#brilane

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Tune into @1029wblm this Sunday at 8pm to hear about my new single "Bigger Than Me" and my upcoming shows! #wblm #biggerthanme #radio #brilane #music

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Thank you for having me at Street Eats and Beats Festival. It was a blast 💙 Photo Credit : @doubleexposureartandphoto #music #festival #thompsonspoint #streeteatsandbeats #brilane

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Hey check out this new video with my face in it :) HUGE thank you to my friends over at @glasscoveproductions 💙 Full video is at: https://youtu.be/i1BShPfhsXc #singer #songwriter #video #youtube #brilane

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Wild Side Music Video Out Now! Link is in bio :) Visuals by @zenlocc 💙 #wildside #musicvideo #brilane

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Want to see me perform at the Oldport Festival? Vote for my song in this year's Sound Off Competition and let's make it happen!! Link is in bio. 😊 #soundoff2017 #brilane #music #contest

[themedicwhomeeps]

Learning

APOTHECARY'S PERSONAL LOG BEGIN AUDIO PLAYBACK I hardly know where to start at the moment. I suppose with people who are not me. Raiyden is coming along well enough in his fosterage ... but I am not putting him forward for Naming yet. While one does not have to have the Flames to pass one's fosterage, that ... is not why I don't think he's ready to be Named. Confidence is one thing; overconfidence is another. I think he expected everything to come easily, and when learning to channel the Flames the way I do did not ... it struck him deeply. If there is one thing that I know about being Marran, it is that things seldom if ever come easy. I think he needs to work past that frustration with himself at least a little before being Named. I don't expect him to expect to fail - just that it is not a reflection on him if he does not succeed without struggle within the first five minutes. I don't imagine it will be long, but ... not yet. Ozakif ... I have not seen him since he left for 'someplace more comfortable'. He has been on comms, but apparently 'someplace comforting' turned into Nar Shaddaa. There have been so many conversations about what to do about Ozakif in terms of him having asked to be my padawan, and the longer he stays away, the more I think he is not ... he does not really want to be Jedi. He is a marine. There is nothing wrong with that. He says he wants to learn to be a Jedi because he has this gift and owes it to the galaxy or similar. But Sedryn said the same thing and in the end ... the Order did not make him happy. Perhaps that's a conversation I will have with him when he comes back. ...If he does. Despite all this, Arbiter Nyomi says that I seem to be a good teacher. Or maybe because of it. Honestly, I don't know. I would have to ask Kell and Mae. Though Mae might be biased. Actually, so might Kell. I believe his exact words were, "You have done so much for my family today". That was about two days ago now, and that day was ... nerf, that is not a day I wish to repeat. Mostly because I ended up infiltrating a Hapanii palace - the Hapani system, where they truly dislike Force-users and aliens and my species is both, more or less by evolutionary necessity. Apparently some of those lessons on bluffing in sabacc actually stuck with me, at least. Then, of course, there was dealing with the one problematic element (I was a little busy with patient care at the time but it seemed to have been about someone who was passed over as unimportant even by the standards of Hapani males because he, like Raiyden, prefers the romantic company of his own gender) and ... on a world where they do not like Force-users, I used the Force to heal one of their royals, who had been being slowly poisoned for months. Poor woman. As it stands, perhaps this will be a tentative olive branch towards Force-users, particularly considering Lyrinel and Anirel's family background. The Marran, at least, are considered allies to that particular royal family. Then we returned to the Talon and Lyrinel went into labour. I was in the immediate vicinity, so I oversaw childbirth for the first time. With twins, no less. Hence Kell saying that I had done so much for his family. I would have done the same for anyone, and I think he knows that, but ... well, in any case. I also think I may have made Rilus a little nervous when mentioning just on a theoretical level the issue with my own ability to bear children ... well, lack thereof, anyway. Oddly, Master Sortek kept saying that there may be ways to overcome the damage the nutritional deficiency I apparently suffered in my formative years did to my capacity to conceive a child, and then in nearly the same breath told me I should not consider it. Because, of course, I am a Jedi. I am also too young to consider such a thing, but sometimes looking at it on the theoretical level is not precisely a bad thing. Besides ... having heard Sedryn's view on it - that he wants to be there to protect his family, and not potentially deprive his son of a father in his formative years through endless campaigns and potential death - I don't think the two are necessarily mutually exclusive. Being Jedi - or at least Marran - and having children, that is. For me, I think it would be more ... trying to make a galaxy in which my child could grow up safe and happy. This is not that galaxy; not yet. I would do my best to make it so, just as I do now. Just ... for a less abstract purpose. Still, too young, too Jedi and far too soon. Rilus and I have only just begun cohabiting. Actually speaking of children beyond the theoretical would be silly. I do hope he knows my tendency to consider things in the abstract just for the sake of it. There was a definite thread of 'panic' when he left medbay after the twins were born.