The Fuck Just Happened? Hey! Hey! Did That Fucking Bridge Fucking Disintegrate!?!
What the fuck?!?
Like, what the-fu-shit, really?
How the fuck does that happen with Bruce Banner nowhere near the thing?
It collapsed?!? A motherfucking bridge just fucking collapsed?
Jenga towers collapse. Sandcastles collapse. Sexless marriages collapse.
Not a fucking bridge carrying hundreds of thousands of commuters with no plans on being in a direct-to-video Micheal Bay movie. Sending plumes of smoke and fire that look like drones carpet bombing a segment of land in front of Piedmont or if Nicki Minaj decided to burn just one of her flammable neon weaves. What kind of pavement smiting C-list supervillain decided to mix Pop Rocks and Diet Coke. Who makes a bridge with less structural integrity than wet panties in the bathroom sink. A state (apparently under)funded bridge withered faster than Donald trump's erection on the rare occasion his wife expresses verbal consent.
I just watched an entire section of interstate crumble faster Drake whenever one of his ghostwriters put Kendrick on the car radio.
How in Paula Deen's Coon Creamery does this happen with no state official going on live television and committing ritual seppuku only after ingesting a damp bag of seasoned nipples as an apology? Is this what we can expect in the Age of Trump? State infrastructure doing their best impersonation of a Samsung phone the same day Bubbles from The Wire turns snitch on Trump?
No, Just no, Atlanta. Put your dick back in your corduroys and clean yourself up. You're embarrassing us.