giggled, “Bought a test!”
Roger was busy helping you get your coat off, but when he heard that, he stopped dead in his tracks, and your eyes went wide and you gasped.
“A test, huh?” Deaky said, poking his son in the stomach, and thankfully neither him nor his wife realized what kind of test Rob was talking about.
“Okay, I have to go to the bathroom, but I’ll be back soon and then we can eat!” You said.
“I’ll be there soon,” Rog whispered into your ear before you scampered off.
After making a bit of small talk with John about the day, Rog hurried upstairs to go find the bathroom you were in, then locked the door behind him. You were pulling up your skirt, having finished with the test. “Now we wait,” you said as you hopped on the bathroom counter.
Rog was tracing shapes on your thigh, nervous for the outcome, while he was reassuring you that this baby would not be a burden to his career. “Baby, I adore the band, but I love you more. We’ll figure it out.”
Time was finally up and you said, “I can’t look, Rog.”
He took the test from the back of the toilet and slowly turned it over, your hand in his the whole time. He let out a sigh and started tearing up, “I’m going to be a dad,” he whispered.
You gasped and practically leaped into his arms, laughing. “I love you, Taylor.”
He twirled you around as you wiped off the tears from his face.
“And you’re sure that you’re happy about this?” you asked as he set you down.
The big grin on his face gave you your answer. “Yes,” he pressed a kiss to your face in between each word as he said: “I. Love. You. And. Our. Baby. More. Than. You. Could. Know,” then stopped to gaze into your awestruck eyes as he put a hand on your stomach.
Your moment was interrupted by a knock at the bathroom door. You opened it to see, Deaky (thankfully), and when he saw you two smiling, he said, thinking you two had just had snuck up here to have sex, “Gross. Get out and come eat. Wash your hands first, though!”
You did as you were told, then headed downstairs to eat dinner. The food was extraordinary, thanks to your brother (he actually learned his cooking from you). Everyone was complimenting him and you chimed in to tease, “Bri, I wonder where you learned how to cook like this?” And you saw him smile at you for the first time in a while, and you enjoyed the moment, especially since he wouldn’t be looking at you the same way when he found out about the baby.
You and Mary offered to clean up the dishes while Veronica put the rest of the food away, and the boys all joined in the living room with a beer each. “So, Mary...have you and Fred considered having kids yet?” you asked.
She chuckled and said, “No, I want to wait until we’re married. Why?”
“No reason,” you said, hoping she wouldn’t press more into the subject.
After you finished cleaning, you joined the boys on the couches. Freddie offered you a beer, but you politely declined, and he cocked an eyebrow at you. He knew you loved to drink, but you insisted you just were too full from the dinner. He thankfully dropped the topic and started telling everyone about how extravagant his and Mary’s wedding would be.
Right as he was starting to explain the alcohol choices, you heard Brian yell from upstairs, “Y/n May!”
You turned around and stood up to see him storming into the room holding a white plastic stick.
He found the test.
“Brian, what-” you started.
“Save it! You’re pregnant aren’t you?” He yelled at you, and you couldn’t help from taking a step back, afraid of what he would do next, and you bumped right into Roger.
Roger stepped in front of you and said, surprisingly calm, “I’m sorry. We made a mistake, Brian, but we are going to keep the baby.” He was stopped by Brian punching him right in the nose, knocking him flat.
Deaky and Freddie rushed to break the fight up, throwing Brian across the room, and helping Roger up to his feet. Roger completely ignored that fact that his nose was bleeding when he saw that you were tearing up. He rushed over to you and embraced you. “Shhh, it’s okay, I’ll take you home.” he whispered in your ear.
He grabbed your hand and started heading towards the door, but you turned around to face your brother one more time. “I’m just going to stay with Roger for a little bit, okay?”
No response, so you turned back around, where Roger was waiting for you with open arms, like always. You would be fine with Roger. You didn’t need Brian.
“Wait,” you heard a soft voice call. You saw Brian walking over, and you let go of Roger’s hand and gathered yourself, determined not to break down.
“I won’t come back if you don’t want me to, Brian. I really don’t want you to-” you said, staring at the ground, but Brian just wrapped his long arms around you and pulled you in for a hug. After a moment of confusion, you hugged him back, and you could hear your brother mumbling, “I’m so sorry,” over and over.
Everyone watched in surprise at the turn of events, but Roger was the only one smiling. “Took you two long enough,” he said.
Brian turned towards the drummer, and you held your breath, but your brother just stuck his hand out, ready to shake Roger’s.
Roger had other ideas and hugged Brian with such force that he almost fell backwards. “Missed you, mate,” your boyfriend said happily.
After they pulled away, Brian brought you back into the living room, still apologizing, and you still forgiving him, because that’s ‘what family does’, you explained. Brian held a hand close to your torso and asked, “Can I?”
You nodded, smiling along with everyone else, as you watched him hold a hand to your belly. “There’s really a baby in there?” your brother asked.
Roger put an arm around your shoulder and said cockily, “Thanks to me. We have had a lot of practice...” and winked.
Your brother glared at Roger and said with a vile tone, “If you hurt her, Taylor-”
“I’m dead, I know, I know,” Rog finished and gave you a peck on the cheek. “I don’t think that’s going to happen.”
John laughed, holding his wife around the waist, and said, “Oh, you ever heard of labor? Technically that’s your fault too.”
And much to your amusement, Roger asked, “Labor can’t be that bad, right?”
Oh baby. He had a lot to learn in the next nine months.
a/n: here’s the sneak peak to chapter 10! just finishing it up! hope you enjoy this.
warnings: mentions of miscarriage, language.
+++
“Bri, I will be fine! I’m just going to watch like I always do!” you assured your brother before the press meeting for A Day At The Races. You planned just to just stay by Miami and Paul, no matter how much you hated the latter.
“But what if they ask about...well...”
“Then we’ll answer the question. The press needs to know about Oliver sometime,” you said, Roger squeezing your hand as you walked into the room, lights flashing in your face. “Good luck boys,” you said before pecking Rog on the cheek.
“Freddie! Your song, ‘Somebody To Love’, any hidden meaning behind that?” One of the reporters asked to start off the evening.
Most of the questions were boring, and you had been making eyes at Roger the whole time, him winking and smirking back at you.
Then: “Brian, how are you dealing with being an uncle? Especially that your bandmate is the father?”
John and Freddie shared a nervous look while Brian scratched his head, and Roger stared ceiling, his eyes glossed over.
“I just...I don’t think we have time for personal questions, um, right now.”
Another reporter chimed in: “And Roger! How is y/n going to deal with raising the baby while you’re on tour?”
“How is custody going to work while you’re away?”
Roger’s head snapped to look at the man who had asked him the question. “Custody?” He stood up, and Brian tried to pull him back down in the chair, but it was too late. “We aren’t-we don’t need to share custody! We’re together!”
“But you won’t really be present right?”
“I’m tired of this,” Roger muttered, trying to walk away from the table.
“Nope, you guys are here to talk to them, so you’re going to,” Paul scolded him, attempting to turn Roger back around to the press.
Roger shoved Paul away from him and hastily walked over to you, grabbing your hand. You followed closely behind him as the press kept asking questions. “Roger! Are you and y/n trying to hide something?” “Why won’t you just tell us?” “We want to know about the baby!”
Roger turned back around to yell, “We lost the baby! Is that what you want to know?” No on moved a muscle, but you were starting to tear up. “Get the fuck out of my face,” he said through gritted teeth as he pushed Paul again.
Brian stood up, following you two out of the room, expecting the reporters to back off, but he was wrong.
They started pressing even more into your’s and Roger’s life. “When did this happen?”
You walked into the parking lot.
“Was the baby a boy or girl?”
Roger started to open the car door for you.
“Will this affect the next album?”
You felt a reporter pull you back by the arm and you shrieked.
“Y/n!” Brian yelled, then tackled the reporter to the ground as Roger pulled you back into his arms.
You held your breath as you waited for the swarm of reporters around you to calm down, but it seems that Brian’s actions only riled them up more.
You stayed close to Roger’s chest while his arms were wrapped around you, and he guided you back to the car. You sat down in the passenger seat and held your face in your hands, letting the tears fall, not caring about the pictures the newspapers would have tomorrow morning.
The last thing you heard was Roger saying in a vile tone, “Say what you want to me, but don’t you fucking dare try to ask y/n about this. She’s been through enough. We lost a child and you’re here trying to ask us about the gender? Go to hell!”
+++
a/n: the full part should be up tomorrow! i’m just editing.
a/n: okay so this is gonna be a long ass series I guess but i’m fine with that. I apologize for the wait.
warnings: ANGST, for real you better prepare yourself. didn’t really proofread, so just beware!
previous chapter (should include links to the others):
chapter 7
+++
[confirming the pregnancy]
Roger squeezed your hand reassuringly as you laid back with your stomach exposed, Doctor Turner applying jelly to the area. You glanced at him nervously, but your boyfriend was all smiles, unlike the other boys who were standing crammed together in the exam room. You had protested, but they wouldn’t let you go without them.
“So what exactly is the situation with you all, if you don’t mind me asking?” Doctor Turner asked politely.
The boys spoke over each other, leaving you to clarify. “Roger here is the father, of course,” you said, nodding towards your boyfriend. “And those three,” you said pointing to the boys in front of you, “are the uncles who insisted on joining us today.” The woman chuckled.
“Well, yes, but I’m the only real uncle,” Brian said.
“Y/n and Roger said-” Deaky started.
“Whatever!” your brother cut him off. “I’m the one who’s related by blood.”
“Rog is related by sperm, so he wins,” Freddie taunted, causing your brother to roll his eyes.
“Obviously, I know that Fred, but-”
The boys stopped their griping when an image popped up on the ultrasound screen. “That right there,” Doctor Turner explained, pointing to a small spot on the screen, “Is your baby.”
You grinned widely and turned to Roger, who was doing the same. Then you heard a thumping noise. “What’s that?” Roger asked hesitantly.
“It’s the heartbeat, isn’t it?” you said, and the doctor nodded.
Rog, tearing up, kissed your knuckles and tucked a strand of loose hair behind your ear. John, having already experienced this before with Veronica, enjoyed the sight of his friends’ happiness about their own baby. Freddie winked at you and smiled, and Brian was wiping the tears away that had already formed in his eyes. Everyone was watching in awe.
“Okay, so you’re about 4 weeks pregnant, and you can come back in here in another month and get another ultrasound,” Doctor Turner said. “Do you guys have any questions?”
“Can we possibly get a copy of the ultrasound?” you asked, then turned to everyone else in the room. “Maybe a few?”
Throughout the next week, Roger and you were barely able to keep the boys’ mouths shut about the baby. “So many of our friends know and we want to keep it private while we can,” requested Roger.
“Darling, this is wonderful! The whole world deserves to know!” Freddie exclaimed.
“The whole world deserves to know what?” Paul asked as he let himself into Freddie and Mary’s one day.
“Nothing,” you and Roger said in unison while turning to look at the man you both hated so much.
“If looks could kill...” John mumbled under his breath, causing Brian to smirk.
[eight weeks]
“Good morning, baby girl,” Roger said as he kissed you, “and baby,” he finished as he gently kissed your tiny bump. “Do you want some breakfast? No coffee, though.”
Caffeine was your drug of choice, besides whiskey, and it was annoying not to be able to drink either while pregnant with your baby, but you knew it would be so worth it. “Ugh, I know Rog,” you grumbled. “Do we have any fruit?” You asked, and right on cue, he slid you a bowl of sugar-sprinkled strawberries.
“You already have an awful sweet tooth, but the kid is making it so much worse. But I’m letting you eat sugar for breakfast now?” he teased you, and you just stuck your tongue out at him.
You hopped up on the counter and started eating your favorite fruit. Roger said, “In a few weeks, you’re not going to be able to do that anymore,” with a smile on his face. He stood beside you, his plate of bacon sitting next to your legs.
“Because I’m carrying your kid Taylor, and I’m gonna get all big and emotional because of it, so you’d better watch it,” you taunted. Then you smelled the bacon.
Your face crinkled up, and you immediately felt nauseous. “What?” Roger asked, concerned.
“The smell, it’s just...too much...” you said while trying not to gag.
“But you love bacon!”
“Baby Taylor doesn’t seem to like it too much right now...,” you said, breathing deeply.
“Oh Christ, please tell me our kid isn’t gonna be like Brian and be a vegetar-” Rog started, but you didn’t let him finish as you ran to the bathroom and threw up.
He quickly followed you and held back your hair with one hand while rubbing your back softly with the other. You continued on for a few more minutes, then collapsed next to the toilet. Roger sat down next to you. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I mean, this is good. Doctor Turner said I should be getting morning sickness and that some foods would make me sick, so I guess this is it.”
“I’m not kissing you until you brush your teeth,” Roger deadpanned as he helped you to your feet.
You ruffled his hair, quickly brushed your teeth, then headed back into the kitchen to get a glass of water, him following closely behind. “Wait, we have another ultrasound in,” you check the watch on his wrist, “three hours, so can we stay here and cuddle until then?”
He smiled and picked you up bridal style, then took you to the couch. He popped in your favorite movie, Grease, and shuffled over next to you on the couch. When you laid your head on his lap, you looked up at Roger, but he was so infatuated with the movie to notice. He was so pretty without even trying. The blonde grabbed your hand out of instinct when he felt it on his cheek and kissed your knuckles. Roger looked down at you. “Are you staring?”
Your face turned pink, “No, Rog, I think I’ve known you long enough to know what you look like,” you said, sitting up.
His face moved closer to yours and he smirked, “That doesn't mean you have to stop thinking about how good looking I am. Or how good I am in bed,” he winked.
You pressed a hand to his chest while biting your lip. “Why don’t you remind me...” The next thing you knew, Rog had you pinned down and was already starting to go to work. “Wait, Rog,” he picked his head up from your neck. “Be gentle please, the bump’s bigger than it was last time.” He smiled and pressed a kiss to your cheek before getting back to it.
Afterwards, the two of you laid back, legs intertwined, with a small blanket covering parts of your skin. “I’m glad I can still make you scream, even with the baby in there,” Rog said, gently poking your belly.
You giggled, then snuggled into him after checking his watch. “We still have two hours. Just stay here and hold me.”
He wrapped his arms around you, and the two of you fell asleep. That is, until you heard Brian. “Oh my God! She’s pregnant and the two of you are still going at it!”
You woke up with a startle, causing Rog to jump as well, then he realized what was going on. “You expect me to go nine months without making love to your sexy sist-” You tried to cover his mouth, but you were too late. Brian was already covering his ears and John and Fred were already snickering.
“Why are you guys here?” you asked through a yawn.
“Sweetheart, the appointment! For the baby!” You stared blankly at Freddie. Neither you nor Roger expected them to be this involved. “Then we can go shopping!” Freddie suggested.
Roger glanced at you, and when you shrugged, he said, “Fine by me.” He picked up a throw pillow and covered his crotch, then scampered off to the bedroom.
John grumbled at Rog’s lack of understanding that not everyone wanted to see him naked. You all heard Rog yell, “Nothing no one in there hasn’t seen before!”
You chuckled, remembering the stories of Roger getting drunk and stripping for the boys, which was Nothing out of the ordinary for Roger after having a few too many drinks. You wrapped the blanket around you and followed your boyfriend to go get dressed.
While you and Roger were changing, Fred found your panties on the ground. “Oh, Brian,” he called, stretching out your brother’s name while dangling your underwear in the air.
“STOP! You’re disgusting, mate!” Brian cried out. He knew they were just trying to get a reaction out of him, but he hated knowing about his little sister’s sex life.
“I’ll take those,” Roger said, as he grabbed them out of Fred’s hand, then shoved the panties in his own pocket. You blushed, but took Roger’s hand and followed him out to the car.
In the car, you hummed quietly to the radio while holding Rog’s hand and listening to the three boys in the back argue over potential baby names.
“If anything it should be Brian Jr, not Freddie Jr.”
“Yeah? You want the kid going around with the initials ‘B.J.’?”
“Seems real appropriate for y/n and Rog, though doesn’t it, Bri?”
Roger and you chuckled, and your boyfriend looked in the rear view mirror and said, “What if it’s a girl?”
Your brother didn’t even hesitate when he said, “Brianna, of course.”
You shook your head at the comment as the car pulled into the doctor’s office. Inside, the ultrasound technician was new, and she had you and the boys scared for a minute that you were having twins, but she called Doctor Turner in right away and cleared everything up. After that minor situation, you got a couples new sonogram pictures to hang up on the fridge and were on your way.
“When are you two going to tell the press that y/n is pregnant?” Freddie asked in the car. “I just think they should find out from you, and with the tour coming up...”
You cocked your head at Roger and he smiled nervously. “A tour?” you asked.
“I’m sorry, love, I know I should have told you sooner, and you know you’re allowed to come with us if you want. But you’re in your last semester of uni, and the baby, I didn’t want to overwhelm you,” Roger rambled.
“Well...I guess I could take my exams early. Surely you don’t leave for what, another month?”
Roger’s face lit up. “Two! They just told us last week!” He looked like a kid on Christmas. “Can you please come? We love having you, and you’re basically-”
“Easy there, Rog. We get it, you enjoy having my sister around,” Brian grumbled, causing the others to chuckle, but Rog just kept grinning.
[buying everything for the baby]
“Roger and I agreed, we want it to be a surprise for the first baby, so stick with gender neutral stuff, please,” you told the boys before they split up from you and Roger at the ‘baby stuff store’, as your boyfriend had called it.
Brian turned to you and put a hand on your shoulder, concerned. “This isn’t going to be the only baby?”
Rog showed Brian your left hand and pointed to your ring finger, “Well first there’s going to be a ring right here, then more kids.” You smiled at the thought as Roger pulled you away to the onesie aisle.
“You’re getting married?” You heard Brian call in disbelief.
No one was in the aisle, so Roger pulled you close and whispered, “When do you want to marry me, love?”
“I hope this isn’t your proposal, Rog.”
He smiled softly, but said, “No, I just want to know if you would say yes.”
You placed both hands on his chest and said, “Of course I would, sweetheart. I love you with my whole heart. And the baby.”
He stuck out his pinkie and you shook it with yours. “I love you too,” he said before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “And the baby.”
Roger turned to pick out a onesie from the rack. It was white and had rubber ducks all over it. You nodded, and he dropped it in the cart you had gotten when you walked into the store earlier. Then, you spotted some grey pajamas that were covered in red drums. You grabbed it and dangled it in front of Roger’s face. He looked almost as excited as he did when one of the albums hit the charts, jumping around and smiling like he was. “Yes, please, y/n, we have to get this for the baby.”
Overall, the trip was successful, and Deaky had been a real help. He knew exactly what to buy, from cribs and rocking chairs to pacifiers and breast pumps.
“Ronnie says that this one barely hurts at all,” he had said while pointing to one in a baby blue box, “which is good, because your nipples are going to be sensitive with the kid sucking on them all the time.”
“Woah, woah, her nipples?” Roger asked in an extremely confused tone. “Sensitive?”
“Roger, the baby is going to eat whenever it’s hungry, which is a lot,” you explained.
You could see Brian cringing behind Deaky, and Freddie just looked clueless. “Why are we talking about this?” your brother said through a grimace.
“Because the baby is going to breastfeed, I assume,” John started, and you and Roger nodded, “and it’s just that I know the most about this stuff.”
“Brian if you want to have your own kids someday, then you’re going to have to talk about this stuff,” Roger said through a smirk. Usually the curly-haired man was the one lecturing him, not the other way around.
[putting the baby’s room together] - about 16 weeks pregnant now
You walked into the nursery one morning to see all but one of the walls painted the light grey you and Roger had picked out. The plan was to have white furniture and the decorations would be light blue and yellow, with the rest being added after the baby was born and you knew the gender. You had already picked out a few giraffe toys for the baby, though, since you two thought they were so adorable.
Roger had his hair in one of your headbands and was wearing sweats and a white t-shirt. “Do you like it?” he asked when he saw you.
You smiled. “I love it Roger. This is all so amazing.” You could feel the tears coming on and you groaned.
He walked over and smirked. “Hormones?” he teased.
“Don’t make fun of me, baby, otherwise I’m only gonna cry more.”
Rog tried to hug you, but pulled away when he felt something moving. Both of you stared at each other with wide eyes. You felt it again. It was like something was tapping the inside of your stomach. You placed a hand to your bump and smiled.
“It’s the baby!” You said happily.
“Moving?”
“Yes! Come here!” and you took Roger’s hand, placing his next to your own.
He gasped when it happened again. Then again. Roger laughed. “That’s our baby!” You could see his eyes brimming with tears, and you knew yours were doing the same.
You spent the rest of the day talking to the other boys about it, and Roger eagerly finished up the nursery in record time.
[telling the press]
The tour had been cancelled, due to ‘poor management’. Understatement of the century. Now the boys were being grilled by the press as you mingled with Veronica and Mary, who were asking about how the baby was feeling.
“It was so strange at first, but now it’s just second nature.” You were almost 18 weeks pregnant, and the baby had been kicking like crazy. “Roger keeps saying we have a little drummer on our hands.”
“I know! The first time Robert kicked, John almost took me to the hospital because it was such a weird feeling that I just didn’t know if there was something wrong with the baby,” Veronica shared. Then she lowered her voice, “Also, I expect this one to start kicking in a few months,” she said as she pointed to her own stomach.
You and Mary squealed at the news and shared your congratulations, and the boys (all but John) gave quizzical looks towards you, wondering what was happening now. Deaks just smiled proudly.
The boys had the attention redirected towards the reporters, who immediately started asking questions.
Most of them were simple questions about the management, or about the new album, and they didn’t get interesting until they started hitting a little closer to home.
“Brian, what’s the situation on Roger and your sister?”
He smiled calmly. “Her name is y/n, and I’ll let Roger answer that himself. I don’t need to speak for them.” That’s what you call growth.
The cameras started flashing on Roger as he started, “Yes, well, Miss May and I are in quite an intimate relationship. Have been for almost a year now.”
“Thinking about marriage yet, Mr. Taylor?” one asked, and Roger stopped to glance at you. You simply smiled back while holding your belly.
He smirked towards the crowd, “Yes, sometime soon after the baby is born, hopefully.”
You giggled when he winked at you, and the press went wild. They were standing up and shouting questions, and there were cameras flashing left and right. Freddie leaned into the microphone and said, “That’s all we have time for today, darlings!”
The boys quickly hurried away to get as far as possible from the nosy press. “Did you like that?” Roger asked with a grin on his face as he approached you. You kissed him gently and said, “It was perfect,” with a smile that lit up the whole room.
[…]
You groaned and started whimpering in your sleep, causing Rog to wake up and see you holding your stomach and tossing and turning in the bed. He gently shook you awake. “Hey, hey, y/n, what’s wrong?” he asked in a soft voice, helping you sit up.
You felt a period-like cramp and winced, grabbing your stomach. “I don’t-” you inhaled sharply, feeling a stabbing pain in you side, and Roger grabbed your hand. “I don’t know.”
“Do you want a glass of water?” he suggested.
“Sure,” you said after taking a deep breath. “Thank you, Rog.”
When he returned a few moments later, your breathing was shallow and you were gripping onto the blanket to steady yourself. He set the cup down and rushed over to you. “That’s it, we’re going to the hospital.”
He steadily helped you into the car, then proceeded to drive like a madman to the hospital just a few miles away. You gritted your teeth, trying not to cry because of the pain in your back and abdomen. Your knuckles were white as you held on the edge of the seat for dear life. “We’re almost there, hold on baby girl,” Rog said as he pulled into the emergency parking lot.
You were starting to tear up as he opened the door and helped you to your feet. You leaned on him for support, and when you entered the building, the doctors knew exactly what to do. One came next to Roger with a wheelchair and helped you into it, another started asking Roger questions about your and your baby’s health, and others were rushing around in the background trying to get the right person here for you.
You and Roger were ushered into a room with a nurse standing by the bed already. You looked up at Roger to see his expression full of panic. Someone wheeled an ultrasound machine next to the left side of the bed while you were being guided onto it, and Doctor Turner came in wearing all pink scrubs.
“Hello, again, you two. We’re just going to check you right out,” she said while preparing the machine. Your pain had stopped for the moment. “Normally, I wouldn’t be here, but I was on-call tonight.” She moved the wand over your ever-growing bump as Roger squeezed your hand. “Now have you experienced any bleeding?” she asked, cautious not to trigger any fear.
“No, not at all,” you said slowly while looking at Roger.
She remained silent as you and Roger kept looking at each other fearfully.
“Is there something wrong?” Roger asked quietly.
She took a breath before giving you a sad look. “I think you’re experienced a miscarriage.”
You blinked, dumbfounded. “I...how?”
“It’s rare at 18 weeks, but the body sometimes just does this, and there sometimes isn’t a reason.” You sniffled. “I’ll give you two a moment before we discuss what’s next,” She said as she exited the room.
You held your head in your hands and began to sob while apologizing profusely. “I’m so, so sorry, Roger. I don’t know what happened...I’m so sorry, please...”
Roger stood up with a face full of tears and embraced you. “This is isn’t your fault love, please, don’t blame this on yourself. Shhh…”
You sobbed into his chest and grabbed his shirt softly. “I don’t know what happened.”
“I know, baby.”
They took your baby out of you. It would have been a little boy. You got to hold him. When they handed him to you, you got choked up. He didn’t even look like a real baby. But he was yours, and this was the only time that you would have ever been able to hold him, so you did. Roger sat next to you in the white bed, and you held your tiny baby boy for almost an hour, crying and speaking softly to him. You and Roger named him Oliver Meddows Taylor. He would have been born May 23.
The car ride home the next morning was silent. You let the tears fall silently as you looked out the window, and Roger let a few fall as well. He was trying to be tough for you, but you knew that he was just as broke inside as you were. You had seen him come out of the bathroom with a red and tear-stained face in the hospital at least a few times.
When the car stopped in the driveway, you rushed inside to the bathroom and vomited your guts out, and Roger stayed in the car to (unbeknownst to you) sob and scream and sob some more. He didn’t understand why this had to happen to you or to him. You didn’t deserve this. He had promised you the world, and now you were both grieving the loss of your child. No one could have predicted this.
[telling brian]
You silently crept out of bed and into the nursery, something you had been doing whenever Roger was asleep. He had still been telling you that it wasn’t your fault, but you still felt so guilty. Two days had passed, and it hadn’t gotten any easier. You sat down in the rocking chair and held what would have been Oliver’s blanket close to your chest as you picked up the phone, slowly dialing Brian.
He picked up on the fifth ring. “Roger it’s three in the morning.”
You were silent. “Y/n?” He asked. “You guys aren’t being funny, if-”
Your lip quivered as you spoke, almost in a whisper, “Brian.”
He could tell something was wrong. “What is it?”
Your voice cracked as you said, “Brian...we, we lost the baby.”
He sighed. “Oh, y/n...”
“The doctor said that these things just happen, but I can’t help but think that it’s my fault.”
“It’s not your fault, I can promise you that. You were doing everything just right.”
“And Roger’s trying to be strong for me,” you said, starting to cry, “But I know he’s hurting too.”
“When did you find out?” your brother asked.
“A few days ago-but everything happened so quickly that we didn’t have time to tell you-”
He calmed you, “It’s okay...I understand...you’re alright.” You began to breathe normally again.
You didn’t know that Roger had felt you get out of bed and followed you to the nursery. He was sitting outside the door, sunk to his feet, trying to hold the tears back. His heart was broken too, but he ached for you. You were in physical pain because of this, cramping, vomiting, and nauseous, and all Roger could do was watch.
“I love you, too, Bri,” he heard you say as you hung up the phone, and slowly tiptoed towards the door of the nursery, until you saw him. “Rog?”
You crouched down in front of him and lifted his face up in your hands, only to see him sobbing. “Love, I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
You leaned into him as you hugged him and felt the tears coming up again. You nestled your face into the crook of his neck. “It’s not your fault, it’s not mine...”
He let out a small sob as he wrapped his arms around you. “We’re going to get through this,” he said softly.
You smiled sadly as you pulled away and stuck out your pinky. He shook it, kissed your forehead, and wrapped you back in his arms, and carried you back to bed.
You two laid there, crying and holding each other until you fell asleep.
+++
okay wow look I can actually write...maybe?
taglist: @16wiishes @cheyismaxi @ohfxxkitsme @excusememecouldyoupleaseleave @laubluered @simplyvictoria-93 @wowicantbelieveitsnotgay @mrsmazzello also! I was trying to tag someone, but their user wasn’t working? so idk what happened! sorry!
a/n: i like this one. comment what you think/what i should do for the next chapter!! :) xoxo
summary: reader gets upset because roger is surrounded by girls 24/7 and not paying attention to her. ends in fluff.
warnings: i don’t think any. language maybe.
previous parts:
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4
+++
You woke up to Roger, John and Fred jumping on top of you in your bed and shouting.
“Wake up darling, it’s tour day!” Freddie said while hitting you with a pillow.
You groaned and rolled over, burying your face in your blanket. “Give me five more minutes, please!” While you were excited to go on the tour, you knew it would be a lot of waiting while the boys did sound checks, press meetings, and talked to fans, and that’s why you were glad that Mary, Freddie’s girlfriend, would be joining you too.
Roger started tickling you and you shrieked. “Get up! Come on, love!”
When you finally sat up, the boys all started laughing at you. “Nice hair,” Brian said, and you looked in the mirror on your wall to see your hair looking like a complete rat’s nest.
“Get out!” you exclaimed, throwing a pillow at your brother.
“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” John mumbled.
You rolled your eyes as they headed out, but you grabbed Roger’s hand and he turned to look at you. “You can stay,” you said and smiled, pulling him onto the bed with you.
He hovered over you and smirked. “You just can’t resist, huh?” He tickled you again.
Giggling, you pecked his lips. Roger smoothly rolled over so you were on top, straddling him. He pushed the hair out of your face and pressed a kiss to your forehead.
“Found him,” Freddie said flatly. He was followed by John and your brother.
You hopped off Roger and walked over to the door, shutting it. You heard snickering outside the door, but you ignored it. You walked over to the closet and pulled out a pair of high waisted bell bottom and a crop top that tied in the middle, right between your breasts. You took off your night shirt, revealing only panties underneath and you felt Roger come up behind you, putting his hands on your bare waist. He kissed you on the neck and whispered, “Good morning, doll.”
You turned to face him, “Good morning,” you said, and kissed him on the cheek, then moved past Roger to get dressed. After you picked out a pair of heels that matched your outfit and the necklace Rog had bought you for your 3 month anniversary, you headed for the door, but Roger grabbed you hand and pulled you back.
Your hand landed on his chest and he said coyly, “Can we stay here, and I’ll give you a proper wake up call?”
You smirked, but said, “No, Rog, the boys are waiting for us. But you can tell me good night later any way you’d like.”
He smiled back and complied, opening the door for you. You walked out and the boys were still standing there. Fred asked, “Are you two done?”
You rolled your eyes and grabbed your bags, ready to head to the airport.
When everyone arrived, you headed straight to find Mary. The boys always teased you two because of how giggly and childlike you two were together, always gossiping like teenage girls. Sometimes Freddie and Roger joked that you two were going to abandon them for each other because of how close you were. “Mary!” you called out when you saw her.
She turned towards you and ran over, and you saw something glistening on her hand. Your eyes got wide and you asked, “Is that what I think it is?”
She nodded and held up her left hand to show a ring on her finger. “Oh my gosh!” you shrieked, then grabbed her hand to get a good look at it. “Oh Mary, it’s beautiful. Freddie has such good taste.”
“Hopefully Roger can pick out one that’s good enough for you,” she winked.
You blushed and said, “It’s only been four months.”
She smiled softly, “Yes, but I have a feeling that he’s the one. He always has been. Ever since I met you two.”
You grinned, looking at the ground. “Well I hope so.”
Brian shouted from the end of the gate, “Are you ladies coming or not? I’m sure we have plenty of roadies that could fill your spot!”
You turned and stuck your middle finger up at him, then grabbed Mary’s arm and the two of you, giggling, got ready to get on the jet. You found Roger and grabbed his hand when you caught up with the rest of the group.
Outside, there was paparazzi ready with cameras. Their camera bulbs started flashing and you gripped Roger’s hand tighter. “You better get used to this,” you whispered. “You boys are going to be bigger than you can even imagine.”
+++
The first show was unreal, like nothing you could ever have dreamed of. The crowd had their hands in the air, screaming the lyrics, trying to get closer to the band. You couldn’t stop smiling, and Roger was a big part of that. The way he worked the drums with complete grace, and the face he made with his lips sticking out was your favorite. Brian was mesmerizing too, the way he made playing guitar look easy, even though you knew that it was the opposite (you had tried many times before). John was hilarious with his bouncing and little dance moves as he played the bass flawlessly. But Freddie, he was wonderful. He moved like he owned the stage, and interacted with the crowd. You loved the others to pieces, but you knew that Freddie was what everyone else was watching. And he made it work. He was a star that night, and from every night forward as well.
The only thing you hated was the way the girls crowded around them after the show. They would touch the boys, and you cringed every time one got close to Roger. He either wore a half-unbuttoned shirt or no shirt at all, and the girls couldn’t keep their hands off of him. It pissed you off every show, and sometimes you had to leave, unable to watch, and you left Roger wondering where you had gone. You tried to understand that fame was what he wanted, and now that he was finally getting it, is was difficult to focus on anything but that. But you still wanted to be with him more.
He thought he was doing enough to pay attention to you. Hell, you were still having sex regularly, he was sneaking kisses and little touches, but he did notice that you were becoming distant. Roger had considered that you were just homesick, missing school (even though you were on break) and your friends, so he brushed it off. He had no idea that it was because of his behavior. You were always so supportive of him that he didn’t know why you would have a reason not to be.
The two of you were at a party one night, and you were sitting on his lap, drink in one hand, and his hand in the other. He whispered in your ear, “You look drop-dead gorgeous tonight, baby.” You blushed, as he was never complimenting you anymore, always too busy with the fans. “Part of me wants to just rip off that dress right now.”
And there it was. He wanted to only be physical right now. Just sex. And while you loved it, you didn’t fall in love for him for the way he was in bed. You fell in love with Roger Meddows Taylor, and you never forgot why. You were in love with his smirk, his smile, and his crystal blue eyes. You adored his sweet talk, the way he could calm you down in any situation, and the way he treated you like a princess. Rog was always cracking jokes, and making you laugh. He would hold you close on those nights you were stressed, or just because he wanted you. Because he loved you. And you tried to hold onto that, but part of you thought you were losing that connection with the man who you loved so dearly.
“Later Rog,” you whispered back, tracing the veins on his hand. “Can we just dance for now?”
He took a sip of his beer and said, “Doll, you know I don’t dance at parties.”
You turned your body halfway to face him, “Rog, you sing to me at home and we slow dance all the time. This isn’t that different.” But he just smiled and pressed a kiss to your cheek.
Fine, two could play at this game. “Deaky. Let’s go dance,” you said with a sweet smile as you stood up from Roger’s lap. You knew the bassist wouldn’t turn down this.
He smiled back, ever the sweetheart, and you took his arm and led him to the dance floor. “Is everything all right y/n?” he asked as you two started moving to the beat.
“Of course, Deaks. Never better,” you lied through your teeth, and you knew he could tell, but he didn’t say anything back, he just took your arms and kept dancing.
As the time passed by that night, you slowly forgot about your annoyance with Roger. Until you looked over and saw him with one girl on each knee, wearing dresses, that with one wrong movement, could reveal everything. You stopped dancing and felt the heat on your face. John stopped too and followed your gaze. “Oh, y/n...he’s drunk...it doesn’t mean-”
You walked off of the dance floor, in the opposite direction of the drummer, Deaky following close behind. “Y/n! Y/n!” he called, but you kept heading for the door. When you walked outside you could barely breathe, and you couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. “Hey...hey...” John said softly, pulling you in for a hug.
Through sobs, you said, “He doesn’t even pay attention to me anymore. I’m just here for whenever he needs me.”
John wiped the tears off of your face. “No, y/n, that’s not true.”
“You know it is.”
He swallowed, staring at the ground. “He still loves you.”
You let out another sob. “I don’t know John. He’s in there with two girls, not even caring that you and I were dancing together.”
“Let me take you back to the hotel, then I’ll come knock some sense into him.”
You complied, and John hailed a taxi for you two.
Back at the hotel, he made sure you were situated then asked, ”Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” You nodded and he left to go back to the party to get Roger.
After what seemed like hours, you heard the door open and Roger kick his shoes off. “Y/n?” he called, and you sat up from your side of the bed.
“Why did John make me come back here?” He asked, and you scoffed. “What?” He asked.
You stood up. “Why?” you asked, in a mocking tone. “Because I had to leave, and he thought you might want to check on me. I had to leave because you...you were just having a great time with those girls on your lap, all over you. You always do!”
He looked confused. “What are you talking about?”
“You don’t know? You’re always ditching me for other girls, for fans! Girls you don’t even know, when just hours earlier, you’re telling me you love me?”
He went silent, then said. “They’re just fans.”
“Yes, they’re just fans, but they’re beautiful girls that are sitting on your lap, whispering in your ear, and kissing your cheek. And you just let it happen.”
Roger’s face fell and he walked over to you, grabbing your hands. “Love, I’m so sorry. I don’t mean anything by it. I didn’t know you felt this way. I’m really so sorry, I don’t want you to-”
The rest of his ramble was drowned out by your own head spinning a million miles a minute. You leaned into him, and he wrapped his arms around you. You felt the tears fall once more, and your chest tightened. God damn it, you thought. Not another.
Roger noticed your shallow breathing, even though you were trying to hide it. He pulled away and sat you down on the bed. He went through your whole routine of having your hands on his face, trying to breathe, and him wiping the tears away.
“I’m sorry,” you said softly.
He ran his hand on one of your cheeks, “No, no, baby girl, this isn’t your fault. You don’t have to apologize for anything. I’m the one who’s sorry.” He kissed your forehead.
The two of you made your way on to the bed after silently shifting into your pajamas. You wore his button up and he wore a pair of sweats. You laid your head on top of his chest as he pulled the covers over you two. He held you tightly and was stroking your hair with one of his hands. “I just never want to lose you,” you said quietly.
He couldn’t imagine ever losing you either, and was determined not to do something dumb enough to let that happen. “I never want to lose you either, y/n May.”
“You know one day I’ll get to call you y/n Taylor,” he said and your head popped up.
“You want me to...to marry you one day?” you asked and he nodded.
“Of course,” he said with a smile. “It wouldn’t be anyone else. I’ll have to get Brian’s approval first obviously, then he can walk you down the aisle. And after that we can make little baby Taylors and live in a big house together.”
“And have lots of cars,” you added.
He chuckled and said, “Yes, I would love that. Only with you. It’s always you.”
You pressed a kiss to his lips then put your head on his chest again, melting into his embrace. “I love you, Rog.”
“I love you more than you could ever know, Miss May.”
Roger watched as you fell asleep on him, unaware that you were dreaming of your future life with him. A wonderful life with beautiful kids, lots of music, and lots of love. He knew he never wanted to do anything again that might hurt you.
Your last thought before you drifted off was, “Maybe Mary was right.”
