No Harm List | Pt. 11
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: mafia au, fluff, violence
Summary: You live in a city where crime runs rampant. One day, you save a young boy’s life, not knowing that he is one of the most powerful crime lord’s heir. And you have just been put on the no harm list.
Rating: 18+
Warnings: violence, alcohol, mention of drugs, borderline smut
Word Count: 9.8+
Beta reader: @punkisnotdead2318
A/N: Hey besties I’m so sorry for the long break! But heres the moment some of you have been waiting for and others have been dreading. Sorry if this is poorly edited life happens and this is my best at the moment.
Masterlist
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Your head was pounding.
A groan escaped you as you rolled over. Even with your eyes closed, you could feel the morning sun mercilessly shining down on you through your eyelids.
Your throat was dry and your tongue felt too big for your mouth, and you could tell you fell asleep without removing your makeup by the way your lashes seemed to resist when you moved to crack one eye open. They were nearly fused together by the clumped waterproof mascara foolishly applied before going out.
You went to nuzzle your face deeper into your navy blue pillow desperate to be unconscious once more when you remembered you did not own a navy blue pillow. Your bedding was grey.
Body ridgid, you took in the plush king-sized bed that was far nicer than your own and smelled enticingly of a spiced cologne.
This is Hoseok’s fault. You thought bitterly as you recalled his promise that he wouldn’t allow any one-night stands. He abandoned you and left you helpless to be lured by some sexy stranger.
The muzzy fog in your head made it hard for you to recall what happened last night and what events led you to this bed.
Memories or not, you had to get out quick.
You hopped out of bed, your head spinning and sore body protesting as you made your way to the windows.
Your smooth thighs brushed together and you looked down to see you were not in your clothes from last night, but instead, an oversized olive green tee shirt that hung just above your knees.
You admit it’s more modest than what you wore last night, but being in a mystery lover’s clothing did leave you unsettled. You pat your bottom for a moment and smile in victory when you confirm your panties were still on.
You continued your dizzying journey to the window, now more bodily aware. Your hangover wasn't the worst you’ve ever experienced, you didn’t feel sick, but the way your head throbbed was unmatched by any other headache you’ve experienced before. And you were blinded when you pulled back the window shade slightly to try to get a check on your location.
Squinting against the morning light, you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach as you took in the familiar rose garden that lined the back of the Den’s property.
It felt like cold water was poured down your back at the potential idea that you weren’t in a stranger's bed, but in one of the members of BTS.
Your mind was reeling as you tried to remember how you ended up here.
What had happened last night?
Suddenly, you became aware of a lack of noise aside from the throbbing in your skull.
With a creak of a faucet handle and the groan of the pipes in the walls, you heard the shower come to a stop in the connecting bathroom.
Your heart raced as the chance of facing your dance partner of the night came closer.
Ready to just bite the bullet and face your doom, you made your way to the bathroom door and knocked lightly before pushing it open.
“Hey I’m so-AHHHHHH!”
“AHHHHHHHH!” Taehyung shouted back at you as he struggled to wrap his towel around his waist.
“Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!” You cried as you pulled the door shut.
Your breathing hitched in panic, and you struggled to slow it in your flustered state. After a moment of hearing him shuffle around the bathroom, you knocked again, louder this time.
“Are you decent?” You called hesitantly.
You swear you could hear his smirk through the door as he responded, “Morally? No. But if you're wondering if I have pants on, yeah, you’re good.”
The door opened, and your cheeks flushed as you faced him again, “Sorry about that, I should have knocked… Did we??” You blurted out, unable to finish, your brain was still sluggish and you grew nervous as you struggled to recall how last night ended.
He raised a brow, amused. “Sleep together? No, only by its most basic definition. But we both kept to our side of the bed. But if you want to,” he placed a hand on the door frame leaning further into your space, “there’s still plenty of time.”
You swallowed audibly as his dark eyes took you in. Quickly, you checked yourself and rolled your eyes, ignoring how it made your stomach turn, and let out a scoff, “As if.”
“Your loss, Princess,” he shrugged as he pushed past you.
“I think I liked it better when you called me Dorito breath,” You grumbled.
“I think Dorito breath is too kind of a nickname,” Tae quipped back, “Your breath is rancid. There’s a spare toothbrush on the counter. Please, help yourself.” He offered, gesturing to his bathroom.
You didn’t bother to reply as you followed his directions, the quick excitement had your head pounding. You focused on the task of cleaning your mouth until it was minty fresh, you inspected yourself in the mirror and were shocked by the sight.
The remains of your makeup streaked down your face and your eyes were ready and puffy, as if you had been crying the night before.
Did you cry?
Your mind struggled to remember the dancing and drinks and the cake, it felt like your thoughts were out of order.
Just how much did you have to drink?
“It’s okay if you can’t remember, it’s normal,” Taehyung assured and you looked up to see him watching you from the doorway, brows furrowed in concern.
You frooze, toothbrush dangling in your mouth as you turned to him, confused. Taehyung sighed, realizing being cryptic was only going to upset you more, he wanted to explain everything as soon as possible before too many memories came back and you got hysterical, but he wanted you to feel safe too.
“Do you want an explanation first or do you wanna wash up?” He offered.
“Explain, please.” You rubbed at your temples, the hangover from last night’s actions leaving your head throbbing.
Taehyung took the time to grab a glass of water from the sink along with some headache medication, letting you fumble then take the pills before speaking.
You knew his intentions were well-meaning, but the building suspense only made your anxieties grow as you followed him to the bed.
“There was a shooting at the club last night,” he started, his tone serious, eyes searching as you recalled the night’s events.
“Oh my god,” you whispered as a flood of memories overwhelmed you. Gunshots echoing over the screams of the partners in the club. A shattered glass. The weight of Tae’s body on yours as he covered you on the ground. The too-sweet smoke that curled in the air and made your head spin even through the cloth secured over your nose. But after the smoke, your memory was a haze of fear and panic.
Your gaze went out of focus as the anxiety formed a tight knot in your chest and a tremor made its way through your body as your brain struggled to process too much at once.
“Ella, Y/N, please breathe,” Taehyung whispered, taking hold of your trembling hands, terrified he would have a repeat of last night, “Everyone is safe.” He soothed, not wanting your mind to dwell on any possibilities.
You blinked for a second, as if remembering where you were before taking your hands from his and balling them into tight fists.
Taehyung watched something in you transform as your eyes steeled and you rolled your shoulder back adjusting your posture.
“What happened, I can’t remember anything after the...” you took a moment to try and swallow back the lump in your throat, you would not let your fear get the best of you, “I can’t remember anything after the smoke bombs.” You forced yourself to finish, your voice stronger this time.
“That’s normal, it’s okay, I promise it’s just a side effect of the smoke, your memories will come back soon. But you were very distressed, rightly so,” he added with a small smile, “If you’ll let me I would like to fill in the gaps so you won’t get too confused.”
“Where are Hobi and the others?” You asked before agreeing to his offer.
“They’re all downstairs. I wanted to talk to you before we go down there, so you wouldn’t be overwhelmed.” He answered.
Tae’s eyes were kinder than you had ever seen, his voice reassuring. You knew he was taking precautions and looking out for your best interest, so you accepted the comfort. Later, you would wonder if the concern was genuine and natural or if it was a practiced part of his job. If taking the time to explain what happened was something he wanted to do or something he was ordered to do.
Weary, you accepted his offer and Tae filled you in on everything. The gunmen were part of the Black Tips, a rival gang you were growing too familiar with. V explained how just before the shooting, they made a move on BTS’s other assets, as well. First, sabotaging a car to lure RM, Suga, and J-Hope out before making a move on the warehouse, where most of BTS’s goods were stored.
V didn’t offer to tell you what kind of goods, and you thought it best not to ask.
RM and the others dealt with inventory and clean-up at the warehouse, but there was no actual conflict on site. V assured you they were safe the whole evening.
After Jungkook and Jimin took the gunmen down, the police showed up to take the shooters into custody and get their report. Luckily, the Bulletproof was only rumored to be affiliated with BTS; there wasn’t any concrete proof, so the report was filed as a terrorist attack, not gang violence. But once the police took the shooters in and BTS had no control over the criminal’s confessions, they could only hope the smoke disoriented them enough not to spill.
Only two civilians were injured by the shooting; they were taken to a hospital to be treated and were in stable condition. The Bulletproof would be covering their hospital bills. You were surprised by that kindness when V told you, but he laughed and assured you RM wasn’t doing it out of the kindness of his penny-pincher heart; he was doing it as a publicity stunt. Bulletproof needed to maintain its good reputation after such an event.
You were also impacted by the smoke, V explained. In the first hour of clean-up, you fell in and out of consciousness and seemed disoriented throughout the evening. V and Jimin had tried to take you back to the Den, but when you got in the car, you had become very distressed. They called Hobi to help talk you down from a complete panic attack, but the shock of the evening and your intoxicated state were all too much. Your night ended in Taehyung's bed, where he tried to calm you down until exhaustion finally claimed you.
You flushed by the end of his explanation, embarrassed by how weak you were that evening. You were a burden that held the gang back in a time of crisis for them.
“Ella,” Taehyung laughed, a little baffled, “You were drunk, drugged, and shot at on the night of your graduation party; anyone would break down at the end of the night. Don’t be embarrassed and apologetic for it. And don’t feel bad for us needing to help you. We put you in the line of danger when we vowed to protect you no matter what. You don’t owe us anything, and don’t let anyone here make you feel like you have responsibilities beyond your contract.” Tae pushed his tone, edging closer to seriousness than comforting at the end.
You look at his cheeks still heated, and you remember his resentment for RM. What his boss had ordered him to face to grow stronger. You wondered how much of his words were for you and how much was a reminder for himself.
“I hate crying in front of people,” you offered in response, disregarding his comforts and advice. You didn’t want to think about your role or responsibilities to the gang. Didn’t want to think about the hidden meaning in his words.
V took the offered bait and let lips quirk into a smile, “Me too, consider us even for the other day.”
“So, what’s next?” You asked after a moment of silence.
Taehyung looked at you with questioning eyes.
You prompted. “What’s the next move? You guys just had your asses handed to you; you’re telling me RM isn’t planning to retaliate right now?”
“What’s next is breakfast,” Tae stood with a stretch, “You’re hungover, I’m starving, and I definitely smell bacon downstairs,” He walked past his dresser, grabbing a pair of baggy basketball shorts, and threw them at you.
You blinked, a little shocked by his change in tone, before you scrambled to catch the shorts.
“I deserve to know what’s going to happen,” you insisted, gripping the shorts in frustration.
“You deserve,” Taehyung said with a clipped tone, “to stay the hell out of it. Now c’mon, bacon.” Taehyung insisted before walking out the door.
You scoffed in disbelief before hastily pulling on the basketball shorts and following him down the hall.
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Hoseok was dozing on the couch, the long night starting to catch up with him, when he heard the sound of your bare feet rushing down the stairs.
“Hobi!” You nearly wheezed, clinging to the rail for balance as you rushed down to him.
At the sight of you, he felt a flood of relief wash over him, followed by a tsunami of guilt.
“I am so glad you’re okay,” he breathed, wrapping you into a hug the moment you collided into his chest. You squeezed back just as hard.
Last night, after Jin broke the news, it took a moment to process everything that had happened before he immediately filled with panic at the thought of you being at the club. Jin had assured them that no one from the team was harmed during the shooting, but just because you were intact didn’t mean you felt safe.
He demanded RM let him call Jin back to get a proper report on Ella and the others. Begrudgingly, the leader complied as he went off to coordinate with Suga and dispatch teams to guard the other assets BTS had around town, like the bakery.
Jin had assured Hobi that while you were a little out of it from the gas, you were mostly keeping it together. That wasn’t news to him. You were a strong and adaptable person in a high-stress environment. But Hoseok knew the moment your adrenalin crashed you would too. So he made the order with what little authority he had and asked Jin to have Jimin to take you home as soon as possible. His elder respected the call and promised to send Taehyung back with them to the safety of the Den.
Forty minutes later, still trapped and restless at the warehouse, Hoseok received the phone call that made his heart drop. You were unintelligible over the phone, but your stress and anxiety were clear.
“I don’t know what to do and she kept asking for you.” Jimin pleaded over your cries.
Hoseok can only think of one other time in his life he has felt so helpless, and it ended with his sister’s death.
This evening was becoming an unending nightmare.
You were drunk while having a panic attack, and all Hoseok could do to help you was ignore Suga’s judgmental looks as he took the phone call, promise you were safe, and talk Jimin through your breathing exercises to help calm you down.
But how could he lie when you were in such a state?
He has no assurances even with his two most trusted brothers in arms by your side, that you were safe at this moment. That you were going to make it safely to the Den, eat a hot meal, and get to bed.
He couldn’t promise you that you wouldn’t hear gunshots again tonight because you were just caught in the crossfire of a war. You were trapped in the middle of a conflict Hoseok couldn’t see an end to.
Last night was his fault.
He let you get too close to BTS.
He couldn’t control your involvement with Jungkook or even your contract with RM. At the end of the day, those were the results of your actions and decisions. But he threw a party. He allowed you to invite the seven most dangerous men in BTS as if that wouldn’t draw a bright red target on your back.
He brought you to a gang-affiliated bar that you would have never gone into if the night was up to you.
A quiet night in. That’s what you insisted on, all you said you needed to celebrate graduating. You were tired and due to have your wisdom teeth removed soon, and start summer classes soon after that. You felt like a night out on the town would throw off any semblance of a routine you built for yourself.
But you deserved so much more.
You deserved to be celebrated for all your hard work. To feel weightless and free and dance until your feet ached and have a night of guiltless fun. And Hoseok wanted to give that to you.
He had forgotten himself. Forgotten that he was cursed to only endanger the people he loves anytime he gets too close.
“Ella, how are you feeling?” Jin asked when Hoseok finally let you free of his embrace.
“We’ll talk later,” you assured Hoseok in a hushed tone, patting his chest before moving towards your boss. “As good as I can? How about you all?” You offered back and Jin picked up the slight professionalism in your tone.
You weren’t feeling good at all. You had a throbbing headache from an unknown substance that drugged you, you were sore everywhere, and you weren’t even ready to tap into the emotional wreckage you have to face from last night’s events.
“Here this should help you,” Jimin offered, stirring a spoon in a thick, dark liquid before handing you a small glass. You blinked in surprise, not even realizing that he was in the room with you.
“What is it?” You questioned hesitantly as you smelled it.
“Activated charcoal, egg yolk, spinach puree, ginger, orange, coconut water, -”
“It’s a hangover smoothie,” Taehyung cut him off impatiently.
Jimin frowned, “It’s more than just that, it will combat the effects of the gas from last night as well, help clear your head.”
You gave the dark drink a hesitant look before making yourself down the whole thing in two gulps, delighted to find it tasted like chocolate.
“Good right?” Jimin prompted. You nodded as you followed him back to the kitchen where Jin was back to tending the stove.
You took a moment to scan the room. It seemed like most everyone was back at the Den. Jin and Jimin were manning the kitchen.
Suga was laid out on one of the recliners, eyes closed and arms tucked against his chest. But based on the rise and fall of his chest, he was either faking or fighting his mid-morning nap.
RM and Jungkook were nowhere in sight, but you couldn’t bring yourself to ask about their whereabouts.
Hoseok and Taehyung both trailed you to the kitchen, and you fixated on both of them as they made their way to the counter, watching their legs as they walked, and which hand they favored as they moved to fix their plate. Tae told you no one was seriously injured last night, but if there were any minor ones to tend to..
. Her desperation felt selfish as she took in Taehyungs form.
“Will you chill out and grab a plate doc, we're fine,” Hoseok teased, recognizing your over-analytical gaze.
He was a little shaken by the unnatural calm you walked in with this morning. He was prepared for you to run out of the house and never look back after last night, but of course, you never made things easy for yourself.
Instead, you found some false sense of peace to hold yourself together this morning and were looking for any chance of a distraction to launch you into action.
“Sorry, but are you guys all okay from last night?” You asked as you accepted the plate Hoseok offered you.
“Well, my pride is incredibly bruised but other than that, we’re fine, Ella; any minor scrapes and bruises were taken care of last night,” Jin assured.
Taken care of last night.. When you couldn’t help them.
You tried not to let the thought get to you. You had no reason to be sober and able-minded last night, but you still felt some piercing guilt to know that not only were you useless in a time of need, but you were also a burden to them.
Jin and Jimin made crepes. The kitchen island was lined with a tall stack of them and every possible topping you could want to dress them, including, as Taehyung promised, bacon.
You indulged your sweet tooth as you made your first, covering it in strawberries, freshly whipped cream, and chocolate sauce. You snagged yourself a few pieces of bacon and some citrus fruit as a side before making your way to the table. Hoseok was quick to settle in the chair next to you.
“Do you want any real food with your dessert?” Taehyung asked as he eyed your plate, helping himself to one of the strawberries.
“You’re one to talk, what's that monstrosity?” You questioned as you eyed his plate. His crepe was covered in peanut butter, bananas, chocolate chips, and crumbled bacon.
“A balanced breakfast,” he answered with a smile before digging in.
Your lip curled in distaste as you watched him devour his meal.
“Jin, I’m going to go into the bakery tomorrow if I can. I have a new recipe I’ve been wanting to try,” Jimin informed as he made his way to the table.
“Do what you want, just be sure to clean up your mess,” Jin said dismissively, not looking up from his phone.
“Well I’ll be working in the back so I may need someone to cover the kitchen for me.” Jimin said pointedly.
“Oh I’m free tomorrow I can cover.” You offered, never one to pass up a chance to snag some extra cash.
Jimin looked at you with hesitation, “I don’t know, I’m pretty shy about my projects.”
“She’ll be fine, just stay in the front and out of his way, yeah?” Jin sighed typing vigorously.
“What recipe are you working on?” You asked curiously. Usually, Jimin was excited to share his new projects with you. You didn’t think he had a shy bone in his body, but your friend wouldn’t meet your eyes at your question.
“Hey Y/N, did you want your cell phone?” Hoseok asked, digging into his pocket.
Instantly, your head snapped to him, all concerns leaving your mind as you took the magical device in your hand eagerly.
Jimin smiled at his brother in thanks for the distraction.
Reunited with your phone, you almost forgot you were eating breakfast at the table of a notorious gang as you went on with your meal.
You spent your time scrolling through and checking your notifications, seeing all your classmate’s graduation posts, and participating in small talk with the guys.
The mood was almost too light. A forced calm in the aftermath of last night's events, but you weren’t about to be the one to spoil it for them.
At one point, you and Hoseok gave a dramatic retelling of your race through the countryside yesterday morning. Somehow that felt like a lifetime ago after the evening that followed it. But the way the others laughed as the two of you bickered over who actually won the last round made the morning feel normal, and like their family wasn't on the cusp of losing the world they worked so hard to build.
You were getting up to fix your third serving of breakfast when the front door opened, RM marched in with Jungkook trailing behind.
The mob boss glanced at you for one second, unphased as he took in your haggard appearance before barking orders, “V I need you at the police station, if Ella’s awake, that means the gunmen are, and they’re probably ready to talk by now. Get a uniform and get me that report.” He said, his pace unfaltering.
V was in action instantly, abandoning his plate and making his way upstairs.
“Suga get up, the new security system is getting installed in an hour, I want you there,” RM added as he made his way to the center of the room. His drowsy second sat up quickly, looking more alert than you were expecting before making his way out the room.
All the members sat ridgid, looking ready for orders; any sign of the peaceful breakfast you were having a moment ago was gone, the leftovers on plates the only piece of evidence.
Your eyes drifted to take in Namjoon and Jungkook, both were dressed cleanly in solid black tee shirts and well-fitting cargo pants of some sorts. They looked professional, not in a business way, but maybe in terms of their line of business.
“Jin, I want you at the casino handling all news coverage,” RM continues.
“I already spoke with channel 9 and our local outlet.” Jin informed.
“Well go find someone else, the newspaper I don’t care. I want full control of their coverage.” RM dismissed in frustration.
Jin frowned slightly, and you waited for the lovers to dispute, but instead, the baker stood silently and made his way upstairs to clean up.
Taken off guard by RM’s harshness, you looked to Jungkook to judge his reaction, surprised to lock eyes with him. You anticipated Jungkook’s attention to be glued to his leader awaiting orders but instead, they were looking at you, traveling up your form, taking in the bruise on your leg, and the baggy basketball shorts you had to triple knot to keep around your waist, paired with the oversized tee-shirt that absolutely swallowed your form.
You weren’t self conscious about your appearance until now.
RM seemed to be done giving direct orders and settled in the living room in discussion with Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook. Whatever they talked about went over your head by the overuse of code words. And your hangover made it too much of a challenge to try to decode, so you returned to your meal listening absentmindedly to their voices, the language sounding near foreign to your tired mind.
Jin returned downstairs, giving RM a quick debriefing of his plans for the day before moving to clean up everyone’s plates as he waited for his next interview. You were quick to join him, excited for something to keep you busy.
The two of you worked in silent tandem, you washed the dishes while Jin dried and put them away, and for a moment it felt like you were back in the bakery and everything was normal aside from the five men in the living room discussing their criminal plans.
RM planned to weaken the Black Tips before going in for the kill it.
Their large-scale investments were under lock and key after making such a big move against BTS. They were anticipating a retaliation, but their small scale projects were more or less the same.
Individual drug dealers were pulled deeper into Black Tips territory to avoid any risk of an ambush, but otherwise didn’t seem to be operating in larger groups. Jimin and J-Hope would be in charge of deploying small attack teams to target and take down any dealers rolling in with their stolen product.
The Black Tips also have a few small investments that weren’t related to any fields BTS worked in. The Black Tips were going to leave these investments more vulnerable, convinced BTS didn’t know where to hit them where it hurts in these fields.
One of the investments was a small construction company. JK would take a small team to their storage yard in two days to sabotage any major equipment they have. And wreck any of their active work sites.
“Be discreet here. I don’t want it to look like the sites were wrecked. I want to discredit their whole operation. Make it fail.” Rm ordered.
From there Jin and V would use all his connections to prevent the Black Tips from getting any future bids on projects, hopefully putting them out of business.
Taehyung rejoined the group, and you almost choked as you caught sight of him in the Alcor police uniform. You wanted to laugh as you remembered just a few weeks ago the two of you were running from the chief of police.
With V holding RM’s attention, Jungkook took the opportunity to slip away from the group to fix RM and himself a plate of food before Jin packed away the leftovers.
You moved to help him and he smiled at you quietly, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. You noticed the deep purple lurking underneath and wondered if he’s gotten to sleep at all. Or has he been up managing everything with RM this whole time. He clearly had time to clean up and change but other than that, has the boy been given a break?
You opened your mouth to ask him when you noticed a stained bandage on his bicep.
“You're bleeding,” you said, shocked.
The room went quiet as everyone looked to you. RM looked annoyed and you realized you interrupted whatever he was saying to his men.
“It’s fine Ella,” Jungkook said with a sheepish grin.
“No it’s not, you need to have that redressed ASAP,” you pushed, taking the plate out of his hand.
“He got it treated last night, he’s fine. Jungkook get over here, we’re not done yet,” RM ordered.
Jungkook made a move for the living room, but you put your arm out to block him, careful to not touch his injury, “No he’s not.” You snapped back, “He’s bleeding through his dressing and he looks exhausted, he can’t keep working like this. You need to let me help him.”
“Y/N, I’m fine,” Jungkook insisted, but you gave him a withering glare, daring him to make another comment.
RM gave an unamused smile as he stood and made his way towards you. You’ve seen the boss get impatient with people before, and it had made your stomach feel cold witnessing it second hand, but this was the first time you were on the receiving end of such a look and the patronizing tone that accompanied it.
“Ella, you are a guest in my house. I ask that you remember your place and not give me orders.” RM kept a respectful distance from you as he spoke but he still towered over you. You made yourself stand your ground. You’ve seen this routine when he was meeting with clients plenty of times and you found his intimidation tactic predictable.
“With all due respect, Mr.Kim,” you pushed back, your voice icy and sacherine, “One of your men is bleeding. I ask that you use some common sense and let me tend to him so he doesn’t lose his arm to infection.” You knew the infection was unlikely, but not impossible especially if Jungkook was going to be spending time on a construction site.
Namjoon’s jaw clenched but his eyes danced with amusement, “It’s in your best interest to stay out of gang affairs, maybe we should get V to take you home.” He responded to you in a threatening, but overly polite tone.
The others were silent as they watched in awe. They have seen RM play countless roles and countless games as their leader. But this exchange between the two of you, you were inventing a new game entirely.
“Actually, considering you pay me for my services it’s in my best interests to change Jungkook’s bandages right away. V, you could hang around and take me home when we're done. That would be lovely.” You cooed peeking at the uniformed man over RM’s shoulder.
RM glared and you smiled sweetly before turning your back to him and looking at Jungkook, “Can we go to your room maybe?” You asked him.
Jungkook stood rigid and wide eyed glancing between you and RM for orders.
“She makes a valid point, lemon square,” Jin said, stepping forward to rub Namjoon’s shoulders and leaving a peck on his shoulder to ease the tension.
You had to fight the corners of your mouth from curling up at the nickname as you dared to glance at RM. You knew about he and Jin’s habit of calling eachother pastry names as patnames, and you were thankful for Jin choosing such an outlandish one to help break the intensity of the moment.
“Be quick,” Namjoon growled.
And again, you fought back a smile as you followed Jungkook out the room in victory.
A few minutes later, you were settling into Jungkook's room. Taking in the intensive first aid kit Jin found ‘laying around’ the spare bathroom.
“I can’t believe you talked to Namjoon like that,” Jungkook laughed as you made your way to the connecting bathroom to wash your hands.
“C’mon, he’s all bark and no bite,” you said with an easy smile and Jungkook scoffed.
“That's not true at all,”
“I’m the local doctor and I owe Namjoon money, he’s not going to hurt me when I’m an investment,” you assured him, but your confidence faltered as you saw Jungkook’s face fall.“He wouldn't kill me right?” you asked, making your way out the bathroom suddenly unsure of yourself.
“No, no he couldn't, you're on the no harm list!” Jungkook assured, taking a seat on the bed, “but I mean he could make your life a living hell. Just don’t get too comfortable around him.” He added as an afterthought.
“Is that how you feel about him too?” You ask quietly as you riffle through a kit you were fairly certain was stolen from an EMT., “Like you’re never comfortable around him?” You looked at him hesitantly, wondering if you were pushing a little too much.
“Nah, well..” Jungkook sighed, “Namjoon and Jin, they practically raised me since I was a middle schooler. I’m comfortable with him because he made me into the man I am today. I owe him everything. But I respect him. He’s our leader. Love and fear go hand and hand don’t they?”
And you realized you never found out how Jungkook ended up joining BTS.
You paused a moment, laying out a thin paper sheet and placing the topical and numbing creams on a tongue compressor “I couldn’t imagine having to balance that with a parent. But how did you end up in BTS?” You asked curiously.
Jungkook smirked, “That’s a story for another day.”
You rolled your eyes but nodded, “Okay, well, then do you want to tell me how you hurt your arm?” You asked as you reached for the bandage.
Jungkooks face fell as you reached for the bandage, “You don’t remember last night?” He asked carefully.
You gave a small, but sad smile as you moved to push his sleeve out the way, “Not everything, I mean I’ve been filled in but Jimin said it might take a few days to remember everything between the gas and the… trauma of the night I guess.” You mumbled.
“I was shot last night,” Jungkook explained and he watched your hands stutter in shock, clenching his shirt sleeve before forcing yourself to release and bring your hands to the side.
“Fuck,” you hissed under your breath.
“You tried to treat me last night, but you were so hysterical... I ended up having Jimin wrap it for me.”
You squeezed your eyes shut as the memory came for you, kneeling on the floor next to him crying and frantic as blood poured out his arm. Jungkook was stoic as he watched you try to blot away the blood with cocktail napkins to get a clear view of the wound.
“Stop” you hissed at the memory, taking a step back from Jungkook.
He called your name, shocked, as he watched you run your hands through your hair clearly distressed. Jungkook moved to get up from the bed and you put your hand out to stop him.
“Don’t move.” You ordered.
“Y/N, are you okay?” He asked and you wanted to laugh at the question. Laugh at the level of unprofessional you were being right now.
“I’m fine, don't ask me that.” You snapped. His eyes were wide and you saw the hurt in his expression and you groaned in frustration.
You needed to get yourself together, you needed to treat him, you needed to be okay so you could help your friend who was literally bleeding.
“I need to wash my hands.” You announced making your way to his bathroom once again. Both of you ignored the fact that you already washed your hands.
Once the door was closed you took a deep breath before turning on the sink and pumping an excessive amount of soap in your hands and scrubbing furiously.
You can not control the way you acted last night. You tell yourself.
Nothing was expected of you. You were intoxicated, and your actions do not reflect your character.
You repeated the affirmations in your head like a montra as you took in your appearance in the mirror. Your hair was a mess, and you looked about as good as you felt, your eyes betrayed every emotion and insecurity raging through you.
You sucked in a deep breath, closing your eyes and pulling the hair tie off your wrist. You pulled your hair back in a high ponytail despite the way your pounding head protested, and you made a list.
The objective: a patient has been shot.
The goal: remove a bullet if necessary, clean it and wrap the wound.
And god you hope the bullet was still in his arm, you were horrified by the thought of Jimin trying to remove it on sight, the damage that might have been done to his tissue and the risk of infection.
You nodded to yourself listing off the process like a to-do list as you worked to ground yourself.
Jungkook could see the change in your eyes when you opened the door to his room. Everything from your expression to the way you held yourself shifted in those two minutes you had to reel yourself in. And despite the fact that you were still dressed in Taehyung's rumpled clothes, you held yourself with a sense of authority and purpose.
When you looked at him Jungkook felt like you weren’t looking at your friend but at a problem to be solved.
“Is the bullet still in your arm?” You asked as you walked over to him.
“No, it was a clean shot, it went completely through,” Jungkook answered,his voice equally serious.
“You’re certain?”
“Yeah, Jimin kept it, it’s probably in his pocket still if you wanna see it,” Jungkook prompted with a smile.
You cracked a grin as well, “Gross.”
You moved to unwrap his dressing again, but sighed as you moved to push back the sleeve, “Do you mind taking your shirt off?” You asked.
And Jungkook smiled a little too smug, “Not at all doc,” he assured as he first removed the fabric from his uninjured arm and head, then carefully sliding it off his injured arm.
“You have high mobility, which is probably why it’s bleeding so much, how's the pain?” You asked.
Jungkook frowned, a little disappointed by the lack of attention you paid to the uninjured parts of his body as you moved to unwrap his dressing.
“I have a high pain tolerance,” he said with a shrug.
You rolled your eyes and ignored the tough boy act. Finally, you unravel the last of the dressing and revealed the injury and as expected, it was bleeding a good bit.
You moved quickly to grab a rag covered in disinfectant and pressed it against the wound.
Jungkook flinched, hissing a breath through his teeth at the sting, “So what's the verdict doc? Can I keep it?” He asked, trying to keep his voice even.
“I think I might be able to save it,” you said with a smirk, “Here hold this.” you said pressing his other hand to the rag. You reached for a blue strip of elastic moving to tie it around his upper arm to help slow the bleeding. Jungkooks face flinched in discomfort at the added pressure.
“You’ll be a fine, tough guy,” you said with a smirk reaching to take the towel from him, blotting slightly. You pulled the rag to glance at the wound, “Wow, you weren't lying when you said it was a clean shot.” You laughed as you inspected the injury, it wasn’t even a clean shot but more of a graze.
The surface of the skin was broken on the outer bicep. It was deep and there were clear signs of a burn on the outer edges that will make the healing and scarring a bit more complicated. But the injury wasn’t as invasive as you were prepared to face.
“What's so funny?'' He asked.
“It’s just a graze, only you would be this lucky,” you scoffed.
“What does that mean?” he asked with a smile.
“It means I don’t even need to give you stitches,” you explained, moving to poke the area around the wound.
“Well don't look so disappointed,” Jungkook said and you couldn’t help but laugh. He always made you laugh and feel comfortable. He eased the tension between the two of you so easily.
“I am a little bit, I have a pretty good stitch technique. I did needlepoint when I was young.” you teased with a smile before moving to apply the disinfectant cream and taping the skin together.
You whispered small encouragements to him as he resisted squirming too much.
“That should be the worst of it,” you assured before grabbing the gauze to begin wrapping.
You first wrapped a soft sanitary bandage around the arm a few times tightly to keep the bleeding from seeping like it did last time. Then you began wrapping the netted gauze Jimin used the night before to keep everything secured.
Jungkook watched with a quiet smile as you continued your work, “Ya know, this kind of reminds me of the night we met.” he said softly.
“Yeah?” You smiled at the memory.
You sat in silence for a second, the two of you reminiscing quietly over that night and all that's changed since then. You finished wrapping and secured the dressing with two pieces of medical tape.
You looked up at him with a smile when you noticed Jungkook's expression shifted, a deep, tormented sadness clouding over his eyes and it made your heart ache. You open your mouth to ask what's wrong but he spoke first sensing your concern.
“Do you ever regret it?” he whispered, his voice thick.
“What?”
“Saving me that night,” he clarified.
You looked at him wide eyed and a little confused, before you let a rueful smile cross your face, “I thought I just distracted them so you could get the upper hand.” You teased quoting his claim from so long ago.
“I’m serious, Y/N,” Jungkook sighed, pulling his arm out of your grip.
“I don’t regret a thing.” You answered like it was a simple fact. Because despite how complex life has gotten since then, that part was as simple as breathing.
“How? Your life has changed so much.” Jungkook pushed, his breathing beginning to shallow, “You’re in constant danger because of me, what if something happened to you... it would be my fault.”
You saw the tears well up in his eyes as he looked away from you.
“Jungkook,” you prompted, but he refused to look at you as a hot tear rolled down his cheek. “Jungkook,” you demanded, grabbing his cheeks and turning his face to you. “I have never regretted saving you,” you breathed, “And, yeah, sometimes life gets dangerous around here but I chose to stay. I don’t want to walk away from you. From any of this.” You pushed desperately for him to understand.
Jungkook shook his head, “I shouldn’t have let you get this close.”
“That’s not your decision to make for me.” You insisted. “You might have opened the door to BTS, but I’m the one who walked in. I pushed myself further and further into your life. I want to be here!”
Jungkook was crying as you held his face. You felt his tears soaking your fingers and dripping underneath your palms.
“You don’t understand,” Jungkook insisted. You could see the toll of his work and everything he went through last night start to catch up with him in this moment of vulnerability.
“No, you don’t.” You pushed “Do you regret saving me from Nox?”
“Never,” he responded with so much confidence.
“And I don’t regret saving you.”
“Why did you stay?” He asked, looking at you through tearful eyes.
And you could see it all suddenly, his insecurity and fears as you felt the weight of his question. His fear of losing the one person close to him that didn’t keep him around because he was a good sht and worked well under pressure. He didn’t know if you would still be at the Den when he got back this morning. He thought after what happened to you last night you would run. Hoseok hoped you would, and Jungkook was terrified by it. Your heart ached with the need to reassure him that you would never go.
“Because I-” you hesitated, unsure of yourself and surprised by the bold proclamation you almost made the truth behind it, “You make me so happy, Jungkook. No one has made it so easy,”
“Nothing has been easy about your life since I came in it,” Jungkook scoffed, pulling away from your grip to wipe his cheeks, the tears finally stopping.
“It has though. You've made it so easy to smile and laugh and be comfortable. You make it easier to wake up in the morning and go to work. You talk about me being in your world, but Jungkook, you’ve wormed your way into every corner of my world and you've made it better. I will never regret saving you that night. I’d do again countless times.” you were breathless when you were done with your rant. And too caught up in the moment you realized you were still standing between his legs, so close you could feel the warmth radiating off his skin and near yelling your confession in his face.
The air hung heavy between you for a moment as Jungkook took in your words. He looked at you with galaxy filled eyes and reached his good arm up to trace your cheek softly.
And finally, he kissed you.
The heat of his mouth crashed into yours as he stood, so suddenly you almost lost your balance, but Jungkook pressed his hands against your back and held you tight to him.
You closed your eyes and returned his affections.
You expected his kiss to be hungry and desperate, reflecting the way you felt the moment you sensed the heat radiate off his shirtless body, but after the initial moment the two of you collided he slowed down, deepening the kiss and savoring you.
He was acutely aware of every tell tale sign of your pleasure as his hands traveled up your back and sides lingering any time he heard your breath catch. He was determined to make this the most pleasurable kiss you ever experienced, and you were determined to do the same.
Your hands wandered from his toned chest to his shoulders, winding their way around his neck and into his thick curls, you gave a small tug and he let out a groan, so similar to that first night he taught you self defence. It was a sound that you replayed in your mind a shameful number of nights you were alone.
Using his hair as your guide you tugged him closer to you before pulling his plump bottom lip in your mouth and biting it lightly between your teeth. He growled in approval, the sound so low you it felt vibrate through his chest.
You moved to explore deeper in his mouth, and him smirked against your lips before pulling away.
“Not so fast,” he teased.
You were prepared to protest when he latched his lips onto your throat. The sensation pulled a mix of sighs and whimpers from you involuntarily. He smiled against your neck, lingering on the most sensitive spots as he made his way up to your ear, grazing his teeth against your ear lobe as he made a promise, “I’ve wanted this for a long time, and I intend to take my time with you.”
His hot breath made you shiver, and you were caught off guard as he fell back on the bed dragging you down with him. The med kit lurched and rattled as he settled you comfortably, straddling his lap before returning to your kiss. You let your hands wander his bare torso.
Finally, Jungkook opened his mouth granting you access to him, but as you moved your tongue to explore further he was quick to take back control.
Jungkook kissed you like he trained you to fight. Always faking you out to give you a false sense of an advantage before taking back control. And you kissed back with the same raw and undisciplined fury you so often unleashed on him in the training room.
You pulled your bodies closer together, ready to take back the advantage and you both groaned in pleasure as your heat pressed against the growing bulge in his pants. His breath stuttered as you ground yourself onto him and he guided your hips in silent encouragement while his mouth made its way back down to pepper your throat with affection.
A moan escaped your mouth and the sound went straight to Jungkook's cock before he heard his bedroom door creak open.
You froze in Jungkooks hold but he wouldn't let you turn around, wouldn’t even take his mouth off your neck as he locked eyes with a shocked Jimin.
Jimin regained his composure and smirked at Jungkook's dark stare.
“Yeah, it looked like they’re still finishing up, it might be a few more minutes.” Jimin called over his shoulder as he retreated from the bedroom with a wink.
“That did not just happen.” You giggled, mortified.
“It did,” Jungkook sighed
After Jimin’s interruption, Jungkook begrudgingly let you pull away from him.
With a goofy smile on your face, you tried to give Jungkook directions on how to care for his arm. Telling him to call you if he needed help changing the dressing or felt any signs of a fever, and you would come right away.
“Is that a promise?” Jungkook asked with a smirk.
You could only blush in response before turning away to make your way to the living room where Tae was waiting for you at the end of the hall.
“Princess,” Jungkook called, grabbing you before you got too far.
You turned to him and felt the warm press of his soft lips against yours for one last kiss goodbye.
You rolled your eyes at him before turning back to meet a tight lipped Tae at the end of the hall.
---------
“Was wondering how long that would take.” Tae muttered as the two of you made your way to the garage. You could only blush in response, the same goofy smile on your face.
Taehyung was not surprised when he saw you and Jungkook kiss. His younger brother had been harboring feelings for you for months, and it only took so long before anyone gave into his charm.
He was not jealous of the two of you, either. Not in the way that he thought he would be. It actually made him a little happy to see the way both your faces split into bashful smiles, punch drunk on eachother.
His relationship with you was confusing. He had known you for years but in these past months, you had become fast friends. He learned very quickly that he loved to mess with you and get a rise out of you as much as he did the other members. So he flirted and made sly comments and was delighted to find you bit back without hesitation.
Over time perhaps, he could have felt more. But that was one thing budding relationships barely held out for. Time.
Taehyung was not jealous of you and Jungkook being together. He was jealous of how easy you both made it seem when you leaned into each other snatching a quick kiss for the road.
He was jealous of how easy you made it look to trust each other and not one bit of it blow up in your face and lead to disaster. He was jealous of how, despite your intentions being anything but, you both seemed so pure and untouched by the world. Rushing head first into the daunting dynamics of a relationship.
Taehyung has known you for years. Almost as long as Hoseok, he dare say, though as your drug dealer, he never got as close to you as his brother did.
But he watched and got to know you over time. He knew your vices, motives, and goals. And what more do you need to judge a person's character on.
Based on the information he had gathered, he concluded you weren't that terrible of a girl. A dangerous force to be reckoned with, sure. But a far cry from the terrible people he kept company with. And yet, when you started to breach the inner circle of the gang after you saved Jungkook, he hated you.
Hated that you would work at the bakery with Jin and Jimin. Hated that he didn't know what threats you would bring to his family and hated that you were on such a sacred list.
He trusted you as far as he could throw you.
Meanwhile, Jungkook and Hoseok were both ready to trust you with their lives. After two shifts, Jimin came home willing to do the same, absolutely delighted by you.
Shouldn’t their judgment of character somehow affect his?
If every person he trusts and loves is willing to let in this strange girl why wouldn’t he? Especially after you saved him from Officer Miller and comforted him after he broke down. He felt safe enough in your home to sleep in your bed while you stayed watch despite being unarmed and oblivious to the threats around you at the time.
But despite all that, Taehyung doesn’t think he could ever let you in the way he saw Jungkook. He could never press his lips against yours and make you feel safe and loved and warm.
His heart was hardened and his body was corrupt.
Taehyung wasn’t hurt that Jungkook had you.
Taehyung only wondered if he would ever allow himself to have anyone.
The drive back to the apartment was quite aside from the soft music playing on the radio. Taehyung's thoughts were swirling too quickly to make proper conversation, and he imagined yours were doing the same.
“Be sure to get some rest this evening, the gas really takes its toll on people, trust me we’ve all gone through it.” Tae said, breaking the silence.
You nodded not really knowing what else to say. Taehyung seemed tense, the officer uniform only making him look even more high strung. He kept his eyes pointed on the road, and any time you looked at him you saw his jaw clench.
When you saw Taehyung at the end of the hall you had felt something in your stomach drop a bit. You may not remember everything from last night but you could recall the few minutes before the gas when you and Tae exchanged what you thought were harmless flirtations.
But something in his expression made you feel like you were a child about to be caught drawing on the walls.
But surely he didn’t develop feelings for you? And you didn’t develop feelings for him.
Taehyung always seemed so much bigger than you and ten steps ahead of every game he played. While Jungkook had a spectrum he lived his life on. Around you he could be a college student, a budding gang leader, and a goofy friend you felt safe to confide in. But Taehyung was a spy and gangster to his core.
Untouchable and impenetrable.
You knew he never truly let you in beyond the day at the Orchard. And you breakthrough in you friendship with him had been a nothing but good timing.
Some days when Tae was having one of his moods you didn’t know if the man actually cared for you beyond the life debt that he was obligated to.
You always felt the small distance he kept between the two of you, and respected it. So why did his expression make you feel like you were doing something wrong?
You told yourself he must be stressed about going into the police station after the run in with Officer Chad a few weeks ago.
When you arrived, he took the time to walk you to your door, and the silence between you felt heavier with each step to your front door.
“We have the area secured so you don’t have to worry about your safety when you're home alone,” Tae told you while you unlocked your door.
You nodded, realizing you weren’t even concerned for your safety at your apartment before he mentioned something. You were still so naive sometimes.
“Thank you..” You said quietly.
“And if you need anything please give someone a call. There no shame in not being able to spend the night alone.” He added and for as second, his tone seemed so concerned. It felt like he was a mother bird fussing over it’s chick.
“I’m not as fragile as you think.” You responded flatly.
“I never thought you were. But when your memories come back the shock might too. Take care of yourself.” He pushed with a soft smile.
You rolled your eyes but agreed to his orders.
“And Ella?” he called for you as you unlocked the door, “I’m happy for you and Jungkook. You two deserve each other.” He said with a fond smile so genuine it caught you off guard before he turned and made his way back to the car.
------
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A/N: I’m so sorry i hate this ending ljahbefjlrbhe but it had to happen bc they FINALLY KISSED! it took over 100 THOUSANDS WORDS to build up to but i finally gave it to you. I hope you liked it??? shitty romace aside please stay tuned and believe me when i say this is the calm before the storm. Shit really starts to hit the fan soon.
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