#bubbysbub

[quotablefanfiction]

“But, why do we have to hold the rope?” Thorin asked again, eyeing the Company lined up along the line Nori had pulled from somewhere. “It’s this, or I murder you all horribly and go home,” Bilbo said calmly, scowling at Bofur until he placed his hand back on the rope with exaggerated care.

Bilbo is about to lose his shit (chp. 5)

If You Go Out to the Woods by bubbysbub (AO3) The Hobbit – Mature – Dwalin/Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins/Dwalin/Thorin Oakenshield #Alternate Universe #Threesome #Hobbit Culture #Dwarf Culture #Cultural Differences #Confusion #Mentions of Rape #Incomplete

At no point in the accidental usurpation of Thorin as leader of The Company and the quest for Erebor, did Bilbo intend for this to turn into an exploration of cultural differences (and something that almost feels like group therapy). For some reason, the Dwarrows aren’t complaining, and Bilbo isn’t going to question it, as long as the lumoxes behave themselves and do as they’re told.

Who knows, they all might yet survive this insane journey.

(Or, where Bilbo decides the Dwarves are all too stupid for him to endure this ridiculousness anymore and Does It Hobbit and the Dwarves suddenly get affectionate.)

*Please note, within this story there are mentions of the underage rape and subsequent pregnancy of an off-screen character. Mentions are brief in chapter 2, and a little more in depth chapter 4. While details are light and are more discussions of emotional aftermath, this may still be distressing to read for those with triggers. Please be cautious.

Note: This work is potentially abandoned, so if you know not being able to finish a story will bother you, you might want to avoid.

[quotablefanfiction]

Bilbo took the time to draw several good puffs from the thing, wondering again how he never seemed to ever see Gandalf packing his pipe, or running out of weed, either. It would be lovely to have his own never-ending pipe to draw on whenever he felt like. He might have to steal Gandalf’s.

Bilbo plans another theft (chp. 9)

If You Go Out to the Woods by bubbysbub (AO3) The Hobbit – Mature – Dwalin/Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins/Dwalin/Thorin Oakenshield #Alternate Universe #Threesome #Hobbit Culture #Dwarf Culture #Cultural Differences #Confusion #Mentions of Rape #Incomplete

At no point in the accidental usurpation of Thorin as leader of The Company and the quest for Erebor, did Bilbo intend for this to turn into an exploration of cultural differences (and something that almost feels like group therapy). For some reason, the Dwarrows aren’t complaining, and Bilbo isn’t going to question it, as long as the lumoxes behave themselves and do as they’re told.

Who knows, they all might yet survive this insane journey.

(Or, where Bilbo decides the Dwarves are all too stupid for him to endure this ridiculousness anymore and Does It Hobbit and the Dwarves suddenly get affectionate.)

*Please note, within this story there are mentions of the underage rape and subsequent pregnancy of an off-screen character. Mentions are brief in chapter 2, and a little more in depth chapter 4. While details are light and are more discussions of emotional aftermath, this may still be distressing to read for those with triggers. Please be cautious.

Note: This work is potentially abandoned, so if you know not being able to finish a story will bother you, you might want to avoid.

[quotablefanfiction]

“No, honestly, at this point in the proceedings, do you really think that I would bother with this elaborate plan to murder you all? If I wanted to get rid of you, I’d just poison your dinner.”

Bilbo to the Dwarves (chp. 1)

If You Go Out to the Woods by bubbysbub (AO3) The Hobbit – Mature – Dwalin/Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins/Dwalin/Thorin Oakenshield #Alternate Universe #Threesome #Hobbit Culture #Dwarf Culture #Cultural Differences #Confusion #Mentions of Rape #Incomplete

At no point in the accidental usurpation of Thorin as leader of The Company and the quest for Erebor, did Bilbo intend for this to turn into an exploration of cultural differences (and something that almost feels like group therapy). For some reason, the Dwarrows aren’t complaining, and Bilbo isn’t going to question it, as long as the lumoxes behave themselves and do as they’re told.

Who knows, they all might yet survive this insane journey.

(Or, where Bilbo decides the Dwarves are all too stupid for him to endure this ridiculousness anymore and Does It Hobbit and the Dwarves suddenly get affectionate.)

*Please note, within this story there are mentions of the underage rape and subsequent pregnancy of an off-screen character. Mentions are brief in chapter 2, and a little more in depth chapter 4. While details are light and are more discussions of emotional aftermath, this may still be distressing to read for those with triggers. Please be cautious.

Note: This work is potentially abandoned, so if you know not being able to finish a story will bother you, you might want to avoid.

[quotablefanfiction]

It wasn’t that he didn’t want his Uncle to know where they were going, and what awaited them. It was that he really didn’t want his Uncle to know where he was going, and what awaited them.

telling his family about the quest to steal from a dragon is a step too far (chp. 6)

If You Go Out to the Woods by bubbysbub (AO3) The Hobbit – Mature – Dwalin/Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins/Dwalin/Thorin Oakenshield #Alternate Universe #Threesome #Hobbit Culture #Dwarf Culture #Cultural Differences #Confusion #Mentions of Rape #Incomplete

At no point in the accidental usurpation of Thorin as leader of The Company and the quest for Erebor, did Bilbo intend for this to turn into an exploration of cultural differences (and something that almost feels like group therapy). For some reason, the Dwarrows aren’t complaining, and Bilbo isn’t going to question it, as long as the lumoxes behave themselves and do as they’re told.

Who knows, they all might yet survive this insane journey.

(Or, where Bilbo decides the Dwarves are all too stupid for him to endure this ridiculousness anymore and Does It Hobbit and the Dwarves suddenly get affectionate.)

*Please note, within this story there are mentions of the underage rape and subsequent pregnancy of an off-screen character. Mentions are brief in chapter 2, and a little more in depth chapter 4. While details are light and are more discussions of emotional aftermath, this may still be distressing to read for those with triggers. Please be cautious.

Note: This work is potentially abandoned, so if you know not being able to finish a story will bother you, you might want to avoid.

[quotablefanfiction]

Surely, though, facing Trolls and running from Wargs and facing death at the hands of bloody Giants would have been enough, but in the world of Dwarven logic, apparently not. Perhaps it had to be personally with Thorin, since he was leader. Had Bilbo shook Thorin’s hand at his front door and declared that he could throw himself in front of a horde of Orcs to defend Thorin should he fall, they would have avoided all this misunderstanding and been the best of the friends from the very beginning.

Bilbo looking back at potential ways to gain dwarven approval (chp. 5)

If You Go Out to the Woods by bubbysbub (AO3) The Hobbit – Mature – Dwalin/Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins/Dwalin/Thorin Oakenshield #Alternate Universe #Threesome #Hobbit Culture #Dwarf Culture #Cultural Differences #Confusion #Mentions of Rape #Incomplete

At no point in the accidental usurpation of Thorin as leader of The Company and the quest for Erebor, did Bilbo intend for this to turn into an exploration of cultural differences (and something that almost feels like group therapy). For some reason, the Dwarrows aren’t complaining, and Bilbo isn’t going to question it, as long as the lumoxes behave themselves and do as they’re told.

Who knows, they all might yet survive this insane journey.

(Or, where Bilbo decides the Dwarves are all too stupid for him to endure this ridiculousness anymore and Does It Hobbit and the Dwarves suddenly get affectionate.)

*Please note, within this story there are mentions of the underage rape and subsequent pregnancy of an off-screen character. Mentions are brief in chapter 2, and a little more in depth chapter 4. While details are light and are more discussions of emotional aftermath, this may still be distressing to read for those with triggers. Please be cautious.

Note: This work is potentially abandoned, so if you know not being able to finish a story will bother you, you might want to avoid.

[quotablefanfiction]

“I am not sure Thorin knows what the word ‘subtle’ means.” “It’s an elvish term, isn’t it?”

dwarven language is apparently missing a few things (chp. 5)

Epic by bubbysbub (AO3) The Hobbit – Explicit –Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Fili/Kili #Time Travel #Crack #Durincest #Oddly Maudlin #So Serious It’s Crack #Mix of Book and Movie canon #and a severe lack of logic #Bilbo as the moody pessimist #Thorin is a chatty bastard with a new outlook on life #Unashamed Fix-It #Incomplete

The up-side of being unceremoniously shoved seventy-nine (approximately) years into his past, Bilbo mused, was that at least he got the chance to murder his stupid adorable husband before, and also because, he went and got himself killed. Or… something.

In which Bilbo is pretty sure this is all Elrond’s fault but is determined to see the hallucination through, and Thorin is just confused.

[quotablefanfiction]

“You’re just as beautiful as the last time I saw you,” he nodded, drawing a startled sound of amused disbelief out of his Halfling. “Last time you saw me I was covered in Orc guts and bleeding from the head,” Bilbo reminded Thorin with a bright grin. “Beautiful,” he repeated fervently.

dwarves have interesting beauty standards (chp. 4)

Epic by bubbysbub (AO3) The Hobbit – Explicit –Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Fili/Kili #Time Travel #Crack #Durincest #Oddly Maudlin #So Serious It’s Crack #Mix of Book and Movie canon #and a severe lack of logic #Bilbo as the moody pessimist #Thorin is a chatty bastard with a new outlook on life #Unashamed Fix-It #Incomplete

The up-side of being unceremoniously shoved seventy-nine (approximately) years into his past, Bilbo mused, was that at least he got the chance to murder his stupid adorable husband before, and also because, he went and got himself killed. Or… something.

In which Bilbo is pretty sure this is all Elrond’s fault but is determined to see the hallucination through, and Thorin is just confused.

Note: This work is potentially abandoned, so if you know not being able to finish a story will bother you, you might want to avoid.

[quotablefanfiction]

“Alright,” he told himself. “Don’t be an arse. I can do this.” Somebody made a choking noise. “...He’s always an arse, though, that’s what makes him Thorin,” he heard Kíli whisper after a moment in a terribly bewildered tone, and he huffed at realising he had been pep-talking himself out loud.

Thorin thoroughly confuses his family through time travel (chp. 4)

Epic by bubbysbub (AO3) The Hobbit – Explicit –Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Fili/Kili #Time Travel #Crack #Durincest #Oddly Maudlin #So Serious It’s Crack #Mix of Book and Movie canon #and a severe lack of logic #Bilbo as the moody pessimist #Thorin is a chatty bastard with a new outlook on life #Unashamed Fix-It #Incomplete

The up-side of being unceremoniously shoved seventy-nine (approximately) years into his past, Bilbo mused, was that at least he got the chance to murder his stupid adorable husband before, and also because, he went and got himself killed. Or… something.

In which Bilbo is pretty sure this is all Elrond’s fault but is determined to see the hallucination through, and Thorin is just confused.

Note: This work is potentially abandoned, so if you know not being able to finish a story will bother you, you might want to avoid.