Will i ever learn to feel safe and content going to bed alone at night?

seen from United States

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seen from Italy
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Will i ever learn to feel safe and content going to bed alone at night?
makeup used to boost my self confidence but now if anything it makes me feel worse
I'm catching up on Supernatural, and even if it's crap and I'm angry at probably 95% of the decisions they've made while making the show, it's still my baby. Sam and Dean are what brings me back every time. They love each other so much.