Just gonna keep record keeping here during my “burnout break”. I usually hand write in my (moleskine heheh atas) journal but my handwriting is so atrocious sometimes it is easier to look back on entries typewritten.
There were certain things that God called to remembrance today as I was troubled over Jean’s text to me, firstly:
Forgive SNEC. Renounce my hate for it - the place, the system, the people.
Yesterday I asked God how I thought I was doing. And then I asked how did He think I was doing.
I was scared because I thought He was going to be disappointed with me.
But what came for the first question was:
Release the judgements.
The whole day I had been feeling blah because I felt i didn’t do much. Wasn’t productive even with my break. I wasn’t worthy. I wasn’t deserving of any favour. And then that just broke it. I had to stop judging myself if i was deserving of feeling happy or blessings or favour based on what I did, or even smth as simple as how I spent my day.
How do You think I’m doing, Lord?
I love you.
Good enough.
I’m good enough.