The future was still completely and utterly confusing to Bucky. It didn’t help the fact that despite living in the world’s most advanced city, he decided to stay on the outskirts of that city and not fully engage with the wonders of Wakanda. He had used that time to heal instead, willingly sitting and letting his brain be pulled apart like dough once again but this time it was to put him back together instead of pulling him apart. Now is no different, confusion still swimming around his head. He’d been gone for upwards of five years so the entire infinity stone saga truly flew right over his head even if Steve explained it to him ten times over. With a confusing explanation of why Steve has to go back in time to return the stones, Bucky’s world was once turned on his head.
The man had returned very differently from returning the stones, a living Natasha in toe but returned to a body that Bucky never thought he’d see again. Steve’s body was once again frail, with an explanation already on his tongue. He’d given up ‘Captain America’ -- a soul for a soul. There’s a whole carousel of emotions that begin in Bucky’s head. A frantic panic of ‘dear god he’s tiny again I will crush him if I ever touch him again’ and a funny sort of comfort washing over his entire being because it reminds him of fonder days -- good days. Once Bucky gets over the initial shock of seeing Steve 90 pounds again, this truly all makes sense. Steve’s always the one to make a big sacrifice, to risk his life uncaring about what happens to him if it means he can protect someone he loves. For a moment, Bucky is selfish. He’s angry that Steve did such a thing without even thinking to tell him, because what if it had just been Natasha to return. The corpse of Steve laying at the bottom of a cold mountain and Bucky would have unknowingly said goodbye -- abandoned in the confusing future that he can barely navigate on his own.
Even with the conformation from Shuri that Steve won’t die at the drop of hat like in the 40′s that doesn’t mean Steve isn’t breakable. Bucky had developed a touch aversion from just about everyone that wasn’t Steve, he didn’t want to touch of be touched. But even now that had changed, with Bucky’s superhuman strength and Steve’s new fragile stature, he refrains from touching his best friend. That’s hard when he’s just woken up from a dizzyingly terrifying nightmare. Sweat is gathered on his brow and he pushes up out of bed. Normally, Bucky would find himself crawling into Steve’s bed -- looking for comfort but instead he lingers in the doorway of Steve’s bedroom for a moment. He watches the other’s small frame, the rise and fall of his form as he dozes. The urge to crawl into bed with other is strong, but he’s afraid now. He’s afraid of himself, afraid he’d crush the fragile bones and the sweet soul of Steve Rogers. So he hangs his head, pulling the door behind him as he leaves dragging his feet on the floor as if he’s made of lead and his body refuses to do as it’s told.
Instead makes his way to the kitchen to occupy himself. He opens up the fridge door, they share a house near the Avenger’s compound, and because of that they always have food stocked to the brim.. but nothing sounds good in this moment. The idea of food makes his stomach feel sour so he stands vacantly in the dull light of the fridge waiting for something to magically change -- to suddenly feel better.
