Hello! I've never submitted an ask before so I apologize if it's wonky. I'm curious to hear about your Butch identity, and if you have any words of wisdom for a baby butch?
Hi!! I'm honored you used your first ask for my silly lil blog 🥹 Not wonky at all! I'd love to yap about what it means to me to be Butch!
Finding the Butch identity truly felt like finding home. I have always had a weird relationship with who I am as a person, I was always too boyish to be one of the girls, but too girlish to be one of the boys, but a weird grey area. I lived as a transman for 10 years because of it all, it felt right to be called he/him but something was always missing, and it was the fact that I wasn't a man, I wasn't a woman in the cis sense of the word but in the Butch way. It took me too long to be comfortable slipping into the lesbian scene because I was scared I wouldn't be accepted, that a butch that was on T doesn't belong, but I do. I belong so intensely. Butch has so many personally meanings to so many. I'm disabled but still have upper body strength, being strong makes me feel more butch but it isn't the same for all. But enough rambling on this topic!
To me my gender is Butch, it's an identity and a political statement. I go against everything wanted from a women in society and I love it. I don't shave, I wear masculine clothing (and wear it better in my opinion), I go out and be loud and bold in who I am. I am not afraid to be flamboyant, to have fun and branch out from strictly masculine things, I like having my ears pierced, I like necklaces and bracelets that could be more "fem", I like wearing a nice outfit. A butch to me is someone who is kind to anyone who needs it, willing to give a helping hand to anyone who's reaching, standing up for the women in my life who don't have the privilege of avoiding men's gaze, standing up for my femmes, my butches, my dolls, my transmascs and transmen, my studs and anyone else who needs someone to stand by them. A butch is someone who builds community and tries to bring people together, not someone who puts others down. A butch to me is someone who steps up and does the things men aren't doing. We are chivalrous, we are loving, we are thoughtful, we devote ourselves to the people we love and will always fight to keep them safe in a world where they'd rather see us dead. We are fighters, we have fought every day to just be.
To me a Butch is someone who looks in the mirror and loves themselves despite what the world has told them to believe, we aren't broken. We aren't some freaks, we aren't unnatural. We're just stepping up to the plate and accepting every curve ball thrown at us in this long confusing life.
I was asked once when I still went as a trans man "You hate men so much, why do you want to be one?" I replied "Because there has to be some good men out there, and I'm going to be it." I pick up the slack of men who couldn't care less about the people around them, and until they do I'm always going to be the good role model of what a "Man" should be. I am a devoted partner, I am caring to all, I am empathetic and have such a want to protect the people around me.
My advice? Live, don't be scared to be butch, don't be scared to be you, don't be afraid to love loudly and deeply, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and raise your standards, don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, don't be afraid to live. Things are going to be scary, but do it scared, because not doing it at all is just as scary.
And don't think you'll be othered and deemed unattractive by the community because boy howdy there are lesbians out there that'll drool over you, they'll see you as the perfect butch boyfriend material you are. I should know, my girlfriend found my account and showed me she was as devoted to me as I was to her.
In short, I am a butch because I am kind, because I am chivalrous, because I care about the people around me, because I am me. I'm unapologetically me. I am Butch.
