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notes forgotten #052021

Don’t mind me, just reliving every interaction we’ve ever had and thinking about how I let my potential soulmate marry another man and even though you sent me a playlist that all but spelled out that you still think of me often (in the way a married woman might be admonished for thinking of a man who is not her current husband) and we may always wonder what might have been if I gave us a real shot at a lasting relationship alas the past can’t be undone and our lives are moving on in separate directions, with different people, who are very good to us that we love so much and would never want to hurt (again) but that doesn’t stop us from wondering ‘what if…’

What if I had told you exactly how you made me feel? What if I had shared exactly how much of our futures I could see in the gap at the corner of the lopsided grin you let slide across your face whenever you felt most comfortable in your skin? What if I hadn’t been so scared of my own pain that I made even the slightest effort to heal and, in so doing, find myself free to give as much of me to you as you could hold? What if the bravery I summoned to tell you I could love you and let you go was the same bravery I needed to tell you I didn’t want to let you go at all? What if I wasn’t so selfish? What if I wasn’t so stingy with my love? What if I had more than excuses and disappointments to offer for the years of wasted time I’ve accrued in your life?

They say if you love someone, let them go. And if they come back, they are yours to keep…

Sure, maybe.

What if I came back to you?

#mywords #love lost #missed connections #georgia #emily king #brooklyn summers #Spotify