#burpedcheese asks

[burpedcheese]

Osiris myth part 2

DUDE STOP TJIS IS ACTUALLY SO KAWAII N CUTESYY🥹🥹this happened gang 100% canon trust🙏

[burpedcheese]

Bro just wanted a haircut😭

THE BARBER DONE HIM DIRTY💔💔 barber so shit he lost the guy’s penis as well

[burpedcheese]

The myth of Ra's true name basically

LITERALLY BRO

[burpedcheese]

u/RealHeruSonofIsis:AITA for cumming in my uncle's salad?

Tldr:I put my semen in my uncle's salad after he tried to have sex with me in my sleep

So me(205M) has been fighting my uncle(503M) for about 80 years now for the throne after he killed my father,it's a long story but basically he tricked my dad and his own brother into a chest,threw it in the Nile(heads up that's not going to be the worst thing thrown in the Nile in this story) and chopped his body into 14 piecies when my mother retrieved his corpse.He's done a lot more but what you need to know is that my uncle is an asshole.

A respected asshole.

Because somehow this violent,stupid and lying lunatic has the respect of RA himself because apperantly he helps fight Apep or something something.

So Ra and the other gods told us to stop fighting and make up,nevermind the fact that my uncle STARTED ALL THIS but alas,i did what i was told to do and went to my uncle's house to "make peace" i.e:we had dinner.

After we had dinner i fell asleep on my uncle's bed and apperantly he had one bed for the two of us.This one's on me because how in the name of duat did i fall for this!Even the cheesiest of pornos have more subtle build-ups than this.

So as you might guess my uncle tried to have sex with me while i was asleep(ewewewewewew) but fortunately i'm a light sleeper and i awoke not in time to scream bloody murder and run away but just in time to catch his semen.

So i went up to my mother(503F) and she reacted like any normal,sane person would.She screamed and freaked up before cutting my cum-soaked hands and throwing them into the Nile(see?) and after convincing her to not go up to my uncle and beat him to death right then and there we created a plan.

In case you're not to keen on Pharoah politics,whoever is the bottom is submissive and submissive people can't be Pharoahs.I had to prove my uncle was submissive but i wasn't going to do it by simply having intercourse with him,oh no no.

Instead i was going to put my own semen into his favorite food,salad right before he ate it.

Yes,you're not reading that wrong and yes he did eat and didn't notice anything weird somehow??

A few hours later my uncle went up to the Ennead and declared he preformed "the labor of a male against me" and i started to laugh my ass off(no pun intended) and asked my great-uncle(1107),god of wisdom among other things to call our semen and he did.My uncle's semen responded from the Nile meanwhile mine responded from his stomach and eventually it came out of his ear and formed into a sun disk which my great-uncle than put on his head,no i don't how or why it happened and i don't want to know so i'm gonna skip over that part.

Everyone was shocked and my uncle started screaming at me saying how i "humilated" him which like,dude....YOU started this.But the other gods sided with me and declared me the winner of this round.

Now my uncle has challenged me to a stone boat compitation and i have to say,was i in the wrong for doing that to his salad.Sure he is a massive creep but than again there were much better ways to deal with this situation.

Anyways what do you guys think?

Obviously, Heru, you’ve done the ABSOLUTELY RIGHT thing. I’m sure anyone else would’ve done the same, and what you did was also incredibly badass and you showed him his place. Clutch up on that stone boat competition goat💪

(also nungu where the HELL did you pull ts from please dont tell me you wrote all of that😭😭 you must’ve been very bored if that’s the case🥀)

[burpedcheese]

Please tell me this hasn't been done before

im not sure but i giggled anyway😭😭 they’re so stupid horus should js shove set’s head into that toilet ✌️🙂‍↕️

[burpedcheese]

Happy New Years Eve and reminder that Horus and Set kissed on New Years Day

happy New Year’s Eve to you too and WHAT??????

[burpedcheese]

Can't stop thinking about how both Set and Nephthys are connected to alchol....Ergh

ouuughhhh this could be interpreted in so many different ways🤔🤔 i dont really have any input, but i see it as them being not the healthiest couple because of the things nepthys goes on to do later? then again alcohol was a staple thing back then sooooo uhhhhhhh could obviously be something else idk💔😭

[burpedcheese]

SUDDENLY EGYPTIAN GOD MENTIONED IN UR BIO!!!!! that is all i must say. fank you ❤️❤️❤️😨

YEESSSSS OH SUDDENLY EGYPTIAN GOD ON TOP‼️🥶🔥

let’s hold hands with the other three fans as we walk into the sunset

also here’s some of goobers to go along with this 🙏