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kissing in the bathroom — chuuya
⋆⭒˚｡⋆ "i hope nobody catch us." 𖤐 chuuya nakahara x reader
sneaking off to the bathrooms at a party with chuuya because he couldn't get enough, and neither could you.
m.list // now playing
[ a/n ; woah guys can you guess who finally wrote something other than yandere.. anyway,, new layout ?! ]
[ warning ; suggestive? they just kissin ]
chuuya pulled your hand through the crowd. at this point, whoever's party you were at was irrelevant now. what mattered right now was whatever your boyfriend was up to.
before you could assume that he was taking his leave and bringing you with, the bathroom door shut behind the both of you. chuuya automatically lifted you up to the bathroom countertops. "aren't we leaving?"
"we are," you sat up on the porcelain counter while chuuya put a hand on your thigh, and another on your shoulder. "we'll leave after this, i just needed you for a sec."
you nodded with a smile, watching him pull your shoulder in to kiss you. the party was boring anyway. despite the music being as loud as possible, the bathroom walls seemed to muffle everything. you could still hear the song playing, but it wasn't an issue.
chuuya pulled away to whisper. "can i tell you a secret?" he didn't wait for your answer, and instead, looked down and squeezed your thigh that he grabbed earlier. "i've been wanting to kiss you all night."
a small giggle escaped from your lips. "do it again, then." and so chuuya did. you could hear your heartbeat in your ear when he moved his hand from your shoulder down to your back, and he moved closer.
his lips were soft, and his ungloved hand at your thigh was cold compared to the warmth you felt in your chest. it wasn't the first time you got to kiss chuuya, and it definitely wasn't the last time, either.
you stopped for a moment, taking your lips off his. "isn't it rude to kiss in someone else's bathroom?" chuuya only replied, "maybe, but i'm kissing you. it should be some kind of exception."
the air wasn't hot like it was in the main room - the air conditioner did it's job pretty well in the bathroom, so why did you feel all hot? the warmth that pooled in your face accompanied a deep pink blush coating your cheeks.
"i hope nobody catch us." chuuya laughed a bit as you spoke, moving closer and pressing himself onto your body more. if only time could stop, and you could do this forever. "but i kinda hope they catch us." chuuya spoke before kissing you once more.
the kiss went on for a long time, it felt like. he didn't actually hope anyone would catch you guys.. but if they did, they would know that you're his.
hii lu <3 you said comfort requests are always open so I thought I’d request something since I really love your writing :)
how about dazai and akutagawa comforting or helping an s/o who’s having trouble with basic tasks (showering, eating, getting up, falling asleep) due to possible depression? like they’re drained and have no motivation to do anything anymore.
feel free to ignore this if you’d like! and as always, take care of yourself ily 💕
Aight, so because you said “possible”, I’m gonna go with undiagnosed depression. Sorry for the mix of HC and fic with this, but I figured that was the easiest way to do this request?
Comfort for (possible) depression | Dazai, Akutagawa x reader
Warnings: talks of depression references to self-harm
Dazai-
He notices right away. There is nothing he pays attention to more than you. After all, that’s what partners are for right? He sees you as his one and only, and that means he cares for your mental well-being.
He does however invade privacy, but he has his reasons. For one, he understands the pain. At first, you may notice how you're left with one razor and it’s a safety razor. That’s all you have to shave. Asking Dazai about it goes nowhere because he’s an excellent liar, so he convinces you he knows nothing. Slowly, you’ll notice medication start to be organized and the extras hidden in the back. He denies any knowledge, even if it makes you skeptical.
He knows, and damn does it hurt him to see you slowly start to stop caring. The lack of self-hygiene, the way he had to ask you when your last shower was. He misses your fun-filled nights, he really does. Yet here he is stuck. He doesn't want to be too clingy, too pushy, or overprotective, because losing you would be the end of him.
But god, does he know what you're going through, yet you don’t talk about it. You just keep struggling. He watches every day as more simple tasks become difficult and meaningless. Brushing your hair, keeping your room tidy, making the bed, and even just walking away from the sofa.
When it gets really bad, like bad enough that you just won’t get out of bed, when you stop eating unless you really feel the need to. He steps in more than he thought he should. He was waiting, waiting for you to come to him. Yeah, it stung that you didn’t talk about it, but he also understood the pressure of putting something like this on another's shoulders.
He won’t leave till you tell him. Even if it’s “I haven't been feeling upbeat lately.” “I don't know, I'm just sad.” If anything like that comes from your mouth, he’ll nod and try to press for more.
Then he starts taking care of you. His first part is getting you back to three meals a day.
The next deal is fixing the sleep schedule, what he suspects as undiagnosed depression, destroyed.
When you get some normality back, he will, even if you don’t want it, pick you up and drag you around the house until you start doing it yourself.
Don’t worry, take your time, cause Lord does he understand how hard it is some days to get out of bed.
He checks though, that’s the one thing you don’t get a say in. His hands will touch your skin, and he knows how he used to get away with it. Small cuts on the legs or in places nobody would normally look. He looks there just to make sure you aren't doing what he did to himself.
He loves you, he won’t let you forget that because he smothers you with morning kisses, sloppy and affectionate. And at night, he covers your hands and cheeks in tired goodnight pecks.
Every meal, whether it's frozen or ordered, is given to you with affection.
He's patient, he’s willing to wait until you start doing daily chores on your own. Small things like bathing without being asked. He’ll smile when he sees how your eye bags start to get lighter, and your complexion gets closer to being how it was.
One day he hopes whatever put you in such a bad place will come out, and he’ll be the one holding you in his arms and whispering how everything is alright.
Akutagawa-
It takes a while for him to notice. He mostly notices when you stop doing work.
Then he’ll take into account how tired and worn out you are.
He’s not affectionate, and it’s something you knew about him, so seeing him pamper you with questions is always striking.
When you're alone, he can be more touchy and open, but he’s always so cold. Seeing him ask so many questions that you can’t keep up with may not be the best for you, but it shows you he cares.
When he does slow down, he only goes over the most important questions. He asks if you’re feeling well. Ask if you're stressed, or need a break.
Being the way he is, depression isn’t something he auto recognizes, so while he stands there every morning watching you do less and less, he researches it.
When he finds you may be suffering from something that couldn’t be seen on the outside without careful observation, he starts making it very clear how much he loves you.
He doesn't understand it enough to sympathize completely, but he understands you're not happy.
Being the kind of person he is, he automatically thinks it was somebody who did this. He may be right, but he stays silent for your sake.
He’s there for you to rant to. If you ever break down, he’s ready for you. You’ve seen him get worked up once, maybe twice, and you never left him, so he’d be returning the gesture.
He also insists you attend therapy and get diagnosed. He does not care if you don’t want to, because very clearly you need to talk to somebody, and he heard therapy actually helps people cope. He’d rather you not hurt yourself or use… work’s mafia activities to cope
Tag list: (if you wish to be added, shoot me an ask or comment on a post) @jadegreenimmortality
Yayy! Requests from one of my fave writers are open💕💕💕
Soo, I’ve had this fic idea for quite some time in my mind and it could be interesting. I would love to see a Dazai x Fem!Reader where the reader is a new member of the agency and have been work partners for quite some time with Dazai. The reader feels insecure because Dazai doesn't do his usual flirty stuff to her, but that's only because Dazai doesn't know how to deal with the feeling of real love, and one day, they have a painful talk about it (which starts with the reader confronting him about this when he asks what’s wrong, maybe?)- I would love for this to go from angst to fluff, thank you so much 💔💕
Awwww! I'm a favorite writer of yours! Thank you for such a generous compliment!
My belladonna |Dazai x Female Reader|
Warnings: dazai’s typical thoughts, long fic
Words: 2,385
I worked hard on this one, so I hope you like it. The fluff does take a bit but I assure you the fluff at the end is worth the angst!
Love, a humane concept many never give a second thought towards. What is love exactly? Is it the feeling of being happy which is caused by another? Then what separates love from a deep underlying friendship? Is it the fluttering tightness in your chest? Could it be the sweat and discomfort that forms near somebody you supposedly love? Was love only something a sane person who understands the meaning behind being human can feel and understand? Love raises so many questions it’s better to ignore all contact, to avoid anything that could lead to falling deeper.
Dazai had never put so much of his mind's capabilities onto a feeling before. He’d never wondered what love meant. His eyes stared off beyond the clouds as he thought about his recent missions with her. She was always so different from the other women he knew or had met over the years. The way she made her presence known in the room, or how her body seemed to be the last thing he noticed. That was important, at least when looking at Dazai. Dazai was not a man of the gentlemen variety. He actually rather impolite, some could say disgusting. He was, after all, a womanizer. It was no unknown fact he slept around, flirted, and even treated women with disrespect. Yet here she was, the newest member of the agency, his current partner. He could hardly glance her way without being star-struck. His eyes would nearly reflect the look of a teenage boy lost in a fantasy. He imagined what her voice would sound like, saying I love you, thank you, you're welcome. He imagined what goodbye embraces and welcome back embraces would feel like. Imagined her kindness, pointed and focused on him. All of this made him confused, he’d never been here before. Nobody in all his miserable years had ever strayed his thoughts to such territory. To avoid confronting the feelings that may or may not spook him, he ignored her. He treated her like he would any other co-worker. He never once asked her his questions of the suicidal manor. He never once flirted with her, he hardly talked to her.
You grew to notice these things over time. The way he avoided you; like you were some disaster waiting to happen. The way he flirted with almost every other woman besides you. Every time you worked by his side, the pain only increased. The thud of your own heart kept you from falling over the pain. Every time he glanced another's way, felt like another dagger stabbed to your side. Thoughts of what if’s eventually circled within your head. Asking yourself if you had done something to insult him. Even his coworkers couldn’t give you a solid answer to Dazai’s behavior. No matter what you did for him, he never seemed to show an ounce of care in your direction. He didn’t touch the gifts you gave him, no matter what they were. Even if they were tips on his little obsession with suicide, he ignored them. He couldn’t face you in person either. Unless you worked together, he hardly spoke to you.
Like any sane person, you couldn’t handle it anymore. A confrontation was called for.
~
Beneath the moonlight, as the hours of the agency closed and Dazai stayed behind, you fell back to have privacy with him. Even as the others left and bid you good luck with confronting him, you stayed put. It wasn’t that Dazai stayed late to work, he stayed late to make sure everything was alright with the agency, and to grab any leftover coffee/food from the day. He hadn’t expected to run into you as he attempted to leave with a few bags of collected things, stolen things. The moonlight glimmered against your reflection, illuminating your every feature. His eyes instantly darted from you to the door. Unsure how to respond, he let the atmosphere settle in, despite the awkwardness. “We need to talk.” Your voice despite the slight aggravation was more than angelic to him.
Putting on a smile, he raised a brow to play off the thudding pound of his heart. “Oh? We do, did something come up?” he sounded almost nervous, but he masked it enough to hide it from you.
Another silence folded over the two. With every moment, Dazai became less and less comfortable. Being in her presence was enough to send his mind whirling with confusing thoughts again. Her own nerves were starting to act up. Having to hold her hands behind her back as she fidgeted. Within the dimly lit room, illuminated by a few lights and the moon, they stood. Neither of them spoke, afraid of what came after the silence.
That was until your voice picked up from the silence. Shattering it with a soft echo. Speaking with a meek voice, you asked Dazai about his recent behavior with you. “Do you hate me?” The words slipped with ease, but hurt to speak. Afraid, he'll choke on his answer and tell you that you had done something to harm his ego, or that he didn’t find you interesting.
Dazai’s hands slid into his pockets, clenching together tightly. “No, why would you think I hate you?” he spoke clearly with no hint of nervous hesitation or lies. Yet, you could not believe him. Within his body language, the lack of eye contact, the unsure tilt of the head, the slip of his hands to his pockets, it all told you he was hiding something.
Exhaling as calmly as you could to calm your nervous chatter, you spoke up again. “Look at me then.” You hissed the words, your own eyes darting to look away from him.
Dazai froze before his head slowly shook. “I can’t,” he mumbled. His voice losing the usual confident, cocky tone as he spoke. There was no childish intent, no cocky extent, no humor to his voice. It was bland with nervous fear.
“Because you don’t like me.” Saying the words out loud made the knives that struck through turn into poisonous bullets. Each word, each realization had the initial sting of a bullet, but left a thudding emptiness, the poison.
“I don't,” he whispered. Though his voice cracked in a waiver. His breathing unsteady to match your own rapid breaths. His heart pounded with a fear he’d never felt before. His heart, his mind, it was still too confusing. He didn’t understand, couldn’t comprehend this feeling.
“Yes, you do! You treat every other woman the same! I wouldn’t mind if you just… if you just didn’t flirt, but you… you won’t even look at me!” with every pause and stutter, the pain grew. With every pause, your voice picked up. The ocean of emotion you had left untouched and sealed, starting to unravel and make sense.
“... I…” Dazai had no reply to your words. His head screamed at him to reach out and grab hold of you. To drop down and do as he always did. Another half of him told him to pull something else. To pull out a gift and woo you with flowers and soft praises. He didn’t understand how to truly appreciate this feeling or how to acknowledge it. He wants so much revolving around you, but he didn’t know what to do. Not even his words could form a snarky comeback or an excuse. He couldn’t pull the usual words like, you’re just too stunning to look at.
Watching his silence, and the only word he spit be a single vowel, you shook your head. The emotional fire within your chest letting go. You turned towards the door rather dramatically. Your hand grasping the handle in a swift motion. “You’re a selfish bastard Dazai. You’re a selfish bastard. Letting women fall in love only to rip their hearts from their chests. I knew you were one of those men, yet I still… I still gave it to you.” Dropping the anger and the loudness of your voice you spoke softly. With slight drips of venom being used to cover the pain consuming you.
He watched her pull the door open in one single movement. His eyes traced her movements as the door slammed. The words she spoke took what felt like millennia to make sense. He kept trying to make sense of her words, he didn’t understand any of them. He couldn’t until he took into thought his own heart. He stopped trying to make sense, and rather let his heart make sense of it. Understanding human emotions, understanding what made humans… Well, humans, was never his forte. Not a second later, his eyes shot wide and his lips parted with shock. A new thought he’d never understand crossing his restless mind. “Why, why would she love me?” he shook away the thought, reaching for the handle of the door and flinging it open. Never in his life had he been the one doing the chase, yet here he was doing just that. His feet carried him down the stairs and out of the building. The slow patter of the rain provides a dramatic splatter when his feet hit the cold cement. His breaths formed white puffs of air as he skidded to a stop. Thinking back to missions, recalling the sentences he’d tried to ignore. The things about her he tried to ignore. The invitations to walk. The way she came up behind him, trying to interact while he ignored her. Without having to recall much, his feet swerved to the left and ran. His feet slid here and there over the slippery gravel, the mud, and sharp turns. His gut led him instead of his mind. For once, he was trusting his instincts. The park his heart shouted. The first time he’d truly fallen for her, the smile she gave him on her first day. It was love at first sight. Love, admitting it was really such a humane feeling was terrifying. Yes, he’d always wanted to understand humanity, but starting with something that could end in flames or bliss... was no more terrifying than standing over the ledge of a cliff.
As your feet came to a sudden halt, you found yourself at the park. Remembering the way he looked and acted when you first joined brought more water to gather along with the rain. Slipping down onto the bench, covered with the sky's tears, you curled your legs into your chest. Burying your face into your knees, you swore to yourself this wouldn’t happen again. You had been a fool, hadn't you? A fool to love a man like Dazai. Somebody obsessed with suicide and willing to flirt with every woman his eyes caught. Slowly, the rain began to pick up its pace. The moon reflected in puddles where the mud could no longer soak up its water.
He searched the area for a while despite the quickening pace of the rain. As his eyes settled against your drenched form, the way you cuddled against yourself, his heart cracked. His arms slipped from his jacket despite it being somewhat wet. While he was nervous, he snuck up behind you and rested his coat on your shoulders. He took a seat at the other end of the bench. Pulling his knees to his chest, he decided to finally share why he’d been so distant and a jerk towards you. “I was scared. I ignored, avoided, and pretended to not notice you because I was afraid.” Your glance was doubtful, after all, when was he ever scared of something? “Doubting me? I get why, I'm never scared, that's what you think right?" there was a small nod from your head, but it caused him to sigh. “I do get scared, emotions scare me. Feeling human, it’s what I want, I want to understand what it is to be human, but starting out with this… it’s terrifying.” Watching as you didn’t respond but look away, he let out a frustrated groan.
“Just, leave me alone Dazai.” Your whispers hurt. The pain reflected in your words hurt more than any wound he’d ever found himself inflicted with. He hated pain and suffering, and that’s what this was.
“I can’t, I won’t not anymore. I… fuck, I don’t understand it. I don’t… it’s hard to admit things like this belladonna… I fell in love. I don’t know how to deal with whatever this is!” His words came rushed and panicked. His hands found their way into his hair, tangling with the drenched locks. Thunder thudded softly in the sky as lightning crackled.
Your hand reached your eyes as you shook your head. “Please, please stop it. Don’t call me that! You don’t mean it. Stop trying to just make yourself feel better.” You whispered the words again until he forcefully brought your head to meet his chest. He held you tightly, running his hand over your back as he rocked back and forth.
“I’m not lying, not playing games. You’re amazing in every way possible. I still can’t understand why you'd like me.” Dazai whispered the words next to your ear. Holding you within the rain until your body stopped its trembles. What you did next shocked him more than any action that went outside his predictions did. Your lips planted themselves on his. At first, it seemed you were unsure about this. He didn’t kiss back at first, when he made his mind up, it was too late. You had pulled away ready to collect excuses. Before your lips could part with said excuses, his hands moved and cupped your face. His lips came crashing down on yours. He’d never felt this before, a spark, a real feeling in a kiss. When the two of you needed air, he moved away with a slight smile. “We should… get out of the rain before we both catch a cold.”
Blushing you tugged on the fabric of his clothes, telling him to lift you. “Yeah, we should, Kunikida would kill us both if we get sick.” You chuckled lightly, sniffling as Dazai lifted you into his arms.
“Remind me where your place is again?” with a snicker, you told him the address and allowed yourself to drift off to sleep while he carried you. “I love you, belladonna.”
Sweets
Pt 4 of Red; Blood and Love | Dazai x reader
Part one here
previous part here
masterlist here
Dragging a small child through the morning was surprisingly more difficult than expected. Even as the rays of sun covered the sky and the hours ticked, the small child didn’t appear to budge. Though they were up since about six, they were too engrossed in playing with the toys that had been packed in the bag. Dazai wasn’t complaining, of course, he didn’t want to attend work. He would still be paid either way, considering he was babysitting this child as a job. Eventually, his phone started going off, now an hour late for work.
He didn’t bother answering it, knowing it was Kunikida. His feet dragged across the carpet until he was in front of the small child and their toys. Many looked to be from an older version of a child's nurse set. The toy bandages and other assorted tools sprawled out over the floor while a babydoll lay in the child's lap. “Alright, It’s time to go now. We have much to do if we’re going to annoy Kunikida-Kun all day!” The child looked up from their toys before sticking out their tongue. “Don’t you want to play pranks on people?” Dazai put his hands together, giving them his best puppy-dog face.
The child rolled their eyes standing up as they crossed their arms. “You're more of a kid than I am! Big baby!” Dazai snickered, rolling his eyes as he flicked their forehead, extending a hand to the child. He grabbed a packed bag of toys, coloring books, and crayons... in case they would need amusement, other than helping him bother his co-workers. “Mr. Dazai… why do you wear bandages all over?” The innocent question hit him with full force, a heavy smile lifting his lips.
“It’s a fashion statement! Don’t I look fabulous!” Dazai dodged the question easily. He was used to avoiding that subject anyways, so tricking a child shouldn't be too difficult.
“You look like a mummy, not fabulous!” The child stuck their tongue out once more as they began skipping forward, dragging Dazai from the house and down the elevator. They continued to pull him until the pair reached the outdoors where Dazai picked them up and walked them through the streets to the agency. A nice 20-minute walk.
When they arrived, Dazai pushed open the door with a smile. Waltzing in late, as he normally did. The moment he sat the child down on the couch, Kunikida was grabbing his collar. The child’s response to this should have been something Dazai calculated, perhaps the thought hadn’t passed his mind when they chatted about their drawing this morning. The child’s eyes seemed to cloud small tears pricking in their eyes as they whimpered. Making hands towards Dazai. Kunikida released Dazai just before the brunette’s eyes widened. He dropped down very slowly, reaching towards the small child. “Hey, you alright? Did big meanie Kunikida frighten you?” Their head bobbed up and down as Dazai brought them into an embrace. He’d forgotten children were sensitive, they felt emotions at a high. Had they thought Dazai would be hurt? Kunikida was strict, but he wasn’t going to truly hurt Dazai. Though they were a child, they probably didn’t understand the difference between aggravated and… cruel.
The child calmed down rather fast but glued themselves onto Dazai, refusing to leave his side. A bonus to him when he couldn’t do any work. “Are we gonna do something fun?” Dazai glanced down at the child playing with little building blocks. His eyes glanced over to Kunikida wickedly.
“How about we get the big meanie back for scaring you?” the child tilted their head with a brow raising.
“We're allowed to do that? Won’t he try and hurt you again?” Dazai ran a hand through their hair as he smiled.
“Kunikida doesn't hurt people. He may get a bit aggressive, but he’s not going to hurt anybody, especially not some adorable child like you!” Dazai paid close attention to the child's eyes. A smile over his lips as they lit up and their head followed the growing excitement with nods.
They got to work on quickly planning childish pranks. Things like whoopie cushions on his seat, putting salt instead of sugar in his coffee, and of course, Dazai followed with his ridiculous health rumors. Each time Kunikida fell for one of the many tricks Dazai relished in the gleeful giggles escaping from Y/n’s lips. Their face shrouded in joy appeared more angelic than rays of light. Dazai found himself smiling with each small reaction of joy the child showed. Those smiles didn’t go unnoticed by the agency members, nor did the way his voice lowered and softened whenever he addressed them. “I thought of something else we could do Y/n! Do you have a favorite sweet?” It was an honest question with a second thought to it. He wondered if Ranpo would go with them to go for sweets. Getting Y/n introduced to the other agency members would be a fine idea since he didn’t know how long they would be a child for.
As if they had been asked about something extremely personal the child froze up puffing their bottom lip out. “I’m not allowed to eat sweets…” Dazai blinked before a smirk coated his lips.
“Well, I'm in charge right now and I say we go to a candy store!” the child nodded, bolting to their feet as Dazai pulled out a wallet. It wasn’t his, but the child’s wallet. He might as well use their money for this, it’s not like he had much to spare anyways, meanwhile, they had loads of money to spare.
“Okay!” The child grabbed onto Dazai as the male pocketed the wallet. Walking to Ranpo, he invited the other detective to go along with them.
When they arrived, Dazai let go of their hand, letting them be free within the store. Still, they didn’t go far from Dazai. “Well, what do you want?” the small human only shrugged as they looked around, unsure of what to get.
“What tastes the best?” Y/n tilted their head up to look at Dazai. Expecting to hear an answer from Dazai, but found a bunch of snacks dropped into a basket and handed to them.
“Hmm well, I recommend these. Some are bitter, others sower, while some are immaculately sweet. This way you can get a feel for what you like the best! You better eat them quickly or I'll eat them for you.” Ranpo held his basket full of snacks, much larger than the basket he’d handed the child.
“Ranpo! This is too much for a little kid, don’t you think? I don’t exactly want to deal with a hyperactive child stacked on sugar!” Dazai whined as he took the basket, ready to sort out a few items until his eyes caught the worst weapon in a child's arsenal. The puppy-dog eyes with added tears and a wobbling lip.
“Ah good job Dazai, they’ll cry now!” Ranpo played along seemingly unaffected by the performance the tiny human was putting on.
“No, no crying! Alright, you can have all of them okay? Just please don’t cry!” Dazai waved his hands after dropping the basket in front of the child. When the answer slipped over his lips, he couldn’t help but feel betrayed when they were suddenly completely okay. Happily skipping to the counter as Dazai followed. “Children are deceiving little demons!” Dazai pouted, handing over the credit card, and somehow ending up paying for both Ranpo and Y/n.
On the way back, Dazai was made to carry both baskets while the two walked ahead of him and chatted about the candy they were currently eating. “I like this one! It had a fruity sour flavor, but it’s also really sweet!”
“The flavor is called green apple!” Ranpo hummed while sucking on his lollipop.
“Huh? But it doesn’t taste like an apple?”
“Well, that’s because it’s candy silly! It’s artificially flavored, so of course, it won’t taste the same as an apple.” Y/n nodded, starting to chew on the lollipop. “Don’t do that! You got to savor the sweet tastes!” Y/n nodded, going back to licking at the treat.
Dazai snickered, his head swaying softly to the side as he watched the two in front of him. Lately, he was starting to feel lighter. Ever since this morning, he didn’t feel as exhausted as he normally did, even his eyes held a bit more light to them.
Upon returning to the agency, Dazai figured he’d introduce them to Atsushi next. He always seemed the type to like children. He had to do some actual work even if he didn’t want to… otherwise, it would pile up far too high even if Atsushi did 99% of his work. Reports on his current job couldn’t really be done by Atsushi. “Oh, Atsushi-kun~!” Dazai hummed summoning the were-tiger.
Atsushi was there within a few seconds, a smile over his lips. Dazai took advantage of this shoving the basket of sweets in Atsushi's direction. “Y/n, why don’t you tell Atsushi all about the snacks you bought? I have to do some work, but I’m sure Atsushi would love to play dress up and play pretend with you!” Atsushi dropped his shoulders as an audible sigh left his lip before he nodded. He waited for Y/n to nod and start walking off to the sitting area. Their hands dug through the various candies to pull a few more snacks out. As Dazai had expected, Atsushi was a natural with keeping the little one entertained. Easily talking about things that they would understand. Even helping them get an idea of what they were eating. Dazai was able to write a few sentences. Though reports were supposed to be longer, this was Dazai, a man who didn’t do much to start with. Just getting him to submit something was an accomplishment in itself.
The light that had filled the agency soon began to fade, but the child's energy seemed to just be picking up. The snacks they had bought sat within the basket with around ⅓ missing already. The child jumped up and down.
Taking an overly hyper child back with him was a painful experience. They continued to run ahead of him, making Dazai run right after them. Perhaps he should invest in a child leash. Those weird backpacks came in helpful for people most of the time, right? Lost in thought, he almost lost sight of the small child. He panicked for a moment before spotting them on the ground looking up at a rather sketchy man. Dazai quickly swooped in to lift the child in his arms. He’d almost forgotten the mini human in his arms was a child version of a mafia executive, not exactly somebody who doesn’t have enemies. “I apologize, they can get a bit hyper after having so much sugar. I tried to tell my… friend not to give them sugar, but you know how kids are. They get into everything.” Dazai held the child close to him, watching the man carefully. Walking away knowing they would be followed.
“Ah, this is going to be such a bother!” Dazai grumbled as he continued to walk.
“I'm sorry…” Y/n mumbled with a yawn, it appeared they were coming down from their sugar high… pleasant. He was going to have to deal with a grumpy child while also trying to ditch being tailed.
“Ah, it’s not your fault you are such a popular little child!” Dazai hummed bopping their nose as they took random turns and rushed around back roads. It only took him ten minutes to lose the people tailing them. They arrived at the apartment without any other troubles. “Alright, off to the bath!”
“No… I don't wanna take a bath!” Dazai rolled his eyes, walking to the kitchen to find something quick, like instant ramen for dinner.
“I’ll add bubbles?” Dazai hummed, turning from the cabinet back to the child who puffed their cheeks out, but nodded.
“After dinner though.” Dazai nodded to the child who had run up to him. He messed with their hair before he began the lousy dinner.
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Care
Pt 3 of Red; Blood and Love | Dazai x reader
Part one here
previous part here
The day clicked by, most of it seemed to be spent in peace. Though, the cries of a child tended to spring out here and there. Each time the brunette sprung to his feet with grumbles. The agency members took surprise into their eyes each time he stood up to take care of the small child. With the last glimmering shreds of daylight, Dazai stretched his arms, pressing his palms to his eyes with a hum. The light would fade within half an hour, Dazai’s signal to leave Kunikida with closing up for the night.
Dazai picked the child up into his arms, his hands carrying them softly with his grip. “You’re holding them wrong.” Dazai turned to see Yosano with her bag slung over her shoulders.
Carefully setting down the bag, no doubt full of medical supplies, she walked over to the male. Yosano took them from his arms to show him how to properly hold a child this size. “You have to support them from underneath as well. If you’re going to hold them to your shoulder so closely, you can simply carry them by the waist. Otherwise, they'll fall to the ground and get hurt.” Dazai nodded his head, holding out his arms to take the small child in his arms again. Carefully, he copied what he had observed. “Dazai, if you need any help with this, either Kunikida or I will be there, especially if you go through an… episode.” Dazai smiled, trying his best to reassure Yosano that everything was alright.
The skies, beginning to dip away from the vibrant reds and oranges, settling into the depth of the night sky seemed heavy. The clouds that had begun rolling in laid darker, leaving a sense of weight and a smell of sorrow through the air. “Ah, look, it appears it may rain today.” Dazai chuckled, looking at the little one hidden inside his coat. The coat his friend had given him, a coat he’d never part with. “It was a day like this when I found you… Ah, but you don’t remember that in your tiny baby brain.” Dazai leaned his head down simply to nuzzle his nose in their hair. “Let us hurry so we don’t get caught in the storm.” With that, Dazai’s pace picked up, the child laying their head on his shoulder with a giggle.
Now, the apartment they ended up at wasn’t Dazai’s. It belonged to Y/n, in a reserved part of the city. Dazai wouldn’t call it a penthouse, it was nowhere near the extravagant glimmers as Chuuya’s residence. Their home was located on the top floor, taking up close to 2 thirds, but only a single floor, unlike Chuuya’s two floors. They didn’t decorate nearly as extravagantly either, keeping things to a lower extremity. Though it still shouted they had money to spare. Dazai shifted the child in his arms to unlock the door and slide in. He would change the lock or find a spare key until this was all over. Setting the tiny human on the couch, he began to look around.
The last time he’d set foot in here had been the day he defected. That would make it four years since he saw the place. While things looked almost like they had in the past, he noticed the silver and gold marbleized counters he’d been a fan of were gone, replaced with black and silver. The cabinets didn’t look too different, still the same oddly bleached wood he’d never liked. The flooring was tiled now, no longer sitting as plain wood. They even switched out the carpets he’d loved to lay on when he didn’t want to head to work.
The child was most likely playing with the toys provided for them, so Dazai continued to explore the halls. Each picture that had once hung had gone missing. The only pictures that remained hanging were pictures of themself or a photo taken with Chuuya. There were very few pictures from back then, years had seemingly disappeared from the series of portraits. His hand reached out to trace the walls, fingers gliding over newly painted colors until he reached the spare room. His hand reached to the knob, turning it, though it chatted and clung, the handle never twisted enough to open. Dazai frowned, taking out his trust pin from within his pocket. He went to place it within the keyhole, but found no space. “Oh? So you’ve thought that far ahead?” Dazai ran his hand through his hair.
It took him a few minutes to detach the metal from the delicate wood. His fingers carefully worked to take apart the pieces until he could swing the door open. His hand flipped on the light, taken aback by the accumulated dust. His lips pulled a chuckle as he stared at the room. No doubt in the same condition since he’d left it. Only now the guest room appeared much gloomier than he remembered. Walking to the closet, he chuckled again, seeing they had never gotten rid of anything. The rugs, pictures, even the countertops were all neatly placed within the confines of the closet. They had only locked everything away, tucked neatly into the past, left to gather dust and be forgotten. In a way that was worse than burning or selling the objects. He walked around the room for a bit longer looking for a specific picture.
He had to search around for a while before he looked beneath a pillow. Amusing, they had placed it in such an odd spot. The picture taken was between the two of them just before they met Chuuya. Their hair had been longer, eyes a little brighter. The ripped jeans they wore were mafia black, the studded choker a gift from him to them. The shirt they wore hung loosely over their torso. They leaned onto him with their tongue sticking out, a pink blush creeping over their cheeks. He stood there looking away from the camera. The bandage over his eye sat looser than he normally wore it while his jacket lay over their shoulders. He had always hated how he looked in this photo, but looking at it now… this was one of the better ones from his days in the mafia. He looked… at least in a small way, he didn’t look so dead inside. His lips were up in a small half-smile, and the eye that wasn’t covered held a tiny sparkle. When he was done observing the picture, he slid the frame under the pillow and split from the room.
Looking to where he had sat the child down, he was glad to see them curled into a ball. He scooped them up easily into his arms before transporting them to their room. He laid them in a chair, unsure where else to set them down. He made sure they had pillows at the base of the chair, just in case they rolled about. To finish his job, he laid a fuzzy blanket over them. He knew the blanket had been the one he wrapped around them ages ago. It seemed they hadn’t locked all of those items away. The thought gave his heart an extra beat. When the child was situated, he dropped onto their bed. Just as comfortable as he remembered it to be.
The morning sun spread through the room, making sleeping-in an impossible feat. Dazai sat up with a harsh glare to the ever so thin drapes. His eyes danced around the room until he found the alarm clock, it appeared it was only about six in the morning. The last time he dragged himself out of bed this early had been in the mafia. Those were the days when one or both of his work partners dragged him from his residence. His limbs almost collapsed back onto the bed before he noticed the heap of small human was no longer on the chair. Instead of flopping back to sleep, his limbs dragged his tired mind to the floor. Grumbling as he walked to the kitchen. “y/n? Small child, where did you run off to?”
“Stranger!” he looked about until he turned a corner, finding the child on all fours beneath the coffee table. It appeared they had already aged up, good. The less time this took, the better.
“Hm? But I'm no stranger! I’m looking after you.” The child rolled their eyes sticking out their tongue as they skidded back, going to sit up, but hitting their head against the table. They looked no older than 4, maybe 5?
The child began to leak a river of tears moving from under the table and holding their head. Dazai hated children, even more so when that child cried. If the child was injured, they needed ice. So he left them alone and looked for ice. There was none… no ice at all, not even cubes. There were however frozen peas. Grabbing that and a dishtowel, he placed it at the child's feet. Children could help themselves at this age, right? True to what he expected, their hands reached and placed the peas over their head. “Where did you get that onesie?” Dazai tilted his head admiring the loose bear onesie they were wearing.
“Bag.” The child puffed their cheeks out, still sniffling as they held the ice to their head. “Are mama and dada and sis on another trip?” the child blabbered on, some words sounding more mushed than others.
Just like that, Dazai had learned something new about them. They had a family once, and from the looks of the child… a not so inclusive one. “They did, so you get to be here and stay with me.” The child nodded, but not before tossing the peas at Dazai’s stomach and running off. Of course, they didn’t hurt Dazai, being a child, and all, but it still annoyed him. This child was nothing like the mafia executive he’d known. Most definitely they were a child who was in school.
They came back with a disappointed look and breathing heavily. “I wanna draw! I see no art!” Dazai tilted his head going through the bag until he found some crayons.
“Where would I hide the paper here…” Dazai trailed off before having a small thought appear over his mind. He looked to the side table by the chair the child had slept on the night before. Rummaging around with the lock, he opened the cabinet and pulled out paper. “Did they lock everything in here? Even locking paper, isn’t that a bit much?” his lips pursed as he turned around, greeted by the child's face. He was startled, having not heard the child's footsteps approach him. Their little hands snatched the stack of paper before they were running off again. Dazai followed behind them, keeping an eye on the little child.
“Make me pancakes!” The child climbed their way onto the chair without much effort, setting their drawing tools down as Dazai stood there staring. Of course, he’d need to cook… well they would have to bear with toast and butter then. He didn’t really eat breakfast to start with. Not to mention he quite literally was a bomb in the kitchen. Things tended to end up poisonous, catch fire, boil over, or explode.
“Well, dear Y/n, I don’t exactly cook.” Dazai opened the fridge, grabbing the carton of milk and checking it over for expiration before setting it on the table. He had no issue finding the coffee, making himself a cup as he fetched cereal boxes. “So you’ll have cereal today. Maybe later we can go out to eat.” The child didn’t argue back, nodding their head as they continued coloring. Dazai poured their food, sliding it to them. They ate all while drawing with the other hand.
Dazai took a seat next to them sipping on his coffee as the child alternated between colors. “What are you drawing?” Dazai’s head tilted, watching the child cover the blobs of color with their arms.
“Nothing!” They pushed away the remnants of their food before sliding down from the chair and running off again. Dazai rolled his eyes, taking his mug with him just about to follow them when he glanced at the dishes.
“Only this once,” he grumbled, dropping the dishes into the dishwasher. He ran after the child, finding them sitting at the coffee table drawing. “Can I please see what you're drawing? I'll draw with you if you do!” Y/n looked hesitant before letting Dazai see.
“This is mama, dada, and this is my sis. I’m only younger than her by a few minutes, but mama and dada say she’s better.'' The child held up the picture for Dazai, who took a piece of paper and began to draw.
“Well, that’s rude of them.” Dazai hummed though he didn’t feel bad for them, simply angered at the parents.
“Why? I really like the color and feeling of blood when somebody gets a booboo, so mama says I was cursed. Dada says I'm broken. Like when you have a doll and it tears, that kinda broken. It’s normal to be broken right? It’s just rare to be perfect like she is.” Dazai nearly snapped the crayon laying in his fingers.
“You’re a sweet little… kid. If you were really broken, you’d be really mean. Only mean people are broken and not meant for people like you. You’re kind and sweet.” The child giggled, grabbing another paper and scribbling with it as they babbled.
“When I go to school, I have two friends! They don’t like me very much, but you’re really nice Mr.! Are you a teacher?” Dazai snorted, shaking his head as he rested his crayon on the table.
“No, I'm simply Dazai, your babysitter.” He watched them with a small smile. Looking at the shapes they drew. “Who are you drawing now?”
“You! Because Mr. Dazai is better than my old babysitter! He lets me draw and talks to me! Later we can play stuffed animals, or dragons and knights! I’ll be the knight that slays you to save my beloved!” The child’s eyes sparkled with excitement. The innocence one has only while a child glimmering within their (e/c) hues.
“Well, you’ll have to go with me to work, but I'm sure we can play pranks on my coworkers.” They tapped their chin with a crayon before nodding.
Dazai felt he'd accomplished his job so far.
~
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Closer
Pt 6 of Red; Blood and Love | Dazai x reader
Part one here
previous part here
masterlist here
Dazai slowly lifted his body from the comfort of the bed. Grabbing his phone to silence the ringing. Seeing Kunikida pop up he almost declined to answer. Slowly, he groaned and answered the call. There was silence, most likely induced from the other end's shock when Dazai picked the phone up. “Good morning Kunikida-kun!” Dazai hummed trying to erase the sleep from his voice.
“Don’t tell me… you just woke up! It’s one in the afternoon Dazai!” Dazai glanced around at the clock blinking rapidly.
“Ah, my bad!” Dazai hummed before a grumble faded into his ears. Looking back, Dazai tilted his head, sighing. “Did I wake you?”
Y/n rubbed their eyes looking towards the brunette. “Nuh-uh, I’ve been awake for a bit… just sleepy.” Dazai smiled lightly, nodding his head.
“Oi, Don’t go dragging the kid into your bad habits, Dazai!” The brunette rolled his eyes. The kid probably didn’t want to bother him later into the night, a bad dream maybe? Either way, they ended up seeking comfort, he’d have enjoyed it if they woke him up. He couldn’t blame them for not trying to get his help though. Dazai slid from the room moving to the kitchen before his face went serious.
“They aged up again. I might not be in for a while, I’ll see if I can get them to go, but I doubt it. They are from an abusive home, so I can only imagine meeting new people is a bit complicated for them at the moment.” Dazai didn’t bother letting Kunikida reply, hanging up as the kid came out of the room dressed in suitable daily clothes. Dazai put a welcoming smile over his lips as he walked to the kitchen pulling out the cereal. “I’m not the best cook, so I hope cereal is alright.”
“It’s fine.” Dazai frowned with their small response as he sat down with bowls, milk, and cereal.
“How do you feel about going with me to work? All the people there are far better than I could ever be. There is a boy who’s also been through some pain comparable to your own. He’s a little older, but the two of you could be good friends.” Dazai watched them with a close eye, when they didn’t respond, he continued to wait for a while.
“Okay.” Once more, Dazai found himself sighing. It hurt to see them like this, for reasons he couldn’t explain. To imagine this had once been the person he knew was odd. He’d always known them as outgoing and kind, different from others.
“Alright, take your time eating.” The child stared at their bowl, slowly making the move to eat. Dazai encouraged it with a smile and nod. They took a hesitant bite before scarfing it all down.
~
The trek to the agency wasn’t as light-hearted as the past weeks had been. This version of Y/n was quiet, stuck to him like they had been glued to him. He led them to the agency doors and tried to see if they would do anything on their own, which they didn’t. Staying still and looking for guidance. Dazai smiled, trying to keep the bitterness from the smile. He ushered them towards the work area where everybody sat writing things down. Dazai took a seat at his desk before glancing at Kunikida. He was the only one to truly worry about, simply because he raised his voice often. “Dazai… Who’s everybody.” Dazai was pleased to answer, relieved they had said something longer than two words.
Dazai went along, pointing to each member giving them their names. “And that’s Atsushi, he’s the one I said could sympathize with you. Do you want to talk to him?” Y/n nodded their head, walking over to the male with nervous steps.
Approaching the white-haired male, they avoided eye contact with a small smile. “H-hi…” Atushi looked up from his work with a smile.
“Hello!” Atsushi waved his hand slowly. The agency had already been informed by Kunikida about the growth. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Y/n and I believe you're um Atsushi right?” Their eyes didn’t rise to meet the boys, but Atushi understood it wasn’t rudeness they showed.
“Yeah, that’s me.” It didn’t help much that he was awkward when meeting new people. Easily flustered and on the shyer side with most people.
“Dazai-san told me you and I would get along so um nice to meet you.” They glanced from the floor for a split second, their eyes glimmering with a slight hope at a friend.
“Ah yes! Uh, nice to meet you at Y/n-Chan!” Atsushi smiled, hoping to make the atmosphere more welcoming for the younger child. “D-do you have a favorite animal? Oh uh, you can pull a chair over to sit if you'd like!” Y/n cracked a small smile nodding as they dragged over a chair sitting down as they thought.
“I guess I really like any animal, as long as it isn’t violent.” Atsushi nodded, rummaging around his desk for a pencil.
“Ah well, I really like cats!” Y/n nodded watching his hands rummage around the papers scattered around the desk.
“Here,” they grabbed a pencil, barely sticking out from a paper, handing it to him.
“Oh, thank you!” Atsushi smiled, taking it from them as he began to mark things on a sheet of paper.
They sat in silence for a bit before Atsushi picked the conversation up again. They continued like this for the rest of the day, standing around one another and chatting, slowly allowing the child to feel surrounded by safe security.
The lights of the day dimmed down, spreading blankets of warmth about the sky. They stood watching the colors, a small smile over their lips. Dazai stood behind them, keeping still as to not startle the child in front of him. Something about the atmosphere had been growing dimmer with the passing day. “Just a bit longer…” Dazai glanced from the sky to the child, tilting his head slightly.
“Longer till what?” Dazai moved closer to the child leaning against the wall, no longer viewing the sky.
“Dazai-san, I’m several years ahead of where I should be, aren't I?” Dazai’s eyes flew wide, a skip in the beating of his heart.
“You’ve always been observant…”
“It’s you that gave it away. You act too familiar with me, knowing exactly how far to stand back. My older self is close to you, right?” Dazai sighed, shaking his head, his eyes trailing to the floor.
“No, we were, but not anymore… I did something for you in the future. I hurt them when I promised I'd never do such a thing.” Y/n’s eyes peeled from the sky to look at Dazai, the shrunken posture and the distant look in the eyes pained their heart.
“Can we go home? I’m tired, Dazai.” The brunette nodded his head, extending his hand out for the child who grasped it in their hand with a smile.
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Crumbling
Pt 11 of Red; Blood and Love | Dazai x reader
Part one here
previous part here
masterlist here
The bars' dimly lit surroundings settled on their figures. Just as they had years ago, Dazai sat in his usual seat with Y/n to his left. On his right would be Oda, if he were still alive, that’s where he’d be. Ango had once sat next to Y/n on the days they attended the drinking. Though it was rare to see them show up to the bar. Perhaps it had been once or twice.
Neither spoke much, basking in the silence. Enjoying the old but familiar feeling of the bar. When Dazai took his eyes off the empty seat next to him, he turned back to find a passed-out Y/n, drunk from the glasses of drink they downed. Dazai’s cup had not a single sip taken from it, the ice still bouncing up and down. “You’ve always been the first to drop out among us.” Dazai snickered, patting their head as he stood up. Stepping towards the sofa to grab their jacket, when he turned back, his expression froze. Perhaps it should have been expected already? Dazai held the jacket in his hands, putting it over them. Their eyes slowly opened. Their body stood far more mature than the last version. Their eyes slowly dropped open, squinting and grumbling incoherent words. “Osamu? Came back for me?” the slurring of their words pained him. The image was all too familiar, the night he left them.
“Come on, let’s go home. You’re drunk right now.” Dazai swung one of their arms over his shoulder, helping them drag their feet over the tile.
“Okay!” they hummed leaning onto him further.
Dazai dropped them on their bed, aware they had already passed out again. He took their coat and hung it up before pulling the sheets over them. He strolled out of the room, towards the room he had been sleeping in again. He’d uncluttered it, picked up the broken glass, set the frames back up, and changed the dead lights. The room looked almost like it had years ago when he used it. Sitting on the bed, he brought his hands to lock into his hair. He knew it would end eventually, but it appeared so soon. He stayed hunched over for a while, unsure when he collapsed into exhaustion. Waking up mid-day with heavy limbs. Forcing himself out of bed to confront the Crimson puppeteer. Before that, he had to change the bandages, his skin was irritated from the night of rubbing against sand grains. Unwinding the cloth from his arms, he stared and the sand sticking to the marks along his skin. It had been so long since the urge came that he was taken aback when he noticed there were no healing wounds. Before any other thoughts could pester him, he opened the drawer of the nightstand and pulled the roll of bandages out. Slowly wrapping his body with the fresh cloth. Finishing his job, he made his way carefully to the kitchen.
Dazai leaned against the wall, sidestepping a knife tossed at his head. The executive turned the stove off, Eyes emptier than the void stared back at him before becoming engulfed in fire. “You honestly left… you fucking left!” Dazai showed no reaction, his expression aggravatingly still. “Get out, get the fuck out. I’m four years ahead of where I belong, but that doesn’t mean you can be here Dazai.” They pointed burning fire in his direction, each flame a word meant to scorch him.
“I promised Chuuya I’d keep an eye on you until you were your present age. I’m sorry about the inconvenience.” Dazai’s voice held no emotion, forcing himself not to ramble on explanations. “I plan to carry the job to the end.” he caught a knife aiming at his face again.
“This isn’t fair! I’m the one who’s supposed to get the better life YOU promised me! Why are you living so leisurely? Somebody with consciousness like yours doesn’t deserve the light.” Dazai sighed, turning around and walking back towards the room he once called his. “Ya, you go hike off, shit-head.” The door didn’t slam nor lock behind the brunette. Dazai sank against it, pulling his phone out and texting the group that they wouldn’t see them again in the agency. He’d be back when they have aged up again, but without Y/n.
Maybe this will end in a day…
Sitting on the couch, they pulled their knees to their chest. Trying to make sense of things as they flipped through TV channels. Downing wine, glad there was some in the house. Chuuya had gotten them into drinking wine about a year before Dazai left the Mafia.
A day turned into three and then a week before concern grew. He hadn’t come from the room the entire time. They had made food for him each night, for a reason they were unsure of. It was mostly due to habit, used to cooking a meal for him to enjoy when he got back from hanging out at the bar. Grabbing the plate, they shoved the door open, setting the plate down and glaring at dazai’s curled form on the bed. “You suck at your job.”
“I suck at living to begin with, of course, I suck at this too.” Dazai didn’t bother opening his eyes, staying in that curled-up position.
“Eat dumb-ass, or I'll spoon feed it to you.”
“I’m not hungry, You’ll age back eventually and I’ll leave.” As they promised, Dazai found a hand yanking him to sit upright, and a spoon shoved into his mouth. Opening his eyes, he sighed, taking the metal into his own hands. “You’re annoyingly stubborn.”
“I guess I am… when you finish eating, take a shower before you stink my apartment up.” Dazai rolled his eyes downing the food with a heavy grumble. Standing on his feet as he dragged his weight, increased a hundredfold by his consciousness, to the restroom. Yawning as he turned the water cold and washed.
Y/n gazed down at the floorboards before heading back to the living room. They pulled their legs to their chest, dropping their head into the crevice created. “Why did he get to leave?”
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Momentary Joy
Pt 10 of Red; Blood and Love | Dazai x reader
Part one here
previous part here
masterlist here
On passes three days, and with the sun beating down, Dazai found himself sitting on the top of a cement wall seated far away from the sand. The water reflected the glimmering light of the sun, about noon where it sat highest in the sky, inflicting unpleasant heat on the surrounding area.
Dazai tugged at his tank, trying to fan himself as his bandages began sticking to him uncomfortably. He hated the beach, more so hated the uncomfortable windless heat like this. Why had they dragged him to the beach? No, how had they managed to drag him from bed today? With his arms crossed and eyes set in glares, he refused to step down from the wall to join the Agency. Everybody was out playing, Ranpo building sand-castles. Atsushi, Kyouka, and Y/n out chasing each other along the water’s edge, passing a ball to each other and laughing. Yosano sat under an umbrella, mostly relaxing, while occasionally glancing up to see if anybody was injured. Kunikida was reading a book laying out on a towel. Even Kenji seemed to be enjoying himself, building sandcastles and searching for little creatures in the tidepools. Everyone but Dazai was enjoying themselves. Hell, he’d rather go to a museum and be bored to death than be here.
It wasn’t long before the three who were chasing each other around with the ball came up to him. “Dazai-Kun come on, stop sulking around!” Their smile brightened his gloomy appearance slightly. Still, he didn’t budge, glaring at the sand covering their clothes.
“Not happening, I hate sand.” Dazai puffed his cheeks out, playfully hissing at the ex-assassin.
“You’re so grumpy today! I’ll pull your stick limbs down!” The two friends of the child watched the interaction carefully. It had long since been found that these two had something special between them. Dazai glared when they grabbed his arms and tugged him down.
“No, no no! It’ll get all in the bandages Y/n-san! Whyyyyy!” Dazai fell face forward on the sand with Y/n jumping back to not also fall down. Dazai shot up, crossing his arms. He grabbed a fistful of the grains and shot it towards them. “Evil! You’re so cruel Y/n-san! I’m covered in it now!” Dazai whined as giggles escaped the young person's lips. Tapping his head as they bolted.
“Come on Atsushi, Kyouka! Let’s run before he recovers enough to launch an attack!” They took off running, followed by two apologetic-looking friends. Dazai softened his expression, smiling before scrunching his face up and spitting sand out while shaking his arms.
He stood and went chasing after the three immediately after clearing the sand to the best of his ability. “You two run into the water! I’m going to run onto the rocks!” Smiling Y/n shouted to the two who nodded, splitting away from them to the ocean, up to their knees.
Noticing this, Dazai stopped, his eyes hunting for the third person in the group. Finding the sight of them climbing along the rocks, expertly sticking to the smallest holds, he sighed and ran over. He knew what they were going to do. Running over, he stopped at the base of the rock formation, staring up at them. The wind ruffled their clothes, and the sunlight glittered against their skin. Their head turned towards him with a bright smile. “I really like this version of Dazai! I love it more than the old one! I’m sure the present me would say the same thing!” Dazai’s chest fluttered, opening his arms, waiting for them. Their smile was the brightest light on that beach. The genuine happiness and joy glittering in their eyes was something he’d thought he’d never witness on the face of the mafia member at this age. They looked down, jumping directly into his arms, letting him spin them within his hold until the momentum slowed and their feet landed on the sand, their eyes batting with their hands pressed to their chest.
“You know, you're such a handful” Dazai grumbled, letting go of them as he sighed and looked up to the sky.
“How am I the handful?! You’re the stubborn idiot who refuses to admit how much he loves the beach!”
“Wha! I said it a hundred times already! I don’t like the beach! It-” He was cut off by the younger of the two finishing his sentence.
“It makes you uncomfortable. Sand gets everywhere, and you have to go through the trouble of actually taking a genuine bath and not just plopping soap on your head!” Dazai put a hand on his chest, lowering his gaze as if he were offended.
“I do not just plop soap onto my head!”
“Uh-huh, sure you don't, Dazai.” They smiled, leaning up to pat the brunette on the head, before joining Atsushi and Kyouka in the water. Dazai glanced at his hands, smiling as he stared. He hadn’t held them like that, not while they were that joyful, not in a while.
The setting sun pooled down with oranges over the beach, each member of the agency slowly trickling out until it was just the two of them left on the beach. Dazai glanced over watching as Y/n stared out into the ocean. Eyes full of wonder, reflecting the last embers of the daylight. “I truly love the beach, it’s where all our happiest moments happen. We could always smile, the two of us when we were around the water. Far from the black Mafia towers.” Dazai nodded, taking a seat next to them.
“I remember how I used to start purposely dropping from the bridges, and how you always grabbed my collar. At first, it was aggressive, you’d shove me to the floor. Slowly, those movements got softer, with more care.” Dazai stared out into the water, letting it come up and touch the tips of his toes as the tide began rolling in.
“Back then, you’re younger self, why did he become so cruel?” Their eyes were slowly starting to dull over again. The hand that had been laying on the sand came to hold their knees to their chest.
“I won’t lie, I didn’t have a reason. I was possessive and harsh. I never saw anything wrong with it… honestly… If Oda hadn’t opened my eyes to how I acted and what I'd become, I'd be here without regrets about how we ended.”
“But you regret it?”
“Regret making you afraid of me?”
“Do you?”
“I don’t know what regret is Y/n… but it does hurt. Recalling the days where I lashed out over stupid or trivial things, my chest weighs heavier and I don’t want to get up from bed.”
“I meant what I said… I'm glad you changed. I missed seeing that small ounce of light in your eyes, Osamu.”
“Mmm, I missed seeing your smile. Come on, let’s stop being so sappy! To the Lupin we go!” Dazai stood up, he typically avoided talks that got into feelings. He was still convinced he didn’t deserve to trouble somebody with what weighed his mind down, nor was he too sure he knew what feeling was supposed to be like.
“Alright!” their hand grabbed his, letting him pull them to their feet.
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