Bridge The Game of Extracting Your Opponent’s Teeth
I do not jest. This is what it is all about. And generally your opponent’s teeth are like crocodile teeth.
Successfully done, you are on the way to becoming a good bridge player. The Game of Bridge as I have so often stated, is not for sissies, my dears. It is a croc eat croc world out there, and you need to develop a thick skin to be able to master the game.
The Game of Bridge – 15 Warm-up tricks of the trade
As in any competitive sport my dears, you need to do some stretching exercises, as well as limbering up to be fit enough to go out and extract some teeth.
1. First things first. Do not play with dog-eared sticky cards. You would not play golf with your tennis racquet, do not play bridge with anything other than good bridge cards.
2. Have a couple of sets of bridge cards available in your bridge drawer – yes that means buying a few good sets. (You can, I will allow this, play with Cruella Deville using your oldish playing cards. And, yes, you can gloat when she takes two out of her hand because they have stuck together. But no-one else!)
3. Treat your partner well. Listen and obey. You have gone to the bridge game altar with her.
4. This partner must be on the same wave length in terms of leads and conventions. You don’t necessarily have to love her, just obey. That is life – no so?
5. Know the level of skill of your precious partner. If she is weak, the crocs will attack sooner. Protect her.
6. The divorce can come after the game, not during.
7. Practice your post-mortem skills. Don’t get your teeth extracted again – so use these skills to improve your game.
8. No raised eyebrows, drumming of fingers on the table, or heavy sighs.
9. You simply have to remember the bidding – you may have forgotten how you got to the bridge table, but remember the bidding.
10. Spot the player who hesitates during the bidding. A sure give away that he has a problem hand. He is the croc who is still basking in the sun and seeing fish where there aren’t any.
11. Spot the player who starts counting on her fingers (or claws in some instances) – sure give away that she has a few points. No-one is going to take a long time counting points, if they only have 6 high card points
12. You must know what your croc opponents are plotting. So know the specific bridge game they are playing.
13. Defending is equally as important as attack. Don’t let them take your teeth. So watch the cards as if you are watching a card trickster – the small ones are equally as important as the big ones.
14. You are allowed to huff and puff if someone takes too long sorting their bridge cards out. This is a no-no.
15. You must count the cards. The bridge cards, not the birthday cards on the mantelpiece.
You are nearly there. Remember extraction needs focus and strength. Just go out and do it.
