#bslfriendship

[bigsisterlita]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* B’s GUIDANCE *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✅ ─ INTRO: A good, strong friendship can provide: • A sense of belonging • Confidence • A sense of security and comfort • Guidance with personal issues • An outlet of expression • A safe place to talk about your feelings • Fun and exciting memories ✅ ─ BUILDING STRENGTH – Strong friendships are built on trust, honesty, loyalty, respect. • Trust each other (to keep secrets, not spread rumors, etc.) • Be authentic around each other • Help each other out • Put in effort ✅ ─ IN A ROCKY FRIENDSHIP? – In a rocky friendship you constantly feel: • Afraid to open up • Lack of trust • Lack of respect • Jealousy • Contemplating the end ✅ ─ ENDING TOXIC FRIENDSHIPS – Before breaking up, consider the following: • Only you know what's best for yourself • There is no rush • Your happiness ✅ ─ DRIFTING APART • It can be hard to experience but it can open up new possibilities. • Sometimes no one is to blame, it just happens. • It's hard to accept but try moving on • Not all friendships are worth the time and effort of rekindling ✅ ─ EXCLUSION: - This could mean your friends are hiding things, doing things without you, or purposely avoiding you. Ways you can deal are: • Avoid getting frustrated, you could scare your friend off • Avoid retaliation • Keep yourself busy with other things • Confront them ✅ ─ JEALOUSY: – it's important to learn how to deal with these feelings so you can act upon them in a responsible manner. • Realize everyone has strengths and weaknesses. • Don’t compare yourself to others • Spend time with other fiends ~ 🅱️ (credit to Taylor)

[bigsisterlita]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* B’s GUIDANCE *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 1️⃣ There’s a difference between pleasing others and consoling them. Comforting those you care about isn't something you should see as an obligation but a privilege to support them. Because you want support in return, don’t be afraid to reach out to them! If they don’t console you, it may be because they don’t know you're upset and cannot read your mind. We want our friends to come running when we're hurt but they won’t know unless we speak up. 2️⃣ No one is giving you a chance because you haven't given yourself one nor are you being open-minded or realistic with yourself. Its normal to speak when you're spoken to but what about that concept makes you feel out of place other than the assumption you want someone to speak to you? If you desire communication, step out of your comfort zone and initiate contact with someone. You can’t always rely on someone to communicate with you first. Sometimes the best conversations start with you but you'll never know until you try. 3️⃣ Being more mature than your peers is nothing to be ashamed of and I'm questioning why you would think so. It plays a very important role in your life by building your character. Take me for example. If hiding your true self and being surrounded by ignorant peers is tiresome, take the time to share those viewpoints you've held onto and enlighten those to the point you've become responsible for expanding their knowledge. Once you put your true self to action, being you isn't all that devastating unless you're doing nothing about it in a positive way. ~ 🅱️

[bigsisterlita]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* B’s GUIDANCE *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ℹ️ The key to stop hating someone is to start looking at their positives rather than their negatives. If someone is really talkative to the point of annoyance, think of it as being outgoing and full of life. Another thing, if it is a more personal matter, is to forgive somebody of what they've done wrong to you. It's hard to let go, but sometimes, you just have to take in a deep breath and let it go. The best way to do this is to talk to them (if they know about your hatred towards them, if not, write it down) and say your feelings. Say things like "I'm sorry if I've treated you badly in the past, but I felt wronged by you because... (whatever reason) so I really want to turn over a new leaf in our relationship. Can we just make amends?" ~ 🅱️ (credit to Rachel)

[bigsisterlita]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* B’s GUIDANCE *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 1️⃣ I have scoliosis myself and learned receiving necessary treatment is crucial for my health. It’s best you share with your friend how significant the use of a back brace can be, especially for her emotional health in the long run. She will have a bright future with a straighter back! 2️⃣ Help her think realistically and calm her fear by sharing pros and cons of wearing the brace. PROS: •it can be covered •can be removed with certain activities •curvature won’t be visible •can be removed while sleeping •improvement - CONS: •Uncomfortable/tiresome •Staring or remarks from others. Less cons than pros if you think about it. 3️⃣ Walking around slumped over in public is more embarrassing than wearing a brace that could correct it. If poked fun at her, help her defend herself. You can also address she has a medical condition not worth poking fun over, they’ll most likely shut up. Wearing the brace isn't as bad as it seems when you realize it does more positivity for her future than harm and refusing to wear the brace will worsen her condition and bring more pain and fear than she has now. ~ 🅱️

[bigsisterlita]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* B’s GUIDANCE *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 1️⃣ Throughout high school, it's common to no longer be friends with those you were friends with before. Not only will you meet plenty of students who have similar interests resulting in new friendships but people also change for better or worse resulting in ended friendships. 2️⃣ Those you trust who purposely cause you pain are clearly not true friends as they’ve disregarded your feelings. Don’t allow them to treat you as a doormat or accept this accept this behavior. Holding onto a toxic friendship is self deprivation. Regardless of how long you've known them, they have changed and betrayed you - its unhealthy for you to remain friends with them. 3️⃣ Friends should take pride in being with you and would never insult you intentionally. They should help you solve your problems and pick you up when you're down and most definitely support and encourage you. Fortunately, it seems you're lucky enough to have current friends who share majority of those traits so why continue a friendship with others who do the opposite? It's best you start spending more time with your current friends and cut off the toxic ones for your emotional well being. You deserve friends who carry positive vibes and treat you in the best way possible. ~ 🅱️

[bigsisterlita]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* B’s GUIDANCE *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✅ ─ WHAT YOU'LL NEED: • Introversion, depression, social anxiety or shyness can effect the process of making friends in terms of feelings associated with the connection between yourself and others. Maybe you've felt paranoid about the outcome or afraid of rejection, judgement, or stumbling on your words, etc. These feelings will continue to hold you back if you do not have MOTIVATION and PERSEVERANCE. 🆘 ─ HOW THE ESSENTIALS HELP: • You can get outta your shell. Sometimes we have to take risks and work a little harder to reach out to others, that's okay. But we have to keep trying in order to build communication skills and new friendships. If socializing isn’t made, you're gonna experience loneliness and pain of not communicating with others when desired. Don't hesitate to make the first move if you truly wanna build friendships. It won't be easy but needs to be done if you want to positively improve your social life. 🔢 ─ STEPS YOU CAN TAKE: • Socializing and making social risks are CRUCIAL to your emotional/social development. This doesn't mean to attempt “fitting in" or "dangerous stunts" to get others to speak to you. It just means the more you learn to socialize, the more skillful you become at making friends and holding conversations. • TRY THESE: appear approachable, greet someone, crack a joke, tell a story, ask a question, compliment someone, ask for their contact info, etc - these gestures will make others notice you as an outgoing person. ↩️ ─ CHANGE YOUR MINDSET: • Never say you "cannot help" you can learn to quickly overcome what’s holding you back •You can't keep new friendships if you're beating yourself up. Remove negative thoughts like people not wanting you around, thinking you're unusual or odd, or not worthy of their time - most of the time it's false. If others didn't want you around, they'd make it crystal clear and wouldn't have befriended you. • If they aren't fond of you, you can try again with others who value you - this is why motivation and perseverance is important • If you go into friendships with a self degrading mindset, you're gonna believe their thoughts are yours. Think about being the best possible friend you can be. 💟 ─ TRY YOUR BEST BUT NOT TOO HARD: • We all feel lonely from lack of communication with previous friends but you can always reach out to them during a time of need. Remember to do your part in a friendship.. • "Best friends" don't happen overnight and aren't a necessity. Having no best friend doesn’t mean you can’t cherish friendships you already have. As long as you know those you're friends with are caring, empathetic, and make effort, that's all you need. ~ 🅱️

[bigsisterlita]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* B’s GUIDANCE *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 1️⃣ Your friends probably aren't yet used to you being so nice. I don't think they're meaning to come across rudely. Since you’re their friend, it's simply playful banter - as long as you don't feel threatened or hurt by what they say. If you do are, I suggest politely asking them to stop or when in a group, pull one of them aside and ask if they can stick up for you. Hopefully, they can help you with fighting off the comments. 2️⃣ Remember, the way you feel about yourself is way more important than what your friends thinks about you. Being kind to others is something everyone should do. I applaud you for your dedication! Your friends should encourage you to continue and support you as you become the person you strive to be. ~ 🅱️ (credit to Rachel)

[bigsisterlita]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* B’s GUIDANCE *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 1️⃣ As ever growing individuals, it’s normal we come to new realizations about our sexuality and identity, experience minor changes, and label ourselves accordingly. This is because: 1) we expanded our knowledge on sexualities + identities 2) Sexuality and gender are both fluid. I’ve previously identified as bisexual, pansexual, asexual, and polysexual and now, polyromantic. This isn’t uncommon. If your friends understand and are familiar with the fluidity of sexuality + gender, they should understand. 2️⃣ Did you know “gender fluidity” is a type of transgender identity? You’re not completely far off from what you truly are. Your friends may laccept or empathize with your identity “change” and realization. They’ve possibly experienced realizations themselves. If they do not accept this change or unable to empathize, these friends aren’t for you. 3️⃣ I understand you’re worried about the thoughts your fellow LGBT+ friends have about this, however, this is more common thank you think. Also, you can easily find supportive friends who accept you if they don’t. Fortunately, I believe your friends will understand and if they don’t, they can always ask questions. Don’t confuse their curiosity for lack of acceptance - they can be both empathetic AND curious. ~ 🅱️