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A humbling experience, but was delighted by the results. 😜 Love this concept. 2 famous masked writers, sum you up solely based on your look, without being able to hear you. Definitely want to bring these guys around to a future event. #bumbys #thebumbys #writer #poetry #lostarts #bringingitback (at ARIA Convention Center)

#lostarts #bringingitback #thebumbys #bumbys #writer #poetry

Finally found my Fair and Honest Appraisal of My Appearance

"Oh man, I'm mesmerized by your angelic youth. Your parents are writers and artists and you grew up with a library full of fairytales and literary criticism, both. Your favorite magazines growing up were JANE and the New York Review. You look like a goddamned Pre-Raphaelite goddess (with an oral fixation). I don't think I could handle you on psychedelics."

Overall: 9.7

<3 Jill Bumby

#Jill Bumby #Bumbys #Fair and honest apprasals

Some Random Interesting Facts

I make probably the best grilled cheeses on the planet. Others may also share this belief, but I pretty much live on grilled cheese and soup. I live for the day when a lady tells me to "make me a snack" and I come back with this orgasm on a plate. Now I'm hungry.

I have to make unpopular decisions at work. There are often times I know people are saying unpleasant things about me. Sometimes in order to maintain balance in business you have to be the villain. I'm fully aware some people think I'm an asshole. Those people should be thankful they have a job because my unpopular decisions are solely based on generating revenue to keep their ungrateful asses employed. If I had it my way, half this office would be fired. Let's not get me wound up about this today.

Thanks to Leslie whenever I can't sleep I listen to a certain ASMR sleep session and I will literally zonk out within minutes. I love deep, slow whispering. I think whenever I start dating again I'm going to make it a requirement that before I commit to anything, I may need you to whisper me to sleep. It's awesome. I think it's a benefit for the lady as well... annoyed with me that night? Whisper my ass to sleep then go buy some shoes online with my credit card. It's a win-win.

I have a routine when I get home. I usually feed dog and cat. Go to the bathroom. Look in the fridge for awhile. Hang up my clothes, if I decide to change that is, and clean up whatever I think needs to be clean. This usually is nothing because I keep my house spotless. I turn on the TV for usually an hour or so. I have a cocktail while making dinner (I can't tell you how badly I missed that part of my routine). I talk to my friend in California. I listen to music until I get tired. I have a glass of tea and go to bed. If you interrupt this routine knowing that I have this specific routine, I will more then likely explode. It's the only way I can unwind and get my mind off work.

They thing that boggle my mind the most? 1. Women that get to meet my mother are scared shitless of her. This is probably why I rarely, if ever, allow it. All those things I listen to women complain about what they want in their life and relationship...yeah, they usually see it the minute they walk into my parents house and it scares the living shit out of them. Have no worries though ladies, I'll be the first one to tell you that I'm well aware there's millions of you out there and it would be unfair to continue to make this assumption because I'm completely aware that I've wasted a lot of time in the wrong vaginas.

#bumbys #my grilled cheese brings all the chics to the yard #damn right it's better then yours

Truthful Tuesday: Part 2 of the Trilogy

Last night while making dinner I had the honor of talking to a real life princess. Not only a princess, but a mistress of the universe. I'm not sharing what we talked about because seriously...I've never talked to a princess before and it was fucking awesome.

My friend must have felt a disturbance in the force last night as I was suffering through the worst movie I've seen in some time, the Miley Cyrus classic, "LOL", because she said I should turn that shit off and listen to some ASMR. Now my friend is a full decade behind me so I'm thinking hey, this must be some new kind of hip music all the kids are listening to so I decide to google it. ASMR is not an alternative garage band out of Houston, Texas, but an actual science. I'm not sure what else to say about ASMR except YouTube that shit. Especially the nail tapping or deep sleep asmr videos are the tits. Not sure if it relaxes me or if it really turns me on, but they were by far more entertaining then "LOL."

There's a guy at my work who we have nicknamed "Jizz 4 Shiz" Good luck getting that out of your brain for awhile. Jizz 4 Shiz.

Thanks to cannibalqueenn and bumbys I'll be watching "Take This Waltz" tonight. I wanna give Jessica a shoutout for posting spoilers in her review. I don't remember too much of what Leslie told me because I started talking about "My Blue Valentine", but if I remember right she didn't like this film. So, since it's all I've been reading about lately I'm going to watch it tonight.

Someone unfollowed me and I'm not the least bit upset by it. It wasn't the one I thought would so that made me quite happy. One less blog to read so what I'm saying is there's a spot open for tryouts.

This has been an afternoon post

#bumbys #cannibalqueenn #a fucking real life princess