#buhle bonga

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Being Nervous...

... Can mess you up, hey? It's sometimes the one thing between a good interview or an audition. 

It happened to me today. You know when you prepare for something, making sure that you know what's what and you're confident that you are prepared? Well you can never be fully prepared.

So I went to a smallanyana interview today. I prayed hard and long about it and I honestly believe that this is the time to make a move in life. But after leaving the room, I kinder felt like the worst. I felt like I didn't articulate myself clearly, I had open ended responses, and sometimes I was vague. But then, there were good moments too and Lord, I am praying those good moments carry me through. 

I once auditioned for Idols South Africa. It was for work purposes and it was fun. But then the fun left the room when I was in front of the judge. He basically told me to stop singing, change my song and sing again. I broke down. I literally said "I can't do this, and I walked away." I was doing it for an article and I was still freaking out. Imagine those who were serious?

How does one control nerves? Rescue drops have never really worked on me. I like took so many during exams, family deaths and my driver's licence test, but it was kinder pointless. 

Did I mess up? Maybe. But then, as my friend always says whenever I'm about to go live on radio every Friday- "Once you stop feeling nervous, you've lost the passion and it's become too easy. Rather leave." 

Nerves are bad. Terrible. They make you second guess yourself, but man, I'm not going to allow them to dictate how I fee about things. As nervous as I may be about them.

PIC: Source

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The last five months...

... Have been really difficult. Like really difficult. 

As most of my friends know, I'm super dedicated to my spiritual life. So naturally I'll always make sure that I'm good with God. And I'm active in all church activities. Even the choir. I don't really have that good a singing voice, but I know which songs work, who should lead a particular song and which song we should never, ever sing. So that's why I'm in teh choir.

But that aside, the last five months have been really difficult for me and they've taken a toll on me. I was going through my Facebook statuses and man, have they been bleak. I'm kinder ashamed that I went through a period where I asked God: 'Where are you? Have you forsaken me? Like I thought we were cool? Oh was I just kidding myself?" The worst just has to be the fact that I didn't realise I was being through a test of fire and did I pass? I don't know. 

I have a spiritual big sis, my confidante in all things that have to deal with my spiritual life and she's been a joy. She's made me hold on and not to give up. She's made me realise that praising God instead of always moaning is the only way to get through a slump like the one I was in.

Everything was going wrong. My job. My flat and relationship with my flat mates. My car got broken into and I had no car for a month. Finances. I even hated where I worked. But then she made me realise that someone else is going through worse and that God wouldn't give me something I couldn't handle. 

When I realised that, I stopped moping, got my act together and I prayed. As much as I don't the word that much- I don't read the Bible as much as I should, I found solace in it and it just goes to show that even when all is going south, there's really a light at the end of the tunnel and you need to just believe. 

I got my car back last week. I got an interesting message from someone  who may want to work with me. See? It all works out in the end. 

Now if only I had started praising God instead of complaining... 

Six weeks left before the year is over and I want to close it off with a bang! So more positivity and good things. 

I'm now counting down to 2014 which has NO choice but to be awesome. I command it to be awesome! 

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Neglecting my Tumblr

*sigh* So I've decided to come back after nearly six months of ignoring my Tumblr.   Okay. it feels like six months. It's only been five. But still. You know what I mean. 

It's weird. I haven't even logged on to a Tumblr website in more than six months too. (five) I've been that busy, plus work has me down. 

But it's all good. I'm good. Life's not so rosy, but hey, if you don't have problems, is life really worth living? But that being said, I'd rather have rich people's problems. They are so much better. Except running away from the tax dudes. Now that aint cool.

So this is just a lil small post to say I have returned and I have so many awesome experiences to share. 2013 has been a really nasty year for me, but I've grown and it looks like the last six weeks are going to be amazing. I command them to be!

Okay. That's enough.

Later

[buhlebonga-blog]

Buhle Bonga- Candid Snaps

This past weekend was a hectic one and I went to more than 4 events. Two casual one's and two very smart ones. My good friend and photographer Sbonelo Ngcobo- he's amazing really- took this snaps of me randomly and I like them more than any of the 'posed' pictures. He's really that good and I learn something new every time I work with him. 

Pic one is me at the ICC 15 Anniversary Party on Friday and pic two is the Crown Gospel Awards cocktail dinner. 

Really love them.

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Yeah, I like being on my own. I do. I tend to be a loner, so I'm okay. I'm not okay when I have to be around everyone all the time.

Keri Russell

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Being Buhle Bonga Mbonambi

I've realised that sometimes being a loner is messed up. The misconceptions people have about you and the weird looks you get from people when you tell them that you actually LIKE being alone and LIKE your spare time where you get a chance to be by yourself.

I'm a journalist. An entertainment journalist nogal and my job requires me to be very social. I am, to a certain extent. The thing is I always like to get to know people, what they are like, the language they use, their manners, etc. It gives me a feeling of whether I should talk with these people or not. But I never shun people. Instead I go the extra mile to accommodate them and actually talk or tell a few 'jokes'. 

Anyway during the East 3 Route expedition- which you can read about on the Sunday Tribune Travel section on Sunday- I was told that I was aloof and that I thought I was better than everyone. A friend once said I was a bully for telling them my opinion when they had asked for advice. 

On Tuesday I got a message from a 'friend' who said that I'm a very cold, unfriendly person. 

Usually I don't care, but coming from a person I believed was a friend and I expected to know me a bit better, it kinder pissed me off. Surely you should know me by now? I'm not moody at all. I just like my space and since this one friend is in Johannesburg, I really don't how they came up with the conclusion that I am a cold person.

So dear friend, who I know will be reading this, I apologise for being 'cold, aloof" and every other 'mean' word you can imagine. This is how I am. I can't change that. You know I can't fake. I really can't. If I don't like something, I say so. if I do, I also say so.

Here's my Facebook status from yesterday:

So it's come to my attention that I'm a cold person. *sigh* Once again... I'm a quiet person who appears very aloof, until you get to know me well. I don't like talking to people I don't know and another thing is I get attached to people quite quickly and also I cut people from my (life) pretty quickly too. If that means I'm cold, then well, I am. This is me. You know where you stand with me and if that's a major problem, then let's just severe our ties and move on with life. This is me: Buhlebuyeza Bonga Mbonambi

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Mayim Bialik: Published

Mayim Bialik’s foray into The Big Bang Theory is one of the best decisions Chuck Lorre made on the show. She’s the only person who can intellectually challenge Sheldon. After her popular 80s and 90s TV show Blossom ended, Mayim left the scene, became a neuroscientist and reappeared on ’Til Death, before she scored the role of Amy Farrah Fowler, which should earn her an Emmy nomination next year. Why did you take a 10-year sabbatical to study? I actually took a 12-year break (but who’s counting!?)… Blossom ended when I was two years out of high school, and I come from an immigrant family so I was raised to go to college no matter what – even if you just had your own TV show. I also wanted to experience “normal” life where I was valued for my brain, not simply my acting ability. I loved science and really wanted to be immersed in it. Are you happy you managed to lead a relatively normal life? I am grateful for the academic training I received from UCLA. I met my husband there, led an|a cappella group, became more educated about my heritage and religion, and learned Hebrew. I had a “real” college experience and loved it. I love my degree and, even though I decided not to be a professor, I teach neuroscience to school kids in our home school community. I wrote a book on parenting that comes out in March and there is a whole introduction on the neuroscience of human attachment. So it comes in handy! On to Amy Farrah Fowler – what attracted you to the role? Well, I was auditioning for every role I could get after I finished grad school and this one came down the pike. I simply did my best and was thrilled to get the role! I do love playing a socially awkward nerd who is possibly weirder than Sheldon, though. Any similarities between you and your character, Amy? I am pretty socially awkward, but in different ways, I suppose. I am direct and don’t have a lot of skills many other girls have acquired (the desire to go shopping, do my nails, attract random men in bars etc) . So yes we have a lot in common. How do you juggle life in the spotlight with being a wife and mom? Well, my husband stays at home with our kids so he makes it possible. He got his masters in Political Science but loves being a stay at home dad. My schedule is very flexible so I am still home a lot. What has the fans’ reaction to Amy been like? I think it was hard at first to enter Sheldon’s world… I think fans like him the way he is and they worried this was “jumping the shark”. But the writers really kept him the way he is… so I think people aren’t hating me anymore! Does Amy have any sexual urges and will it be with Sheldon? Ha! We are learning about Amy’s ability to be aroused, and I think there is a bit more of that in store. But Amy’s sexuality is very juvenile and more theoretical! Define Amy’s relationship with Sheldon? I think Amy is “the girl who is a friend who is not my girlfriend” as Sheldon puts it. Sounds about right! We love Sheldon’s mom. Will we ever see Amy’s mom again? Amy’s mom was seen via Skype once. Sheldon told her, “I am going to make love to your daughter’s vagina” since we wanted to convince her to stop making me (Amy) date someone, so I had Sheldon pretend he was my boyfriend. I don’t know if we’ll see her again though. Amy’s friendship with Penny is weird. What’s it like working with Kaley Cuoco? Kaley is great. She is such a talented comedienne and is so beloved by our cast and crew. Your favourite episode on the 4th season of The Big Bang Theory? The episode where the girls and Sheldon go out drinking and he and Amy dance and then kiss has to be the best. What’s even more awesome is that Amy also got to kiss Penny in the bar.

Sunday Tribune SMtv by Buhle Mbonambi